Of Paws and Hands
by drizzleandflames
Summary: "A man might befriend a wolf, even break a wolf, but no man could truly tame a wolf." G.R.R. Martin /In a twist of fate, the dwarves, Bilbo and Gandalf make an extraordinary acquaintance along their journey to Erebor. Intrigued by the power and the mystery of a legendary creature in need of help, they decide to add yet another member to their company./ Slight AU, Kili/OC
1. A meeting in the dark

**So, alright.**

**This is not my first fanfiction but it _is_ my first fanfiction not being written in my native language but in English. So please: have mercy if there are any mistakes in grammar or spelling or maybe vocabulary. I'll try my best to avoid any errors but I thought I might put a little 'warning' here, just in case. :)**

**However, I hope you are going to like the story and leave some comments if that is the case aaand, yeah. Let's get started!**

* * *

The sky was covered in dark, almost black clouds but no raindrops had yet fallen on the company that was riding through green woodland.

Bilbo Baggins looked up to the sky and sighed quietly. It was only a matter of time until the raining would come undone upon them and they would all be soaking wet. And of course – in all the hurry he had left his hobbit hole – he had not brought anything to protect himself from it. Heavens, he hadn't even brought a handkerchief. The hobbit wondered if the dwarves were prepared for rain, even though he didn't really think so. Sure, they had their cloaks and their hoods but once it would begin bucketing down, he doubted that they would be much drier than him.

Although luck seemed to be on their side since the rain held off this evening and the company could set up camp on dry ground and start a fire without any trouble.

Bilbo was already quite used to the way things went about in the evenings. Thorin would usually order Bombur to make some food for all of them, then someone – mostly Fili and Kili – were ordered to look after the ponies and he chose three dwarfs to keep watch for some hours respectively during the night. Bilbo had never been chosen to keep watch which was quite alright for him since he wouldn't exactly be of any use would there be an attack or any other problem. He didn't even have a sword.

The hobbit sat down next to Ori who was writing eagerly in his little notebook and watched Fili and Kili disappear behind the trees with the ponies out of the corner of his eye. Soon after dinner was served and after some chatting over the campfire, most of the company went to sleep when Fili and Kili came back. They had tied the ponies to some trees so that they could still be seen from where they had set up camp. Bifur was the first one to keep watch and so the only one awake some time later.

* * *

_Carefully and without making any noise she ducked to hide behind some bushes. Never letting get her prey out of her sight. The deer had raised its head suspiciously and looked in her direction without seeing her. The darkening evening gave her an advantage since it covered the environment first in grey tones that became darker the closer the closer night came. With her dark grey and black fur, she was able to use her surroundings as camouflage._

_She made another few tentative steps forward and this time the deer didn't seem to hear her footsteps, it just kept browsing the woodland floor._

_One more step. And another, then she was readying herself to jump and rip the animal's throat open with one systematic bite with her sharp teeth._

_Suddenly – just as she was about to go for it – a cough echoed through the silence of the woods and startled the deer which then in the dim light recognised her standing not even two meters away. Before she could even blink, the animal ran and fled through the bushes._

_A deep frustrated snarl erupted from her throat as she lost sight of the deer. Normally, she would have chased after it and probably even gotten it but there was something that kept her from doing this now._

_She got up from her ducked position and back to her full height. Irritated, she took a few steps in the direction the cough had come from, careful not to put too much weight on her injured left paw._

* * *

Bifur kicked the brown-haired dwarf in the shin, after he had only gotten a cough out of Kili the first time when he'd shaken his shoulder. Now the dwarven prince opened his eyes and sat up to look at Bifur sleepily.

"Is it my turn already?" he asked and Bifur replied a gruff 'yes' in Khuzdul. Kili sighed silently and got up. "Good night, Bifur" he mumbled and the older dwarf just nodded before lying down and getting some sleep.

Kili sat down on a rock and pulled out his quiver and bow. After a few moments, his eyes adjusted to the darkness of the night and he started to check the sharpness of his arrows quietly. He was still quite sleepy but that didn't bother him much. He actually liked being on watch since he could just let his own thoughts wander and reflect on something without having anyone interrupting. He didn't really revel in his thoughts much, he never actually had the time to do it but at night, when there was no one awake but he and the moon, he allowed himself to think of what had happened so far and what was yet to come.

A movement on the edge of the camp in front of him caught his eye and he immediately readied his bow. At first, he thought he had been mistaken when he didn't see anything but suddenly, there was a sharp reflection of light and he spotted two eyes that shimmered golden behind a few leaves. Eyeing him closely.

He pointed an arrow in the direction of these eyes, although he was sure it was some sort of animal that was probably more scared of him than he was of it. It shifted slightly seeing the weapon but didn't run. Instead it lowered its head and stepped a bit closer.

And now Kili could see the head of a large black wolf peeking out of the bushes and looking at him curiously as it seemed. Curiously and warily.


	2. First impressions

**Asdlkjghf! First of all, thank you guys so much for your lovely reviews already after the first chapter! It really, really made my day and gaahh, thanks!**

**So, here comes the second chapter. I hope you enjoy it!**

* * *

_Cautiously, she took another step towards what appeared to be a dwarf, although the man had not much of a beard, just a little stubble. That seemed rather unusual for what she knew about dwarves. But he was not of the race of Men, this she could tell for certain. She had seen many Men in her years and they had all been quite a lot taller. He couldn't be an elf, either. She had never seen a hobbit, but she knew they didn't wear footwear and their feet were big and hairy and used to walking around barefoot all the time._

_Once she was half out of the bush, she stopped and observed him. He still had his weapon pointed at her but lowered it a bit when he saw her paw which was hurt and bloody. She kept it close to her body as she hopped a bit uneasy on the spot._

_She didn't really know why she had come so close to this camp and she could have bitten her own head off for it now. What had she been thinking? It was dangerous to go near people she knew that. Well, she was hurt and couldn't hunt, so she thought that she might find something to eat at the camp. Men always kept food on them when they travelled and some of it was usually lying around and therefore easy to snatch. She had only done this twice in her life, though._

_The dwarf now slowly put his bow to his side and fumbled with one hand in his pocket. She eyed him suspiciously and then her eyes grew big when he pulled out a little sausage and held it towards her._

_She tilted her head to the side, confused. What was he doing? She didn't know exactly what he wanted from her but it indeed looked like he was offering her food. Tentatively, she came a bit closer and he slowly got down from his boulder and on one knee to get a better look at her paw. She stopped abruptly in her tracks and looked at him. Something was going on here, but she didn't quite know what. She didn't trust this dwarf._

_"Don't you want it?" he asked her quietly and she tilted her head again but was immediately focused on the sausage that he waved at her. He was actually talking to her now. What a strange dwarf this was. She wondered if he knew she could understand him. Or – she eyed him warily – if he knew what she was._

_He smiled at her then and the smell of the sausage filled her nose as he broke it in two pieces. Oh well, she thought, why not just take the offer. She could still bite his head off later if he tried to hurt her._

* * *

Kili watched as the black wolf – which appeared to be unusually big – slowly brought its head closer to the sausage that was lying on his palm now. The wolf then threw him a quick glance before snatching the food and taking a little step back immediately. Kili couldn't quite hold back a little smile as the animal chewed. He had always had a soft spot for animals, which had placed him at the receiving end of a lot of jokes not only from his brother when he had been younger, and this wolf was probably the most beautiful one he had ever seen.

Its black fur was dense and shimmering like silk in the faint moonlight. It almost seemed like it had a bit of a bluish shine to it. The wolf's ear-tips and belly were covered in a slightly lighter colour that appeared to be faint grey.

His gaze fell upon the animal's left paw again then. It looked quite nasty if he was to be honest and he couldn't help but pity the wolf. Obviously, it couldn't hunt in this condition, which was probably why he had taken his food offer so willingly. Who knew when that creature had last eaten?

The wolf looked back up at him when it had finished the piece of sausage. Kili smilingly offered it the second part of it. This time, the animal didn't hesitate as long as before. It came a step closer and took the food from Kili's hand and chewed it right in front of him. He could have touched it if he had wanted to. But instead, he took a closer look at its paw. It looked like something was embedded in it, which caused the wolf quite a lot of pain. The blood on it wasn't fresh but already dry and Kili wondered how the animal had gotten hurt.

Cautiously, he tried to reach for the paw and was rewarded with a sudden snarl. Immediately, he stopped in his tracks and looked at the wolf. It was scrutinizing him with its golden eyes.

"It is alright, I do not wish to hurt you" Kili said softly and the wolf seemed to consider his words. Fili would always mock him for talking to animals, be it a pony, a bird or in this case a wolf. But Kili was convinced that animals could understand what he was telling them. Maybe they didn't know exactly what his words meant or even understood them, but they understood the tone in which you were speaking them, that was for sure. They knew when you were angry and they knew when you were kind to them. And so he hoped that this wolf – which appeared to be unusually calm for a wild animal – would understand what he was trying to tell it.

"Maybe I can help you with that paw of yours" he mumbled, taking another look at it.

And apparently, the wolf did understand what he was saying since it slowly brought forward its injured paw and held it in front of Kili so that it was half sitting up.

The young dwarf was quite surprised by this action, cautiously took the paw in one hand and frowned at the big black wolf in front of him. He wondered just how well this animal might understand what he was saying.

The animal sat still while Kili was tending to its injury. It didn't make a sound, just watched him almost curiously while he carefully cleaned the paw from all the dried blood with a tissue. The dim light of the campfire surrounded them and Kili looked at the wolf's face from time to time to see how it responded to his treatment but it just kept watching him calmly.

"Oh my" he murmured, once he could see the origin of the pain. "How did that happen to you?" Kili looked up and the wolf just snuffled a bit. It almost seemed dismissively to Kili and he gave the wolf a curious look before he looked back at the paw that had a little piece of an arrowhead buried in it.

* * *

_She watched the dwarf tend to her wound with interest. It seemed strange that he would help her. Wasn't he afraid at all? After all, she was an animal, a wild one and she could attack him any second. Surely, he must know that. But he didn't seem to care much. And she didn't really have the intention to attack him, after all. He was nice, had given her some food and who was she to decline a helping hand when she was offered one?_

_So she sat there in silence and let him examine her paw._

_"How did that happen to you?" he asked. She understood and puffed out some air of her nose to at least show him some of her annoyance concerning that topic since she couldn't talk to him. He looked at her curiously. Maybe he was beginning to see that she understood a bit more of the world than a usual wolf._

_A little whine escaped her when he suddenly pulled out the piece of arrowhead._

_"Sorry" he said and she took a look at her paw herself. It looked nasty and it hurt but the pain was considerably less than before now that the thing was out. She gave the dwarf a grateful look and smiled, although to him it probably just looked like simple panting._

_He smiled at her nonetheless and cleaned out the wound._

_"Wait a minute" he mumbled then and got up. She didn't know what he was going to do but she remained seated and watched him silently walking across the camp, avoiding to step on any of his companions. She took a moment to let her eyes wander over this company. They were all dwarves, except a small figure lying on a bedroll near the fire. Intrigued, she stretched her neck a bit to get a better look at the little man and suddenly saw one of his feet peeking out under his blanket. A big and hairy foot. A hobbit!_

_She had been so busy observing the hobbit that she didn't realize the dwarf returning to her until he was a few feet away from her. Immediately, she focused on him again and as he kneeled in front of her, she saw that he was holding a white bandage in his right hand._

_"I don't have anything to apply on it, I'm afraid," he said and she wasn't sure he was actually talking to her or just out into the blue. "But at least the bandage will keep the dirt from getting into the wound."_

_With that, he held out his hand suggestively and she slowly put her paw in it. He smiled._

* * *

Kili smiled. He quite liked the way this wolf interacted with him. Carefully, he wrapped the bandage around its paw and then let go of it when he was done. He watched as it tentatively put it on the floor and tried to stand, slowly putting more weight on it. Kili heard a small hurting sound come out of its mouth and it shifted its position a bit. Still it favoured the uninjured paw but could now at least stand on all four legs again. The young dwarf smiled happily at the majestic animal that just looked at him panting. It kind of looked like it was smiling, he thought.

"There you go," he told the wolf. By now, he was quite sure that he was being well understood; he just wondered how that was possible. Maybe this wolf had a very special instinct when it came to interaction with non-animals or maybe he was tame and belonged to someone.

Kili looked up to the sky and watched the moon for a moment. The wolf still was in front of him and to be honest, he was quite enjoying the company of the animal. But his watch was almost over and he would have to awake Dori in a few minutes.

"Well," he said, "it was a pleasure to… make your acquaintance. I will have to get some sleep and leave you to yourself again, I'm afraid." The wolf tilted its head for a second and looked about the camp, seemingly thinking about something. Kili raised one eyebrow when the animal then took two steps towards his kneeling form and gently touched his hand with its nose. He didn't really have time to react before the wolf turned around and slowly walked away and disappeared between the bushes.

Kili laughed silently to himself before he got up to wake Dori up. That had been quite an extraordinary encounter, indeed.


	3. Witching hour and a new morn

**Here we go again, my dear readers! I am really happy that you guys like the story so far and I really really appreciate your opinions and reviews! And of course, I hope that you will like the following chapters as well :D**

**And to give an answer to IceheartsChill: Eehehe, she's not exactly a shapeshifter but... well, we'll find out soon enough :D**

* * *

_She slowly walked through the bushes, away from the camp and the brown-haired dwarf. She couldn't help but smile to herself. That had been an awkward but nice encounter. Something that was entirely new to her. It was highly unusual for a dwarf or anyone to treat her like he had and she was grateful for his help. She took a quick look at her bandaged left paw. Without the dwarf's help, it would probably have gotten infected in a few days and she couldn't have hoped to get that bloody arrow piece out on her own. It really was an advantage to have hands and thumbs, she guessed. Well, she could have tried to get it out with her teeth but that would have hurt much more and it would have been a nasty task._

_She was already quite distant from the camp but she could still see the fire as a very small orange point in the dark behind her when she looked back._

_Suddenly, there was a loud snap and she turned her head in the direction of the trees in front of her. They were surrounded by darkness and she had to concentrate hard to see through the thick blackness before her. A fact that was confusing just as much as it was scary. Normally, she was able to see almost perfectly in the night with her wolf eyes but the darkness that spread before her was somehow different. It was like a wall of pure blackness swallowing every light even if it was just a dim grey shimmer. And it strangely seemed to be extending._

_She stood frozen into place for a second, watching the scene. The darkness was coming towards her, she was sure of it. A terrible coldness crawled up her spine and she began to tremble and snarled out of instinct. Then, there was another snap coming directly from inside the black wall of… what was it? It seemed like shadow, she thought, but a shadow of what exactly? And then she heard it. It was a sound that almost made her blood freeze. Hoarse whispering. She couldn't make out what the voices – or was it just one? – were saying but she was damned sure she didn't want to find out._

_So she turned around._

_And she ran._

_Her paw hurt like hell but she didn't care. She just had to get away from this darkness as fast as possible. And as she ran through the woods, charging through bushes, she felt the cold slowly leaving her body, a sign that she was gaining more distance, she thought._

_When she finally slowed down after running what felt like hours, not feeling chased anymore, she saw the familiar campfire before her, shining through the leaves. Whether it was accidentally or just out of instinct, she had run back to the camp where the brunette dwarf had been, she realized._

_Cautiously, she stepped through the bushes and caught sight of a grey-haired dwarf, leaning against the boulder the brunette one had sat on an hour or so before. He was fast asleep._

_Silently, she sneaked past him and stepped around the sleeping dwarves, sniffing on a blanket or a dwarf himself here and there until she saw the brown-haired one lying a few feet away next to a blond one._

_For a moment, she hesitated but then the ugly feeling of fear crept back up in her stomach and she walked up to his sleeping form. He was lying on his side, one arm tucked under his head as some sort of pillow._

_He looked peaceful, she thought._

_It might be strange but she felt safer here in the midst of a bunch of sleeping dwarves than out alone in the forest where this… thing… had been. This feeling was concentrating mainly on the brunette before her, though. It might have been because he had cared so much about her before but she trusted that the darkness – whatever it had been - couldn't reach her here._

_So she lay down close in front of him and rested her head on her paws next to his torso._

_She let her eyes wander over the edge of the camp one last time and looked shortly at the ponies tied up a few metres away. Some of them had nickered slightly when they caught sight of her but they seemed calm now._

_Well, she thought, they had no need to get troubled over her presence. She would be gone in the morning before anyone would know she had been there at all._

* * *

Kili woke up from his sleep when he heard hushed murmuring around him. Then, suddenly, he was nudged quite harshly on his shoulder and he opened his eyes and turned his head to look straight into his brother's eyes.

"What's going on?" he asked sleepily. Fili gave him an alarmed look and signed him to be quiet. Kili frowned at his brother, then the blonde pointed to something next to him. Questioningly, he turned his head in the direction and blinked in surprise.

A big black wolf was lying beside him, sleeping peacefully. Kili looked back up at his brother who had one hand on the hilt of his sword and seemed unsure of what to do. Behind him stood Dori, Dwalin and Bofur, the latter of which watching the scene curiously. As Kili looked around the camp, he found that the rest of the company was also up and watching from a distance. He met the gaze of his uncle who was frowning at the scene. They were all alert to the dangerous animal being so close to Kili but they probably thought they could have hurt him in the process of killing it, since the wolf's body was merely a few centimetres away from Kili's.

When he met Thorin's gaze, his uncle signed him to slowly move away from the animal but Kili shook his head quickly. Thorin sent him an irritated look.

Kili sighed silently, turned around and touched the wolf's shoulder, stroking it gently, ignoring the alarmed looks of the company.

"What are you _doing_?!" Fili whispered and looked at his brother as if he had lost his mind.

The wolf opened its eyes immediately when it felt Kili's touch and looked at him, seemingly surprised. He gave the animal a pointed look.

"I thought we had parted ways last night" he mumbled, ignoring the weird looks his companions gave him. The animal looked around, probably considering how to make its escape but it was a bit too late for that now. It would have been nearly impossible to get through all of the dwarves without risking to get hurt.

So it lowered its head a little and looked at him in a best puppy-eyed manner. He sighed again and slowly reached out to stroke its head, the black fur feeling silky and fluffy under his fingertips. The wolf let him pet it and Kili couldn't help but feel a bit honoured by that. It was a sign that the animal didn't feel threatened by him and maybe even trusted him. He wondered what could have brought it back, though. Had it still been hungry and hoped to snatch another snack? Or had it wanted to be near a warming fire at night? Had it been frightened of something? He thought about that for a second and sat up, the wolf raised its head again and shifted a bit closer to him.

"What is going on here, Kili?" The voice of his uncle came from beside him, firm and disapproving. He looked up at Thorin and shrugged slightly, looking for the right thing to say. The dwarf-king's gaze fell upon the bandage around the animal's foot then and he raised an eyebrow at his nephew.

"Well, I… he was hurt and I took care of his injury when he came into the camp during my watch. He didn't attack me or even as much as snarl, so… A piece of an arrowhead was stuck in his paw, so I took it out…" Kili stuttered, still stroking the wolf's head tenderly. The animal just lay there, listening to the dwarves attentively.

Thorin gave his nephew a disapproving glare that was at the same time slightly incredulous. "You tended to the injury of a wild wolf?" he asked. "And then decided to keep him as a pet?"

Kili hurried to explain himself. "No, no! Of course not, uncle, he left camp when my watch was over and I'm sure he wasn't anywhere near when I went to sleep… I … He must have come back."

Thorin's gaze now wandered to Dori who was scratching his head sheepishly. "Did you see anything?" Thorin asked, although he already knew the answer.

"Well, I might have missed a few things near the end of my shift" the grey-haired dwarf admitted guiltily and Thorin gave him a stern glare. Dori lowered his gaze to the ground. "I'm very sorry."

"Something must have scared him" Kili continued to break the tension that was building up and the wolf raised its head a bit and huffed lightly, almost to confirm Kili's statement.

"What is this commotion all about if I may be so blunt to ask?" came a voice from behind them just as Thorin was about to say something and they all turned to look at Gandalf who was just entering the camp. Mahal knew where that wizard had ventured off to during the last hours, Thorin thought. The dwarfs parted a bit so that the wizard could see and step through the crowd.

Kili felt the wolf stir a bit when it caught sight of Gandalf but it relaxed just a moment later as the wizard crouched down in front of them, holding on to his staff. The animal and the wizard examined each other for a moment until a little smile appeared on Gandalf's face.

"My, my," he muttered. "What a sight to behold."

Kili looked at him confused. "What do you mean?" he asked the old man and looked at the wolf himself. Gandalf didn't seem to listen to him; he just kept looking at the animal, which now sat up. Kili stopped stroking its head and retired his hand. What in Durin's name was going on here?


	4. Legends awake

**Hello, hello!**

**I'm back with a new chapter and just to be clear: they are coming day after day because you guys are just really really motivating me! I love to see your reactions to the chapters :D**

**IceheartsChill: Nahh, not a trapped soul either, I'm afraid :D She's a bit complicated :P But you will find out what she is in this chapter... Although, I doubt it will help you that much because there are quite a few secrets about her that won't be disclosed immediately :D**

**To all you other reviewers: Thank you so, so much for your lovely reviews and gahh, I love you guys :D**

* * *

_The wizard looked at her intently. Of course, he had known about her identity right from the moment he set eyes on her just as she had known that he was a wizard from the start. She had always admired wizards. They were wise and kind protectors of Middle-Earth, she thought._

_She had not met many of them, though, but she knew that there were five of them. In fact, only one of them had she met more than once. And even the word 'meet' was maybe a bit exaggerated. See and getting seen was more like it. This one wizard went by the name of Radagast, the Brown who didn't usually meddle in the business of Men, Elves or Dwarfs, but who cared more about animals and nature. He was a kind man and she quite liked him for that._

_She had never met this particular wizard in front of her before but she was quite sure from the way he was looking at her that he meant no harm. Nevertheless, she was very surprised to see a wizard in this company of dwarves and one hobbit. That seemed to be a rather curious constellation._

_"Now, what could possibly have led you here, my dear?" the wizard asked her curiously in a calm voice. She saw that some of the dwarfs looked at him rather funnily but he didn't mind. He knew she understood and he was waiting for an answer._

_So, she looked up at the dwarf whose name she had learned to be Kili, and then back to the wizard._

_"Ah" he breathed in slowly, considering her action. "You took a liking to our Kili here, then?"_

_She gave the wizard a doubting look and Gandalf chuckled lightly. Of course, he wasn't exactly wrong with what he said, she really had taken a bit of a liking to the young dwarf but that had not been the reason she had come back. It had just been an additional factor. She hadn't even intended to stay that long; originally she had wanted to be gone by morning. Well, it was obviously a bit late for that to work out now._

_It was strange what had happened last night. This all-swallowing darkness that she had seen building up before her. But now that it was a new day and the forest was enlightened by the fair morning light she couldn't quite make out if it had all really happened like that. She had been tired, after all, and the whole affair might just have been a phantasm and not… well. Whatever it had been. But she wasn't sure of it and she didn't care to take the risk._

_As it was, she felt that she might find help in this wizard who had just watched her calmly while she had revelled in her thoughts._

_"What kind of wolf is this, Gandalf? What is going on here?" The tall dark-haired dwarf who had spoken to Kili before asked then. She looked at him for a moment and saw his gaze resting on her sceptically but he seemed a little curious as well._

_"This, Thorin, is quite an extraordinary wolf as you already know, I take it." Gandalf said and turned to look at him and the whole company except Kili who was still sitting beside her._

_"She belongs to a species that has inhabited Middle-Earth since time immemorial. They have been known for their wisdom, their strength and their kind hearts above all. Some used to say that they bare secrets that would bring great power upon those who managed to bring them to light." Gandalf explained, exchanging a look with her while he spoke._

_She just let the wizard speak and sniffed at the young dwarf beside her. He didn't seem to mind and just let her continue her examination of him calmly as he listened to Gandalf._

_Kili smelled of wood and dirt at the moment, but she didn't care about that. What she did care about was the scent that was hidden under the layers of what travelling brought.  
And underneath it, he smelled like autumn wind. And something sweet that she couldn't recall ever having smelt before._

_"I have heard of wolves like that before," another dwarf said then, one with a big white beard and a bit of a funnily shaped nose. She looked over at him and sat back down next to Kili._

_The white-haired dwarf exchanged a quick look with this Thorin-dwarf and another bald one to his side._

_She huffed lightly when they looked back at her. 'What of it?' she wanted to ask._

_Gandalf nodded and she got slightly bored while everyone was looking at her. She knew what she was and what was being said about her race. She didn't need to listen to the wizard explaining it to his companions. In fact, most of what was told was utter rubbish anyway._

_Kili was still sitting beside her, his gaze going back and forth between her and Gandalf. She had quite liked it when he'd caressed her before she realized when she looked at him. It wasn't really usual for her to get pet, so this came as a bit of a surprise._

_Slowly, she got up then and wandered towards the rest of the company, already aiming for her goal, it being a little man with hairy feet, standing between the dwarfs. She felt she could move about between them now without having anyone chop her head off with an axe._

_The hobbit stiffened when she arrived at his side, which was no wonder, she thought, since he was a very small man and she was a very big wolf. But she had no intention of hurting him and he watched her in surprise when she started sniffing at him, too._

_She had never seen a hobbit before, so she was very curious as to what they smelled like, what they looked like, what they sounded like._

_It turned out that the hobbit smelled like forest and sweat, which probably wasn't too much of a surprise if they had travelled through the woods for a while. But there was another scent to him as well that was hidden underneath, one that reminded her of grass and fresh bread. She liked it._

* * *

Gandalf watched the wolf examine Bilbo and couldn't hold back a little smile.

"What kind of wolves are you all talking about?" Kili asked, not understanding what had Balin and the others so intrigued and slowly losing patience. The old dwarf gave his uncle a hesitating look as if checking if Thorin was all right with the revelation.

But the dwarf-king spoke up himself, looking thoughtfully at the animal that was unceremoniously sniffing at the hobbit's trousers.

"You mean to tell me that this… is an _Amarok_?" The question was directed at Gandalf even though Thorin didn't look at the wizard.

"She is indeed" Gandalf hummed and inspected the incredulous faces of the dwarves. Even Bilbo looked at the wolf by his side in awe.

"I thought Amarok were only a legend," Fili spoke up, stepping closer to his brother who had gotten up from the forest floor now, "They were only parts of stories that you tell to small children. Massive wolves that roam through the lands, waiting to slay anyone foolish enough to venture through them alone at night."

Kili remembered having heard such a story when he had been a young lad. Another dwarfling had told it to scare them. Kili had believed the story back then but forgot about it as he grew older.

But as it now turned out it had been quite a bit overdone. In the boy's story, Amarok had been the size of bears and had spittle coming out of their always blood stained mouths. They had been aggressive and ruthless in his tale.

And now this wolf that was examining Mr. Baggins' feet with undeniable curiosity should be one of those creatures? Sure, it was quite large and had teeth so sharp and paws so big that they could definitely kill you. But this wolf was friendly. He was sure of that.

"Well," Gandalf said, "they have become a very rare sight, which caused them to become… well, quite legendary. In fact, today they are so rare that the fact of their actual existence mostly vanished from people's consciousness and they only exist as vivid representations of danger in stories. They don't come near towns anymore and they tend to avoid contact with others, be it animal or not."

"She", Kili had to get used to the fact that this wolf was a female and more importantly how Gandalf could be so sure of it, "doesn't seem to avoid contact."

The wolf had finished examining Bilbo by now and strutted back to Kili's side where it started sniffing at his pockets. He looked down at her and she sent him an asking gaze. She probably smelled the remains of the sausage that had rested in there the night before.

"Yes, well," Gandalf said, "She is still quite young as it would seem and therefore maybe a bit reckless. And as you have stated earlier, Kili, something has most definitely scared her. Otherwise, she would not be here. Amarok are quite literally lone wolves and very much capable to defend themselves."

The wizard seemed absent for a moment and looked at the wolf attentively. She returned his gaze.

Thorin watched the scene from a small distance. He still couldn't quite believe that this wolf belonged to this legendary race. He had heard of them, of course. And not only had they been part of stories he had heard in his childhood like it was the case for his nephews.

No, he had known that they existed since he had been a young lad. His father had told him of the big wolves that ventured through the lands. Some of them never to be seen, since they were rare in general, but there were some few that had belonged to certain people in his time. Well, not exactly 'belonged'.

They had been more of a partner to those people. Not – as you would might think – to kings or warriors solely, either.  
It didn't take blue blood or power to get an Amarok's friendship and people knew that back then. It took something else, entirely. It wasn't easy and there had only been word of two people at that time, one of a Man, living far away in the deserts of Harad and another of an Elven king, who had made such a friendship.

Thorin had seen an Amarok wolf once a long time ago when King Thranduil of the Woodland Realm had made his appearance before Thror in Erebor and never again afterwards. That had been over one hundred years ago.

He had been of a completely different colour and much more conservative than this one but the height of this wolf and the way she interacted with them left no room for doubts. This was an Amarok, most definitely.

He was ripped out of his thoughts when Gandalf spoke up again. "Oh, well," he mumbled, talking to the wolf directly, "Thank you, Tarya."

"Wait a second! Tarya?" Kili interfered again and gave the wizard an incredulous look. Gandalf merely nodded.

"That is her name. Or rather what her name would sound like in the common tongue."

"How would you know she even has a name?" his nephew asked and Thorin couldn't help but shake his head slightly. Kili had obviously not much of an idea of what Amaroks were capable of. Or wizards for that matter.

"She told me, of course" Gandalf chuckled and as Kili looked down at Tarya, she started panting and it looked as if she was grinning at him.

"How is that possible?" he asked.

"Well, there is some benefit in being who I am." Gandalf smiled and the brunette dwarf raised an eyebrow at this statement.

"I would suggest that she accompanies us" Gandalf then said and leaned on his staff, "And since we are on that topic, we should soon start moving again, we do not want to lose anymore time in this place."

Thorin looked at the wizard for a moment, stupefied. "You are suggesting that a _wolf_ becomes part of my company?" he asked then.

"Oh, not at all, Thorin. I am suggesting that an _Amarok_ becomes part of your company. The question now is if you will open your mind as to what advantage she might bring to this mission."

Thorin thought about this for a second. He knew about the legends that entwined around those creatures. And he couldn't deny that he was tempted to see if those tales were indeed true. He had been ever since he had seen that large white wolf standing calmly beside Thranduil back in Erebor.

"If something has indeed scared her, what was it?" he then asked sceptically, looking first at the wizard who looked a bit hesitant, then at the wolf itself.

"I do not know." Gandalf admitted light-heartedly.

Thorin considered the thought of having an Amarok within their company for a moment while the others watched him curiously. Then – to everyone's surprise – he suddenly nodded shortly before turning around.

"Pack up and saddle the ponies, we are moving on."


	5. Of wolves and dwarves

**Hello, dear readers! :D**

**First of all, a short message: There will be no new chapters after today until the next weekend because I'm going to Barcelona for a short holiday! Yaay!**

**_But_****, since I'm so happy that you are enjoying this story, there will be two chapters for you today as a little compensation :D**

**IceheartsChill: Weew, Amaroks! :D Well, there are a few things about Thranduil's companion (don't call them pets, they don't like that xD) but that's a story to be told another time :D And yeeahh, I'm not a fan of Thrandy, either, the little moose-diva.**

**Fangirlatyourservice: Haha, I love your theories, but I gotta say nope to all three of them, even though they would be very interesting, too :D**

**Thank you all so much for your reviews and favs and follows! Gnah, that's really motivating! :D**

* * *

_Tarya waited patiently until all the dwarves had packed up and untied their ponies from the trees to saddle them._

_Gandalf stood beside her while she watched Kili mount his pony. She didn't know why he had told the dwarfs that he didn't know what she was afraid of. She had told him all she had seen. Or rather, she had shown him. Let him see it. It seemed a bit strange that he would withhold that information but he surely had his reasons to do so._

_He was a wizard, after all. They knew what they were doing. And maybe he really didn't know what it had been just as she didn't know, either._

_"Well," Gandalf said and looked down at her smilingly. "I am glad you decided to accompany us. I am sure I will find more information about this… shadow that you saw once we arrive in Rivendell." His voice was hushed as if he didn't want anyone else to hear what he was saying to her. She didn't know why he did this but she didn't really care about it, either._

_She simply grumbled lightly as an answer and then walked over to Kili who smiled at her when he saw her approaching. His pony wasn't as pleased as its rider and neighed agitatedly, then shifted when she came close to it but she tried to give it a friendly look to calm it down. It worked more or less but probably more because Kili gave it a reassuring pat on the neck and hold the reigns a bit tighter.  
The dwarf looked down on her, the friendly smile still playing around the corners of his mouth. This dwarf certainly did smile a lot, she thought._

_"Well, then, Tarya" he said and she quite liked that he was using her name now. "This could be the start of an interesting friendship."_

_She couldn't help but grin at his statement for he was right, so she started panting again and made a slight movement with one of her ears, which made him laugh quietly._

_She just followed the company then as they started riding, mostly trotting along next to Kili at the beginning. Of course, they talked about her and exchanged some of the stories they had heard about Amaroks but they all seemed to be all right with her coming along. Maybe it was because they were curious or maybe they just adapted quickly to new situations, she didn't know._

_It wasn't as strange to be walking along this company as she initially had thought. They were quite a merry bunch of dwarves – there were only two of them who really seemed to belong to the grumpier or just quieter kind, their names being Thorin and Dwalin – and she enjoyed listening to them talk and joke with each other. And one after another, she came to know their names as they called out to each other from time to time._

_She came to be interested in quite a few of them already, as they all seemed to be very different from each other. Never had she actually spent time with a dwarf – or any other race for that matter. She usually didn't venture near their camps and in the two cases in her life that she had, she had been gone again a few minutes later._

_This was different._

_An Amarok was used to being alone, it was in their nature. It was necessary, because being alone was what protected them._

_It had not always been like this, she knew. A long time ago, long before her time, her ancestors had been more open-minded towards people. But the race of the Amarok had to learn the hard way that people were greedy and ruthless._

_They had been hunted and captured as people had tried all they could to find a way to access the legendary hidden secrets of the wolves that would grant them the powers they desired. Some thought it was in their blood, others thought that you had to treat them nicely until they would reveal them and kept them in caves and again others were convinced that only wearing the fur of an Amarok would lead them to greatness._

_It was madness and it had been a nasty business. Of course, none of those people had found what they had longed for in the end._

_Tarya knew all this but she couldn't help but be fascinated by these dwarves, the hobbit and the wizard. It was all so… she couldn't quite pin it down. The way this group interacted seemed very interesting to her for one thing. They were all heavily armed, the only exceptions being a dwarf named Ori and the hobbit, making them the weakest link in the company to her esteem._

_The leader of the group was obviously Thorin and she thought that he actually did quite behave like an alpha-wolf. Which was something that she could relate to for obvious reasons. Even though Amarok didn't live in packs, which was because they did not accept the concept of alpha-wolves, really. There were stronger ones and weaker ones but no Amarok would ever be ruled by anyone, not even one of their own._

_Mother-wolves only kept their pups with them until they were about two years old. Teaching them everything they had to know to survive during this time. After that, they had to spend their years mostly alone and take care of themselves. They parted ways and usually never saw each other again. Even for an Amarok the sight of another one was rare._

_But to be alone could get quite lonely at times, Tarya thought, while she was observing the company she was now travelling with. And since Amarok lived far longer than any usual wolf or animal, time could be a cruel companion._

_As for Tarya, she was 68 years old by now._

* * *

"It is rather strange…"

Kili looked over to his brother who had murmured something he hadn't quite been able to catch. "Huh?"

"It's funny," Fili repeated, this time a bit louder, "That you would meet a wild wolf in the night, vet it and in the morning you have suddenly befriended a legendary creature."

Kili grinned slightly when Fili chuckled to himself. He was right, it was rather curious. But he didn't mind at all. He had liked Tarya from the beginning even when he hadn't known what exactly she was and he was still convinced that she was the most beautiful wolf he would ever see. She just seemed so… majestic. Majestic and mysterious.

But at the same time, she somehow behaved like a puppy that was exploring the world for the first time. When she had first sniffed at Bilbo, he had been sure she'd never seen a hobbit before. And even now, as they were already riding since a few hours, she was trotting along the company, happily examining everything and everyone that seemed interesting. She ventured from dwarf to dwarf to hobbit to wizard, listening to them while they told stories and jokes.

Often, she could be found walking next to Bilbo who occasionally talked to her just as he did with his pony before she came back and continued on next to the youngest Durin. Actually, she never ventured very far away from him, he realized.

Later that day, the sky darkened even further than the day before and finally, the rain that they had escaped before fell down on them in big drops. Soon they were riding through what could be called a thick never-ending curtain of raindrops. Kili looked down on Tarya as he pulled his hood over his head but she didn't seem to mind the dreadful weather. Well, as a wild animal she was certainly used to any kind of weather, he guessed.

She was the only one not being affected by it, though. The mood of the entire company sank with every drop that hit them.

"Mister Gandalf, can't you do something about this deluge?" Dori asked desperately but the wizard only sent him a short look.

"It is raining, master dwarf." He said, "And it will continue to rain until the rain is done! If you wish to change the weather of the world, you should find yourself another wizard."

"Are there any?" Bilbo spoke up from behind and Gandalf turned to look at him.

"What?"

"Other wizards?" the hobbit clarified as he wiped some rain from his face. The poor guy didn't even have a hood, Kili thought. Gandalf nodded and now most of the dwarfs were listening to their little conversation.

"There are five of us. The greatest of our order is Saruman, The White. Then there are the two blue wizards. Do you know, I've quite forgotten their names." Kili looked over at him, Gandalf seemed to try and remember the names for a second but seemingly failed miserably.

"And who is the fifth?" Bilbo continued curiously.

"Well, that would be Radagast, the Brown." The grey wizard said and to Kili's left Tarya started panting again. He looked down at her questioningly when Bilbo continued.

"And is he a great wizard or is he… more like you?"

Gandalf seemed a little offended by that question but answered nevertheless. "I think he's a very great wizard, in his own way. He's a gentle soul who prefers the company of animals to others. He keeps a watchful eye over the vast forestlands to the East, and a good thing too, for always evil will look to find a foothold in this world." With his last words, he looked over at Tarya shortly but no one noticed, not even herself.

Tarya made a little approving noise and looked up to Kili. "I take it you know that Radagast fellow?" he asked and she made another noise to confirm his statement. Kili nodded. "It seems like there is quite a lot to know about you, Tarya" He hadn't really meant the words to be directed at her but she had heard him through the noise of the rain nonetheless, of course, and grinned at him. Laughingly he shook his head and rode on in silence while the rain was dripping down on them.


	6. Evenings by the fire

**_Aaand, here's the promised second chapter!_**

**_I wish you all a great week and I will be happy to read your opinions and reviews when I come back from my little holiday!_**

**_Whoop! :D_**

* * *

_The rain only stopped two hours or so before dawn and the sky finally cleared up to let the sun through. Thorin called out that they would set up camp and Tarya could hear the dwarves sigh in relief._

_As they dismounted their ponies and tied them to some trees, she waited patiently a few feet away. She was relieving her bandaged paw from her weight now and so only stood on three legs. The pain had gotten considerably better if compared to what it had felt like before Kili's treatment but the continuous walking for the whole day had still done the trick. It hurt._

_Kili was coming towards her then, his brother at his side. He looked at her worriedly when he saw her standing there and crouched down in front of her, reaching out his hand. He didn't have to wait; she immediately put her paw in his palm._

_"Wow," Fili muttered, observing the two of them. "And I always thought Amarok were bloodthirsty monsters."_

_She sent the blonde dwarf an unnerved look and puffed out some air of her nose. She would have told him that he was an idiot if she could have._

_"She doesn't seem to agree." Kili grinned and released her paw. "I will change the bandage later. It's all dirty from all the walking in the mud today."_

_She grumbled thankfully and she thought he understood since he smilingly stroked her neck for a moment before getting up and walking over to the place where the others were setting up the fire and their bedrolls._

_Tarya followed him but made a little detour to Bofur who was getting out a little wooden thing and stuffing some weed into it. She stopped at his side and curiously looked at the object. She'd never seen it before but the smell that was coming from the weed seemed familiar to her. She had definitely smelled that before around other people's camps._

_The dwarf with the funny hat gave her a sideways grin when she tilted her had as he kindled the weed._

_"It's a pipe," he said to her then and she looked at him surprised. None of the dwarves beside Kili had spoken to her directly until now as if they still didn't believe that she understood every word. Obviously, Bofur wanted to give it a try. "You smoke the herbs and it helps you to relax."_

_He had now inhaled deeply and suddenly smoke was coming out of his mouth. Tarya watched him curiously. So that was what smoking looked like, she thought. Well, there were definitely a lot of things that smelled better than this. Then he made a little ring of smoke come out of his mouth and she gave an amused yelp, which made him chuckle._

_Then a little whistle echoed through the camp and as she turned around, she could see Kili sitting on his bedroll, waving a clean bandage at her. She would have frowned at him if she could have. She liked him but the whistling wasn't really her thing. She wasn't a lap dog, after all. She gave him a little snarl then, not really threatening but still clear. Immediately, she had the looks of all of the dwarves on her who had been close enough to hear it._

_Kili raised his hands in surrender. "You're no friend of whistling. Duly noted. Excuse me."_

_Satisfied, she slowly walked over and sat down in front of him. He gave her a little smile before changing the bandage. While he took care of her paw again, she sat there and let the talking of the dwarfs, the crackling of the fire and the smell of the food Bombur was cooking wash over her._

_Contrary to what any of her instincts would usually suggest in a situation like this, she felt very relaxed. She felt some of them watch her sometimes but she didn't mind. She was a curiosity and they could not be blamed for their interest in her._

_She looked over at Ori who was sitting by his brothers, scribbling into his notebook and looking over at her from time to time and she wondered what he was doing there._

* * *

As Kili wrapped up the bandage he had gotten from Oin around Tarya's paw, he looked at the black she-wolf who was busy watching Ori. He looked over at the dwarf himself for a moment, catching how he glanced at Tarya for a moment before returning to his notebook. Kili smiled slightly. Ori had been making sketches of their surroundings and their company ever since they had left the Shire. He could only imagine how excited the dwarf must be now that he had the chance to draw an animal that was rare in such a way.

He fastened the bandage and let go of the big paw. Tarya looked at him and hummed friendly.

"You're welcome," he said as she lay down beside him, rolling on her side so that her back was lightly touching his left leg. She was staring into the fire then and Kili watched fascinated as the light made her golden eyes shimmer like a melting sun. Then she closed her eyes and he got up to get his share of dinner from Bombur.

When he walked back to his spot, she had vanished and he looked around the camp but couldn't see her anywhere.

"Went into the bushes a few minutes ago," Fili said from his side and sat down. Kili frowned a little but before he could even say anything else, Tarya emerged from the bushes quite a few metres away from the company's camp and strutted past Dwalin, Thorin and Gandalf through the camp and planted herself next to the youngest Durin again. A dead bird between her teeth.

Kili only frowned at her when he saw the new bandage already full of dirt again but Tarya only looked at him innocently and he shook his head.

"I'm sure my brother would have shared with you, you know" Fili said then, grinning at the wolf and then at Kili, earning himself a little grumble from her and an eye-roll from him.

* * *

_She knew that the brunette dwarf would probably have shared his food with her but she didn't want to eat from his ration when there was already not much given out to any of them, as she had observed. And she was sure that Kili was very hungry himself. So, even though Bombur's stew smelled like heaven, she had left the camp when she'd seen that Kili had turned his back on her._

_It hadn't taken her long to find something edible. But it had been quite a challenge to catch it. Her paw still hurt but she'd tried for the bird nevertheless. Unfortunately, it had noticed her attempt when she had been very close already and she had had to jump to catch it mid-air. She'd gotten it but the landing had sent a painful sting through her leg._

_But now that she was lying beside Kili again, she was contently chewing on the bird's remains while he spooned his own dinner and she didn't really think about the pain any longer, it would certainly be better in the morning already._

_Kili casually stroked her back every now and then._

_She could get used to this, she thought. This was actually quite nice._


	7. Old grudge

**Sooo, I'm back in town! Whoop! :D**

**And I thought I'd present you with a new chapter, even though it is really just a bit of a filler before the actual action starts :P**

**momopanda95: She's not exactly 4 feet but more like 3.7-3.8, so somewhere in between. Amaroks do vary in height, though, so there would be some who might be bigger or smaller than Tarya :)**

**All the others: Thank you guys so much for your reviews and favs and follows! It is highly appreciated, let me tell you! :D**

* * *

Gandalf was observing Kili and the Amarok from a little distance, sitting on his spot next to Balin, smoking his pipe. She seemed completely relaxed at the moment, the bird she had caught already getting digested by now. He couldn't help but be fascinated by how naturally Kili treated Tarya. It was highly unusual that an Amarok would let anyone get as close to them. Maybe it had something to do with Kili's openhearted nature, Gandalf guessed, or with hers.

He reveled in the scene he had seen in her mind for a moment. It was a pity, he thought, that Amarok couldn't express themselves towards others the way they could towards a wizard. It needed a bit of magic to access their thoughts. But still, Tarya seemed to be able to communicate almost effortlessly as it was.

But nevertheless, what he had seen had him worried now. The wolf obviously didn't know what it had been but Gandalf had a sneaking suspicion. There had been rumour about some old dark might rising up again near the south of Mirkwood. It was highly possible that this shadow had something to do with it. Maybe it was time to pay a little visit to Dol Guldur, the wizard thought and puffed out some smoke to cover up his face for a moment. And he most definitely had to tell the great council about this.

Gandalf looked over at Tarya, wondering whether it would actually be a good idea to bring her to Rivendell. But then again, he wasn't sure if it was safe to leave her alone as long as he didn't know what had haunted her. He didn't want her to get hurt.

"She is very different from the wolf that accompanied King Thranduil all those years ago" Balin spoke up and Gandalf turned his head a little to see him looking at Tarya, too.

"You have met an Amarok before, then" Gandalf replied thoughtfully and Balin nodded. "It is rather rare to see one in a lifetime, even more so meeting two."

"Would you say we are all lucky, then? To have found her?" Dwalin asked from Gandalf's other side. The wizard looked over at Thorin for a moment then but the dwarf-king was staring into the fire, seemingly not listening to them. But Gandalf knew better.

"No, master Dwarf, you can deem yourselves honoured that _she_ found _you_."

Thorin now looked up and directed his gaze to Gandalf who was still watching him. "You are suggesting that this did not happen out of coincidence?"

"There are only very few things that do not happen for a reason. This is not one of them, I would think." Gandalf murmured.

"Mister Gandalf," a voice then echoed through the camp and the wizard turned his head to look at Kili. "Could you tell us something more about her? About Amaroks?" he asked and quickly looked down on Tarya who was just lying beside him, all four legs stretched out. She obviously didn't care much about these stories.

"Well, they are kind creatures in general. They simply learned not to trust people too much." The wizard answered and gave the wolf a regretful look.

"Why not?" Ori piped up shyly and Gandalf sent him a friendly smile.

"They have been victims of the selfishness of people, I'm afraid… A long time ago, Amaroks could be seen more often. They were still quite rare but not as much as they are today. They did appear near villages sometimes or you could accidentally meet one when on the road." Gandalf explained. "That lies many, many decades back, though."

He now had the attention of everyone in the company on him; even Tarya herself had opened her eyes but she didn't look at the wizard, her gaze was directed into the flames. Gandalf almost thought the look similar to the one he had seen on Thorin only moments before.

"Then why are they so rare now?" Bilbo asked quietly and looked over at the wolf that was still staring into the fire absent-mindedly.

Gandalf sighed. "There was an old telling that the Amarok carried a secret. The so-called 'origin of light'. And whoever managed to discover it, would be bathed in glory and power. People, of course, tried to access this secret. And it didn't take long until Amarok were hunted and held captive. Most of the few that ventured near cities got killed. People drank their blood and wore their furs as coats."

"That's horrible," Kili breathed and some of the companions nodded in agreement. The young Durin-heir gently stroked one of Tarya's ears and she just huffed quietly.

Gandalf just tilted his head a little, observing the dwarf. "There are many terrible things that one would do to become powerful."

"So the Amarok that survived started to avoid people," Bilbo guessed, looking a bit sad. He didn't understand how one could hurt an animal in this way just to gain power. But then again, he didn't understand how people could be so desperately striving for might, anyway.

Gandalf merely nodded. "They have become rather shy. Understandably."

"Except this one." Fili said and pointed to Tarya who now turned around so she lay on her back, her paws hanging in front of her torso. She made a little noise and yawned.

"That's not right, she was rather shy yesterday when I first saw her" Kili replied and smilingly rubbed Tarya's belly. He liked the faint grey colour her fur had in that spot.

"Well, but she adjusted quite quickly," Fili answered and Kili shrugged in agreement.

"She is still young," Gandalf spoke up, smiling at Tarya and the brown-haired dwarf. "She is naturally curious and obviously trusts that none of you will try to hurt her."

Everyone was silent for a moment before Bofur spoke up again. "And how young is she exactly, Gandalf?"

"Oh, I would guess her age settles somewhere between 65 and 70 years." Gandalf smiled and Bofur looked at him incredulously.

"What? But that's… how old do Amaroks get, then?"

"No one knows exactly," Gandalf said, "Since no one has ever seen an Amarok die of age."

The dwarves stared at Tarya but she had rolled into a ball by now and closed her eyes.

* * *

_Tarya had become rather tired and had now rolled herself into a comfortable position to sleep. She didn't like hearing about those stories of the suffering of her kin, since she knew all of it. It was a bit depressing, to be honest and she could easily do without it._

_She didn't see any advantages in getting yourself lost in the pain of the past and she didn't want to belong to the kind of Amarok that felt resentment and hatred for their whole lives. Life was too short for that, even when it lasted longer than one could imagine._

_She felt herself getting sleepier and the last thing she heard before she drifted to sleep was the voice of Gloin._

_"Well… Is it true, then? Do they have the ability to make someone's fortune?"_

* * *

_They soon travelled further, once they had woken up the next morning. Tarya had been the first one to wake if you didn't count Bofur who had been keeping watch._

_This time, Tarya wandered a bit further from the group sometimes, exploring what lay ahead and straying off the path from time to time. But she always found her way back to the company not too long after._

_As they reached a meadow with the ruins of a small cabin on it, Thorin called out that they would set up camp there._

_The dwarves got off their ponies and Tarya stood by Kili while he unsaddled his brown mare. Thankfully, the mood of the company had lightened up again after yesterday. It had rained a bit more today but not as bad and they were all dry by now. Only Tarya's fur was still a bit damp because of its denseness._

_So as she waited for Kili to finish his work on his pony, she shook out her fur once more._

_"Hey!" Kili laughed. "Watch where you're shooting those drops, will you?"_

_She looked up at him and saw him wipe some drops from his coat and his face. He made a face like he was chastising her and she couldn't help but grin. He just looked funny doing it. It didn't fit him._

_"I am pretty sure you're finding this disproportionally funny," he said and she could see a smile tugging at his lips, so she just tilted her head and gave him a little yelp._

_"Thought so" he grinned and shook his head before he turned back to his pony again. She just kept grinning._

_Suddenly, she heard an agitated voice from a little further ahead. She looked in the direction and slowly walked towards the two figures arguing there. She caught the last phrases that Thorin threw at the wizard who was standing between the ruins with him._

_"… A dragon attacks Erebor. What help came from the elves? Orcs plunder Moria, desecrate our sacred halls. The elves looked on and did _nothing_!" He was practically spitting out his words now. "You ask me to seek help in the very people who betrayed my grand-father. Betrayed my father."_

_Tarya didn't know what exactly he was talking about. Obviously, he had a deep animosity towards elves and as it sounded he had good reason to. She had never heard of Erebor before but she had indeed heard of dragons. She didn't know what Moria was but she did know Orcs. And so she could only imagine what horrible things had happened to those places._

_"You are neither of them." Gandalf said, trying to reason with the dwarf before him. "I did not give you the key to that mountain for you to hold on to the past!"_

_"I did not know that it were yours to keep!" Thorin snarled and Tarya was reminded once more of the similarity between him and an actual alpha-wolf reprimanding a member of his pack._

_Gandalf then just sighed and turned around, shaking his head in frustration. He walked right past her, only giving her a short apologetic glance before he stormed past the rest of the group._

_"Everything alright?" Tarya heard Bilbo ask as he marched past him. "Gandalf? Wh-where are you going?"_

_"To seek out the company of the only one around here who's got any sense!" the wizard shouted back._

_"And who's that?" the hobbit asked confused._

_"Myself, Mister Baggins!" he yelled and then mumbled something to himself but it was too low and he was already too far away for Tarya to catch it._

_She couldn't help but grumble a bit. What was that wizard thinking? She had come along mostly to get his help as he had told her he would find answers for her in Rivendell. And now he was just leaving?_

_Thorin shot her a sideways glance as he roughly called out to Bombur that they were hungry. Poor Bombur quickly hurried himself to start a fire. Now that had just been rude, she thought. Sure, she was an animal and she wasn't really known for politeness or anything like that. She didn't have to be polite to anyone being a wolf. But she knew when someone let out his or her anger on another person and the fat dwarf had definitely not deserved such a harsh tone._

_She grumbled again, this time a bit lower and louder. The dwarf who she knew to be a king turned to look at her. He just raised one eyebrow at her but she could see in his eyes that he had understood that she was unhappy with his behaviour. It didn't seem to bother him much, though._

_Well, she thought, after all he was their alpha-wolf and if they were unhappy with his treatment they would have to fight their own fights._

_So she just turned away from him and then followed Fili and Kili as they led the ponies away from the camp to tie them up and watch them._


	8. Messing with trolls

**Behold a new chapter! :D**

**This one is a tad longer, I think, but I wanted to get the whole scene in, so there you go :D**

**Thank you all so much for your reviews! I love to read your opinions and your thoughts about Tarya and I'm always looking forward to your reactions to what's coming :D**

**So, enjoy the chapter and let me know what you think!**

* * *

Kili turned around and slumped down on a turned over tree trunk when all the ponies were tied up and taken care of. Fili followed his example mere seconds later.

The brunette brother picked up a twig and started twisting it in his hands when Tarya stepped through the bushes and walked towards them. Kili started grinning lightly as she stepped in front of him and inclined her head to sniff his hands. He showed her the twig and then threw it over her head in a swift motion.

She didn't even blink, nor did she take a second glance at where the thing had flown.

Kili could almost feel her mocking glare when she huffed, turned around and walked over to the ponies.

"You're a dog in the manger" Kili called after her, grinning and got a little low howl in return that sounded suspiciously like 'Up yours'. The young dwarf laughed lightly.

"How come you two… understand each other so well?" Fili asked in a low voice, watching the big black wolf examine the forest floor with her nose a few metres away from them. Kili shrugged.

"She's not that hard to understand, Fee. You just have to pay attention." He said, smiling slightly. His brother sighed but returned Kili's smile.

The brothers watched the Amarok trot around the ponies in silence for a moment, when she suddenly stiffened and raised her head, her ears pointing in the direction in front of her.

Before anyone of them could see what was going on, Tarya snarled low and menacingly. Immediately, Fili and Kili got up, attempting to draw their weapons.

But before they could do anything, there was a loud crack, a muffled neighing and in the next second, Tarya had vanished in the bushes.

The brothers stood there for a moment, stupefied.

They didn't even realize Bilbo approaching from behind them until he spoke up.

"What's the matter?"

Kili was the first one to regain his voice and answering the hobbit.

"We're supposed to be looking after the ponies…" he said.

"Only we've encountered a… slight problem." Fili continued, giving his brother a worried look over Bilbo's head.

"We had sixteen" the brunette said.

"Now there's fourteen" Fili finished as they looked at the assembled ponies together.

Bilbo nodded, trying to make sense of what the dwarves were telling him. "And… and where is Tarya?"

"We don't know" Kili said and then turned around to check which ponies went missing. He came back only moments later. "Daisy and Bungle are missing."

"Well, that is not good," the hobbit stuttered, "h-ha… and that is not good at all!" he added as his gaze fell upon a broken down tree trunk. "Shouldn't we tell Thorin?"

"Eh, no… Let's not worry him," Fili quickly answered, looking at the trunk himself, "As our official burglar, we thought you might like to look into it."

Bilbo looked at the blonde dwarf sceptically for a moment before he spoke. "Uh, well… T-this, something big must have uprooted these trees" he said then, walking towards the trunk and inspecting it.

"That was our thinking" Kili intervened, thinking of how Tarya had snarled at whatever it had been that had stolen their ponies.

"It's something very big, and possibly quite dangerous." Bilbo finished then, now looking around nervously.

There was a moment of silence and Kili wondered once again where Tarya had run off to. Had she simply abandoned them as soon as there was the slightest hint of danger? He didn't really believe that but it sure looked like it.

"Hey! There's a light!" Fili whisperingly called out, "Over here!"

And as they went over and ducked behind another tree trunk, Kili could see it, too. And he did not like what he saw one bit.

"What is it?" the hobbit asked.

"Trolls" came the worried and angry reply from the brunette dwarf.

* * *

_She wondered where those damned dwarves were. Had they not heard the trolls? Did they not care about their ponies being stolen from camp and getting eaten? She didn't really want to believe that for it would have been a huge disappointment in what she thought these people to be. But it did not explain why she was sneaking through these bushes all by herself, seemingly the only one interested to help the other animals. Maybe she had just been to fast for them, she thought, maybe she should have made it clear what had trampled through the forest._

_She ducked under a big bush of violet berries when the troll walked past her. His foot had missed her by mere inches but she withheld another snarl for she didn't want them to hear her. Yet._

_When she felt it to be safe enough, she emerged from her spot and followed the troll's giant footsteps until she stood at the edge of their camp. There were three of them, she now saw. She would not be able to defeat three trolls. One maybe, with a bit of luck, but three were too many. Although while they all seemed to be in conversation about something now, she might find a way to get those ponies out of the little cave they were put into._

_She stepped back into the darkness of the trees and sneaked around the camp until she reached the ponies. In the shadows, she thought of what to do now. She could try to bite off the ropes that held the cave together but that might alert the trolls if she made a wrong move and a wrong noise._

_Tarya frowned slightly when suddenly, she saw a little shadow flit behind the troll's backs towards her spot. Only on second glance she realized that it was Bilbo. What was the hobbit doing here? Had they sent him to free the ponies? Had they all gone mad now? This was much too dangerous for the hobbit to do, she thought._

_But as it was, she could only stand and watch as he snuck up to one of the trolls who had by now turned out to be called Tom, trying to steal his knife._

_This was going to end badly._

_Just seconds later, the hobbit was scattered in troll snot and being held captive._

_"What is it?" one of the others asked, Bert, if she remembered right._

_"I don't know but I don't like the way it wiggles around!" Tom answered and Tarya watched as he dropped Bilbo on the ground, threating him with his knife. "What are you then? An oversized squirrel?"_

_"I'm a burglar… uh, hobbit!" Bilbo stammered and Tarya would have shaken her head if she hadn't set all of her concentration on the hobbit._

_"A burglarhobbit?" Tom asked confused._

_"Can we cook him?" Seemed to be the more important question at the moment, being asked by William, the cook._

_"We can try!" Tom replied and tried to grab Bilbo but the hobbit was faster than they knew and it took them a while to catch him._

_"Gotcha!" grinned William, holding the hobbit tight in one hand, "Are there anymore of you little fellas hiding where you shouldn't?"_

_"No!" Bilbo quickly shouted but the trolls were not so easily fooled for the moment._

_"He's lying! Hold his toes over the fire, make him squeal!" Tom suggested agitatedly but before they could do any such thing, Tarya saw a familiar brunette head of hair emerge from the bushes and stabbing one of the trolls in the foot._

_"Drop him!" Kili yelled._

_"You what?"_

_"I said… __**drop him**__." He repeated and swung his sword in one hand, grinning challengingly._

_Then, Bilbo was thrown at the dwarf and they both landed with a loud thud on the ground at the same time all the other dwarves entered the camp, arms raised and with a fierce battle cry on the lips._

_Tarya could only stand there for a few seconds, looking at the dwarves fight and repeating the scene in her head. That had not been how she'd imagined this to go. And she had not thought that these dwarves were actually such fierce warriors. They were armed, yes, but seeing them using those weapons sent a strange feeling through her. There was something about weapons that was simply unsettling._

_But then, right as she was about to enter the camp herself and slash some troll, the dwarfs reluctantly threw their weapons to the ground. Confused, she looked around and saw that Bilbo had been captured. This was not good, she thought. Then, she witnessed how her companions were put in bags one after another. Not good at all._

_So she decided to change tactics, since theirs had obviously not worked out so well and she couldn't hope to fight three trolls on her own. Maybe she could get them a little help and until then, she could at least buy them some time, somehow._

_Tarya sneaked along the edge of the camp until she was behind the trolls._

_Then she let a loud howl escape her throat that echoed through the forest._

* * *

They all heard the sudden howling from somewhere behind the trolls, but it was hard to tell where its origin was since the echo was surrounding them. It took only one moment, before there was a second howl and now the trolls finally took notice of it, two of them hurled around, looking worriedly at the trees.

"What was that?" Kili heard one of them ask. He tried to get a better look but the way he was laying on this pile of dwarfs was making things a bit complicated.

"It sounds like a wolf," another one suggested.

Tarya, Kili thought, she had not abandoned them. She was out there, somewhere, and she was trying to help.

Then, there was a loud rustling to the trolls' left and just seconds later to their right.

"Were is it? I can't see a thing!" Bert called out nervously, trying to spy into the bushes.

"Don't worry 'bout that, 'tis just a little wolf. You could squash it with your little toe! Let's get to business with cooking these dwarfs!" William replied, turning the ones of their company who were tied on a spit over the fire.

"Oh, don't bother cooking 'em! Let's just sit on 'em and squash 'em into jelly!" The third troll, Tom, suggested.

"They should be sauteed and grilled with a sprinkle of sage." Bert answered and looked hungrily at the dwarves. Kili could only gulp, it was just too frustrating not being able to defend themselves against these cursed trolls.

"Never mind the seasoning, we ain't got all night! Dawn ain't far away, let's get a move on! I don't fancy been turned to stone." William said and just in that moment, there was a silent rustling near the dwarves. Kili heard it and looked up questioningly. Obviously, he hadn't been the only one who had heard the noise; his uncle was peeking into the darkness of the woods with a stern expression.

"No, wait! You are making a terrible mistake!" The hobbit suddenly cried out and drew the attention of Thorin and Kili back to their situation.

"You can't reason with them," Dori called out, "they're half-wits!"

"Half-wits? What does that make us?" Bofur yelled back from his spot on the spit. Obviously, he was still able to make jokes, even when he was being grilled over a fire.

Bilbo now got up, hopping a few centimetres towards the trolls in his sack. "I meant with the… uh, with the… the seasoning!" he stuttered, gaining the attention of the trolls now.

"What about the seasoning?" Bert asked.

"Well, have you smelt them? You're gonna need something stronger than sage before you plate this lot up!" the hobbit improvised and immediately got angry mumbles from the dwarves as an answer.

"What do you know about cooking dwarf?" William asked but was shut off by Bert.

"Shut up, and let the...uh, flurgerburbur-hobbit talk." He said angrily.

"Th...the-the secret to cooking dwarf, is um..." Bilbo was having some trouble making something convincing up.

"Yes? Come on."

"It's, uh..."

"Tell us the secret!" Bert yelled, impatiently.

"Ye-yes, I'm telling you. The secret is...to...skin them first!"

Kili couldn't believe what he was hearing from that little man. Angrily, he yelled and swore at the hobbit and he was not the only one. The others joined in, releasing their anger verbally on Bilbo who could only roll his eyes. These dwarves really were half-wits, he thought.

* * *

_Tarya didn't know what the hobbit was doing but it sure held all the attention of the trolls on him and she was quite grateful for that when she was sneaking up on the pile of dwarves. Silently, she made her way through the leaves towards them but couldn't avoid a little rustling from time to time._

_When she was at the very edge of the shadows, she stopped for a moment to check the situation. Thorin was the only dwarf who was lying in a way that she could reach him, so she ducked and snuck towards him. He didn't realize she was near him until she got up from her position. She saw him twitch a bit before he turned his head and recognized her. His eyes grew a bit bigger but he kept silent._

_Tarya shot a quick glance to the hobbit that was now talking about Bombur being infected. He was obviously trying to buy them time. She wrinkled her nose a bit when he claimed that, in fact, all of them were infested with parasites. Suddenly, she heard a familiar voice call out from a little bit underneath._

_"We don't have parasites! __**You**__ have parasites!" Kili shouted at Bilbo._

_Tarya snarled frustrated. Did he not understand what the little hobbit was trying to do?_

_Thorin looked at her for a moment, then to the hobbit and then he suddenly kicked Kili in the back to shut him up. Tarya smiled at the king. Obviously, he had finally understood. When the dwarves now started to discuss who had the biggest parasites, Tarya bent forward and buried her teeth in Thorin's bag, then she started to pull on it. But the stupid thing didn't want to give way and so she grumbled lowly before she put her forepaws on Thorin's torso, to gain some counterbalance._

_The dwarf only looked at her surprised, throwing glances towards the trolls from now and then._

_Suddenly, two things happened at once. The first one: the sack gave way and tore apart, leaving a surprised Thorin and Tarya who had not really believed that this would actually work. Second: The troll named William yelled at Bilbo for taking them for fools and tried to grab him._

_Tarya reacted out of instinct and launched herself in front of the hobbit with one big leap. A threatening snarl escaped her mouth and she aggressively bit the hand that tried to grab hold of Bilbo._

_She quickly let go before the troll could dash her away. The troll retired his hands with a pain filled yelp._

_"The dawn will take you all!" a voice suddenly called out from a cliff behind and Tarya looked up to see Gandalf standing there. Finally, she thought, it had taken him long enough to get there._

_"Who's that?"_

_"No idea"_

_"Can we eat him, too?"_

_Suddenly, Gandalf broke the cliff he was standing on in two, to let in the rising sun's light. The clearing was dipped in bright sunlight then and the trolls immediately turned to stone._

_Tarya watched the scene fascinated. She had never seen anything like this but those trolls didn't deserve different, she thought, while all the dwarves laughed in joy._

_"Ooh, get your foot out of my back!" she heard Dwalin grumble and started grinning._


	9. You are being hunted

**Hello, people!**

**First, I have a short announcement to make: I'm gonna start an internship tomorrow which means that updates to this story won't come daily anymore as result of a probable lack of time. I guess I'll update twice a week if everything goes as I want, maybe even more often. Just when I find the time :D**

**_Chilled Souls of the Forgotten_****: You've changed your name! I was so confused when I wanted to reply to your review and suddenly there was another name :D Ahh, well, anyway: You always make me laugh with your comments and I just wanted to tell you that :D And KILL IT WITH FIRE is definitely always a good option :D**

**Thank you guys so much for your reviews, I appreciate each and every one of them! Seriously, I'd never have thought that this idea would please so many of you! :D**

**And now, enough rambling, enjoy the new chapter!**

* * *

Bilbo looked at the Amarok who had blocked the troll's attack towards him just moments ago in awe. She was still standing before him protectively but now turned around, looking nothing like she had before. When she had jumped in front of him, she had looked positively murderous and her snarl had sounded so dangerous that it had sent a shiver down his spine. But now she was happily panting as she came towards him and sniffed at him for a second.

"I'm alright" he said hesitantly, guessing that this was what she was checking. "Thank you," he then added genuinely. Tarya just huffed friendly and then walked off towards Kili who was peeling himself out of his bag.

The dwarf looked at her when she arrived by his side, now retrieving his weapons from the floor. "I'd thought you'd run off" he smiled and she grumbled to dismiss this statement. Kili stood still for a moment when she sniffed at his hand, which had gotten scratched when he'd been put into the bag.

He smiled and gently stroked her snout once. "It's okay, just a little scratch." He said and to his surprise, she carefully licked his hand once to seemingly treat the wound. He felt a warm feeling expand in his chest when he realized that she actually cared about his well-being and so his smile grew even brighter.

"Where did you go to, if I may ask?" Thorin asked Gandalf a little further away.

"To look ahead." The wizard answered nonchalantly.

"What brought you back?"

"A call for help caused me to look behind." Gandalf said, smilingly.

Thorin frowned and looked over to his nephew who was rubbing the Amarok's neck. "Her howling?" It was more of a statement than a question but Gandalf nodded nonetheless.

"Nasty business. Still they are all in one piece."

"No thanks to your burglar" Thorin huffed then, looking away from Tarya. He could not deny that she had tried to help them, after all, she had torn apart his bag and if Gandalf hadn't showed up, he would have been able to escape the sack and keep on fighting because of her actions. But the hobbit had hardly been helpful at all; he'd even needed protection from a wolf.

"He had the nous to play for time. None of the rest of you thought of that." Gandalf rebuked him and Thorin reluctantly lowered his gaze in acceptance. He couldn't really deny that the hobbit had gained them some time with his incoherent rambling about dwarf cooking. Still, he was not convinced of the Halfling's qualities.

"They must have come down from the Ettenmoors," the wizard said then, changing the topic of their conversation.

"Since when do mountain trolls venture this far south?" The dwarf-king asked, looking at the stone-trolls himself.

"Oh, not for an age. Not since a darker power ruled these lands." Gandalf replied thoughtfully, looking into the distance for a moment. When he spoke up next, Thorin saw him take a small glance at Tarya and frowned slightly.

"They could not have moved in daylight," Gandalf said.

"There must be a cave nearby" Thorin added for everyone to hear now and motioned his company to start moving to search for it.

Kili started to walk after the others but felt Tarya not following. He turned around, confused, and saw her standing in the clearing, looking back at the stone-trolls, seemingly lost in thought.

Shrugging, he started walking and decided to let her take her time; he knew she'd catch up eventually.

And indeed, once they had found the troll cave, Tarya was by his side again but stopped dead in her tracks behind Kili when he entered the cave. She gave a suffering yelp and made a few steps back.

The young dwarf turned around and grinned at the black wolf. "Not the right place for a delicate nose, huh?" he laughed as she grumblingly walked back towards where Bilbo was standing. The hobbit was not a fan of the stench, either.

* * *

_Tarya watched the dwarfs disappear in the troll cave one after another. She just wrinkled her nose. How could anyone stay in there for more than two seconds? This stench was horrible, even from outside the cave. The only one that seemed to agree with her on that was the hobbit, though, standing beside her and looking out into the woods. He seemed quite distant, she thought. Tarya wondered whether he was still thinking about their encounter with the trolls. He had looked positively terrified then._

_She turned to him and gently nudged his arm. The hobbit looked at her and after a moment, he smiled slightly. "I was just thinking about your intervention back at the camp," he said, "I guess you're much better in defending yourself and others than I am. Which makes me quite a burden to this quest, I suppose."_

_His last words came out as a quiet murmur, probably directed more at himself than her. She pitied the hobbit a bit then. He seemed really disappointed in himself. But there was no reason for that, she thought. He was a hobbit, after all, and hobbits were gentle folk. They were not made for battle and fighting and life in the wild. But he had done well in distracting the trolls and buying them time. He should be proud of himself, she thought, and so she nudged him again and grumbled friendly._

_Bilbo smiled a bit. "I don't know what you're trying to tell me. But thank you for listening." He said and held out his hand to stroke her but as he realized what he was doing, he quickly retrieved his hand._

_She huffed slightly and twitched with one ear. Was he afraid of touching her? Did he think she'd attack him? Well, she thought, maybe he was just respectful enough not to touch her when he didn't know whether she'd actually like it. But she thought there was no harm in letting him pet her once. Kili did it all the time and she didn't mind._

_So she took one step forward and inclined her head so that his hand was grazing it lightly. Bilbo was surprised but his smile grew brighter now and that was enough credit for her. He then gently rubbed down her neck and so they stood there for a moment, enjoying each other's company in silence._

_That was until Gandalf exited the cave after the other dwarves and came towards them. He gave her a pointed look and she understood that he wanted to talk to Bilbo alone for a moment, so she gave them their privacy and jovially walked over to some bushes to lay down there._

* * *

When Kili exited the cave, he was glad to breathe in some fresh air again. The stench in there really was horrible, even for someone with a less delicate nose than a wolf.

But he had found a few arrows that he could use, at least and was now getting to a halt next to Bifur to see what the elder dwarf was inspecting. It didn't take long and Bifur shoved an animal's skull into his hands. Kili could only stare at the dwarf in confusion, holding the thing awkwardly in his right hand.

He looked over to Tarya who was lying a bit further away next to a tree. She was looking at the bushes, both ears pointed in that direction. Then, she suddenly jumped up and made a few steps back towards the company, a small bark-like sound erupting from her throat. A clear warning, Kili now knew.

Obviously, his uncle had read the wolf's behaviour, too, for he swivelled around and shouted at his companions.

"Something's coming!" Thorin yelled.

"Hurry up, arm yourselves!" Gandalf added. "Stay together!"

And that they did. Kili pulled his sword in one swift motion while he quickly walked over to his brother who had already drawn both his swords. Fili sent him a short look when he arrived at his side.

Bilbo was standing before them, shielded by the big black wolf again who had positioned herself between them and the approaching opponent.

"Thieves!" A strong male voice suddenly called out from the woods, "Fire! Murder!" Yelling, the man dashed through the bushes and only on second glance, the dwarves realized that the guy was standing on a huge sleigh that was being pulled by rabbits.

"Radagast!" Gandalf called out, relieved, before anyone would attack the brown wizard, "That is Radagast, the Brown."

Kili remembered Gandalf talking about that wizard, as he put his sword back in its sheath. And he remembered that Tarya had reacted to the name back then, as if she had known him. He looked at her and saw that she had given up her protective stance and was now just standing there, listening to the two wizards talk.

"What on earth are you doing here?" asked Gandalf sceptically.

"I've been looking for you, Gandalf" came the hurried reply. "Something's wrong. Something's… _terribly_… wrong."

"Yes?"

They all waited for an answer but Radagast suddenly seemed confused. "Oh," he mumbled, "oh… I had a thought… but now I've lost it." Gandalf only watched is old friend with increasing incomprehension. "It was right there… on the tip of my tongue!"

And what happened next, Kili would always remember as something most unexpected and most disgusting. "Oh, wait," Radagast said, "it was not a thought at all. It was just a little…" and with that he stuck out his tongue and pulled an insect out of his mouth, "… stick insect. Huh."

Kili exchanged a look with his brother who seemed just as taken aback as him.

"If that's what comes out of his mouth, I don't want to know what else he has stuck up in there." Fili mumbled and Kili couldn't hold back a grin. They were both rewarded with a stern glare from their uncle who had obviously heard them.

Then, Radagast's gaze fell upon the big black wolf standing calmly in their midst and his eyes grew wide. Even wider than they already were. "Gandalf," he said urgently, not looking away from Tarya.

The grey wizard only nodded. "Yes, yes, I am aware."

Radagast's eyes found the dirty bandage around Tarya's paw then and he questioningly looked first at her, then at Gandalf. Kili could see him smile, before he pointed at him and he suddenly found himself being scrutinized by the weird wizard that had bird-poo sticking to his head. He wasn't sure what to think of that.

"Most fascinating," Radagast murmured and Kili could only raise one eyebrow questioningly.

"What is?" he asked, frowning. Radagast merely tilted his head a little, before looking back at Tarya who had made a few steps towards Kili and was now standing in front of him.

"Most fascinating, indeed… I wonder if…" Gandalf clearing his throat interrupted the wizard. Kili didn't get an answer from him. Instead, Radagast turned around and motioned Gandalf to follow him and led him a few metres away from the company to discuss something in private.

"An interesting fellow" Fili said, shaking his head slightly.

"Interesting? More like whimsical." Kili replied, sitting down on a boulder.

* * *

_Tarya didn't know what Radagast had found so fascinating but she had the suspicion that it had something to do with Kili. With Kili and herself. But she could not understand why their friendship – yes, she was considering the dwarf her friend by now – would make the wizard that speechless. Of course, it was unusual but wizards knew the unusual, it was their daily business._

_She tried to focus her concentration and tried to hear what the both wizards were talking about but they were too far for her to hear. And the talking of the dwarves was too noisy. She grumbled a bit and caught an asking look from Kili but he didn't say anything and so she turned around to pay some attention to those rabbits that were still tied to the sleigh._

_She had seen them before and they had fascinated her from the beginning. She'd occasionally seen Radagast dashing through the woods with their aid and she was stunned how fast those rabbits were. She was pretty fast herself if the need occurred but these animals were something else entirely._

_They shuffled uncomfortably when she got close to them._

_"Don't scare his ride away, Tarya" she heard Bofur chuckle to her right. He was inspecting the bunnies as well and she just grinned at him as an answer but didn't go any closer. She didn't want to upset them further._

_Suddenly, she heard a growl coming from further away. Immediately, she directed her attention to that noise. It had been faint but it had definitely been there. Then, there was another one._

_"Was that a wolf?" she heard Bilbo ask and she felt he was looking at her._

_She snarled lowly, looking around alarmed, some of the dwarves were looking at her now; others were peeking into the bushes._

_"Wolf? No… That is not a wolf" Bofur replied worriedly and she growled in agreement. She knew exactly what that was. And it was with absolute certainty not a wolf._

_Then, the growl was clear and loud for everyone to hear and as she swivelled around, she saw a massive warg running down the little hill into the clearing they were standing on. Without hesitation, she jumped and cut it off before it could get to Thorin and Dwalin who had obviously been the goal._

_It tried to get its teeth into her but she was faster, ducking to the right so that it missed her and so that she had free access to its now exposed throat. She didn't wait and moved forward, piling her teeth into the warg's flesh with absolute precision. It was dead within seconds._

_Suddenly, there was another growl coming from the other side of the clearing and she could only turn around in time to see another warg charging towards their leader from behind. But before it reached him, an arrow buried itself in its head and as it fell down, Dwalin slashed it with his axe._

_Tarya looked over to Thorin who thankfully looked at her for a second before he looked down on the creature to his feet._

_"Warg-scouts," he said, "which means an orc pack is not far behind."_

_"O-orc pack?" Bilbo stuttered disbelievingly._

_Tarya could only snarl angrily. If there was something in this world that she hated more than wargs, it were their riders._

_She only listened with half an ear to what Gandalf said to Thorin then, still concentrating on her surroundings to make sure there was no more warg in immediate proximity. It was only the wizard's last words that sunk into her consciousness like a burning iron. Words that triggered both anger and fear in her heart._

_"You are being hunted."_


	10. Hunter and prey

**Sooo, I've had my second day of internship today and weeew, I like being all adult-job-earning-money-doing-stuff-like :D**

**And I have enough time now to give you guys a new chapter - which I hope you'll like and if you do, or also if you don't, review! :D**

**_Beloved Daughter_****: Thank you! I was a bit worried that I might disappoint some of the readers with not giving out daily updates anymore but it's just not physically possible, really. So it's really nice to see that you're so understanding, thanks :3 And yeah, always these wizards with their background information about things... :D You'll find out what is going on eventually, though :D**

**_Chilled Souls of the Forgotten_****: Is Radagast a pokémon now? Although he does remind me of psyduck a tiny bit now that I think about it... Well, anyway :D Thank you for understanding the whole internship-no-daily-posting-thing and of course for not wanting me to become a hobo xD It's alway nice to hear that :D**

**Well, so, now I'm done and the next chapter will probably be up on either Friday or Saturday, I'll see what fits better.**

**Enjoy!**

* * *

Kili was looking at Tarya who was still concentrating on any suspicious noises coming out of the woods. She seemed different now than she had before even with the trolls and he didn't know exactly what had triggered it. He had been quite shocked to see Tarya rip apart that warg so easily, if he was honest. But he couldn't deny that he was impressed, too. He had not really thought about how much harm she was really able to do with her teeth and her paws.

Now was not the time to revel in these thoughts, though. There were other matters that had more urgency and at the moment, Kili was just happy that the Amarok was on their side. Without her, he did not want to know whether that warg would have gotten to his uncle or not.

"We have to get out of here!" Dwalin said urgently.

"We can't! We have no ponies! They have bolted!" Ori replied desperately and Kili felt a bit of dread creeping up in his stomach but he tried to suppress it.

"I will draw them off," Radagast offered then and they all sent him incredulous looks. The brown wizard seemed unimpressed by it.

"Those are Gundabad-Wargs," Gandalf said, "they'll outrun you."

Kili saw a grin spreading on the brown wizard's face. "These are Rhosgobel-Rabbits," he said, "I'd like to see them try."

The guy was crazy, Kili thought.

But with that, Radagast dashed through the bushes out into the lowlands. They waited a few moments and only when they saw that the orcs were chasing after the rabbit-sleigh, they emerged from their hiding spot and started to run across the field.

When they made it to the first big rock, they stopped and gathered to hide behind it. Kili looked around and saw Tarya standing in the back next to Ori, panting and looking around attentively. Then, they heard Radagast flash by and quickly moved on, running towards the next boulder.

That was until Thorin stopped dead in his tracks for a few painful seconds, seeing the wizard and the orcs crossing the land right in front of them. He looked on, shocked, but realized that they had not seen them yet and so he turned and ran after his companions and Gandalf in another direction. The wizard led them to another rock and the dwarf-king could only just grab young Ori by the collar in order to stop him from running further and getting seen by their hunters.

Thorin took a moment to look at his company then. They all looked worried, some scared. The hobbit looked positively terrified and he couldn't blame him for that. For a second, he crossed eyes with the Amarok. He didn't know if he should be surprised that she was still with them but he was. She obviously really saw herself as a member of his company and would stick with them even if times got a tad harsher. And after all, she had been quite helpful already if he thought back to just moments ago when she'd risked her life to save his from a warg-attack. There was more to be seen in that Amarok than he had thought, maybe even more than he had hoped.

"Come on!" Gandalf said then and motioned them to move ahead, ripping Thorin from his thoughts.

"Where are you leading us?" he asked but he didn't get an answer. Instead, they all hurried along the rocky landscape again, hoping not to get seen.

But arriving at their next boulder, there was suddenly a growl coming from top of it. They were all gathered at the bottom, trying not to move, not to breathe too loud. Thorin looked up cautiously and saw an orc astride on a warg, standing above them. Silently, he caught his youngest nephews gaze and motioned him to use his bow.

Kili took a deep breath before he quickly and noiselessly pulled an arrow from his quiver. Then he stepped forward while he simultaneously put the arrow in position and fired it off. It hit the warg in the chest and before the orc could sound his horn, Kili had shot a second arrow that hit the beast right in the shoulder. Warg and orc fell down the rock but – to everyone's horror – not as noiselessly as they had hoped.

The warg howled in pain and rage when it was killed by Thorin's axe and the orc kept screeching until the bitter end when Gloin buried his sword in his head.

They all knew that this had been too loud. Loud enough for every orc to hear and indeed, as they turned around, they saw the pack coming towards them in the distance.

"Move!" Gandalf urged, "_RUN_!"

And run they did.

* * *

_Tarya saw the wargs coming at them. She couldn't help her fur ruffling up. Those were a lot of orcs and a lot of wargs that were heading towards them and she could only growl in frustration when she turned around and ran after the companions._

_She felt like they had no idea where they were going but it didn't really matter just a second later because suddenly there were also orcs coming towards them from the other side. They were surrounded._

_"There they are!" Dwalin shouted._

_"This way!" Gandalf called out. "Quickly!"_

_Tarya ran behind Kili but it was to no avail. There were orcs coming from each side. Worriedly, she looked back and saw them approaching quickly._

_"There's more coming!" Kili shouted to his uncle and Tarya caught the worried look on Thorin's face but that look was replaced with a fierce expression just a second later._

_"Kili!" The dwarf-king shouted over the noise of the approaching enemies. "Shoot them!"_

_The brunette dwarf immediately followed his uncle's order and fired an arrow at an approaching orc, hitting him right in the chest. Another arrow found its way into the warg's head just a second after._

_"We're surrounded!" Tarya heard someone call out and she was quite sure it had been Fili. But she didn't have time to turn around and check for a warg without rider was charging towards her from the left, all of a sudden. With a loud snarl, she dodged its attack and buried her teeth in its hind leg. The warg fell but before she could finish it, an arrow flew past her and buried itself in the back of the warg's head._

_She looked up to meet Kili's gaze. "You're welcome!" he shouted but it didn't sound as cheeky as usual and the smile had completely disappeared from his features by now. She just made a little bark to thank him before she took off, running through the fighting dwarves towards Ori who had trouble holding off an orc with his slingshot._

_The orc was raising its sword now, laughing derisively, and when Tarya was only about two meters away from them, she couldn't hesitate any longer, so she jumped and ripped the orc right off its mount._

_It was dead the second it hit the floor._

_The warg itself had now lost interest in Ori but focused on the one that had killed its rider. Tarya turned around and looked at the creature challengingly._

_The warg snarled deeply and Tarya understood exactly what it was telling her with this._

_'You are going to die, wolf-scum.'_

_She just bared her teeth threateningly and growled at the beast. 'Try.'_

_Out of the corner of her eye, she saw that Ori had successfully retreated from the warg's side and was now further back with the rest of the dwarves._

_"Where's Gandalf?" she heard someone shout, when the warg suddenly attacked her. She managed to dodge it but this one was fast, she realized. A bit too fast for her taste. So she turned around and ran towards a near boulder. The warg was on her heels immediately. When she had almost reached the big rock, she took a sharp turn to the right, slithering on the dry floor. The warg didn't have enough time to react. It ran straight into the rock, smashing its head in in the process._

_Tarya didn't waste any more time there, though, but ran straight back to where the dwarfs were._

_Coming closer, she saw that most of them had disappeared and she only realized on second look that Thorin was standing on a boulder, waiting for the rest of his companions to jump down into a cave._

_It was then, when she heard him call out frantically._

_"Kili! RUN!"_

_Tarya looked around, spotting her brunette friend firing another arrow at a warg before turning around and running towards his uncle. She approached him from the left but diverted her direction when she saw another orc coming far too close to him from behind._

_The warg that was carrying the orc was growling in anticipation. It couldn't wait to bury its teeth in Kili - Tarya could feel it._

_But that wouldn't happen if she had a word to say in the matter._

* * *

Kili could feel the warg's hot breath in his neck as he ran. His legs hurt and he was out of breath but he forced himself to keep on running. He just had to reach his uncle, which was all he was focusing on right now.

He forced himself to an even faster pace when he heard the growl of the beast behind him. He was far too close to it and the boulder his uncle was standing on seemed still so far away. He didn't even hear Thorin's calls anymore; the noise of the blood whooshing in his ears was too loud. He could only see his uncle's lips moving.

Kili felt a flush of hot breath in his neck again, this time he was sure that he'd be ripped apart and that he would die here, being eaten by a warg. That was not really the way he wanted things to end. Actually, he didn't want things to end at all.

But then, all at once, there was another growl, sounding a bit lighter than the one's from the wargs but equally as threatening. Maybe even more, Kili thought, but he didn't know if he was only making that up now in the heat of the moment. He didn't dare to turn and look when he heard a loud yelp and a thud. The snarling continued when he finally reached his uncle.

He tried to turn around and look out for his Amarok friend but the only thing he could see was a mass of black fur wriggling in the dry brown grass over something before Thorin pushed him down into the cave where the others were.

He was welcomed with a tight embrace from Fili and he closed his eyes for a moment to regain some power. His breath came in big gasps.

Suddenly, there was a loud yelp followed by an afflicted whining. Kili's head jerked up and he looked up to the cave entrance with big eyes.

In that moment, his uncle slid down into the cave and met Kili's gaze when he looked up. Thorin sighed deeply and hesitantly shook his head at him.

Kili felt his heart sink.

He couldn't believe it.

This could not be true.

He only twitched slightly when a dead orc fell down into their midst. Thorin pulled an arrow out of its neck and inspected it. "Elves," he spat.

"I cannot see where the pathway leads!" Dwalin called out to them from a little further ahead. "Do we follow it or not?"

"Follow it, of course!" Bofur replied quickly and moved ahead. After a short moment of hesitation, the rest of them followed.

"I think that would be wise," Gandalf murmured, looking at Kili who was still staring up to the cave entrance in disbelief. The wizard sighed slightly before turning around and following the pathway.

"Come on, brother," Fili said softly, waiting for his little brother to break away from his spot. "There's nothing you can do."

Kili hesitantly turned around and when he met Fili's eyes, the blonde one saw an expression on his brother's face that he had never seen before in this way.

Kili looked broken-hearted and absolutely miserable.

Fili didn't know what to say so he simply put an arm around Kili's shoulders as they followed the others down the cave.

Kili didn't speak for the entire way.


	11. Lost and found

**Hello, again!**

**Sorry that took so long, I know I've left you with a rather nasty cliffhanger... (mwaha :D) But as promised, the next chapter is here today and I hope you forgive me for the last one :D**

**I was really happy about all your reviews though, even if you all didn't quite like how the last chapter ended, I loved to see your reactions! :D**

**Keep them coming! And enjoy the new chapter!**

* * *

_The only thing she could see was darkness._

_Though, seeing it was not quite right. She rather felt it. The darkness. As if it was put over her like a blanket. She was completely surrounded by it, sinking, slowly getting swallowed by it and there was nothing she could do._

_There was this little part of her mind that was still functioning and trying to fight itself through the blur that had invaded her head. Trying to tell her that she had to open her eyes and to move but to no avail._

_She was afraid. And she felt like she was slowly becoming weaker, losing her will to fight the thick blackness off. It was as if she was caught in a cobweb. She was stuck._

_Tarya knew she was still alive, though. Well, yet. That fact itself was quite surprising. That cursed orc blade had hit her right in the flank if she remembered right._

_She was breathing. A fact that could easily be proven by the sharp pain that ripped through her every few moments, bringing air into her lungs. Come to think of it, that orc blade might still be stuck in her body, she thought, which could be an explanation for the pain, too. That was a rather unpleasant thought._

_But there was something else not right. Something apart from having been hit by an orcish blade and lying half-dead on the dusty ground._

_She felt like she was not alone in this darkness that clouded her mind._

_And soon enough, the whispering started._

* * *

Elrond put his sword back in its sheath while looking around the land. He wondered what had driven these orcs so close to Imladris. It was highly unusual.

"Father!"

He raised his head and looked over to his eldest son, Elladan, who was sitting on his horse about a hundred metres away. He was pointing to something.

"Over here!" Elladan called and the Elf Lord rode over to him quickly. When he arrived at his son's side, his eyes widened in surprise.

"Still breathing," Elladan said, dismounting his horse to kneel down beside the figure that was lying on the ground next to a dead warg and an orc that had an elfish arrow coming out of his head. "It is not a warg."

Elrond nodded while his gaze studied the big black wolf. Could it be possible…? But if this truly was what he thought it to be, then what was it doing here? Had it been fighting the orcs? Had it been captive, maybe? He didn't know what to think of what he was seeing.

That was until his eyes found a distinct mark around the wolve's right paw.

And then he knew what had driven the wolf.

But now he was even less sure of what this scene that was set before him actually meant.

"We will take it to our healing chambers. Alatáriël will know how to tend to the wounds." Lord Elrond said and his son simply nodded, not knowing why his father wanted to get a wolf treated in their chambers. But he obeyed to his wishes nonetheless.

Elrond watched then as Elladan cautiously removed the blade that was half sticking to the wolf's side and took off his cloak and wrapped it around it to keep the bleeding in check.

Elladan then lifted the animal onto his arms and turned around to his father, looking at him questioningly.

"You will ride with her on your horse," Elrond said, after a moment of thought. "Be careful."

Elladan didn't know why he had referred to the wolf as 'her'.

* * *

Kili was walking down a narrow path into the valley of Imladris behind Bilbo. The hobbit's face had an expression of pure awe and amazement on it but Kili couldn't simulate the feeling. He hadn't really been paying attention to their whole surroundings for quite a while now. Ever since he had followed Fili out of the cave everything just sort of flew by him.

He hadn't seen the beauty of the place they had arrived in. And he didn't care, either. He couldn't foster one nice thought, all he could think about was how Tarya had been killed.

He couldn't stop the horrible images that had by now formed in his head. He saw his animal friend die in various ways.

She had been killed by a blasted orc or warg while she had been trying to help him. She'd protected him. If it hadn't been for him, she wouldn't have stayed back to fight off his persecutors. It was his entire fault. He'd just been too slow.

If he could just have –

"Stop thinking about it," Fili said quietly from behind him and ripped him out of his train of thoughts.

"I can't," Kili answered honestly without turning around.

"It was not your fault," Fili continued, ignoring his brother's mocking huff to his statement. "It was her decision to stay behind."

"Yes, she was trying to protect me," the brunette dwarf muttered, guiltily.

"Yes, because she was… your friend. She was your friend, Kili, and she wouldn't want you to think the way you do now." Fili had always been sceptic of his brother's ways with animals but this time, he was sure that he knew what had been going on in an animal's mind for once. And Tarya was more than a simple animal. She had been smart, brave, friendly and Mahal, she had even been funny. And she had been Kili's friend, without a doubt.

Fili had come to care about the Amarok as well and he had certainly been amazed by the relationship and understanding that had built up between her and his brother.

But as brutal as the phrase 'life goes on' might be, it was the truth.

Kili didn't answer his statement and Fili didn't want to push him to it. He would just need time, he guessed.

They eventually crossed a slender bridge and arrived on a platform before the entrance to the Last Homely House west of the Mountains.

A brown-haired elf came towards them.

"Mithrandir," he called out to Gandalf, amiably. Kili wanted to stop listening right there and then and just go somewhere and be alone.

But he couldn't do that, so he listened with half an ear to Gandalf's conversation with the elf that lead to the conclusion that apparently, Lord Elrond wasn't there. Whoever that fellow was.

"Not here? Where is he?" Gandalf asked and got answered by a horn that sounded in the distance. Kili was ripped out of his mind-numbness for a moment, then, as the clopping of hooves filled the air and as the dwarves turned around, they saw an elfish hunting party coming their way.

"Close ranks!" Thorin ordered immediately and everyone did as they were told, pulling their swords and axes from their sheaths and Bilbo Baggins into the safety of the circle they had formed.

The elves surrounded them on their horses, looking down on them. Kili couldn't decipher what they were thinking, if they looked hostile or neutral. But then again, he couldn't really bring himself to care.

"Gandalf!" A tall elf with brown hair called, smiling at the wizard.

"Lord Elrond," Gandalf smiled.

There was obviously no danger coming from these elves, Kili thought, at least it didn't seem like it. The wizard and the elf talked in Sindarin for a moment and some of the dwarves grumbled disapprovingly.

As Lord Elrond dismounted his horse, he made a few steps towards Gandalf to greet him.

"Strange for orcs to come this close to our borders. Something – or _someone_ – has drawn them near…" Elrond said with a pointed look at the company and his old friend.

"Ah, that may have been us," Gandalf replied sheepishly.

Elrond just smiled slightly and then walked back past the company to another rider. The dwarves watched him warily when he stopped beside another brown-haired elf.

"Take her straight to Alatáriël, Elladan" He said and his expression was now worried.

"A good thing that we arrived in time, otherwise she might not have made it to the healing chambers." Elrond then said to them, "She was travelling with you, I take it?"

Now he had the whole company's attention for none of them had a clue what the Elf Lord was talking about.

But as they looked over at him, they saw him lift a figure from Elladan's horse so that he could dismount without it falling off.

Thorin's eyes widened when he saw the black wolf now lying unconsciously in Elladan's arms after Elrond had given it to him.

The young elf quickly carried her into the house then, obviously aiming for the healing chambers.

Thorin threw a quick look at Gandalf when Lord Elrond sent him an inquisitive look.

"Or am I mistaken?"

Thorin could only shake his head before regaining his voice.

And then Thorin saw something flash in the wizard's eyes, as he looked at the wolf that was being carried away, something that he had seen before when he had looked at Tarya. It was fascination and something like jovial amazement. Thorin had somewhat become used to that look since the wizard always had it ever since the moment he had first set eyes on Tarya and whenever he had watched her around the group or Kili.

But the expression in the wizard's eyes was even stronger now and there was something else in these bright blue eyes, too, but the dwarf-king couldn't decipher it.

"No, you are not," he managed to say then, catching Elrond's attention. "She was travelling with us. We had thought her lost."

The dwarf-king heard quiet, agitated murmuring behind him but he didn't react to it. He didn't need to turn around to his nephew to know the look on his face. But they would have enough time for that later.

"You are travelling with an Amarok then, Thorin, son of Thrain."


	12. Tarya

**Sooo, here comes the next chapter. And I'm really curious to your reactions to this one :D**

**And of course, I wouldn't kill Tarya off just this soon. That would be really mean towards Kili and also, there's still a lot for her to experience :D**

**Beloved Daughter: Yes, I would think that carrying Tarya wasn't as easy as it may have seemed in the last chapter... But hey, Elves are creative :D**

**Thank you guys so much for your reviews! And also for the favorites and follows! Seriously, it motivates me so much and gnahh, I wouldn't even have thought that this story would get so much interest in the first place :D**

**Anyway, enjoy this chapter aaaand let me know what you think... (mwaha. :D)**

* * *

Kili couldn't believe what had happened. He had been more than just shocked to see Tarya being carried in by these Elves but he couldn't help but be incredibly thankful. She was still alive. He had not lost her and this fact had made is heart flutter in joy.

He hadn't even listened with half an ear when the Elf Lord had started to talk to his uncle; his thoughts were with Tarya, and Tarya only. Eventually, they had been led into the Elves' halls and to a room where they could place their belongings before they were invited to supper.

Kili was starving but he couldn't think of eating anything now.

"I want to see Tarya first" he said, causing Thorin to turn around and face him when the Elf had left the dwarves' room.

"I'm sure there will be time to do that after dinner," Thorin said, "She is not conscious at the moment, anyway."

Kili shook his head. "You don't understand," he said and the dwarf-king really didn't. Kili _needed_ to see her. He couldn't think of anything but the Amarok at the moment and he wouldn't have a quiet moment before he could convince himself that she was all right.

"I _must_ see her" Kili said determined and his uncle hesitated for a moment, thinking.

Thorin looked at his nephew thoughtfully. He knew that Kili had a special relationship with the Amarok and he now saw just how strongly his nephew felt for that wolf. But he couldn't deny that he wanted to know whether she was all right, too. She had fought for them, after all. Giving her life – so he had thought – to keep them safe. He wanted to see her, too, he realized and as he looked at his companions, he saw that they all had the same thoughts.

Tarya had really made her way into their hearts.

So he sighed quietly and nodded. "We will go see her."

"I would deem that wise," Gandalf said from his spot at the door, looking at Kili intently. The young dwarf didn't realize it but Thorin saw and he wondered what it meant.

An Elf led them to the healing chambers, then, and as they entered they saw that only one bed was occupied. Tarya lying on it, her injured flank facing to the ceiling. A blonde Elf woman who probably was the healer, Alatáriël, was standing next to the bed.

Kili made a few steps towards the bed immediately, coming to stand next to Tarya and leaving his companions to gather around the bed.

She looked miserable, he thought. Here eyes were closed, her breathing ragged and her beautiful black fur covered in dried blood. Kili felt a lump build in his throat when he looked at her and he felt someone put a hand on his shoulder. He could only imagine it to be Fili.

"Welcome," the tall elf woman said then, catching their attention. She was looking at them, a little bowl in her hands and a gentle smile on her face. "You must be the company of Thorin Oakenshield, then."

Thorin nodded at her and Gandalf smiled friendly. "Indeed, I am Gandalf. Good evening," the wizard said, "We have come to visit our friend."

The Elf stayed quiet for a moment, looking at the wolf on the bed, the flank of which she had applied her ointment to a few minutes before. She looked back up then and saw that they were all looking at her, except one who was not letting the wolf out of his sight.

"I am Alatáriël", she smiled, "and it is a pleasure to have you in our halls, then."

"How is she?" Kili interrupted, before anyone could actually answer the Elf. She gave him an interested look.

"The wound will need some time to heal properly but physically, she will be fine. This is a strong wolf," she said.

"What do you mean she will be fine physically?" Fili asked, looking at Tarya worriedly. "Is there something else wrong?"

"Well," Alatáriël said and looked at the wizard for a second before looking back at the blonde dwarf. "She seems troubled. She could have woken up by now, considering her strength and the effect of the ointment."

Gandalf hummed his understanding, observing the wolf thoughtfully.

Kili walked up to Tarya and watched her carefully. He frowned when his gaze fell upon her right foreleg. There was a part of bright grey fur reaching around it like bracelet where before the fur had been black as the night. Kili was sure of that.

"We should go to dinner," Gandalf then said slowly before Kili could ask what was going on. Thorin agreed since there was nothing more they could do here, as Tarya was unconscious and as it looked, she would stay like this for a while.

"Come, Kili," his uncle said and the young dwarf hesitantly looked up to meet his gaze. "She is fine and in good hands. You have to regain some energy yourself, nephew."

Kili sighed and eventually nodded. Thorin was right. He would simply come back to Tarya after dinner to look after her. So he walked out of the room after the others, leaving his friend alone with the elven healer.

* * *

_Tarya felt like she was flying and drowning at the same time._

_It was a horrible feeling. It made her sick and she just wanted it to stop. She didn't know how long she had been unconscious. Although, she wasn't completely sure that she actually was, it rather felt like she was awake but something – or someone – was keeping her from opening her eyes._

_The whispering hadn't stopped, it came to her from time to time, echoing through her head but she couldn't make out the words that were being said. And she didn't want to because she was sure that if she would give in to the voice, she wouldn't be able to ever open her eyes again. It was pure instinct that told her to ignore it and not let it get deeper._

_But that was difficult because the voice became louder and more demanding every time it came back. And Tarya felt weaker each time. Eventually, she wasn't strong enough anymore to hold it out of her thoughts. It was agitating her and something about it made her want to snarl and bite and just rip something apart. She felt herself become angry when the whispering was near and then the feeling suddenly ceased when the voice disappeared for another moment._

* * *

"I cannot help but wonder how you made the acquaintance of an Amarok," Elrond muttered towards Gandalf, after having explained the origin of Thorin's and Gandalf's sword to the both of them and found out that they had been travelling the Great East road.

"Oh, it was a rather curious twist of fate, one could say." Gandalf answered and Elrond could only raise an eyebrow at his old friend. Thorin was listening quietly, hoping to finally understand what had the wizard so intrigued about Tarya. He had seen the look on his face and it had changed since he had seen the Amarok this evening.

"Rather curious, indeed." Elrond said, "It seems, she has already committed herself to someone."

Gandalf merely hummed thoughtfully, looking down the table to where Kili was talking to his brother and Bofur. Thorin followed his gaze and frowned deeply. He then looked at the elf questioningly. "What do you mean by that?" he asked and Elrond looked at him with a slight smile around his lips.

"I have noticed a ring of fair fur around her foreleg." Elrond said, "Legend says that Amarok can commit themselves to someone when they decide that their life is worthy of their own."

Thorin's frown deepened as he looked across the table at Gandalf. The wizard was studying him with a look that was difficult to decipher. As were basically all his looks, Thorin realized. He never actually knew what the wizard was thinking.

"So, Tarya committed herself to Kili when she saved his life?" Thorin asked lowly, looking over at his nephew for a moment. Kili was oblivious to their conversation as were the rest of the company. Only Balin was silently listening to them.

Gandalf nodded and Elrond looked over at the mentioned young dwarf in interest. "And what happens when they commit themselves to someone?" Thorin asked then. He was met with silence for a moment while Gandalf and Elrond looked at each other.

"I cannot tell for I have never seen it happen," Gandalf said.

* * *

_Tarya couldn't hold the whispering voice out of her thoughts anymore. It was there and it was lulling her into a maze of hatred._

_It urged her to hate. To hate the people who had hunted her ancestors down, the people who were still trying to catch her whenever they realized what she was. It wanted her to understand just how unfair the people of Middle-Earth had treated her kin, still did._

_She saw images in her head, horrible ones. Amaroks being hunted, cries, whines, caves, blood. Death._

_'You could stop this…', she heard the voice say. 'We could avenge the injustice that has been brought upon your kin.'_

_Tarya couldn't deny that she was feeling a deep rage rumbling within her. It was true. Amarok had been treated badly, outrageously unfair and they had done nothing to deserve such treatment. And it was not right that they had to hide from the world in order to keep safe. They should be able to live in peace. And maybe, they would have to fight for this right._

_'You know I am right. But you cannot win this fight on your own.' Tarya heard the voice echo through her head, it sounded strangely pleased. 'Accept my help. Let me guide you.'_

_She wasn't sure what do to. The voice sounded calm and reasonable. But Tarya felt uneasy about it. This wasn't right. This coldn't be right. She didn't feel like this, she had never been an angry Amarok. It was the voice, she realized, that made her feel like this. It wasn't trying to help her in any way; it was trying to posses her._

_She snarled. She would not be fooled so easily and only over her dead body would someone so hateful rule her._

* * *

Kili had left the company after dinner and was now heading back towards the healing chambers. While the others were having their little after-dinner with their own food and particularly meat, he couldn't think of chatting with them now. He had not eaten much during dinner but he didn't feel very hungry anymore. He just wanted to be with Tarya and make sure she was all right.

As he entered the room, the elven healer was nowhere to be seen. It was quite dark inside and he could only see Tarya's silhouette still lying on the same bed as before in the same position.

He walked over to the bed and sighed deeply when he saw his animal friend breathing heavily. Her wound seemed to heal very quickly, though, he observed happily. Silently, he searched for something he could sit on and watch her and after a few seconds, he found a chair and dragged it to the side of the bed. He let himself fall onto the chair heavily.

Kili let his gaze wander over the wolf's body. The wound on her flank seemed considerably smaller and the dwarf wondered if that had to do with her being an Amarok. Maybe their wounds healed faster than normal? Kili didn't know.

He still couldn't believe that she had made it out of the whole affair alive. Kili had thought her dead and he couldn't help the warm feeling that spread through him ever since he had learned that she wasn't. He couldn't explain it. He had been devastated and now he could have screamed in joy. This Amarok, Tarya, had a place in his heart he knew that by now. He just hadn't thought that it was such a big one.

He leaned forward with a silent sigh.

"Don't scare me like that again, do you hear me?" he said to the sleeping wolf. "No more protecting me from now on."

Tarya snarled suddenly and Kili twitched a little. He looked at her but her eyes were still closed. Tentatively he reached out to stroke her head.

"I don't know what haunts you but you're safe here, Tarya. You're alive and you're here. With me." He said, caressing her fur tenderly. "We made it," He smiled.

She didn't really react to him, if only she relaxed a bit. Kili stayed with her for a long time and eventually, he fell asleep beside the bed.

* * *

_Tarya had thought she'd heard a familiar voice. It was a deep, sweet baritone that she would have identified as Kili's voice between a thousand others. She couldn't make out what he was saying. But he was here. He was near her, which meant that he was alive. And it meant that she was alive, too. And that she could get rid of the hateful voice in her mind to reach outside. To reach Kili._

_And then, suddenly, there was another voice._

_A mild voice that shone through the darkness that still surrounded her like a bright light._

_'Ùlfur', it said, 'Vertu hughraustur, lìtill ùlfur!'_

_Tarya couldn't place the owner of the voice but it sounded strangely familiar. And it gave her back the hope she needed. So she tried again to fight herself out of the darkness, she concentrated, taking it as it was; a black mass that she had to reach through. She tried to shove it away with only her mind. And surprisingly, it worked._

_She could feel the weight of it lifting a bit and her mind cleared. The whispering became quieter. Breathing became easier._

_'Vænn' said the female voice in her head gently._

_The voice echoed clearly through her mind. It was so near and yet it felt like it was coming from very far away. But Tarya felt how her strength slowly came back to her._

_So she took a deep breath and then she could suddenly feel an extreme warmth beginning to spread in her body, originating in her chest._

_'Munu ljòs' the voice rang through her mind one last time, sounding mild and friendly, before it disappeared._

_Tarya felt the warmth spreading further through her belly, down her legs and arms. It made her body tickle but it didn't feel bad._

_She opened her eyes._

_And there he was. Kili. Fast asleep on a chair beside the bed she was apparently lying on. A big smile grew on her face and she sat up._

_She tried to get off the bed and to wake him but as she did so, something caught her sight. She was propping herself up on the edge of the mattress but as she lowered her gaze to her paws, her breath hitched in hear throat._

_That was... There were –_

_A piercing shriek erupted from her throat as she lost her balance and fell to the ground with a loud thump._

* * *

Kili opened his eyes and jumped up in shock after hearing someone scream in horror and immediately reached out to grab is sword, which wasn't attached to his side he realized with frustration.

He looked over to Tarya's bed, which was empty and he already felt the dread climb up his stomach when he heard a muffled groan from the floor before him.

Kili looked down and his mouth opened in confusion and speechlessness. A familiar pair of golden eyes stared up at him, shocked and fearful.

He had never seen an expression like this in these eyes. But there was another rather significant difference. The eyes now belonged to a small woman with black hair.

Both woman and dwarf stared at each other in shock for several moments. Kili didn't know what to say. He didn't know what was going on. He didn't know who that girl was. Although he had a sneaking suspicion. But that couldn't be true. It was impossible.

The woman lying on the floor, staring up at him out of a pile of blankets that she had apparently dragged along when she'd fallen to the floor, could not be – Kili couldn't even finish the thought.

"Wha…" he stuttered helplessly, trying to make sense of what was happening. There was only one way to find out, he thought. So he braced himself. He closed his eyes for a moment, taking a deep breath.

When he reopened his eyes, the girl had scrambled to the edge of the bed, leaning against it, her knees held firmly to her body. She looked at her arms in sheer horror, her eyes as big as plates.

"Tarya?" Kili asked carefully and her gaze immediately shot up to him. She made a helpless noise, a sort of whimper. And then she nodded.

"By Mahal," Kili breathed.

* * *

**A little explanation of the foreign language in Tarya's head:**

_****__Ùlfur - Wolf_

_****____Vertu hughraustur, lìtill ùlfur! - Be brave, little wolf!_

_****______Vænn - Good_

_****________Munu ljòs - Become light_


	13. Little wolf girl

**I'm back with another chapter! Yay!**

**_Beloved Daughter_****: Haha :D Ah, yes, the commitment... That's a little something that will have some important consequences :D**

_**Lucia123: **_**Ohh, I don't wanna mess with someone whose weapon of choice is a spatula, so here's the new chapter! Although, I'll be on guard with my rolling pin in case I need to defend myself :D**

_**Chilled Souls of the Forgotten:**_** This will definitely complicate things, yes. But hey, everyone needs a little challenge sometimes, besides fighting orcs and goblins and running for their lives, right? :D**

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**And now I'll shut up and just leave you with the chapter :D**

* * *

_Tarya was shocked. No, shocked wasn't even close to what she was. She was horrified. What in the Gods' names had happened?!_

_She had hands and fingers and… and her fur was gone! What was going on? What had happened to her? She didn't want this; she wanted it to get undone. She felt awfully weird and naked._

_After a seemingly never-ending moment, she realized that she actually was naked, talking in human standards. Her eyes widened just a bit further. Thankfully, she had those blankets around her; otherwise she didn't know what she would have done._

_Kili was still standing before her, looking down on her. He seemed just as shocked as she was. And understandably so. But at least he had recognized her. Although, she wasn't sure how he'd managed to do that. She didn't know how she looked at the moment and she wasn't sure she actually wanted to find out._

_She could only let out another small whimper when she looked at her hands. What was she supposed to do with a human body? This was ridiculous._

_Suddenly, Kili crouched down so that they were on the same eye-level. She suddenly felt really small. He watched her hesitantly, seemingly not knowing what exactly he should do. Tarya looked him in the eyes and felt herself relax just a tiny bit. She concentrated on the young dwarf, for he was the only thing that was familiar at the moment._

_"It's… it's all right," he stuttered. He didn't sound like it was all right, Tarya thought, and it wasn't. Everything was terribly wrong. Kili came just a little bit closer then, taking a deep breath before reaching out his hand towards her._

_Tarya looked at his hand, then back into his dark brown eyes. She didn't know what he wanted from her but as he stretched out his palm a bit further towards her, she realized what he was trying to do._

_It was the same gesture he had produced when they had first met. He had reached out his hand for her then to put her paw inside it. It had been a sign of trust, she thought. And she still trusted Kili, probably more than anyone else she knew. So she tentatively reached out her own hand – it was weird to see the limb move and knowing that it belonged to her own body despite the ridiculousness of it all – and laid it into the palm of the brunette dwarf._

_Kili smiled slightly, closing his hand around hers. "It will be fine, Tarya," he mumbled reassuringly, "We'll just… We'll have to figure out what happened."_

* * *

Kili didn't know where he was taking the courage to tell her those things. He was sounding far more certain than he actually felt.

But he just couldn't stand the look on the woman's face. She looked so terribly frightened and he didn't want Tarya to feel like this whether she was animal or human. It was weird, though, holding her hand in his and knowing that this girl had been a wolf just a few minutes ago.

She seemed nothing like the brave big wolf now. She was small, probably even smaller than him, he realized and she was afraid. She had never seemed afraid as a wolf, Kili thought.

Suddenly, the door was pushed open loudly and Kili looked up to see his uncle enter the room. Behind him were Fili and Dwalin and behind them yet were the grey wizard and Bilbo Baggins who had let his curiosity get the better of him when they had heard the horrified scream echo through the corridors.

Kili felt Tarya stiffen and she abruptly retreated her hand to bury it in the mass of blankets she was now digging herself into. It was as if she wanted to hide. She looked around the corner of the bed tentatively towards the other members of the company.

"What happened?" Fili asked, looking at his brother questioningly, "We heard someone scream."

"Yes, well… That would have been her…" Kili said slowly, inclining his head towards Tarya whom he was still kneeling before. He felt like he was sort of shielding her from the others views and that might not even be such a bad thing considering her current state.

"Who?" Fili asked and made a few steps forward. Tarya shrank in her spot.

Kili glanced at her and then cleared his throat awkwardly. "Tarya."

This time it was Gandalf who made a few steps forward, peeking around the bed. Tarya looked back at the wizard out of big golden eyes. "By my beard," the wizard breathed, "Tarya!"

Kili could see her tense up when the others caught up and were now gathering around her. Their looks spoke of sheer disbelief and incomprehension.

Surprisingly, Bilbo was the first to regain his voice. "That is… T-Tarya? But she… she's – how is that possible?"

Gandalf stayed quiet and it was Thorin who answered the hobbit in his deep baritone voice slowly. "Commitment," he said, looking over at the wizard, "Is this what it looks like, then?"

"One would think so," Gandalf replied thoughtfully, although he wasn't sure himself what to think of the whole affair.

"There is no way this is possible. Tarya is a wolf – an Amarok – and not a little girl!" Dwalin interfered loudly and incredulously.

"Of course it is her," Fili said, gaining everyone's attention with the softness of his voice, even Tarya's. He was looking at her with a little calming smile and trying his best not to scare her more with an agitated tone. She seemed distressed enough as it was. "Just look at her," he said, "Her eyes are as golden as they were in her wolf form and her hair is as black as her fur."

Kili nodded but brought the attention back to something that had confused him before. "What do you mean by commitment?" he asked his uncle and was met with a hesitant look.

"She has committed herself to you when she saved your life, Kili," Gandalf said after a moment, "and I would think that this is the outcome of such an act."

That didn't really help him understand and Kili looked at Tarya for an answer but she had the very same look on her face while staring at the wizard.

* * *

_Tarya watched the wizard in disbelief. What was he talking about?_

_Well, of course, she knew what commitment was. Or at least, she'd heard of it. But she had never actually thought the stories to be true. They were legends even for Amaroks themselves. It had never happened to any Amarok she'd known._

_Never would she have believed that it would happen to her and escpecially that something like __**this**__ would happen! What did this mean?_

_She had committed herself to Kili?_

_This was ridiculous. Sure, she had been willing to give her life for him to be safe but… she stopped her thoughts right there. No, the wizard was right. She had committed herself to this dwarf, she realized and her eyes grew even bigger. She liked him, he was her friend and therefore he was worthy to be saved even if it cost her own life. If this was what caused commitment, then she had indeed committed herself to this dwarf before her. Bloody hell._

_But then why did she become… __**this**__?_

_She hesitantly looked up and met Kili's gaze. He was still staring at her questioningly, so she did something that she had seen a lot of people do and thought it to be the appropriate thing to express her feelings now. She shrugged._

_"Is she mute?" Fili asked then and Tarya looked over at him. He seemed genuinely worried about her and she couldn't help but smile a bit. It was nice to see that Kili was not the only friend she had made so far in the company. Even though – apparently – he was the most important one._

_"I wouldn't think so," Gandalf answered, smiling, "But I would imagine it to be rather difficult to use one's voice when one has never had the need to speak before."_

_Tarya could only agree with the wizard. She wasn't even sure if she was able to actually speak like they all did but she had been a bit too busy with her whole transformation to try yet. But now that she thought about it, she couldn't help but be curious. This was absolutely new to her. She had fingers and hands and she could grab things like a human. And she also had a voice, so she could possibly speak like a human, too._

_She'd listened to enough people talk during her years as to know their words and their phrases. But she couldn't think of what to say at all to begin with while the others talked about what to do with the current situation. She didn't really listen to them._

_And then she decided to say the only thing she thought worth trying to say for once._

_"Kili," she mumbled quietly to herself as to try out the sound of it._

_All eyes were on her immediately._

_"Did you say something?" Kili asked with raised eyebrows, looking surprised._

_She nodded._

_"Kili," she smiled._

* * *

Her voice.

Kili couldn't remember ever having heard a voice like hers before. His name had fallen from her lips like a strange sound that she was trying out. Which was probably the case, he thought. Her voice was a bit coarse but sweet and mild nevertheless. And it was very quiet at the moment so that he wasn't sure she'd even really said his name or if he had simply imagined that.

"Did you say something?" he asked her.

"Kili," she repeated and now a small smile came to play around her lips. Kili was fascinated by it. The smile was shy but happy and it shot right into his heart, leaving a warm feeling there. He immediately shook the thought off. What was going on with him?

"Yes," he said and returned her smile. This was a start, at least.

Gandalf observed the two with slight amusement twinkling in his eyes. It was very interesting, indeed. He would not have thought that Tarya would change into a form like this. And he wasn't sure that this was really the outcome of an act of commitment. He had heard his share of stories about Amaroks that committed themselves to someone and never had there been mention of a result like this. There seemed to be something else playing a part in this. But he didn't know what it was yet and so he didn't utter his thoughts. He would have to ask someone else on his views on the topic to clear this mess up.

The wizard didn't think that any Amarok had ever changed into any human form whatsoever before. But here she was, lovely Tarya, neither dwarf nor elf nor was she of the race of men. She was the human form of an Amarok and Gandalf was fascinated by it.

However, he wasn't sure how to proceed now that Tarya was a young woman and not a wolf anymore. Would she be able to go on with the company and this journey? After all, this body was new to her and Gandalf wasn't sure whether Thorin would be willing to take her with them now. Admittedly, he didn't know whether Tarya would be willing to stay behind. Particularly now that she had committed herself to someone.

As Gandalf looked at the Amarok, he was not sure whether she actually knew about the whole importance of the bond she had made.

Thorin couldn't quite make sense of what he was seeing. He had never thought anything like this would be possible to happen. And yet, here he was, standing before an Amarok that had become human. He didn't know what to make of that. It was certainly intriguing; it was something no one had ever witnessed before. It was some sort of strange… treasure.

"What shall we do now?" Dwalin asked then, sounding far quieter than he had before, probably as to not upset Tarya, Thorin thought. "Will we take her with us?"

The question was clearly directed at him and the dwarf king sighed silently. "We will see if that is possible," he said hesitantly. He'd have to make up his mind before making a decision. "First, we should get her something to eat and drink. I suppose you are quite hungry after the events of this day." His last words were directed at Tarya who hesitated a moment. It looked like she wanted to say something but in the end she simply nodded, giving the king a grateful look.

Thorin nodded as well before turning to his youngest nephew. "You will take care of her, Kili, while Fili and Master Baggins will get her some clothes to cover herself." He saw his older nephew nod and the hobbit mumbled a short "of course" before they quickly left the room.

The dwarf king then nodded towards Dwalin. "We will inform the others of… _this_." He shot the wizard, Kili and the girl on the floor a last look before he retreated from the room with his friend.

This was probably the best way to deal with this situation at the moment, he thought, the practical one.

* * *

_Tarya felt a bit better now that so many eyes were not observing her anymore. If only a bit._

_Unconsciously, she shuffled a bit closer towards Kili who had sat down on the floor next to her by now. Near him, she was at ease – or more at ease, at least. He saw her move closer but didn't react to it; he just let her do as she pleased. And she was thankful for that._

_She met his gaze then and couldn't help but smile timidly. This was just too awkward. She didn't even know how to behave anymore. She'd never had to worry about her behaviour when she was a wolf. But how would anyone act in a situation like hers? She doubted that anyone would be really at ease and knowing what to do._

_Kili gave her a reassuring smile and Gandalf hummed beside them. "I shall leave you both alone for the moment. I think Tarya is quite safe in your company, dear Kili." He said and Kili just agreed with a short nod._

_"I shall talk to you later, my dear, when you have… adjusted a bit," the wizard told Tarya before he left the room as well._

_Now there was only the two of them left. Tarya buried herself in her blankets a bit further so that only her eyes and nose were still uncovered. She felt weird and she felt ugly. She had never actually thought about looks before. Animals didn't care about things like that. But now she was awfully aware of her body and she didn't want the dwarf to see her like this, even though, she didn't exactly know why she felt like this. It didn't make any sense to her._

_"You don't have to hide from me," Kili said lowly, obviously deciding that conversation was the best way to deal with this. "I'm your friend."_

_Tarya sighed. He was right. He was her friend, so she sat up a bit straighter and looked him in the eyes, a bit more determined this time._

_"How are you?" he asked carefully._

_"Good," she managed to say after a few seconds. She would have to get used to her own voice. It was strange to hear it come out of her mouth. Strange, but not unpleasant, she decided. She felt it was actually quite fun to be able to speak._

_"Your wound is healing fast," Kili continued, obviously trying to keep her busy in the conversation so that she wouldn't retreat into herself. Or maybe so that they both didn't have time to overthink this whole situation and drown in the strangeness of it._

_Tarya nodded. "That… is normal for me," she slowly said, concentrating on every word._

_"At least one thing that is," Kili chuckled and she couldn't help but smile, too._

_They were silent for a moment then and she watched Kili shuffle awkwardly before he contemplated her face. His facial expression softened a bit while he examined her eyes, her nose, her mouth, her neck and she couldn't help but wonder what she looked like. So she asked him._

_"What do you see?" she asked._

_"I see you," Kili smiled._

_"Hm. How am I?"_

_The dwarf seemed to hesitate for a moment before looking back into her eyes. "Stunning," he mumbled then and suddenly, Tarya felt an awkward heat spread in her cheeks. Surprised, she reached her hands up to touch them. She heard Kili chuckle._

_"You're blushing," he told her._

_"What does that mean?" she asked him, confused. She couldn't recall ever having seen anyone blush and she certainly hadn't experienced it herself before. Kili scratched his chin pensively._

_"It shows that you're embarrassed by something," he then said, "In this case, you're flattered by what I said."_

_Tarya looked at him, slightly stunned. That was exactly what she felt like but she thought it extraordinary that her body would react to it in such a way. This was very interesting. But it was also a bit impractical if it meant that her emotions could be read so easily from now on._

_"It's the truth, tough." Kili continued smilingly, "You were already beautiful when you were a wolf and that hasn't changed one bit."_

_She didn't know what to say so she just inclined her head in silent thanks and smiled to herself._

_"Thank you," Kili said eventually and she looked back up to meet his gaze. He seemed very serious now, looking at her intently._

_"What for?" she managed to say._

_"For saving my life," Kili said, taking her hand in his own again. Tarya didn't mind. "Please don't do it again, though."_


	14. First steps

**Hello, dearies!**

**_Chilled Souls of the Forgotten_****: Haha :D I'm glad you're still liking this story and I appreciate each of your reviews :D To which music were you relating, then? :D**

**_DwarvenWarrior_****: Thank you! I was really worried when I started to write this in English but I'm glad to hear that it's okay to read :D**

**_Doodler100_****: Yeah, I guess everyone would be nervous in that situation. Especially if you only have a mass of blankets around yourself and nothing else :D**

**_Borys68_****: There is an explanation for her being small, but it will take a while until you'll find out, I'm afraid :D**

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**So, have a new chapter and enjoy!**

* * *

Tarya said nothing for a moment; she simply huffed slightly to his request, looking quite defiant.

"You won't listen, will you?" he asked a little annoyed and Tarya just shook her head.

"Of course not," she simply said. Her sentences were still short; he supposed that was because she was still trying to get used to actually talk. But her voice was steady now and Kili already saw that she wouldn't give in. He sighed silently.

"And why is that?" he asked.

"It's a stupid wish of yours," she replied as if it were the most obvious thing in the world, looking down upon their joined hands for a moment, frowning.

"It is not a stupid wish, I merely want you to be safe. I had you almost die on me today and I couldn't do anything to help you. I don't want to see you hurt another time," Kili said sternly, slightly squeezing her hand. "Especially not because of me."

Tarya's gaze shot up and Kili was suddenly confronted with a fierce glare. "You said you were my friend," she said slowly and waited until Kili nodded before she continued. "I am yours, too. And for an Amarok – for me – this means that you are worthy of my trust, my care and my protection, be it with my own life, whether you want it or not."

Kili looked into her golden eyes and could see no sign of compliancy in them. There was just sternness and the seriousness of the words she spoke. That was her opinion and he would not be able to convince her otherwise, he knew. The young dwarf sighed silently and looked at her dissatisfiedly, whereupon she merely raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I see I can't convince you not to foolishly risk your life for me again," he said and Tarya nodded, apparently satisfied with the understanding, "but be sure that I will see to it that this won't be necessary and that no more harm comes to you."

She seemed a bit uneasy about his statement but she didn't say anything. Probably, she could see the same relentlessness in his eyes as he had seen in hers.

Kili felt it was rather nice to just talk to her like this, though, even if the topic was a bit too serious for his likings. But it made the whole affair a bit less awkward somehow. Certainly, it was still extremely strange but it was nice to be able to have a conversation with Tarya. He'd been able to more or less decipher what she had been meaning to tell him when she still had her wolf form but now was different.

Her hand felt soft and a bit cold in his and he couldn't help but take in the features of her face once more. He had not been lying when he had said that she was stunning. She was no dwarf but she was truly beautiful, he thought. Her black hair fell over her shoulders in small waves and the unusual gold of her eyes stood in a strange harmony to her bronzy skin.

Her features were rather soft; her nose was small and her lips full.

There was a little awkward silence then when none of them knew what to say to the other. Tarya looked at him hesitantly and opened her mouth as if to say something but just as she was about to utter her words, the door was opened once again and Fili entered followed by the hobbit, who had a bunch of clothes piled up in his arms. Bilbo couldn't even see where he was going so high was the pile. He had to rely on Fili in order not to walk into something.

"We didn't know what would fit, so we brought a little selection," the blonde dwarf said smiling, coming to stand next to Kili. He looked down on the both of them, noticing their joined hands but deciding not to mention it. For now. "It would help if you got up, otherwise we can't… you know." Fili waved his hands vaguely in Bilbo's direction.

Tarya hesitated a moment while the hobbit placed the clothes on the bed. Kili released her hand and got up himself and after another moment, Tarya gripped the sheets around her a bit tighter before she followed his example. It took her a moment before she was shakily standing on her feet and now they could see that she was indeed quite small, in fact, she was only a tad taller than Bilbo.

But they could only take in her full height for a mere second before her eyes widened and she keeled over. Kili was quick enough to catch her before she hit the ground painfully. He brought her back up and steadied her with an arm around her waist while Fili chuckled at her baffled expression.

Tarya glared at the blonde dwarf then. "It's not easy," she said defiantly, maybe a bit embarrassed, and Fili was surprised that she now spoke so clearly whereas before she had barely been able to mutter his brother's name. Obviously, they had made some progress already. She seemed more confident now.

"What is?" Bilbo interfered, not quite understanding what she meant. He had been too absorbed in observing her.

"Only having two legs," Tarya replied with a slight frown while she was concentrating to keep her balance. Kili was still helping her and as it seemed, she really needed his support as to not topple over again.

"You'll certainly get used to it," Bilbo stammered and Tarya sighed. She was obviously not very happy with this prospect.

Kili slowly guided Tarya towards the bed so that she could sit there. She immediately reached out to the pile of clothes and examined what Fili and Bilbo had gathered. The trio then watched the Amarok hold out a dark blue gown in front of her. Alatáriël had given it to them after they had told her what had happened. Well, Bilbo had told her. Fili hadn't been very keen on letting the elf in on Tarya's transformation. But the healer hadn't said much and simply given them some dresses to try out.

They were a bit bewildered when Tarya sniffed at the dress, wrinkled her nose and then carelessly threw it on the floor. "I guess that's the wolf in her," Kili suggested quietly and the other two simply nodded. She proceeded with this method until she had a dark green tunic lying in front of her that had formerly belonged to Kili - his brother had taken it out of his backpack - and a pair of brown trousers that Bilbo had kindly offered, next to some undergarments.

When she'd finished her process of elimination, she looked up expectantly. Fili and Kili exchanged a short glance while Bilbo gave her an unsure smile. "We'll, uh… We'll leave you to dress, then," Kili stuttered, suddenly becoming a bit flustered. He motioned the others to follow and they left the room together, slowly closing the door behind them.

As soon as the door was firmly closed, Kili let out a deep breath. Fili watched him with raised eyebrows, expecting him to say something but Kili couldn't think of anything. He just gave his brother an exasperated look and the blonde nodded in understanding. They didn't have to exchange words to know what the other meant.

That was not the case for the hobbit, though.

"I don't know what to think of that…" he mumbled, "Aren't you bothered by this at all?"

Fili shrugged. "Of course we're bothered by it but what do you suggest we do?"

"I don't know," admitted Bilbo quietly.

"Surely, it is absolutely weird that Tarya has changed into a woman and none of us understands how that happened exactly but… well, she's still Tarya, is she not?" Fili continued, looking first at Bilbo and then at his brother questioningly.

Kili nodded silently. "Yes, she is. And she is just as confused by all this as we are, take it from me," he said, "So we could just do her a favour and try not to… panic. That's the last thing she needs right now."

Bilbo nodded in understanding. "Yes, you'd think that after a transformation like that you should at least be able to rely on your friends." Kili didn't say anything to the use of the word 'friends' but he liked that he was not the only one who obviously cared about Tarya.

"Do you know what the others said?" Kili asked then and Fili shook his head, looking at the closed door thoughtfully.

"No. But I suppose they'll have the shock of their lives, as well." He looked over at his brother then and seeing the worried look on his face, he hurried to calm Kili down. "But they'll certainly give her a chance! I mean, she fought alongside us as a wolf and she undeniably saved at least yours and Ori's life. That's worth something."

Kili raised an eyebrow. "Ori's life?"

"He told me about it during supper," Fili replied, "Apparently, he was having trouble with a warg that wasn't very impressed by his slingshot. And she came out of nowhere, distracting the beast to chase after her instead and saving his skinny arse before he'd have gotten eaten."

Fili ignored the reprimanding glance he got from Bilbo when he mentioned Ori's 'skinny arse'. Kili just took in the information and was just about to say something when there was a muffled yelp behind the door followed by a thud.

The three companions looked at each other before Kili cautiously knocked on the door. He didn't dare to just go in when a woman – even though she had been an animal before – was getting dressed.

"Everything all right?" he asked through the wood of the door. There was no reply for a moment and he exchanged a look with his brother who just shrugged.

"Never mind!" Tarya's voice was still muffled and the three companions could only imagine what was going on in there.

* * *

_Tarya huffed frustrated. Curse these humans with their clothes. She had fallen off the bed – again – while trying to get her head through the apparently wrong hole. It was only now on the floor that she found where to put her arms and where the head went. Grumbling, she pulled the tunic down and looked up to the ceiling. This was a good start, already._

_She had taken a moment to look down at her own body once she'd been alone. She wasn't sure what to think of it. Her skin was bronzy and her body felt rather well exercised. At least, she didn't feel weak. Weaker than she had as a wolf, admittedly, but it could have been worse. She could live with that, she thought, if only for a while, until she would find out how to change back into her normal form. It had to be possible, she thought. If it went like this, it would also have to work the other way around._

_She sighed and sat up again, looking at the breeches that lay on the bed. Slowly, she pulled them down and spread them before her. At least she knew exactly how those worked; she just had to put one leg through each pant leg._

_Said, done._

_She used the bed to pull herself up and stood still for a moment to find her balance. Only standing on two legs really felt awkward. Suddenly, her trousers slid down and landed in the hollow of her knees. They were a bit too big for her, just as the tunic was._

_Tarya grumbled slightly and pulled them back up. "Oh, great," she muttered, seeing the little bands on the pants' front._

_After a moment of hesitation, she called out to her companions who hopefully still stood on the other side of the door. "I- I need some help!"_

_Tarya watched as the door opened slowly and Kili stuck his head in. She felt rather stupid, standing in the middle of the room, desperately holding onto her trousers. He looked at her questioningly._

_"I can't knot," she said quietly and lowered her gaze to her pants._

_"Oh," she heard Kili chuckle lightly before he opened the door a bit further and came towards her. Fili and Bilbo waited by the door._

_Kili came to a halt in front of her and tentatively reached out for the bands, giving her an asking look. Tarya slowly released the bands so that he could tie a knot to secure her pants on her hips._

_She watched his hands work with interest and wasn't aware of his lightly flushed cheeks as he was working on her trousers._

_"There you go," he said, taking a step back when he was finished. She smiled at him._

_"Thank you."_

_"Well, now that we're all ready and steady," Fili smiled from the door, looking at Tarya, standing on her own without any support, "We should go and introduce our new Tarya."_

_She felt a little nervous – no, actually very nervous – when they escorted her out of the room and through the corridors. While they were walking, she observed her surroundings. She had never seen halls this beautiful before and she was sure that there had been some magic involved in building them. But she didn't mind because the whole area had a very peaceful vibrancy. It was something that made you feel welcome, somehow._

_"Is this Imladris?" she asked breathless, looking out on a large balcony while they were walking by._

_It was Bilbo who answered her. "Yes, isn't it beautiful?" he said, "I never thought I would see it with my own eyes."_

_"Yes, it is. It's… welcoming," she said and Bilbo nodded eagerly. Tarya smiled. The little hobbit was already so far from home, she thought, and he had probably never seen much of the world. It was nice to see him flourish with his new experiences. She was not so sure of her own experiences, though. She had never truly had a home but had always wandered through the world, never belonging anywhere. That's what Amaroks did. And still, she had not seen as much of the world as she would have liked because she couldn't just go strutting into villages and cities, for fear of getting caught by someone. But now she had found these dwarves and the hobbit and a wizard that somehow had become her friends and who stood by her even after her little transformation accident. She regarded all of them as their friends, somehow, even the ones she had never really interacted with much. So she didn't understand why it had been Kili exactly to whom she had committed herself._

_But it was futile to rack her brains over it now. It had happened and she had to get used to it until she'd find out more about it and especially how to undo her transformation. The commitment was impossible to undo, she knew. And she didn't really want to, anyway._

_She was ripped out of her thoughts when they opened the door to another room and as soon as the door was half-open, she heard the familiar chatting voices and laughter of her dwarves._

* * *

Kili felt Tarya slide behind him slightly when Fili pushed open the door to where the companions were staying for the night. They were chatting with each other but as soon as the door was fully opened, sudden silence filled the room.

"Well," Fili said nonchalantly, "You've heard, then." And with this, he strutted into the room towards the little fire they had made. Bilbo followed him hesitantly; only Kili was still standing with Tarya. It didn't seem right to just leave her to deal with this situation alone, so he looked over his shoulder to give her a reassuring smile, before he made half a step to the right, so that the others could at least see her. She didn't seem very comfortable.

"So, it's true, then?" Bofur asked, standing up and coming a bit closer. Kili felt Tarya's grip on the back of his tunic when she peeked over his shoulder. Kili nodded, while the others now tried to catch a glimpse of the girl as well.

"Come on in, lass, we won't bite yer head off!" Gloin called from his spot near the fire and shot Tarya a wink.

"He's right," Bofur grinned, "And we have sausages, just in case you're hungry."

Kili felt her grip on his shirt loosen and she took a step forward so that she was now standing next to him, her arm slightly grazing his. He could tell she still felt uneasy being observed by all their companions but apparently, the prospect of eating made her ignore that for the moment.

"I could eat something," she said with a hesitant smile and Bofur's grin widened.

"We thought so," he said, "I managed to save some food for you before Bombur could eat it all up."

"Hey!" His big red-haired brother called out from his spot, "That's not true!"

"Of course it is!" replied Bofur instantly, winking towards Tarya.

She chuckled lightly and Kili felt the tension volatilize while she then walked up to Bofur. She threw a short glance back at Kili before following him and sitting down by the fire. Kili joined them with a relieved smile on his face. Tarya was handed a bowl with some stew, sausages and bread by Bombur immediately after she had sat down.

The company was still silent when she started eating, surprising everyone with how fast she stuffed the food in her mouth. She must have been really hungry, they thought.

She was just chewing on her slice of bread when she looked up from under her lashes at them, pausing for a second, and then giving them a broad smile, making some of them chuckle.

"You like what Bombur cooked, I take it," Bofur smiled at her, puffing on his pipe and she nodded eagerly.

"I always thought it smelled heavenly and now I know that it also tastes like that," Tarya mumbled and looked at the fat cook whose cheeks got slightly red after that statement. Tarya grinned when she saw it and looked at Kili who returned the gesture.

"He's blushing," she beamed and Kili chuckled lightly.

"I know," he replied smilingly.

The others just watched the interaction with confused faces but didn't ask what the two meant.

The chatting then slowly rose up again and soon enough, Tarya was included in the discussions. She joined in rather shyly at first but the company made her feel welcome and they could tell that she was grateful for that, for her smile grew brighter the longer the evening went. And her smile was surely enough reward for them.

Eventually, they all retreated to their bedrolls and the only ones left by the fire were Thorin, Kili, Fili, Balin and Tarya.

The dwarf-king looked at the girl who was staring into the flames now, having grown rather quiet. She was still sitting close to Kili as if he were some sort of anchor. His youngest nephew was talking to his brother quietly, while he shot a glance towards Tarya from time to time as if to check on her. She smiled at him slightly every time she noticed it and then proceeded to watch the fire. Thorin wondered what the Amarok was thinking about and he also wondered whether it would really be possible to take her with them further on the quest. It didn't seem like a good idea to take a girl on a journey like theirs. But then again, she was an Amarok and he wondered whether that had any effect on her qualities to defend herself. She had been a rather good fighter as a wolf after all and her body seemed exercised enough to be able to endure some fighting, even though she was a woman.

He cleared his throat and Tarya, as well as the others around the fire, looked up at him. He looked at the Amarok sternly. "Do you want to go ahead with us on this journey?" he asked her a bit gruffer than he'd meant to. Tarya looked at him silently for a moment, before she nodded.

"Then we will check your fighting qualities tomorrow morn," Thorin continued, "And I will decide whether you are able to continue on or will be left behind."

"Fair enough," she replied quietly and nodded. Thorin got up then, bidding them goodnight and Balin followed soon after, sending Tarya a kind smile and leaving the two young princes alone with the Amarok.

"_Can_ you fight?" Fili asked Tarya quietly, once the three of them were truly the only ones still awake.

"Of course, I can fight!" she all but grumbled and Fili held up his hands in a defensive gesture.

"I know you can fight, we've all seen it. But…" he shot his brother a short glance, before continuing, "… you were a wolf then. Can you fight in this body?"

Now Tarya looked a bit taken aback.


	15. The origin of light

**Aaaand here's a new chapter for you lovely people!** **It's even a bit longer than usual, because, yeah, I just wanted to fill all the rest of Rivendell into this one :D**

**_Doodler100_****: Ha, you'll see what kind of fighter she is in this chapter :D Thank you so much!**

**_happypills27_****: Haha, you'll see if she kicks Thorin's ass or gets her own kicked today, I hope you like the outcome :D**

**_DwarvenWarrior_****: Ripping out throats with human teeth? Not a bad idea, seems like an awful lot of effort, though :D I hope you like the new chapter!**

**_Beloved Daughter_****: Yeah, fighting certainly doesn't prove to be easy when you don't have balance on two feet to start with :D We'll see if she can cope with that :D**

**_kungfupandabear_****: Yeah, Fili always asks the important questions ;D**

**Thank you so much for your reviews! Keep them coming, I really love reading all of them! :D**

**And thanks to the silent readers that keep favoriting and following this story! You're awesome! :D**

* * *

_She didn't know, she realized. Would she be able to fight with her new body? She didn't have sharp teeth anymore; she didn't have strong paws and claws. She only had a weak human body, she thought gruffly. But still, she was quite well exercised and that ought to be at least a bit useful. And so many years of hunting, fighting and surviving in the wild couldn't just disappear, could they? No, there had to be some of her strength left in this body._

_"I'm not sure," she admitted gloomily, looking at the blonde dwarf who slightly raised his eyebrows. "I-… Well, I won't know if I don't try, right?"_

_Kili smiled. "That's the spirit."_

_They talked about something else then and Fili retreated to his bedroll soon after, leaving Tarya with Kili again. She stared into the slowly dying flames again, revelling in her thoughts. She did want to continue on with the company. Not necessarily because she felt their quest to be hers but because she wanted to stay with – she didn't really want to admit it – she wanted to stay with Kili. And the others, as well, but Kili was the strongest force that held her here. It was strange, she thought. She felt more at ease when she was by his side and she feared she might lose that feeling as soon as she was left alone. As long as she knew that the brunette dwarf was somewhere near, she was all right. And she didn't want to be left behind to stay with those elves in the worst case. They couldn't just leave her here in a body that was not even hers, really, when they were the ones to have caused it. Well, Kili was the one, she thought. She really wasn't a big fan of this bloody commitment thing and she didn't exactly know how it worked but she sure blamed it for her transformation._

_"I'm sure you can do it," Kili said quietly and she slightly turned her head to look at her friend._

_"Let's hope so," she replied, "I sure don't fancy being left behind."_

_A small smile then graced Kili's features as he turned his gaze towards the slowly dying flames. "And I sure don't fancy leaving you behind."_

_They sat together for another while before Kili sighed silently and got up slowly. "Shall I bring you back to your room to sleep or…" he trailed off._

_Tarya smiled at him. "Given that 'my room' is nothing more than a bed in the healing chambers, I am perfectly content to stay here." And she really was. She didn't think she would feel good sleeping as far away from the company. "But I will just stay awake a little longer, if you don't mind."_

_Kili nodded. "Very well. I- Good night, then." He gave her a last smile before he went over to his own bedroll, lying down so that his back was facing towards her and the fire._

_Tarya sighed deeply. Her life had become a sudden mess within a few hours. She had become human, she had committed herself to a dwarf and she had no idea what to make of it all. And for the first time in over 60 years, she wished for someone to explain all this to her and to help her with it. She caught herself wishing for her mother to be there._

_But that was a futile thing to wish for, Tarya knew. She had not seen her mother in 66 years and it was unlikely that she would ever see her again. Suddenly, she remembered the voice that had echoed through her head before when she had still been unconscious. Had it not sounded strangely familiar? Had it not sent a distinct flash of hope through her the way that only someone very dear would be able to do? Tarya frowned. Was it possible that her mother had been the origin of that voice? But if that was the case, then… Tarya felt a tinge of sadness in her stomach. There was only one way that Amaroks could communicate with each other like this out of nowhere. And so having heard her mother's kind voice in her thoughts meant that her mother… was dead._

_People often said that when someone died, a part of that beloved person would always stay with them. For Amaroks, this was an irrevocable truth. Even though, they didn't travel or live together, they were somehow connected with their loved ones. And even if mother and child parted ways when the time came, they still held so much love for each other that it lasted for a lifetime. And when one of them died, a part of their spirit became some sort of a silent companion for the other; embedded in their heart, ready to help when they were really needed._

_Tarya bedded her head on her knees and blinked a few times. Her sight had gotten strangely blurry. She sighed again after her little realization. So, her mother had told her to be brave. And she would be, Tarya told herself. She had always been brave and she would not let a little change in her body form affect that. She would show Thorin Oakenshield and everyone who wanted to know that she was perfectly able to fight for her own sake._

* * *

Thorin awoke early the next morning and as was mostly the case, he was the first one to be up, since no one had had to keep watch that night. He made his way across the room to get some water out of the packs that were piled up on one side, glancing over his companions in doing so. He immediately saw Tarya lying next to Kili. He was not really surprised by this sight but he wasn't sure he liked it that much. Their backs were slightly touching each other. Tarya had curled herself up in a small ball and was facing towards the now gone out fire while Kili was facing the wall and was lying on his side, stretched out.

Thorin frowned slightly. He was really curious whether she would be able to hold her ground on the field later.

"Good morning" Dwalin's voice pulled him out of his thoughts. He looked over at his friend who was coming towards him.

"Good morning," Thorin said before taking a sip of water.

"You are going to spar with her today?" the bald dwarf asked him, slightly motioning his head in Tarya's direction and Thorin could only wonder how he knew. He had thought him to be asleep when he had mentioned it the night before. Apparently, he had been wrong.

"Yes," he confirmed stiffly.

"You are aware that she is still not used to this body? She has never wielded a weapon in her life and she probably has no balance to fight whatsoever." Dwalin looked at his friend sternly. Thorin was surprised by the warrior's words but he didn't show it.

"Are you worrying yourself over her?"

Dwalin shrugged slightly. "I would simply not deem it quite an even battle, is all," he said.

Thorin huffed. "Of course it is not an even battle. But she will hardly encounter even fights from now on; she is a woman now and not a wild animal anymore. She will always be weaker than a man and she will have to adjust to it better sooner than later. If she is to go on with us, then I cannot take the risk to have someone protect her at all time."

Dwalin was about to open his mouth to reply when someone else cut him off. "I never understood why women are considered to be so weak in your society." Both dwarves turned around to see Tarya standing behind them, her arms crossed over her chest. "But I can assure you that I have never needed protection from anyone and I won't let _this_," she looked down at herself for a moment, "change that."

Thorin couldn't help a little scoffing huff. "We'll see."

It was about one hour later that the whole company was gathering on a small training ground that the Elves had kindly placed at their disposal for the day.

Thorin turned around to them when they reached the edge of the field. "Get together in pairs and start training. Fili, Kili, you will exercise with Tarya," he looked at his nephews severely, "Show her how to wield a sword and teach her what she needs to know." Fili nodded and Thorin's gaze wandered towards the Amarok; that was the most fairness he could grant her. "You have until this afternoon, then you will compete against me."

Tarya nodded solemnly, following the two princes onto the battleground. Thorin watched them go while the other members of the company began to pair up. In the end, only Balin and Bilbo were left on the edge of the field. Balin was not one to exercise his skills much and Bilbo was not exactly fond of battling, so they chose to watch their companions for a while instead. It was Tarya's skills especially that they were eager to see.

She had retreated to the far edge of the ground with the two Durin brothers.

"Here, take this one for now," Kili said, handing her his sword. She looked at him quizzically and he gave her a small smile. "Fili is much better with swords than I am, so it is only logical that he is the one you should run against."

"Oh, all right," Tarya said and looked over at the blonde dwarf who had one of his swords already pulled. He didn't want to confront her with both of them already the first time. Fili gave the Amarok a cocky smirk in reply.

"I will go easy on you the first time, don't worry," he said and grinned at her irritated face. They both showed her how she had to stand, then, having some trouble already to keep her balanced and then they told her how to hold the sword, how to move when she was under attack and how to make attacks herself. It was all in slow motion and she unfortunately didn't prove to be a natural.

Kili sighed from his spot while he was observing his brother spar – still rather slowly, even after over two hours – with Tarya. Her footwork was slowly improving but she still stumbled over her own feet from time to time, trying to concentrate on too many things at once. Her blows were not strong enough and she didn't always wield the sword in the right angles. She would never stand a chance against Thorin like this, Kili thought; he'd mow her down in a matter of seconds.

The brunette dwarf caught a glance by Fili while he easily dodged one of Tarya's blows. The blonde twisted his mouth askew and Kili knew what he was thinking. The fight against Thorin would not end well for their Amarok friend and Kili was afraid he would actually have to leave her behind, then.

He interfered then, trying to give her some more advice but she hardly improved and soon enough midday passed and Thorin called out that they would have something to eat – Bilbo and Balin had been kind enough to bring some food out – and a little pause and afterwards he would test Tarya.

As they sat down on the ground, Kili could see that she was feeling quite uneasy about the prospect of fighting his uncle, as well.

* * *

_Sitting a bit away from the rest of the company, Tarya couldn't help but feel nervous. She knew she had made no valuable improvement with the sword in these last hours and that made her feel really uneasy about her forthcoming challenge. But there was nothing she could do now. She could only compete against the dwarf-king and hope for the best._

_"Nervous?"_

_She turned her head to see Bilbo sitting down next to her. She simply nodded. He gave her an understanding smile. "I would be, too," he said._

_She watched the hobbit for a moment. "You have not been training," she observed then. Bilbo shrugged slightly._

_"No. You see, I'm not really what you call a fighter," he mused, getting really quiet now so that she was truly the only one to hear him, even though they were far enough from the others as to not be overheard. "I'm not even a burglar. I'm of no real use to this quest, actually."_

_"That's not true," she told him just as quietly as to not alert the others to their little conversation. It seemed too private to the hobbit. "There is more to you than you think and you have already proven your worth in this adventure, I've seen it myself. You're brave, don't let anyone tell you otherwise."_

_Bilbo looked at her sceptically. "You don't have to tell me that."_

_"I know," she said, "And I wouldn't if I didn't think it to be true. I am not one to tell lies, Bilbo. It does no one any good."_

_The hobbit's eyes widened just a tiny bit but if he wanted to say anything further, he was cut short, for a pair of heavy boots planted itself before the two. Tarya looked up and met Thorins' gaze. "Get ready," was all he said before walking off towards the middle of the training ground._

_Tarya got up, grabbed Kili's sword and caught a few encouraging nods and smiles from her companions when she walked over to the dark haired dwarf-king. She sighed quietly when she saw his stern glare. He surely wouldn't go easy on her._

_And he didn't. At first, he let her position herself and she did as Fili and Kili had shown her. He looked at her and nodded slightly before taking in his own position. The next thing she knew, he was charging towards her like a wild beast. Appalled, she quickly dodged his attack just in time before he turned in his movement and she had to duck to avoid being hit by his sword._

_Fili really had gone quite easy on her compared to him, she thought._

_Thorin paused for a moment, giving her time to adjust again while they circled each other. She looked at the dwarf-king wide-eyed. The company had erupted in hushed mumbling next to the training field._

_"You have not learned much, I see," he said gruffly, shaking his head. Tarya felt a twinge of annoyance to his words._

_"I've done my best," she replied, searching for a little weakness in his defence but there was none. Thorin was moving steadily, adjusting himself to her movements so that she didn't have any open contact surface._

_"Your best is obviously not enough, then," he huffed, "There is a reason for men to believe women weaker than them, after all." He ignored her angry glare before attacking her again. She parried his blow with her sword, feeling her arm ache under the impact. She felt herself getting really angry now. What did he think of himself? She had undergone a body transformation yesterday and had hardly had enough time to adjust to her new situation and now this dwarf forced her to practice fighting in a way that she had never done before and genuinely expected her to be able to match him after a few hours of training?_

_Thorin didn't give her much time to think further, he continued attacking her and she continued trying to block his blows as well as she possibly could but to no avail. It took the dwarf-king hardly another half minute to land a blow hard enough to almost jerk her sword out of her hold. She could only just keep hold of it with great effort._

_"Would you like to surrender?" he asked her in quite a neutral tone but she heard the dismissive undertone and Tarya felt something twist within her._

_"No," she said so angrily that it almost sounded like a snarl. She saw Thorin raise an eyebrow before he inclined his head slightly._

_"As you wish," he mumbled, raising Orcrist again to apparently give the final bit of his lesson. Which would undoubtedly result in her losing. Tarya tried to tell herself that he would not actually hurt her but she wasn't convinced when she looked at his face. She tried to concentrate on what Kili and Fili had told her, how she had to put her feet and how she had to block attacks with her sword but it didn't help her at all. If anything, it only made things more complicated and she decided that if she was going to lose this fight, she was going to lose it on her own conditions._

_So, as Thorin stepped forward to bring his sword down on her, she ducked and moved to the side beneath his arm, letting go of her own sword at the same time. She decided to just trust her instincts and see what this body could do with it._

_Thorin turned to face her again but she was quicker this time, not having to hold the heavy sword. She dodged his attack quickly, grabbed his arm and put her foot between his legs at the same time and then she pulled strongly, so that he suddenly lost balance and landed painfully on the floor with her. She turned them abruptly so that she was now sitting on his chest, her knees on his arms to hold him down, one hand on his neck, the other up in the air as if to punch him in the face. His sword had landed a few centimetres out of his reach and he looked up at her, surprised._

_So, there was some skill left in her, after all, she thought happily._

* * *

Thorin looked up to the girl on top of him with wide eyes. He sure hadn't anticipated that. She had him tucked to the ground successfully, he couldn't reach his sword and his arms were trapped so that he couldn't move them.

"Pinned you," she growled.

"You have not used your sword," the dwarf-king grumbled, surprised at how animalistic her voice had just sounded. So there was an able fighter in her, the wolf still resided there, she just needed being pushed enough to let it out, he thought.

"It was too heavy and hindering me," she told him and he nodded slightly. He had seen that, of course. She had barely been able to hold Kili's sword up at the right angle. Swords were definitely not the right choice for her. At least not any as heavy as Kili's. But given the quickness and the strength she had just showed him, she might be the right person for daggers, he thought, which were lighter and therefore probably more suited for her.

"Get off me," he huffed then and she obeyed promptly.

He looked at the Amarok for a moment who returned his gaze with clear defiance in her eyes but there was also a little anticipation and attention. Thorin then diverted his gaze to his nephews who sat amongst the company, looking stunned as all of them. They hadn't thought it even remotely possible for Tarya to hold her ground against Thorin and now she had pinned him to the floor, deprived of his weapon by her bare hands.

"Get her two daggers with which she can defend herself," he announced, "Tarya will be coming with us."

The dwarves cheered his decision and as he looked back at the Amarok, he now saw a bright smile on her face. "You will have to keep training," he told her sternly and she nodded.

It had become rather dark when the company finally split. Thorin and Balin had a meeting with Lord Elrond to discuss the meaning of their map, which Bilbo and Gandalf would also attend. The rest of the company mainly headed back to their room to relax a bit before they would move ahead on the journey again. Thorin had told them that they would leave as soon as they'd found out what they needed to know about the map.

Kili looked up from his conversation with Fili when he saw Tarya stand up and head towards the door. "Where are you going?" he asked and she turned around to him with a gentle smile on her face.

"To explore the halls," she said, "I've never been to Imladris before, might as well take a closer look now that I have the chance."

Kili nodded slightly, musing whether he should accompany her but he decided to let her go on her own. She didn't need him as her lifeguard at all times, after all and he wasn't too eager on exploring elven halls, either. Still, he watched her attentively as she left the room.

"She'll be fine," Fili said and drew his attention back to him. "It's not like she'll be attacked as soon as she's out of your sight."

Kili huffed slightly. "I know."

"You like her," Fili then said, after a moment of silence. Kili looked at him rather quizzically.

"Of course, I do," he said. He didn't understand what his brother was getting at. Of course he liked Tarya, he'd done so ever since he'd met her, clear for everyone to see.

Fili shook his head. "No, I mean… You were holding her hand yesterday."

Oh. Now Kili understood. "That doesn't mean what you think it means," the brunette said, rolling his eyes. "I was trying to comfort her, is all."

"All right," Fili mumbled, "But I'd understand if you found her attractive, I mean, she's… well, she's pretty."

Kili just grumbled something that Fili didn't understand, not liking his brother's thoughts at all. Of course, Tarya was not only pretty in his opinion but indeed beautiful, he couldn't deny that. But the mere thought of anything more than being her friend was plain ridiculous, he thought.

"Just saying," Fili said, raising an eyebrow and trying to withhold a grin at his brother's slightly flustered face. He got an annoyed glance in reply.

* * *

_Tarya walked the corridors quite slowly, looking closely at the walls that had little carvings in them, letting her hand glide over them from time to time, relishing the feeling of the little patterns on her palm._

_She walked past several closed doors, then some open ones, one of them leading to a library. She was tempted to go in but decided otherwise, for she could not read anyway. Eventually, she found her way out of the corridors and came to a halt in a beautiful garden of some sort. The trees, bushes and grass were painted in a strange bluish light from the moon above and there was the ripple of water coming from somewhere. Tarya took in the sight speechlessly, taking a few steps forward and eventually sitting down on a small bench that was situated there._

_She didn't know how long she'd been sitting there, just contemplating the view, when she felt the presence of someone behind her. She quickly turned her head and saw a tall Elf standing there._

_"It's beautiful, isn't it?" the woman said, gracing her with a gentle smile. Tarya nodded slightly, a bit suspicious of her._

_"I am Alatáriël," the woman smiled, "I am the one to have tended to your wounds when you arrived here. Albeit, you still looked a bit different then."_

_Tarya couldn't help but huff amusedly. "A bit different is putting it quite nicely," she said, "But I thank you for your help."_

_Alatáriël inclined her head slightly. "It was my pleasure to offer my help to one of your kind." Tarya frowned at the Elven healer who was still standing calmly beside the bench. "An Amarok is a rare sight to behold," Alatáriël continued, "and I deem myself honoured to have met you and to have now witnessed your transformation. It is most fascinating, if you don't mind me saying it."_

_Tarya shrugged slightly. She didn't mind her saying it but it still made her feel a bit strange. She didn't know where the elf was going with this and she seemed to know more about Amaroks than other people, if not, she wouldn't be so calm about it. "Is that all you sought me out for?" she asked, "To tell me how fascinating you find me?"_

_The elf shook her head gently. "No, I actually wanted to offer you more fitting clothes for your journey. I have heard you were going to leave soon."_

_"Is there something not right with what I'm wearing now?"_

_"Well, I would assume it to be practical to have at least some boots if one goes on an adventure. And maybe a shirt whose sleeves do not cover your hands." Alatáriël said, a smile tugging on her lips again._

_Tarya looked down on her feet for a moment, waggling her toes a bit and then at her hands, which were indeed covered by her sleeves. Well, Kili's size was definitely bigger than hers. She was practically swimming in his tunic. "I suppose you would be right with that assumption," she grinned sheepishly and the elf gave her a kind smile._

_"If you would follow me, I am sure we can find you something a bit more fitting," she said and Tarya gave her a grateful look, following her out of the garden and into the halls of Rivendell again._

* * *

After their meeting with Elrond, Thorin, Balin and Bilbo retreated to join their companions while Gandalf followed the Elven Lord up the stairs to another meeting he had to attend.

"With or without our help, these dwarves will march on the mountain," the wizard said to his old friend. "They're determined to reclaim their homeland. I do not believe Thorin Oakenshield feels that he is answerable to anyone and nor, for that matter, am I."

Elrond looked at him with raised eyebrows for a moment. "It is not _me_ you must answer to."

Gandalf frowned at the Elven Lord for a moment but when he finally turned around to face the balcony they had headed to, his eyes widened in surprise and awe. Before him stood a tall and fair elven woman with long blonde, almost silvery hair and as she turned around to face the grey wizard, he made a few steps forward. "Lady Galadriel!" he muttered.

"Mithrandir," she greeted him in elvish, "It has been a long time."

Gandalf inclined his head respectfully. "Age may have changed me," he said, looking up again, "but not so the Lady of Lórien."

She smiled at him broadly, coming a few steps forward, her white gown flowing gently around her body.

"I had no idea Lord Elrond had sent for you," the grey wizard said then, looking at her for a moment before another voice chimed in.

"He didn't. I did," said the white wizard from beside them.

"Saruman," Gandalf greeted him, a bit stiffly due to the surprise as he turned around.

"You've been busy as of late, my friend," the white wizard uttered, raising an eyebrow at his grey friend.

Gandalf sighed inwardly. Apparently, now had come the time to justify his journey with the dwarves. And to tell them about the Amarok in their company.

"Tell me, Gandalf, did you think these plans and schemes of yours would go unnoticed?" Saruman asked when they had sat down to hold their council. Gandalf folded his hands on the table before him, looking at the leader of his order.

"Unnoticed? No, I- … I'm simply doing what I feel to be right." Gandalf replied quietly.

"The dragon has long been on your mind," Lady Galadriel said and Gandalf inclined his head slightly. She was right, of course, as always.

"It is true, my Lady. Smaug owes allegiance to no one. But if he should side with the enemy, the dragon could be used to terrible effect." He hesitated for a moment, not sure if it was a good idea to go on before he finally did. "As well as Tarya."

Galadriel looked at him intently while Saruman spoke up. "Who might Tarya be?"

Gandalf inclined his head slightly, looking at the white wizard. "She is a child of the race of the Amarok," he said, "And she has joined the dwarves' quest recently."

Saruman looked a bit taken aback. "An Amarok? Is this true?"

"Yes, it is," Elrond interfered, "My troop was the one to have brought her to Imladris."

There was a strange twinkle in the white wizard's eyes then as he looked down at the table thoughtfully. "It is a rather strange thing that an Amarok would side with dwarves."

"She has built a friendship with all of them," Gandalf tried to explain, "And she has in fact committed to one of them."

Now Saruman's gaze shot up. "Has she transformed yet?" he asked and Gandalf nodded slowly, surprised at how the white wizard knew of it.

"It is normal, then?" Gandalf asked and it was Galadriel who answered him, earnestly, after she had listened silently to their conversation.

"Amarok commit when they knowingly risk their own life for the sake of another," she said, "And only if they are deadly wounded under the act of _commitment_, a certain power can save their life. They become something else, a representation of their inner light, one could say."

"The origin of light," Gandalf muttered, awe-struck and Galadriel nodded slightly. "But Tarya's wound was not exactly deadly, she could have survived as a wolf." he said then. "Then why did she transform?"

Galadriel looked at the grey wizard thoughtfully for a moment. "What do you think?" she asked him, then.

"She has been haunted." Gandalf said very slowly, "I fear something moves in the shadows, unseen. Something dark and powerful."

"Always you must meddle," Saruman grumbled, "Looking for trouble where none exists!"

"Let him speak!" Galadriel ordered and Gandalf continued.

"There is something at work beyond the evil of Smaug, something far more powerful." Gandalf said. "We can remain blind to it, but it will not be ignoring us, that I can promise you. A sickness hides over the Greenwood. The woodsmen who live there now call it Mirkwood, and...uh, they s...they say..."

"Well, don't stop now, tell us what the woodsmen say?" urged Saruman, a little annoyed.

"They speak of a Necromancer, living in Dol Guldur, a sorcerer who would summon the dead."

"That is absurd," Saruman replied immediately, "No such power exists in this world. This Necromancer is nothing more than a mortal man. A conjurer dabbling in black magic."

"And so I thought," Gandalf said, "But Radagast has –"

"Do not speak to me of Radagast the Brown," Saruman huffed, "he is a foolish fellow."

"Well, he is odd, I grant you. He lives a solitary life…"

"It's not that, it's his excessive consumption of mushrooms! They've addled his brain, and yellowed his teeth. I warned him. It is unbefitting one of the Istari wandering the woods..."

As Saruman was talking away to him, Gandalf suddenly heard a gentle voice in his head and after a mental order of Lady Galadriel to show her what Radagast had found in Dol Guldur, he obeyed and put the sword on the table gingerly. The others were obviously taken aback once they saw what it was.

"A Morgul blade!" Elrond breathed.

"Made for the witch-king of Angmar, and buried with him. When Angmar fell, the men of the North took his body, and all that he possessed and sealed it within the high fells of Rhudaur. Deep within the rock they buried him, in a tomb so dark it would never come to light." Galadriel said, looking at the blade intently while she spoke.

"This is not possible," Elrond muttered, "A powerful spell lies upon those tombs, they cannot be opened."

"What proof do we have this weapon came from Angmar's grave?" Saruman asked then, looking rather unconvinced.

Gandalf sighed. "I have none."

"Because there is none." The white wizard said dismissively, "Let us examine what we know. A single orc pack has dared to cross the Bruinen. A dagger from a by-gone age has been found. And a human sorcerer who calls himself the Necromancer, has taken up residence in a ruined fortress. It's not so very much, after all. The question of this dwarvish company however, troubles me deeply."

Gandalf looked at Saruman with raised eyebrows while he continued. "I'm not convinced, Gandalf. I do not feel I can condone such a quest. Especially if an Amarok is involved in their hopeless attempt to fight a dragon. If they'd come to me, I might have spared them this disappointment. I will not pretend to understand your reasons for raising their hopes..."

'_They are leaving_,' he suddenly heard Galadriel's voice in his mind again and he looked away from Saruman to gaze at the fair elven woman who was standing near the edge of the balcony.

'_Yes,'_he replied in his thoughts, as well.

'_You knew,'_ she said and he inclined his head a bit to give her a knowing look. She smiled slightly at him. '_You are right to help Thorin Oakenshield. But I fear this quest has set in motion forces we do not yet understand… You have to be careful, Mithrandir. The Amarok now carries great power that cannot fall into the wrong hands.'_

Gandalf inclined his head again, showing her that he'd understood. But it did worry him, for he did not know exactly what power Tarya had awakened within her during her transformation that she most likely didn't even know about herself.

"… I'm afraid there's nothing else for it." Saruman ended his speech that no one really had paid attention to beside Elrond. Just at that moment, Lindir came hurrying onto the balcony, a worried look on his face.

"My Lord Elrond!" he called out and they all turned to him, questioningly. "The dwarves… they are gone!"


	16. Over hill

**Wheeew, new chapter!**

**_DwarvenWarrior_****: Haha :D Everyone seemingly likes Thorin getting knocked down by her :D I'm certainly happy that it pleased you :)**

**_Doodler100_****: I'm glad you liked Tarya in badass-mode and concerned Dwalin. I love Dwalin and he'll get some more scenes in the future :D Yeah, I know the White Council scene was a lot like the movie and I wasn't sure if I should really do it like that but in the end I just thought, why not, because I love the scene in the film. But I'm aware that it was a bit much, so thanks for telling me, now I can avoid things like that in the future chapters :)**

**_happypills27_****: I'm glad you liked Tarya's ass kicking :D I'm quite sure it won't have been the last time :D**

**_Artemis Faery_****: It's funny because you liked the exact part that Doodler100 criticized :D Tastes are different, I suppose, but I'm glad you liked it :)**

**_Beloved Daughter_****: I'm happy you liked it! Yes, exactly. Daggers are much easier for her because they're not as much a foreign weight as a sword, they're lighter and she can move faster. :)**

**Thank you guys so much for your reviews!**

**And also thanks to the people who followed and favorited! (I can't believe how many new readers this story still gets :D)**

**And now to why you've actually come here... Enjoy and let me know what you think!**

* * *

They had left Rivendell a few hours ago and were now heading for the Misty Mountains. The valley had disappeared out of their sight a while ago and Bilbo had not been the only one taking a look back, Tarya had also lingered a moment with the hobbit, taking in the sight before they had moved on.

Kili was walking with his brother at his side; Tarya a few steps in front of him by now. He had been dumbstruck when he had seen her coming back before they had left. The new clothes had changed her look from little-girl-in-oversized-clothes to adventurous woman. Or at least, that had been Kili's first thought when he'd seen her.

The elven healer – she had later told him – had managed to find her clothes that actually fit and she was now wearing tight black breeches along with a dark blue tunic that flowed around her body nicely, she had solid boots on that were not too heavy and a coat that protected her if the weather would get worse. The company had organised two daggers for her – formerly belonging to Fili and Nori – that she now wore on a belt around her hips and she had also received a pack with a water skin and a few other paraphernalia that she was now carrying on her back. She seemed happy, Kili thought, while he watched her talk to Bofur. It was like she was more at ease out in the wild than she had been in the halls of Rivendell, which made quite sense to him.

It was already late when they set up camp that night and as Kili was setting up his bedroll, she came to place hers next to his. Neither of them had mentioned their sleeping next to each other the night before in Imladris but it seemed like an absolutely normal thing to him that they did so. She had already slept close to him when she'd been a wolf and he didn't mind if she continued to do so. He actually quite liked to know her close to him.

"You look tired," he told her once they had settled down by the fire with the others for dinner.

"I am," she replied, "I still have to get used to this walking on two feet."

Kili nodded. He could imagine it to be hard to walk for several hours when she had hardly been able to keep her balance only two days before. "You just have to speak up when you need a break," he said, taking a spoonful of his stew.

"I don't need breaks, I just need to keep walking so I get used to it," came her muffled reply as she spoke with her mouth full, quite unladylike as the young dwarf observed amusedly.

"You would certainly not be the only one who could use a break sometimes," Kili said, looking over at Bilbo for a moment.

Tarya followed his gaze. "His feet are very much used to walking, there is no problem with him," she said, obviously a bit irritated. Kili had noticed her getting rather protective of the hobbit ever since they had started out on their quest again. She had walked with him quite often and when Thorin had told Mr. Baggins to keep up in the gruff way he usually spoke to him, she had all but growled at his uncle.

"I guess you're right," he said, not wanting to cause any more irritation.

"I know I am," she answered, smiling into her bowl.

He shot her a sideways glance and grinned slightly. "You're quite feisty today, my dear."

She raised her head and winked at him, her smile broader now. Kili felt a strange tingling in his chest that he couldn't decipher as he watched her, his eyebrows raised in amusement. She really adapted quickly to their ways of communication, he thought.

"Tarya," a voice suddenly appeared next to them and they both looked up to see Thorin standing there. "Eat up and then you shall have a training session with Dwalin. You will have one every night before supper as of tomorrow."

The Amarok nodded. "All right," she said as he turned around to head back to his spot on his bedroll. Kili watched her quickly eat up her stew then, handing back the empty bowl to Bombur before she joined Dwalin a few metres away from the fire.

* * *

_Dwalin gave her a stern glare when she approached him and she already felt nervous again. She had seen him fight with Thorin the day before and he had been rather… merciless. Of course, Thorin wasn't bothered by that, for he could stand his own against the warrior but that was not the case for her and she was a bit afraid that he would simply mow her down the way Thorin had intended to yesterday._

_"Now, wolf girl, let's make you a proper fighter," he grumbled lowly, when she reached him, patting her on the shoulder heavily. The touch of his heavy hand almost made her stumble but when she looked up at him, the corners of his lips had curled up in slight amusement._

_He let her draw her daggers then and she did as she was told, relishing the light feeling in her hands. This already felt much better than the sword had. It was like the daggers were an extension of her hands and not that much like a foreign object she was holding._

_They didn't exercise long this evening, for the light quickly became too dark for it but Tarya already felt more at ease when she finally let the daggers sink into their sheaths. Her breathing was just a bit heavier than before now and Dwalin was walking over to her with a slight grin on his face. She had thought he would be angry when she'd manoeuvred him to the floor but to her surprise, he had chuckled quietly when she stood over him. He had kicked her legs then and she'd fallen as well. But it had been a success to just be able to knock the big dwarf down._

_"That wasn't too bad for your first time, lass," he said, walking over to the others by her side. "I guess the wolf girl is not so weak after all," he added and earned a few chuckles from the other companions._

_Tarya smiled at the bald dwarf to her side. "You might be stronger than me in this body," she said and he raised an eyebrow at her, "but I could have knocked the stuffing out of you in my normal form."_

_"If you say so, little wolf," Dwalin grinned and she couldn't help but grin as well. She had never really interacted with this dwarf before but she came to like him quite quickly now. He wasn't all overly respectful and shy about her, he called her little wolf and wolf girl and she found it funny._

_She let herself plump down next to Kili and Fili who were puffing on their pipes._

_"You are quite fierce for such a small thing," Fili grinned as he let out a small ring of smoke that floated towards the fire. Tarya followed it with her gaze. Kili noticed._

_"Do you want to try it?" he asked her, tentatively reaching out his pipe towards her. She looked at the thing for a moment. She didn't really like the smell of the weed that was being burnt but she did like the little rings of smoke the dwarves all made from time to time. She nodded and he handed her his pipe. Her gaze flicked from the object to the youngest Durin heir. He smiled widely at her. "Just do what Fili does," he chuckled and Tarya looked over to the blonde one who was smilingly looking at her with his own pipe in his mouth._

_So she did what she saw Fili doing, inhaled the smoke and instantly felt a horrible scratching in her throat. She coughed it all out, feeling her eyes tearing up, her body desperately trying to breathe normally again. Kili and Fili were cackling away beside her._

_"That is horrible!" she breathed, once she'd stopped coughing, sending the two princes an annoyed glance. They were still laughing._

* * *

"Oho, so fierce and defeated by a little pipe," Fili grinned and the both of them chuckled again.

It took a moment until the Durin brothers calmed down but Kili felt a grin still tugging on his lips when he saw Tarya's irritated face. There was a strange sparkle in her eyes and the firelight caused warm reflections to dance within them.

"You inhaled too fast," he smiled, "and too much smoke at once. Try again, but slower."

She seemed hesitant for a moment but she did as he told her and Kili watched her inhale again, much slower this time before she slowly let the smoke back out of her mouth.

"That's better," Fili said smilingly.

"I want to do the rings, how do you make them?" she asked enthusiastically then and the brothers exchanged an amused look before Fili spoke up again.

"Uhm, well," he mumbled, thinking of how to explain a thing like this understandably. Kili watched him curiously with a slight smirk on his lips. "You form your mouth to an O," he said and Tarya did so, "yeah, like that and then you use your tongue to withhold the excessive smoke and just puff some of it out."

Kili raised his eyebrows at his brother and then diverted his gaze to Tarya who was looking a bit confused. "What?"

"Just try it," Fili grumbled and Tarya smiled as she did so. Kili watched her. She didn't manage to produce any rings the first few times but eventually, a small circle of smoke erupted from her mouth. She squeaked in glee and Kili couldn't help but smile at her behaviour. She was just… sweet, he thought.

She managed to do some more then and eventually, Fili started to send bigger ones to cross the path of hers. She laughed at the sight and was obviously not aware that half of the company was watching her, Kili realized.

Eventually, he received his pipe back and she lay down next to him, leaving him to talk to his brother. It was quite a while until Kili and Fili stopped conversing in hushed voices and went to sleep as well. The other company members were all already fast asleep except Balin who was on watch and sitting by the fire.

As Kili lay down, his gaze wandered to Tarya for a moment and he saw that her eyes were still open, shimmering golden, watching the night sky.

"You're not sleeping," he stated the obvious, whispering and trying to stifle a yawn. She turned her head to look at him with a sad smile on her face and Kili immediately felt the tiredness leave his body, his gaze becoming worried. "Is something wrong?"

Tarya turned her gaze to the stars again, sighing slightly. She looked so different now, Kili thought. Before, she had been merry and full of energy and now she just looked… _lost_. He didn't like this look on her he realized and shuffled a bit closer to put his hand on her shoulder. "Do you have a mother, Kili?" she asked then quietly, out of the blue.

Kili frowned at the seemingly incoherent question, retreating his hand from her shoulder to place it under his head as he lay down more comfortably on his side, looking at her. "Yes, of course. We all have a mother, do we not?"

She nodded slightly, still avoiding his gaze and Kili saw a look of sorrow flash over her soft features. "Do _you_ have a mother, Tarya?" he asked her softly, observing her face carefully.

"I had one," she muttered, finally turning her head and looking him in the eyes. "Though she is gone now."

Kili stopped frowning and his gaze softened when she fully turned towards him, copying his position. "What happened to her?"

"I don't know," Tarya said, "I only know that she is no more."

The young dwarf couldn't help but grab her hand and pulling it towards him. "Are you all right?" he asked softly.

"I- yes, I think so," she mumbled, "It's not like she was very close to me. I haven't seen her since I was… well, a pup." Kili imagined the big black wolf he had known her as before as a little puppy then, quite liking the picture his mind produced of her. "But it hurts," she added quietly and he nodded. "I didn't think it would hurt that much."

Kili sighed silently when he answered, slightly squeezing her hand and pressing it against his chest unconsciously. "Losing someone dear always hurts, no matter how long you were separated or how little time you got to spend with them."

She looked at him questioningly, obviously sensing that there was something more to his answer. It was his turn to give her a rather sad smile now. "My father died in battle a long time ago. I was three years old, Fili was eight."

He felt her squeeze his hand then and his smile grew less sorrowed and more gentle when he looked into her bright eyes that looked at him kindly through the darkness of the camp.

"Are you all right?" she repeated his question from before and the smile on his face grew light.

"Of course, I always am," he mumbled and she rolled her eyes slightly before she snuggled a bit more into her blanket. Kili realized he was still holding her hand and quickly released it so she could tug it under it as well.

She smiled as she closed her eyes. "Good night, Kili."

"Good night, Tarya," he muttered, gazing at her thoughtfully for another moment before he closed his eyes as well.

* * *

_It took them a bit over a week until they found themselves at the foot of the Misty Mountains. Tarya had spent a training session before supper with Dwalin every evening as Thorin had commanded and had found herself to get along quite well with the warrior. He was a bit gruff and not very sensitive but he was honest and motivating. He had by now settled with often calling her 'wolf girl' rather than her actual name but she didn't mind at all. He was the only one to do that within the company though._

_He was quite happy with her progress with the daggers just as she was herself. She had found herself fighting Fili for a change the night before and she had successfully cornered him in a deadly position after a while, wiping the cocky smirk off of his face._

_Tarya found herself also getting used to walking as a human. Her legs didn't ache as much anymore in the evenings and it was less exhausting to keep up with the others from day to day. But still, she sometimes felt her knees get a bit wiggly._

_As she looked up from the path they were walking, she saw the massive walls of the mountains rise up before her eyes, dark clouds gathering above their peaks. Tarya had travelled the Misty Mountains before but that had been about three decades ago when the hills hadn't been infested with goblins yet and she had taken another path and had not the one Thorin was leading them onto now._

_Looking at the dark clouds ahead, she felt an uncomfortable knot building in her stomach but she was too far behind the head of the company as to alert Thorin to it. She sighed. It was ridiculous anyway, being worried over a few thunderclouds, so she swallowed her doubts as they walked on, the path narrowing the further they went up the mountain._

_Soon, the clouds gathered as a solid black mass above them and heavy raindrops started to fall on their heads mercilessly. Bombur – who was walking behind her – reminded her to pull her hood over her head. They were high up the mountain by now, having to clutch to the walls in order not to fall off the edge and down into the stony valley deep beneath them._

_Tarya felt the knot in her stomach tighten when heavy winds set up and pulled at their cloaks and bodies._

_"We must find shelter!" she heard Thorin yell from up front and couldn't agree more but her thought was cut short by a rumbling echoing through the cold air. It wasn't very loud yet but she felt a twinge of fear shoot through her body, making it stiffen and halt in its tracks._

_"Go on, lass, what is it?" Bombur asked her from behind and Fili turned around, looking at her questioningly through the raindrops that had invaded his face. His brows furrowed at her terrified expression._

_"It's just thunder!" he shouted over the noise that had now set in, trying to soothe her fear._

_She shook her head, looking up at the dark sky. "We have to move!" she urged him, once she'd regained control over her body. Fili looked at her in confusion but suddenly, his eyes widened as the rumbling that had been rather faint before was now deafeningly loud and thundering in their ears._

_"WATCH OUT!"_

_She couldn't tell who had screamed but she found herself pushed back against the wall of the mountain, helplessly trying to hold her balance as the floor trembled beneath her, watching as a large rock came flying from the skies and hitting the stonewall above their heads. She ducked instinctively and felt chunks of broken stone damage the already narrow path even further._

_"This is no thunderstorm!" Balin exclaimed from ahead as Tarya raised her head again, her breath becoming ragged. No… No, it truly wasn't a thunderstorm, she thought fearfully. "It's a thunder battle!"_

_Her eyes widened in shock when she saw a massive figure emerging from the very mountain itself on the opposite side of the valley._

_"Bless me!" Bofur breathed, stepping away from the wall. "The legends are true! Giants! Stone Giants!" he shouted just as the one opposite them threw a large rock towards their mountain again, aiming at another stone giant that had emerged behind them._

_"Move!" Tarya urged again, feeling a distinct rumbling under her feet. They were on one, she realized with horror. She pushed Fili in the back. He didn't budge. "FILI, MOVE!"_

_"TAKE COVER YOU FOOL!" she heard Thorin yell through the heavy rain and the deafening noise and saw Bofur being pulled back by Dori and Nori._

_To her dismay, none of them moved even a bit and suddenly, the stone beneath their feet started moving._

* * *

Kili could barely hear anything through the noise around them but one thing had reached his ears; Tarya screaming. As he turned his head, he saw her trying to get his brother to move forward, pushing at his back. But he was too busy, staring at the stone giants to even budge.

Kili was clutching desperately to the walls behind him as the earth suddenly began to move. It took him only a second to realize that they were on one of the giants that had now apparently decided to join the battle. The giant stood up and in doing so created a large crack in the floor between him and his brother.

"KILI! GRAB MY HAND!" he heard Fili yell and he tried to reach him but it was too late, their fingers barely grazed each other before the gap between the two separate knees they were standing on became too large. Kili could only watch with wide eyes as his brother was drifting away from him. He saw Tarya grab his arm to keep him from falling off the edge and pulling him back towards her.

"No," he breathed, his words getting swallowed by the sound of the thunder battle.

It was only a moment later that their giant was hit by a large rock and lost balance. He stumbled and Kili heard Thorin's booming voice ordering them to move, _move_, **_move_** when their boulder hit a solid piece of mountain. He followed his companions, jumping to safety. Immediately, he looked back to where the rest of them were still situated on the other knee.

With horror, he watched as the giant was punched in his stony head by another and fell. Nothing could describe the way his heart sank when he saw what happened next. Their companions were drifting by in front of them as the giant fell to his knees and he saw their terrified faces. They were dashing towards the massive stonewall a bit further ahead and Kili watched helplessly as they crashed into it just moments later.

"NO!" he heard his uncle yell desperately. "FILI!"

The stone giant now fell down into the valley, no trace of their companions on his defeated form. They raced towards the corner then, where the others had been smashed against the wall. Kili was the last in line and couldn't see what was going on but his heart missed a beat when he finally heard the words that soothed his nerves.

"We're all right! We're alive!"

Kili stumbled forward, looking at the pile of dwarves and saw Fili helping Tarya to her feet before he crashed first his brother and then her in a lung-crushing hug. As he held the Amarok tightly in his arms, he felt her shivering and her ragged breath against the curve of his neck. Her legs were trembling and he felt that she would probably have fallen to her knees if it weren't for his hug. He closed his eyes for a moment, relishing the feeling of her body against his, of not having lost her.

"Where's the hobbit?" Bofur's voice chimed up frantically, "Where's Bilbo?"

Tarya jerked her head back and looked around with wide eyes, pulling back from Kili's grip on her. He looked around himself when he heard Ori shout: "There he is!"

The Amarok rushed forward immediately when she saw the hobbit dangling from the edge of the cliff, trying to hold on desperately, and Kili felt himself reaching for her and pulling her back rather roughly by her upper arm before he even realized what he was doing. She bumped into him and looked up at him angrily. "You can barely stand, I won't let you go anywhere near that cliff," he growled and held her tightly when she tried to move. She was not happy with his treatment, he could tell when he looked over her head and saw how Dwalin was pulling his uncle up the edge. He hadn't even realized what had happened while he had been holding his friend back.

"I thought we had lost our burglar," Bofur said, a relieved smile on his face while he patted Bilbo on the shoulder.

"He's been lost ever since he left home," Thorin uttered angrily, walking past him and Tarya, "He should never have come. He has no place amongst us."

Kili could feel Tarya's chest rumble with a low growl that was most definitely directed at his uncle. He felt her move to face him but he held her back. "Let it be," he told her and she huffed quietly against his chest.

"For now," she answered and her voice sounded rough and shaky.

"Oi!" Fili's voice sounded from further ahead. They all looked up to see him standing with Bifur. "There's a cave over here!"

Kili let go of Tarya's body then but he grabbed her hand and dragged her along as he walked over to his brother with the rest of the company.


	17. Under hill

**Hello dear readers!**

**First of all, thank you guys so much for your reviews! I really appreciate that you take a moment after every chapter and tell me what you think of it! It really keeps my motivation up and I love to read your opinions! :) So, thanks to ****_DwarvenWarrior, Beloved Daughter, Doodler100, Artemis Faery, katiebug700, happypills27 and Em, the lovely guest_****, for having reviewed the last chapter! You are awesome! :D**

**Also, thanks to the lovely people who followed and favorited!**

**I hope you enjoy the new chapter let me know if you do so! Or if you don't, who knows :P**

* * *

_Tarya walked into the cave behind Kili and he let go of her hand, sending her a short glance before he joined his brother a bit further ahead. She wrinkled her nose at his back slightly and waited by the entrance until Bilbo came in. The hobbit all but tiptoed around the dwarf-king who was pointedly ignoring his presence. Tarya could have punched him in the face for his unkind and uncalled for words when she saw Bilbo's face. He looked positively miserable as he let himself slump down against a wall, a bit more distanced from the others than usual._

_"Search to the back," she heard the distinct baritone voice right next to her then and she turned her head to see Thorin talking to Dwalin. "Caves in the mountains are seldom unoccupied." Dwalin nodded and she caught the warrior's gaze for a moment when he turned. He raised his eyebrows questioningly at her and she nodded slightly at him, confirming that she was all right, which was what she thought he wanted to know. He patted her shoulder when he walked past her without saying a word._

_She turned to Thorin then, her gaze becoming hard. "You had no right to have a go like this on Bilbo," she grumbled lowly and he looked at her, his blue eyes piercingly cold._

_"I had every right," he replied sternly, "He has risked the lives of all of us."_

_"With falling down the edge of a path __**you**__ have led us onto?" she snarled angrily, "After barely surviving a thunder battle that none of us could have anticipated?"_

_Thorin scowled at her, his gaze becoming just slightly defiant. He was about to answer when Dwalin's voice coming from the end of the cave cut him off. "There's nothing here!"_

_"Right then, let's get a fire started." Gloin said from their right and Thorin quickly turned his head towards the red-haired dwarf._

_"No. No fires. Not in this place. Get some sleep, we start at first light."_

_Tarya felt a twinge of annoyance when the dwarf king turned from her without another word towards Balin. "We were to wait in the mountains until Gandalf joined us," the old dwarf said, "That was the plan."_

_"Plans change," Thorin replied gruffly and the Amarok snorted quietly. Gandalf had meant to join them; he had meant to talk to her about her transformation after his meeting with the White Council. He had meant to support her with it and she couldn't help but be mad at the dwarf-king for simply changing plans like this. Of course, they had not anticipated the possibility and the consequences of a thunder battle but they could wait for Gandalf up here nonetheless._

_Trying to push her anger aside, she turned and walked over to Bilbo who had retreated to a corner of the cave now. He shortly looked up when he noticed her approaching but didn't say anything when she sat down next to him._

_Tarya didn't quite now what to say to the hobbit to soothe his nerves. It was obvious that he had been deeply hurt by Thorin's words but she couldn't really think of the right thing to start a conversation. Fortunately, it was him that uttered the first words while the dwarves were one by one lying down to sleep. No one took notice of the two, it seemed._

_"I thought we were going to die just now," Bilbo mumbled, looking at his fuzzy feet._

_"I did, too," Tarya admitted quietly, watching Bofur sitting down by the cave's entrance for first watch. Bilbo kept quiet for a moment and she looked over at him, a small frown on her face. "He was not right with what he said, Bilbo."_

_The hobbit huffed slightly, shaking his head. "Yes, he was. It's true I don't belong here. I'm not made for things like this. For adventures. I'm not…" he trailed off, his voice full of resignation._

_"I think you are," Tarya replied lowly, "and I think that you don't give yourself enough credit for what you've gone through already. You have earned a place in this company. You are so brave, Bilbo, and sometime you will realize it as well." The hobbit tentatively looked up into her eyes then, his gaze speaking of nothing but doubt. She smiled kindly at her friend. "Do not let words spoken in ire convince you otherwise."_

_Bilbo smiled slightly then, though it didn't reach his eyes, and lay down to sleep. She watched him for a moment before her gaze wandered over the rest of the dwarves until she found Kili lying between his brother and Nori. She was still a bit angry with him for manhandling her before. Certainly, he had meant nothing but good and he had probably been in the right, too, but she didn't like being ordered about. He should have known that by now. Her thoughts were fading soon though as the fatigue finally got to her and the last thing she saw before her eyes fell closed was Bofur lighting his pipe._

* * *

Bilbo didn't sleep that night. He couldn't. His thoughts were going in circles around what Thorin had said to him. Tarya's words had flattered him and he could see that she was genuinely believing in him but he just couldn't find it in him to do so himself. He was not an adventurer he knew that by now. He had found himself wishing to be back in his hobbit hole certain times during the journey so far and he couldn't help but do so again now. The winds outside the cave were still moaning, the rain still pouring down and the cold was mercilessly invading all of them in their damp clothes. He was shivering cold and he was miserable. Back home in the Shire, Bilbo thought, they were probably haying at that time of the year, relishing the last calm and warm days of summer. Bilbo missed the Shire. He missed Bag End. He missed home.

A while later, when he could hear nothing but the even breathing and the soft and sometimes not so soft snoring of his companions, he had made up his mind.

Bilbo opened his eyes and looked around in the darkness. They were all fast asleep, so the hobbit quietly got up, fastened his belt with Sting around his hips and slowly made his way through the cave towards the exit. He looked back at Tarya for a moment. She was sleeping peacefully, leaning against the wall where he had been sitting beside her before. He sighed silently; he would never forget having met an Amarok. Not just _an_ Amarok but Tarya. And he would never forget having travelled with these dwarves, either.

"Where do you think you're going?" Bofur piped up quietly when Bilbo walked past him. The hobbit, bracing himself for what he was about to say, closed his eyes for a second and then turned around.

"Back to Rivendell," he said determined and immediately saw how Bofur's face fell.

"No, no, no! You can't turn back now! You're one of us!"

"I'm not though, am I?" Bilbo sighed. "Thorin said I should never have come and he was right. I'm a Baggins, not a Took. I don't know what I was thinking when I ran out of my door."

"You're homesick! I understand," Bofur said quietly but he was cut off by the hobbit.

"No! You don't understand! None of you do! You're dwarves, you are used to this life, never settling in one place, not belonging anywhere..." he cut himself off then, realizing what he had just said to the kind dwarf before him. "I- I'm sorry, I didn't…"

"No, you're right," Bofur replied lowly, sadly, his voice not much more than a whisper. "We don't belong anywhere." He looked around for a moment, observing the sleeping dwarves on the floor. The hobbit was right and they couldn't ask of him to stay with them and to continuously endanger himself for their sake. He had a home, after all and Bofur could understand that he wanted to go back there. After all, that was what was the goal of their quest as well. To go back home. "I wish you all the luck in the world," he said after a moment of silence, finally smiling at Bilbo. "I really do."

Bilbo didn't know what to say when Bofur patted him on the shoulder. So he simply gave the dwarf a grateful smile and a curt nod and then turned around to leave.

"What's that?" he heard Bofur ask and he confusedly turned around again, seeing the dwarf stare at his sword sheath with a frown. Bilbo looked down himself and as he drew Sting, he saw that it was glowing blue. It took him a moment too long to realize what this meant and just as his thoughts came to a conclusion, Thorin's voice was booming through the cave.

"Wake up! Wake up!"

And then he felt the floor give in beneath his feet.

* * *

_Tarya's eyes shot open when she heard loud shouting as the ground cracked beneath her. She desperately and unsuccessfully tried to get a hold of something when the floor tipped and she found herself sliding down into darkness together with the others._

_Just a few seconds later, she landed with a painful thump facedown on a different floor. She groaned in pain when she felt another heavy body falling down on her and pressing her against the wooden ground._

_"Sorry," she heard the person mumble and couldn't quite tell which one of the dwarves it was. But before she could check, she felt the weight being lifted off her body just before she was roughly hauled to her feet herself. What she saw next made her breath hitch in her throat. There were goblins! So terrifyingly many of them and they had fallen right into the midst of their… town, she realized with horror._

_As they were being pushed and shoved forward, Tarya felt the creatures jabbing and clawing at her skin, leaving scratches and bruises where they touched and she tried to push them off of her but to very little avail. She heard sneering snickers and laughter around her as they mercilessly pinched her and the others and the Amarok felt a low growl rise in her throat. They would pay for this, she told herself when a particularly nasty goblin pulled her hair so that she groaned in pain for a second._

_Suddenly, she felt a strong hand wrapping itself around her forearm, pulling her forward and she felt herself getting surrounded by her companions so that the goblins couldn't reach her anymore but only the dwarves that had formed a little protecting wall around her._

_She glanced up and found herself looking at the back of Kili's head, the hand around her arm belonging to the brunette dwarf. This manoeuvring her around was apparently becoming a habit of his but in this case, she didn't mind at all. She was quite grateful not to be in the goblins' direct reach when they were lead further down into Goblin Town over long wooden bridges that were slightly shaking under their feet, for some of the beasts had by now taken out whips that they were bringing down on them with monstrous glee._

_"Who would be so bold as to come armed into my kingdom? Spies? Thieves? Assassins?" a deep voice boomed and as she looked up, there was a tremendous goblin sitting on a large flat stone as if it were a throne. It was probably the most ugly-looking creature Tarya had ever seen with a large head, long and dirty fingernails that were more claws and his double chin looked like a big nasty blain._

_"Dwarves, your Malevolence," one of the goblins provided abjectly._

_"Dwarves?" the Great Goblin mused, letting his gaze wander over them. Tarya shrank behind Kili's back and hoped that he wouldn't spot her, although she didn't know whether their captors hadn't already. She didn't want to know what these beasts would do when they realized they had a woman in their captivity. Goblins were not usually known for their chivalry. They were nasty, despiteful creatures and Tarya felt a profound aversion towards them. They had no honour or integrity. She knew they ate everything and everyone and they were always hungry. But they wouldn't gnaw at your bones before you hadn't gone through a long spiral of their tortures and mistreatments._

_"We found them on the front porch," the smaller goblin explained to his king and the Great Goblin sat back on his chair, observing them._

_"Well, what are you waiting for?" he asked his soldiers. "Search them! Every crack, every crevice!"_

_Tarya couldn't do anything. When they tore on Kili to deprive him of his weapons, she slipped from his grip and she felt the goblins brutally snatching her daggers from her belt so that she stumbled and fell forward._

_"My, my, what do I see?" she heard the Great Goblin sneer and she squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, frustrated. "A woman amongst dwarves... Bring her forward!"_

* * *

Kili tried to shield Tarya when he heard the Goblin King's order but there were too many arms grabbing her and jerking her form his grip. He watched her being dragged a few feet forward and he saw that she was struggling, trying to get rid of the goblins' hold on her but they were too many.

"And what a fair one, I might add," the king said, once he could take a proper look at Tarya. "Evidently no she-dwarf but too small still to be much else," he mused, licking his lips in a sickening manner and Kili looked over at his uncle, for he was not comfortable with the Goblin King inspecting the Amarok so closely. He didn't know what would happen if he came to know what she truly was. Thorin was watching the scene with a deep frown on his face, obviously feeling quite the same as his youngest nephew.

"What are you, then?" the Great Goblin asked Tarya directly, leaning in towards her but no word came across her lips. "Answer me!"

She didn't answer; probably knowing it wouldn't be to her advantage if she did and the dwarves had to watch her being brought down on her knees forcefully by the smaller goblins. The king directed his gaze towards them, then. "Well, what are you doing in these parts? Speak!" he ordered but none of them obeyed. Kili shook the hand of a goblin off his shoulder angrily, his gaze fixed upon the black haired woman a few feet away.

"Very well," the big goblin growled, "If they will not talk, we'll make them squawk! Bring up the mangler, bring up the bone breaker! Start with the girl."

Thorin saw the mad grins on the goblins' faces when they heard the order, obviously full of anticipation for the pain they were now allowed to bring upon Tarya. And just a moment after, he saw a large object being dragged closer, looking like a horrible torture device. No, he wouldn't let them bring any harm upon the Amarok, he told himself. "Wait!" he uttered loudly, getting the Goblin King's attention and stepping a few feet forward so that he was only a few centimetres behind Tarya. He could only see her back but even like this, he could tell that she was trembling. If it was from fear or anger, he couldn't tell.

"Well, well, well!" the Great Goblin laughed. "Look who it is! Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, king under the mountain." The dwarf-king watched the beast do a mock bow in his direction and felt his anger rising quickly. "Oh! But I'm forgetting you don't have mountain, and you're not a king. Which makes you… nobody really." Thorin usually knew better than to let talk like this affect him but it annoyed him nonetheless.

"I know someone who would pay a pretty price for your head," the goblin continued. "Just the head, nothing attached. Perhaps you know of whom I speak, an old enemy of yours. A pale orc astride a white warg."

Thorin felt his blood freeze at the words. It couldn't be. "Azog the Defiler was destroyed," the dwarf-king growled. "He was slain in battle long ago."

"So you think his defiling days are over, do you?" the other king asked mockingly, obviously taking pride in knowing more than Thorin did and rubbing it into the dwarf's face. "Send word to the pale orc," he told his scribe then. "Tell him I have found his prize!"

Thorin couldn't believe what he was hearing. Was it true? Was Azog still alive and breathing? He didn't think the Goblin King would make something like this up as much as the thought of Azog still being alive pained him. But no, it couldn't be. He had chopped off the Defiler's arm himself and he had seen him being dragged back into the halls of Moria himself. But he had not in fact seen him die, had he?

Suddenly, the laughter of the goblins became louder again as their king signed them to continue what they had been doing before. Their weapons were by now lying on a pile out of reach and the dwarves watched dreadfully as more torture apparatuses were brought upon the platform.

Kili felt a shiver run down his spine when the beasts started singing, the Great Goblin joining in joyfully.

"Bones will be shattered, necks will be wrung, and you'll be beaten and battered, from racks you'll be hung. You will die down here and never be found, down in the deep of Goblin town." They sung and their guttural voices echoed from the walls around them. Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a soldier raise his whip and before he could even blink he had brought it down on Tarya.

The horrible sound of her pained cry rang in his ears and he felt rage boiling hot in his stomach when she sank to the floor, using her hands to hold herself up.

"No! Leave her be!" he shouted, struggling to get forward but getting punched hard in the stomach and stumbling back.


	18. A fading day

**Hello again! Here's a new chapter for you guys!**

**_Doodler100: _****I hope you'll like this one better than the last one, although I'm not sure whether the less-quoting is better here, I'm afraid. I just annoyingly struggle with Goblin Town, really. But I appreciate your reviews, they are really helpful! :)**

**_Sam0728_****: Is she stuck in this form forever? Maybe, maybe not, I won't tell that just now :D She won't turn into a wolf in this chapter though, but there is a little something that is triggered and that will be discovered soon :D**

**_Teshka_****: First off: hello! :D And second: thanks for all those lovely reviews! Tarya and Kili have a shipper, weew :D If you'd like my professional opinion, I find Kilarya to sound a bit better than Tarili :D Tarili sounds kinda weird. xD**

**Thank you so much for your reviews also to ****_Mignun_****, ****_DwarvenWarrior_****, ****_TheShawndaLee _****and****_ Mistflower21! _****You're all awesome!**

**And as always, thanks to all the people who keep favoriting and following this story!**

**Now read and let me know what you think, I'd highly appreciate it :D**

* * *

_Tarya hadn't been prepared for the searing pain that had been brought upon her, the lashing that had ripped a distinct mark across her back. She groaned, falling forward and only just being able to keep herself up on her hands before she hit the ground._

_"No! Leave her be!" she heard someone shout and didn't have to guess twice that it was Kili._

_"Oh, oh," the Goblin King chuckled, raising his hand to stop his soldier from bringing his whip down on her another time. It gave Tarya time to try and breathe through the pain while the huge creature before her fixed his gaze on her stupid friend. "Now, if that wasn't the distinct sound of a lover's desperate heart," the Great Goblin continued sneering and Tarya raised her head incredulously. The sound of **what**? That Goblin King was clearly out of his mind and she would have laughed if the situation hadn't been so serious._

_"Bring him to me!" There were loud protests and swears from the company as the goblins approached them to seize Kili but none of them could do much without their weapons at hand._

_Tarya quickly scrambled to her feet, roughly pushing the goblins off of her with a strength she didn't know she had. "You will not lay a hand on him or any of them, you abhorrent bastard!" she shouted towards the Great Goblin who looked back at her slightly surprised._

_"So protective," he mused. "Well, it would only seem fair that **you** endure the pain I was about to bring upon your wooer then, while we are waiting for our final guests to arrive." With that, he gave a gleeful look to Thorin. "And you will watch the loyal little harlot scream until she can't anymore. And if she screams well, maybe we will keep her for ourselves."_

_The goblins cheered at the announcement and Tarya flinched slightly._

_"Call her a harlot one more time and I'll rip yo–" Kili's loud and angry voice was cut off when the Great Goblin made a quick, almost bored sign and Tarya was harshly whipped once again, this time hitting her across the shoulder. She cried out once more, stumbling to her knees and clenching her eyes shut for a moment, the pain overwhelming her._

_"No!" she heard Kili roar before the sound of another whip erupted and she heard her friend groan in pain when it came down on the company. The Great Goblin laughed in amusement._

_"Enough!" she snarled loudly then and raised her gaze. She was furious now. It was one thing to hurt her but it was a whole other to harm her friends. Kili especially. Nobody could do that and get away with it unpunished, not even if it was a tremendous ugly Goblin King in his own underground kingdom. Tarya felt rage boiling in her stomach, an angry heat quickly spreading through her veins and her whole body until she clenched her fists. The Goblin King looked down at her and his eyes widened ever so slightly, albeit she didn't quite know why._

_But she didn't have time do dwell on the thought because just at that moment, a loud yelp came up from beside her and she watched confused as a goblin soldier all but threw a sword away from him. It landed a few feet away from her, sticking out of its sheath, glowing blue in the murk of Goblin Town._

_"I know that sword! It's the Goblin-cleaver! The Biter! The blade that sliced a thousand necks!" the Great Goblin howled loudly and scrambled back on his throne, squashing some of his own soldiers under his massive feet, when he saw the glowing blade lying on the floor. Tarya raised her eyebrows at him for a brief second before he roared at his soldiers, "Slash them, beat them, kill them all!"_

_And from one moment to the other, chaos erupted. The goblins charged at her and the company, whipping and clawing and jabbing furiously. Tarya quickly ducked beneath the raised arm of a goblin and dove for Thorin's sword, gripping it and turning around just to see the dwarf-king being brought down on the floor by some goblins._

_"Cut his head off!" The Goblin King's voice echoed loudly through the underground and the goblin raised his blade to obey his king. Tarya's eyes widened and she was about to sprint forward and lunge at the creature when suddenly, there was a bright light followed by a strong blast that spread through Goblin Town, knocking her off her feet as well as everyone else, be it dwarf or goblin. Tarya's head hit the wooden floor painfully and she blinked for a few moments, white dots blurring her vision._

_The next thing she heard was a loud, familiar voice pulling her back to reality. "Take up arms! Fight! **Fight**!"_

_She didn't have to be told twice._

* * *

Thorin pushed the goblins that had gripped him off and scrambled towards the pile of weapons together with the rest of the company. Weapons were being tossed to each other as the goblins started to charge at them. Hurriedly, Thorin seized his battle-axe and looked around for Orcrist while around him the fighting had already erupted. His sword was nowhere to be seen but as he swivelled around and wielded his axe to chop off a goblin's head, a movement to his left caught his attention and as he turned his head, he saw the Amarok quickly buckling her belt back to her hips. She was holding a dagger in one hand and – more importantly – Orcrist in the other. They caught each other's gaze for a moment and for a second the dwarf-king thought her eyes were practically glowing before she blinked and it disappeared. But before he could marvel at what had just happened, Thorin saw Tarya's eyes widen as she looked at something behind him.

"Thorin!" she yelled over the noise of the fight, clear warning in her voice and the dwarf-king quickly turned around to parry a blow by the Goblin King with such a force that the beast stumbled backwards and fell off the bridge. The next thing Thorin knew, Tarya was catching up to him and threw Orcrist towards him in the midst of running. He caught it in mid-air, twirled around and promptly slashed a goblin with it that had come too close.

They were following Gandalf now and fighting their way over narrow and creaky wooden bridges, no one except the wizard having even the slightest idea of where they were going.

He lost sight of Tarya then as they hurried along, the last thing he had seen of her being her drawing her second dagger and her furious face as she had pushed it into a goblin's stomach. He tried to push the image of the glowing eyes to the back of his head and not to worry about the girl, knowing that his youngest nephew would probably not be far if she got into trouble. And anyway, she seemed to be able to handle trouble quite well on her own so far.

As it was, Kili was not far behind Tarya as he sliced and slashed his way through their enemies, Fili being right behind him. As soon as he spotted her black shock of hair in the middle of the chaos, he made his way towards her, reaching her just as she pushed a goblin off the bridge.

"I thought I had told you not to risk your life again!" he shouted over the screeching and shouting of the goblins, now fighting side by side with the Amarok.

"I thought you knew I wouldn't listen!" she yelled back at him, kicking a goblin in the stomach so that it stumbled towards Kili who quickly slashed its chest with his sword before shoving it off the bridge.

He looked over at her for a brief moment, worriedly catching sight of a trail of blood coming from her forehead. He didn't have time to comment on it when they hurried along, following the others. They sprinted along the path, knocking off goblins that tried to climb up from beside them, jumping from one platform to the other, all the while fighting their way through. Kili looked around for a moment, catching sight of Bombur knocking some goblins off their feet with nothing but his huge belly. Kili would have been impressed if he'd had time for it but he suddenly caught movement out of the corner of his eye. He dodged the arrow just in time and instinctively moved in front of Tarya to shield her as two more came their way, knocking them off with his sword. He grabbed a ladder then, heaving it over his shoulder before dropping it on the approaching goblins. He pressed forward, the other companions by his side as they dropped the ladder over a gap in the bridge and moved over it. Dwalin waited for the rest of the company to cross the ladder before kicking it away to keep the goblins from following them.

* * *

_Tarya felt her heavy breathing, her blood whooshing in her ears but she kept on going, not willing to die in this blasted place. She tried to keep up with Kili but after having crossed the ladder as one of the last, she lost sight of him, now finding herself behind Ori with Dwalin behind herself. They rounded a corner and Tarya could see an empty bridge before them, hope already rising in her stomach._

_But that hope was squashed mercilessly when all of a sudden, the Great Goblin broke through the wooden plates, roaring in anger. They all came to a halt abruptly and she almost ran into Ori's back as their enemies surrounded them again. "You thought you could escape me?" the Goblin King said, wielding his hammer at Gandalf who stumbled back into the company. "What are you gonna do now, wizard?"_

_Tarya watched as the dwarves pushed Gandalf forward, the wizard stabbing the beast in the eye with his staff before slicing his sword over his stomach. Her eyes were wide and she was trying to calm her breathing when the Goblin King fell to his knees. "That'll do it," he muttered, before Gandalf slashed his neck._

_She would have smiled if not in that moment, the bridge beneath her feet had begun to creak and crack suspiciously. "Oh no," she breathed before her voice transformed into a loud scream as the floor gave in again and they were sliding on the broken bit of bridge, down into the darkness. Tarya felt someone gripping the back of her tunic and keeping her in place when she was dangerously close to falling off their slide._

_The few seconds that they were tumbling down felt like an awful eternity to the Amarok and when they finally hit the ground, the impact not as hard as she'd thought, she felt another person falling right on top of her, knocking the air out of her lungs. There had been too much falling this night, she decided and as she looked up with a groan, she saw that it was Dwalin who was lying on top of her. He had probably also been the one gripping her tunic before, she realized._

_"Well," she heard someone say and couldn't bother to check who it was, "that could have been worse." She didn't have to check, she realized, when she heard the unbowed optimism. It was Bofur._

_Suddenly, the air was knocked out of her lungs once more as the corpse of the Great Goblin came down on them with non-braked force. She heard Dwalin groan in pain on top of her. "You've **got** to be **joking**!" he growled before he awkwardly scrambled off of her, giving her a short look up and down after he'd helped her to her feet. She didn't bother to say that she was all right, when she heard Kili's desperate voice._

_"Gandalf!" he screamed and once she saw him scrambling to his feet, she followed his gaze, her eyes growing as wide as her friend's. Hundreds of goblins came charging down the hillside towards them._

_"They're too many!" She turned around to look at Dwalin, "We can't fight them!"_

_"There's only one thing that will save us now," Gandalf replied, helping Dori to his feet. "Daylight!"_

* * *

Kili made his way out of the broken wooden panels and hurried down the path behind Tarya who had waited for him to catch up. They ran along dark, narrow tunnels, Gandalf leading them on with a small light on his staff.

It felt like an eternity until Kili finally felt a small breeze of air grazing his face and just a moment later, he saw the distinct light of a fading day reaching through a hole in the wall before they rushed through it and out into the sun.

They kept running, down the hill, around high trees and it was only a few moments later that they finally came to a halt on a small clearing. Kili looked at his brother as he slowed down and they exchanged a glance before he suddenly ran into Tarya's back, sending her stumbling forward with a little yelp, not having noticed that she had stopped already.

She caught herself and turned around to him with an accusing look. He raised one hand vaguely towards her. "Sorry," he panted, still out of breath from the chase.

"… and Bombur. That makes fourteen," he heard Gandalf say but didn't pay much attention to him as he held gaze with Tarya for a moment, the look in her eyes slowly shifting into relief before she sighed heavily, made a step towards him and put her arms around his waist in a tight hug. He wrapped one arm around her shoulder, carefully avoiding touching her whipping wound when he pressed her slightly against him.

The moment was cut short by Gandalf's agitated voice though, which couldn't be ignored. "Where's Bilbo?" he asked and Kili felt Tarya let go of him immediately, as she started to look around worriedly for her friend. He felt a little twitch of frustration, though he didn't know where that was coming from. "Where's our hobbit?!"

They all looked around but there was no sign of the hobbit whatsoever.

"Curse that Halfling!" Dwalin growled, "Now he's lost? I thought he was with Dori!"

Kili – as well as everybody else – looked over at the grey-haired dwarf. "Don't blame me!" he cried out.

"Well, where did you last see him?" Gandalf urged and Dori shrugged slightly.

"I think I saw him slip away when the goblins first collared us," Nori chimed in and Gandalf turned to him.

"Then what happened? Tell me!"

"I'll tell you what happened," Thorin growled, stepping over towards Dwalin and catching everybody's attention. "Master Baggins saw his chance and he took it! He's thought of nothing but his soft bed and his warm hearth since he first stepped out of his door. We will not be seeing our hobbit again. He is long gone."

Kili more heard than saw Tarya react to his uncle's words, a low growl escaping her as she stepped forward towards him. "That is not true!" she said loudly into the silence that had settled in upon the dwarf-king's words and Thorin looked over at her, scowling.

Kili could see that this was not going to end well. "Tarya…" he started but she shut him up with one single glare. He sighed silently.

"Bilbo would not leave us like that," she said, returning her hard glare to the dwarf it was originally directed at. Thorin narrowed his eyes at her.

"He would have done so already had we not been captured by the goblins!" he snarled, taking a step towards her himself. "He had planned on going back to Rivendell after the thunder battle, when the company was asleep, without saying a word to anyone, not even those who believe so fiercely in him."

Tarya looked a bit taken aback by this comment, maybe even a little hurt, Kili thought but her expression quickly turned back into anger. "Even so," she said, "he was with us as we fell into Goblin Town and if he is still in there, we have to go back and find him! He is a member of this company! He is a friend! And he does not deserve this disdain you treat him with!"

The king and the Amarok were by now glaring daggers at each other and next Thorin spoke, his voice was colder than ice. "Should he still be in the mountain, he will be dead by now and it would be suicidal to venture back for him," Thorin uttered, looking into Tarya's eyes sternly. "The Halfling has abandoned us and you'd do best accepting this rather sooner than later. He has left us, you and your friendship behind."

Nobody dared to say anything as the eyes of the Amarok bore into their king's, anger flashing brightly in them.

"No, he hasn't," a voice finally piped up and they all turned their heads to see Bilbo Baggins standing in their midst.

* * *

_A relieved smile spread across Tarya's face as she caught sight of the hobbit. And she was not the only one. Bofur let go a happy chuckle upon seeing him and Fili and Kili were smiling broadly, albeit surprised._

_"Bilbo Baggins!" Gandalf sighed, smiling. "I've never been so glad to see anyone in my life!"_

_She couldn't hold herself back then and rushed forward, gripping the hobbit in a tight hug that he returned, laughing quietly. "I knew you wouldn't leave us," she whispered and felt him pat her back slightly while he nodded on her shoulder._

_"Bilbo! We'd given you up!" she heard Kili say and released her friend to send the dwarves pointed looks, lingering a little longer on Thorin who caught her gaze shortly, raising an eyebrow. He seemed unsure of what to make of the situation, obviously not having expected to see the hobbit again. That served him right, she thought. Maybe now he would finally start to see how valuable and loyal Bilbo truly was._

_"How on earth did you get past the goblins?" Fili asked with raised eyebrows._

_Tarya looked at Bilbo who hesitated a moment before letting go of an uncomfortable chuckle. She frowned slightly when he raised his hand to his pocket but was distracted by Gandalf who spoke up again. "What does it matter? He's back!" the wizard said and Tarya nodded slightly, although looking at the wizard's face, she felt like she had missed something._

_"It matters!" Thorin said, then and Tarya sent him a warning look, which he deliberately ignored. "I want to know. Why did you come back?"_

_"Look, I know you doubt me... I know you always have." Bilbo said after a moment of hesitation and Tarya watched him curiously. Finally, he was standing up to Thorin, she thought. "And you're right, I often think of Bag End. I miss my books. And my armchair, and my garden. See, that's where I belong. That's home. And that's why I came back, because... you don't have one. A home. It was taken from you, but I will help you take it back if I can."_

_Tarya felt a warm feeling in her stomach when the hobbit ended and as she looked up, she saw Thorin incline his head slightly as if in shame. She smiled warmly then as the company remained in stunned and touched silence for a moment. Maybe now they would finally accept Bilbo as a sincere member of this company._

_She walked over to a small rock then, making her way through the company and let herself slump down on it. Now that the adrenaline rush was slowly dying down, she felt the throbbing pain on her back and in her head return._

_"Tarya!" It was – whom else would it be she thought – Kili who was coming to stand in front of her, looking down at her worriedly. She glanced up at him and saw Oin and Fili standing by his side. She frowned a bit, seeing the brunette dwarf's expression but gave him a little tired smile nonetheless._

_"You've been hurt rather badly, lass," Oin said quite loudly and Tarya caught sight of his ear trumpet for a moment, which was completely ruined and trampled from their little trip to Goblin Town. "I'd have you let me take a look at your injuries, if you will."_

_Tarya huffed slightly. She didn't really need to be taken care of, she thought. After all, she was an Amarok and her wounds healed rather quickly. Kili had pointed that out himself when they were still in Rivendell. But seeing the worried expression on her friends' faces, she couldn't find it in herself to discuss this. They would feel better if they could tend to her and she didn't mind if they did. So she shrugged slightly and nodded._

_But before Oin could take a step to look at her back, loud howls echoed over the mountainside they were on and Tarya's head jerked up. She'd recognize those sounds anywhere and felt a growl of frustration and anger leaving her throat. She couldn't fight wargs in a petty human body!_

_She immediately got up from her spot and didn't need to hear Gandalf's urging before she set off running down the hill, followed swiftly by her companions._


	19. The wrath of an Amarok

**New chapter! Whoop whoop! :D**

**It's a bit shorter this time but it just fit best to cut it there, so there you go :)**

**_happypills27_****: Ohh, yes, it will definitely be interesting when Tarya and Tauriel meet :D Kili should watch out :D**

**_Teshka_****: Weew, Kilarya ftw :D It would definitely be helpful for her if she could switch back to being a wolf and I have something planned for her quite soon, so we'll see how that turns out :D**

**_Doodler100_****: That's an excellent thought you had there :D I've had quite the same but you'll see what I mean when you read the chapter... :D**

**Also thank you so much to ****_Mistflower21_****, ****_Sam0728 _****and ****_DwarvenWarrior _****for your lovely reviews! I'm so happy that you like the story :D**

**And again, as always, thanks to the people who followed and favorited me and my story!**

**Now, go ahead and read and tell me your opinions and thoughts :D**

* * *

Kili hated running by now. They were running far too often for his liking. Then again, he didn't want to get eaten alive by wargs, either, so he kept sprinting down the hillside along with the others. The wargs were coming closer behind them as the sun went down on the horizon, leaving them to run for their lives in the murk of the night.

Soon, a few wargs were catching up and they had to draw their weapons and slay those who came too close, all the while they kept racing down the forest, around big trees and jumping over boulders. That was until they were confronted with a sudden cliff, no way to go any further. Kili came to hate cliffs as well.

"Up into the trees!" Gandalf urged them and they all hurried to follow his example. "All of you! Climb!"

Kili took a running jump towards the tree nearest to him and gripped a branch tightly before pulling himself up. It was almost instinctively that he reached out for his brother. Fili grabbed his hand and the younger dwarf heaved him up until he could grab a branch as well and climb onto it.

"They're coming!" he heard his uncle roar and they quickly climbed further up upon hearing the words. When they were safely out of reach of the wargs that now came running down towards them in great number, Kili looked around for a familiar head of black hair. He spotted Tarya on a tree next to theirs, holding on to the trunk beside Thorin, looking down at the forest floor with wide eyes.

"Bilbo!" she shouted and Kili drew his eyebrows together as he followed her gaze. The hobbit was trying to get his sword out of a warg's skull and Kili could only marvel at the thought that he had managed to kill one without getting his head bitten off. "Bilbo, run!" Tarya's voice echoed desperately through the trees when the hobbit finally got his sword free and hurriedly climbed the tree Kili and Fili were on. The blonde Durin heir quickly reached down and pulled the hobbit further up by his collar just in time, as the wargs were now gathering at the bottom of the trees, running around and frantically sniffing the air, snarling wildly.

Nobody saw Gandalf reaching out his staff for a small moth before whispering something to it and then letting it fly out into the night sky. He could only hope that help would come fast enough.

All the while, Thorin was clinging to his branch next to Tarya and Balin. He heard Tarya growl angrily and as he glanced over at her, he saw her looking down on the wargs to their feet with an expression that showed an animosity he hadn't seen on her before. "What is it?" he asked, his curiosity getting the better of him.

"They talk," she replied curtly, gripping her branch tighter. Thorin couldn't help his eyebrows rising in surprise. Tarya scowled at him when she saw it. "I used to be a wolf, in case you have forgotten, I understand bloody well what their snarls and growls embody. They're looking forward to tearing us apart. Limb by limb," she told him through gritted teeth. Well, that made her animosity comprehensible, he thought grimly.

Suddenly, the wargs' noises quieted down somehow and Thorin turned around at the sudden strange silence that filled the forest. As he did, he wished he hadn't, for what he saw made his eyes widen in shock. There, coming to stand upon a large boulder, was a white warg and atop him a pale orc that he knew only too well.

"Azog," he breathed. "It cannot be."

He felt Tarya and Balin look over at him worriedly but he couldn't take his eyes off the Defiler when he started to speak in the foul language of his kin. Thorin didn't understand what he was saying; the only thing he caught was his own name and the name of his father. But he didn't need to understand orcish to get the message. The way Azog looked at him and the sneering grin on his face told him that the orc was insulting him, along with his father.

The dwarf-king shook his head slightly, almost to get rid of the picture that spread before him but it remained there as Azog told his soldiers something, pointing at him with the metal claw that was replacing the left arm Thorin had cut off so many years ago, his voice a loud roar at the end of it. And on cue, the wargs came rushing towards them, jumping the trees and trying to get them down.

Thorin stumbled but felt a hand gripping his shoulder tightly and pulling him back to the tree trunk. "They have order to kill us all, except you," he heard Tarya say and couldn't help but growl at the information the Amarok gave him. "They wi – ", her voice broke in the middle of the sentence and Thorin looked over at her questioningly. His brows furrowed when he saw her face. Tarya's eyes were fixed upon the pale orc, her face a mask of pain and rage and the dwarf-king wondered what had caused it.

* * *

_Tarya couldn't finish what she'd wanted to say, the words stuck in her throat._

_She didn't know the orc before her. She didn't know what his story with Thorin was. She didn't know why he was after them. She didn't know what had happened to his arm. But she did know one thing._

_She would rip his guts out._

_The Pale Orc was sitting proudly on his warg, the white fur of the beast shining in the dim moonlight while its rider was observing the scene before him. But that was not what had caught Tarya's attention. No, it was a mat of dark brown fur that the orc was wearing as a loincloth. Dark brown fur that didn't belong to any ordinary animal. Tarya knew the colour, the pattern of lighter and darker spots in it. She would have recognized it anywhere, even in the wan moonlight. Even so many years later. It had been silky and soft last she'd seen it. Now it was matted and stained._

_Suddenly, she felt the same thing she had felt in Goblin Town. She felt rage spreading hot through her body, mixed with a searing pain this time that clenched her heart. It took her a lot of will power not to get lost in the feeling. She wanted to storm forward, sink her daggers into his pale skin and punish him for what he'd done. But she couldn't afford that now. She could never win; she'd probably not even make it far enough to hurt him before his wargs would get her._

_No, she had to concentrate on what was happening around her, when the wargs suddenly managed to uproot some of the trees. Tarya watched with horror as the first tree tilted and fell, causing a horrible domino effect to follow. Fortunately, her companions were quick enough to jump from tree to tree in order to finally land on the last one still upright, which happened to be the one she was on._

_The tree rumbled beneath her grip, dangerously leaning over the abyss so that Tarya could only marvel at the fact that they were not yet falling to their deaths when the last of the other trees crashed into theirs. She saw her companions jumping onto their tree further up and for a moment she spotted Kili's face in the fir needles before he leaped over and landed on a branch near her, along with Bilbo and Fili. She diverted her gaze towards the Pale Orc again, then. He was laughing scornfully._

_Everything was going incredibly fast and Tarya didn't really know where the burning fir cone was coming from that suddenly flew by her head. She looked up and saw Gandalf lighting more cones, giving them to Kili, Fili, Bilbo, Bofur and the others as they threw them down onto the wargs who howled loudly as they scrambled back, fleeing the flames that were now quickly spreading over the forest floor. Some of them weren't fast enough and their bodies were set on fire. Tarya could only watch with wide eyes. Of course, this kept the wargs off but the fire was now also burning down the wood and sure enough, over the yelps and howls, she heard a distinct dark laughter when their tree cracked and crashed onto the floor, leaving them hanging over the edge of the cliff._

_As Tarya looked up, she saw Gandalf leaning over the abyss, his staff the only thing that kept Dori and Ori from falling into the valley, the two of them desperately clinging to it._

_The next thing she heard was a deep growl and for a moment, she couldn't place the sound until she turned her head only just in time to catch a last glimpse of Thorin's boots before he stomped down the tree trunk towards Azog._

_"Thorin!" Balin yelled next to her but the dwarf-king didn't hear or he didn't listen._

_"Bloody fool," Tarya breathed, watching the proud dwarf that had now started running through the burning bushes and trees, his sword high up over his head. She scrambled to her knees, looking over Thorin's head at the Pale Orc who was grinning haughtily. What was the dwarf thinking?! Tarya watched horrified as Azog made his warg jump and Thorin got knocked down. The beast turned around, the Pale Orc striking Thorin with his war hammer before the warg jumped onto the dwarf-king and buried its teeth in his armour._

_Tarya heard the dwarf-king's pained cry._

_"No!" several of the dwarves yelled, Dwalin's voice standing out clearly to the Amarok. "Thorin!"_

_Tarya felt her breath hitch in her throat when the white warg hurled Thorin through the air, the dwarf-king landing on a flat rock, motionless. Suddenly, something – or someone – moved past her on the tree trunk and as she looked up, she saw Bilbo, his sword drawn, moving forward towards the orcs. And finally, something in her snapped._

_"Bilbo!" she yelled, standing up herself, not even hesitating a second before following him. She heard someone scream after her but didn't pay any attention, when she drew her daggers in one swift motion, running behind the hobbit._

_Bilbo lunged at the orc that was walking towards the beaten Thorin, knocking him off his feet. Tarya watched for a second as he stabbed him repeatedly with Sting, before she came to stand defensively in front of the dwarf-king, looking at the Pale Orc with determination. He would not kill another person that was important to her, only over her dead body._

_Azog stopped in his tracks as he watched first Bilbo kill his soldier before he directed his gaze at her. The white warg snarled aggressively and she could only growl in reply, gripping her daggers tighter but not making any other movement, every one of her muscles tensed._

_The Defiler watched her with something that could almost be called interest, when he suddenly sniffed the air, letting out a low groan. "Wolf," he droned, a sneering smirk coming to play around his mouth._

_"Orc," Tarya snarled in reply, letting the rage she had supressed before flow freely through her veins now. She felt her body heat up in an instant and though she didn't know what exactly was happening to her, she felt that it was helpful. She felt strong. She felt powerful._

_"Your scent," he continued, his face now getting an almost appreciative hint to it, not leaving her out of his sight even as Bilbo came to stand beside her, Sting pointed at the approaching orcs. Azog grinned cruelly. "She had the same," he growled, his metal claw grazing the fur he was wearing. She saw something shift in his expression, then. And she knew at once that he wanted her as a trophy as well._

* * *

"She had the same," Kili heard the dark, deep voice of the orc say, before he saw the change in his expression. He was looking at Tarya as if she was a rare prize, now, something he wanted to get his hands on and Kili couldn't wait any longer. He got to his feet and felt the others do the same to his sides. They charged forward, the brunette Durin heir drawing his sword with a fierce battle cry on the lips just as Azog seemingly gave command to attack. That filthy orc would not get his hands on Tarya or his uncle or anyone else. Over his dead body, Kili swore to himself, as he lunged at an orc, sinking his sword into his body.

The rest of the company did the same, slashing and stabbing at orcs and wargs relentlessly.

Kili fought his way towards Tarya, not willing to let her out of his sight. He just had to protect her. He couldn't let her get hurt again. As he found her, she was fighting off wargs, still defending his uncle's motionless body side by side with Bilbo, shouting and growling loudly. As he approached, he saw her fighting with an extreme force he hadn't known she possessed, killing wargs and orcs with nothing more than single strikes. But as he caught sight of her face, he almost stopped dead in his tracks out of surprise. The Amarok's eyes were glowing like burning suns in the darkness. It was an unbelievable and almost scary sight and yet it had something extremely majestic to it. She was standing surrounded by fire and battle like a warrior-goddess, eyes blazing with ire.

Kili lost sight of her for a moment then, merely able to dodge the fangs of a warg and slicing its neck with his sword. He quickly slashed its rider then, feeling something cut his arm before moving forward once more but as Tarya appeared in his vision again, the sight had changed considerably. Bilbo was now down on the floor, lying on his back and scrambling backwards as Azog himself approached him and Tarya on his warg. Kili forced himself to go faster, then, almost in reach of her, seeing his black-haired friend taking a step back when the white warg lunged at her, teeth bared, and in a last attempt raising her dagger to the beast.

"No!" he heard himself scream when suddenly another sound mixed itself into the noise of the battle and his own cry and the loud howl of the white warg as the dagger pierced its upper jaw before it dashed Tarya away from itself, knocking her off her feet.

There was the cawing of birds.

Kili looked up to the sky as tremendous eagles came down, collecting orcs and wargs and throwing them over the edge of the cliff into their deaths and spreading the fire onto their enemies with the flap of their wings.

The young dwarf watched worriedly and yet amazedly as one of the Great Eagles picked up his uncle with its claws, lifting him up into the sky. He hurried over the last metres then, using Azog's distraction as his warg fell to the floor beneath him. He let himself down on his knees as he reached Tarya who was lying on her back on the floor. As he bent over her, his friend's eyes were barely open, the strange glow within them slowly fading, her body limp. Kili saw her arm was bleeding heavily where the warg's teeth had pierced her. He touched her cheek lightly, her skin seeming unusually warm to him.

"I'll have your head if you die on me, you bloody fool, I swear to Mahal," he growled at her and saw a faint smile gracing her face as she closed her eyes before he suddenly felt himself being lifted up by an eagle. The huge bird gripped Tarya in his other claw and took off into the sky.

Kili almost got sick and he felt a loud scream leave his throat when the bird suddenly let him fall, before he safely landed on the back of another eagle next to his brother. He looked up and saw Tarya being carried further by the bird that had just let him fly through the air. He couldn't help the worry spreading in his chest when he saw her motionless body in the bird's claws.

The feeling only increased when he looked over to his brother and followed his gaze, which was fixed upon the eagle that was carrying their uncle.

"Thorin!" Fili yelled but the dwarf-king didn't make a move, his body limp in the claws of the eagle.


	20. Feelings running high

**A new chapter! Whoop!**

**I'm sorry that took so long, I've had a rather unnerving week and couldn't update earlier... So, anyway, I hope you like what you're about to read.**

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**Let me know what you think of the new chapter, I'd really love to read of you guys and now I'll leave you to it :)**

* * *

Kili couldn't get the images of the last hours out of his head. Over and over, he saw his uncle getting knocked down, Tarya and Bilbo risking their lives, Tarya standing in the midst of the battle, the glow of her eyes. He wondered what that had been. What had caused it? Tarya had seemed so… dangerous, was the only thing he could think of. Dangerous and powerful.

They flew over the peaks of mountains, then, over valleys and rivers until Kili could see the sun rising in the sky, shining bright as if the horrors of the night before never had happened. Kili didn't know how long they had been flying when Fili finally spoke up.

"Do you think he – they – will be all right?" he asked and Kili who was sitting behind him, sighed silently, the thought of either of the two unconscious company members actually dying sending a strong ache through his guts. He couldn't imagine life without Thorin and neither could he without Tarya he realized with some surprise.

"I don't know," he muttered into the wind, so that Fili had to concentrate in order to hear him. "But I very much hope so."

They fell silent then and as their flight carried on, Kili thought about how fast Tarya had gained a place in his heart. If he was honest with himself, he couldn't imagine their journey without her anymore and he didn't even really think about her having been a wolf before Rivendell so much anymore. It was a part of her. She was just Tarya and somehow, he felt that she belonged to their side, his subconscious not quite daring to say _his_ side. It was because they were friends, he told himself. He couldn't imagine her dying. He refused to.

Why was he never able to protect her? At that thought, he felt a twinge of anger rising in within him. He was angry with Tarya. Maybe he would be able to protect her if she wouldn't get herself into danger over and over again, he thought. What had she been thinking when she had run against the Defiler on her own?

Suddenly, he felt the eagle beneath him shift silently in the air and soon, they were heading towards a large cliff where some of the company had already been dropped off. Kili saw Thorin lying motionless on the floor as Gandalf hurried towards him, kneeling down and bending over him. Both brothers felt deep worry rumbling in their guts, seeing their uncle like that. Just then, they arrived on the rock themselves and Fili and Kili jumped off the eagle that had carried them. As Kili quickly walked over to his uncle Fili hesitated a moment before he turned around, inclining his head to the Great Eagle in thanks. The animal mirrored his gesture before it left.

Thorin opened his eyes just as Fili came to stand next to his brother and the rest of the company that had by now been dumped on the cliff.

"The Halfling?" he said with a husky voice, looking at the grey wizard worriedly.

"It's all right," Gandalf smiled, letting out a quiet sigh. "Bilbo is here."

As Kili looked up, he saw the hobbit standing a few feet away, a relieved look on his face.

"He is quite safe," Gandalf said and Thorin struggled to get up. Kili quickly bent down to his uncle's left side while Dwalin did the same to his right, helping the dwarf-king to his feet. Thorin shook off their hands with a huff, once he was standing again. He made a few steps towards the hobbit, Bilbo shrinking beneath the dwarf's stern glare.

"You!" he growled. "What were you doing?! You nearly got yourself killed! Did I not say that you would be a burden? That you would not survive in the wild?" With every word, he took a step closer to the poor hobbit that was now looking as if he'd been hit in the stomach, when he heard Thorin's last words, "That you had no place amongst us?"

Kili saw another eagle approaching in the distance in the corner of his eye but he couldn't pay attention to it. He just wanted to tell his uncle that he was not right saying something like that to Bilbo. The hobbit had saved his life, for Mahal's sake! He exchanged a look with his brother who slightly shook his head at him, although he looked just as displeased as Kili felt.

But then, Thorin's next words surprised every one of them.

"I have never been _so_ wrong," he breathed, taking a final step towards Bilbo and wrapping him in a fierce hug. "In all my life!"

Cheers erupted from the company as they patted each other's backs, relieved and happy smiles on all their faces.

"I'm sorry I doubted you," Thorin mumbled, squeezing the hobbit's shoulders before he let go of him.

"Oh, no," Bilbo muttered, "I would have doubted me, too. I'm not a hero. Or a warrior." He shot Gandalf a pointed look. "Not even a burglar."

Bilbo looked around then, a smile on his face, as he wanted to talk to Tarya. He wanted to thank her for fighting alongside him, for believing in him but he couldn't see her in the little crowd before him. "Where is – " he started but his question was drowned in the loud caw of an eagle and Kili's worried cry.

"Tarya!" the brunette dwarf yelled, jogging forward to where the eagle now gently laid the Amarok onto the floor.

"Oh dear," Bilbo heard Gandalf murmur as the wizard hurried forward, crouching beside Tarya and Kili who was kneeling next to her head. Thorin felt worry spreading in his stomach as he stepped closer as well, hearing the company erupt in concerned murmurs behind him, looking at the girl's form. She was beaten and bruised. Her right sleeve was ripped and underneath he could see a deep wound on her arm, dried blood all around it. She had a few scratches on her face but the injury on her forehead had disappeared by now. Thorin remembered distinctly how her back had looked after Goblin Town and he couldn't help but wonder whether that wound was gone, too. He didn't know what had happened to her during the fight with Azog but he was quite sure that it had happened while she had been defending him alongside Bilbo. He remembered having seen the silhouettes of the two before he had fallen into unconsciousness.

Gandalf placed one hand over her forehead when Kili spoke up. "The white warg bit her," he said agitatedly. "When she was fighting Azog. It dashed her away, she… she was –" but Gandalf cut him off with a mild glance.

"I know, Kili," he murmured. "I have seen it."

Kili understood quite well that with 'it', the wizard didn't really mean her being bitten by the warg but rather her state when she had been fighting. He swallowed dryly when he took in Gandalf's stern expression.

Tarya opened her eyes as the wizard withdrew his hand from her forehead.

* * *

_As Tarya opened her eyes, she immediately clenched them shut again, the sun blinding her painfully. She tried to move then, a pained groan leaving her throat. Was there one part of her body that didn't ache?_

_"Slowly, now," she heard Gandalf say soothingly and as she opened her eyes again, she saw his face looming over her, his gaze speaking of worry but also relief._

_"Thorin?" she asked, trying to sit up and feeling a strong hand supporting her back as she did so. Gandalf nodded at her. "Bilbo?" she continued, clenching her eyes shut from the pain that shot through her as she came into a sitting position. There had to be some sort of injury on her torso, she thought._

_"He is perfectly fine," Gandalf told her, "They all are."_

_Tarya felt a relieved sigh leaving her throat as she opened her eyes again and looked around. And indeed, she saw the whole company standing a few feet away from her, sending her worried looks but also happy smiles and a little smile grew on her own lips as she saw the kind familiar faces._

_"What were you thinking?" Thorin's voice growled and her smile faltered as she raised her head to see him standing behind Gandalf. "You could have been killed, you foolish girl."_

_"You're one to talk," Tarya huffed, her smile disappearing completely as she accepted Kili's arm around her waist, leaning heavily against him as she forced herself to stand up. "And I am not a foolish girl."_

_"You risked your life for a feud you had no part in," the dwarf-king said loudly, glancing over at Bilbo, for the words also applied to him, "that seems like the deed of a fool to me."_

_"I am not a fool for saving a friend's life!" Tarya shouted, not able to contain her anger anymore. She'd had enough for one day. "And I did not do it because of your feud with that bloody orc! I didn't even know you **had** a feud with him until you stomped off into your certain death like the bloody stubborn dwarf you are! You would be dead by now if it hadn't been for Bilbo and I, so don't you dare call me a fool. Believe it or not, I act of my own will, Thorin Oakenshield, for my **own** reasons. I am an Amarok! I have honour! I have pride and I have loyalty and I would rather have died than let that filthy orc get away with what he has done."_

_Thorin looked at her rather stupefied, obviously not sure how to react to her sudden outburst. She felt her companions' questioning eyes on her and she sighed heavily. She really didn't feel like talking about this right now, so she pushed herself off Kili who let go of her reluctantly and walked towards the edge of the cliff before letting herself plump down on the floor._

_She heard mumbling behind her but she didn't pay any attention to it. Gandalf ordered them to get their injuries tended to, so they would be able to climb down the Carrock – as she now heard him call the cliff – later today. Oin came over to her after a while and she let him put some ointment on her arm and wrap it in a tight bandage, before he tended to the few scratches on her face and the bruises on her ribs. He was rather confused when he saw that the wounds from Goblin Town had already vanished but she couldn't bring herself to discuss it. She thanked him and he patted her shoulder lightly, telling her that she ought to be more careful from now on before he left her alone again._

_As she looked down into the valley, she couldn't help the Defiler's words echoing in her thoughts._

_'Your scent. She had the same.'_

_He had known exactly what kind of fur he was wearing and he had cruelly made that clear to her. She had known that her mother was dead but to know now that she had been killed by an orc that was wearing her fur like a trophy was simply sickening. This wasn't right. Her mother had been kind and loving. Wise and strong. She had not deserved a fate like this and Tarya didn't want to imagine how her life had ended. She didn't want to know what that orc had done to her._

_She didn't know how long she'd been sitting by herself, lost in a trail of thoughts that brought her nothing but pain and anger, feet dangling over the edge, when she felt someone sit down next to her._

_"What happened on that battlefield?"_

_Well, someone wasn't beating around the bush, she thought. But she wasn't in the mood to talk to him. She didn't want him to concern himself with her sorrow. Tarya didn't look at Kili when she answered. "It doesn't matter now."_

_She heard him sigh silently, before he spoke again and she heard that he was trying to keep his voice down, knowing that he was angry with her, frustrated probably. "It matters to me, Tarya." She looked over at him, meeting his gaze for a moment. He looked at her worriedly. "Something has changed," he muttered and she felt his gaze on her as she lowered her eyes again, looking down into the valley. "I have seen you fight, even if it was only in training," Kili continued. "But this time was different, Tarya. You were different."_

_"How?" she asked, avoiding his piercing gaze._

_"It was as if you were… pure rage," he muttered hesitantly. "You were merciless, strong and… and powerful. Your eyes were glowing as if they were ablaze. And when I touched you, your skin was hot like fire."_

_Tarya took in the information. She didn't know what had happened to her body, really. She only knew that what Kili was telling her matched the feelings she'd had when it happened. She had felt like a hot mess of ire and pain but incredibly powerful, like nothing could stop her. Like she could have moved the earth if she had wanted to. But it had also been exhausting like nothing she had experienced before._

_"What has he done?" Kili asked softly and Tarya looked up into his warm brown eyes, which were searching her own._

* * *

Kili was looking into his friend's golden eyes and saw that she was hesitating. She was straining to keep herself together, he could tell. It was clear that Azog was the reason for the rage in her but there was not only rage in those amber orbs. Kili could see an enormous amount of pain and sadness and it almost broke his heart not to know what was going on with her. He needed to know. Maybe he could help her. Finally, it seemed like she was about to say something, but then she frowned and averted her gaze, shaking her head.

"It's nothing you have to concern yourself with."

"How am I supposed to help you if you don't talk to me?" Kili asked, straining to keep his frustration out of his voice.

"You are not supposed to help me," she replied stubbornly. "You should not care so mu – "

Kili cut her off with a loud snort, his temper getting the better of him. "But that's what friends do, Tarya, for Durin's sake! I care about your well-being, I care about _you_ and I don't understand how you could risk your life _so_ easily. If it weren't for the eagles, you would be dead. If you'd only been a little bit slower, you would be missing your arm by now and you would have bled to death on the cold forest floor. And there would have been nothing I could have done." His voice was rising with every word he said and he hadn't even realized when he had gotten to his feet but he found himself now glaring down at Tarya who looked like she'd been hit. "So, even if you don't tell me what Azog has done to make you react the way you did, I would like a little advance warning the next time you run off and almost get yourself killed without caring about yourself or me or _anyone_, because then I could at least **try** to protect you."

"I don't need your protection, Kili! I can very well take care of my own," she growled at him, scrambling to her feet and turning on her heels but Kili grabbed her wrist and jerked her back before he could think better of it.

"Oh yes, that's why your arm got pierced by bloody warg teeth," he said, voice dripping with sarcasm. She was glaring daggers at him and he could imagine that his expression looked exactly the same. He was breathing heavily, telling himself to calm down for Durin's sake but with little success. He knew the others were watching them, all around them the chatting had stopped and made room for a distinct silence. He hadn't actually planned for his conversation with Tarya to escalate like that when he had sat down next to her a few minutes before.

"Let go," she growled lowly, "now."

He held gaze with her for a moment before he finally managed to bite back his anger for a second and abruptly let go of her wrist.

"And don't you dare accuse me of not caring about anyone ever again," she grumbled lowly and Kili frowned as a strange expression flashed across her face. "You don't know what you are talking about."

Thorin's voice suddenly cut through the heavy silence that had settled on the cliff.

"Get ready, we will descend into the valley!"

Thorin watched as the Amarok turned her back on his youngest nephew, anger written all over her usually soft features. Kili scowled at her back before he clenched his eyes shut for a moment, taking a deep breath. Fili came to stand by his side just as he released it again. Thorin couldn't hear what the blonde dwarf was telling his younger brother but he saw Kili sigh heavily before he nodded.

The descent was harder than Kili had imagined. Massive stair-like carvings led down the Carrock, most of them so high even Gandalf had trouble climbing down. They resolved to teamwork, then. Always two dwarfs going ahead and then helping the next two down from the upper ledge. Kili found himself next to his brother, Oin and Gloin helping the two of them down, while the two Durin heirs were supporting Bofur and Bifur. Kili couldn't help but glance at Tarya ever now and then who struggled with every ledge due to her ribs and her arm. She was further up, being helped by Dwalin and Bombur. Kili saw her pained expression every time she had to put pressure on either of her injuries to climb down, which only made him more frustrated with her stubborn behaviour. But he couldn't talk to her now. Not that she would have listened to him, anyway, she was pointedly ignoring his existence, although Kili was sure she felt his gaze every time he looked at her, for her expression hardened slightly each time. Fili had told him to calm down, that she needed time and that she would surely come to him, once she was ready to talk. Kili knew his brother was probably right but that didn't mean he had to like it.

It took them half of the day until they finally found themselves on grass again, the Carrock reaching up behind them.

"We will continue on until we find somewhere we can shelter for the rest of the day," Thorin announced, knowing that every member of his company was exhausted, tired and some even injured and that they desperately needed a break. So he led them on with Gandalf at his side. It took them longer than he had wished and the sun was already setting again when they finally found themselves on the edge of a copse, a small river purling through the bushes behind it. They would have enough shelter here, the dwarf-king thought, and they could take a bath in the river, which was definitely needed for all of them if he was to be honest.

"We camp here," Thorin called out, turning around just in time to see most members of the company slumping down on the spot where they stood. As they set up camp, Bombur started to cook with what little was left from their trials of the last hours. They had lost most of their provisions in Goblin Town.

Thorin glanced over his companions as he sat down next to Gandalf and Balin who were having a little conversation on their own, his gaze lingering on the black-haired woman that was quietly talking to Bilbo. He looked over towards his youngest nephew who sat with his brother on the opposite side of the camp, a grim expression on his youthful face.

"They will sort everything out eventually," Gandalf murmured next to him and Thorin slightly shook his head.

"That shall not be my concern. Kili was right with what he said, though," the dwarf-king muttered, watching some of the dwarves gathering a few things to go for a bath in the stream. "She should not have risked her life so carelessly."

"Oh, but I am sure she had good reason when she ran against Azog, Thorin," Gandalf replied. "Just as you did. And she was well able to stand her ground against the Pale Orc, if I may add. As it is, I might even go as far and say that Tarya and yourself have more things in common than you may think."

Thorin frowned at the wizard who was hiding his face behind a curtain of smoke from his pipe. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean what I mean. It is not my place to tell someone else's stories," Gandalf responded. Thorin thought of questioning the wizard further but he knew that would lead to little or no valuable answers at all, so he kept quiet and glanced over at Tarya again who was just getting up from her spot next to the hobbit. Maybe he should take the wizard's hint and have a talk with the Amarok. He ought to learn more about her, anyway, considering how little he actually knew about this particular company member.

* * *

_Tarya smiled at Bilbo as she got up, grabbed her bag and made to leave the camp. The sun was still up, although starting to go down on the horizon, dipping the sky in a beautiful rosy red colour. Bilbo had been the only member of the company that she had talked to since they had left the Carrock behind them. The hobbit had quite a way with her, she thought amusedly, he knew when it was wiser to leave her to herself, which he had done until he had deemed it time to try and speak to her again. And he also knew how to talk to her, avoiding the topic she so obviously didn't want to talk about. Bilbo was sensitive, he could tell that she didn't want to or couldn't talk about what had happened on the field against Azog and he had the decency not to push her._

_Why couldn't Kili do that? Why couldn't he just have left her alone instead of arguing with her? She knew he was mad at her for going to fight Azog on her own but she couldn't quite comprehend why. She had had not much problem defending herself, after all. Sure, towards the end things had begun to become a bit more delicate but she had killed the bloody white warg, had she not? She had won. And what had she been supposed to do in his opinion, anyway? Let Bilbo fight a pack of orcs all by himself? Let the bloody pale orc just get away with what he had done to her mother? After he had dishonoured, **defiled** her, wearing her fur like a worthless rug? No. That was not a possibility._

_As she emerged from the bushes, she found herself on the bank of the little stream she had been heading to. A bath was most welcome to her right now after what she had been through. She was dirty, she smelled and she needed to get rid of both. She quickly undressed in the shadow of the trees, and then swiftly cleaned her clothes as best she could, laying them out on the dry floor, before she slowly walked into the water until she was in up to the top of her belly. A small sigh left her as she tilted her head back, dipping her hair in the water, which was rather cold but she didn't care._

_She didn't dare go further until she couldn't feel the ground beneath the surface anymore. She could swim – at least she could when she was a wolf – but she didn't really want to test her human swimming skills, having too much respect of the water, although the stream was only flowing in slow waves around her body._

_She started cleaning herself, then, trying to shut down her circling thoughts for a few moments, which worked until she rubbed her arm to rid it from the dirt of the journey and her eyes fell on the bandage Oin had wrapped around it. Sighing slightly, she unwrapped it and took a look at the wound that rested there. The warg's tooth had practically pierced her but she could see that it was already starting to heal. That was at least one little advantage of being an Amarok, even when the rest of her being was marked with nothing but confusion, anger, pain, sorrow and loneliness at the moment. It was just too much she thought and felt her throat tighten, fighting the small sob that was trying to escape her. But it didn't work and soon, she felt the first tear stream down her face._

_Tarya didn't know how long she had been in the water, crying to herself, but as she looked up to the sky, she could see that the sun had almost vanished behind the treetops. She quickly made her way out of the stream, putting on a few spare clothes from her bag before she gathered the ones she had laid out on the floor. They were almost dry by now. She then grabbed her bag and made to head for the camp again, wiping her hand over her face to get rid of the traces of her tears, not wanting anyone to see it, but as she turned around, she stopped dead in her tracks._

_Kili was just making his way out of the bushes, his stern gaze settling on her just as her hand was sinking down from her face again. He looked her up and down for a moment before the frown on his face faded slightly and gave way to a more concerned expression._

_"You have been gone quite a while," he finally said, his voice unusually reserved. "Is everything all right?"_

_She huffed slightly, averting her gaze. "No need to worry about me, as I have told you earlier."_

_"Yes, you've made yourself quite clear," he immediately retorted, annoyance clear in his voice, although the concern in his eyes didn't falter. His gaze was fixated on her face._

_"And still you came after me now," she couldn't help but point out, stubbornly keeping her gaze away from him._

_Kili kept quiet for a moment, eyeing her intently. "I couldn't help myself," he finally muttered, seemingly displeased with the notion himself. His words left a strange warm feeling in her stomach and she suddenly felt a twinge of guilt rush through her. Why couldn't she just tell him about her mother? What was making this so difficult, she asked herself? But if she was honest, she knew the reason. She didn't want him to see her like this, even though she knew he was her friend and he only wanted to help. She didn't want him to know she had been crying but with every second he was standing there and she had to keep her composure, she could feel herself getting closer to breaking down again._

_"Well," she mumbled, trying to keep her voice steady. "As you can see, I am perfectly fine. You can go back to the camp."_

_When he didn't answer, Tarya raised her gaze and looked at him defiantly, scowling when he did the exact opposite of what she told him, instead stepping closer towards her._

_"You're not fine," he observed worriedly, coming to stand only a few steps away from her._

_Tarya clenched her eyes shut for a moment, trying to pull herself together. "I am. Just leave, Kili."_

_"No," was all he said before he pulled her towards him and wrapped his arms around her. Tarya tried to push him away but found that he was too strong, when he pulled her against him even further, trapping her arms between her chest and his. "I won't leave you alone."_

_She felt her barriers break when he mumbled those words into her hair and a quiet sob left her throat._


	21. A place to belong

**A new chapter. Wheep :D**

**_Doodler100_****: Mwaha, well, I like the feels to just surprise you and knock you down, that's how it works :D I'm wondering how you'll find this chapter :D**

**_Dis Thrainsdotter_****: You're absolutely right and Tarya and Thorin will have some time to discuss a few things quite soon, we will see how that turns out :D**

**_SociallyAwkwardDreamer327_****: First review ever?! Oh god, I feel so honored :D Thank you! I'm glad you like the story. And yes, I really wanted Kili and Tarya to be friends before anything else could happen because I'm just not really a fan of oh-hey-I've-never-seen-you-before-and-I-don't-even -know-your-name-but-you're-the-love-of-my-life-thi ngies. There had to be some sort of connection first :D**

**Also thank you so much to ****_Mistflower21_****, ****_Beloved_****_Daughter_**** and ****_DwarvenWarrior_**** for your reviews! I love reading them and they really keep my motivation up!**

**And also thanks to the people who followed and favorited and just wheeew!**

**And now read :D**

* * *

Kili felt Tarya slump against him as she started crying and he tightened his hold around her, not quite knowing what to say. But then again, maybe he shouldn't say anything for once and so he just resolved to embrace her tightly and kept quiet, bringing one hand up to softly stroke her hair while she cried into his shoulder. It broke his heart, hearing her muffled sobs against his tunic and feeling her body tremble in his arms. Why couldn't she just tell him what was going on? Was it really so hard for her to understand that he cared about her and that he only wanted to help her?

He knew that he had been rather harsh with her before and probably a bit unfair, as well, his temper simply getting the better of him. But still. It would have made everything so much easier if she just talked to him.

They stood together like that for a while, her enveloped in his arms and Kili couldn't tell for how long exactly when her sobs were slowly starting to fade. He felt her grip the fabric that was covering his chest lightly, sniffing a few more times until she finally pulled back a little and looked up at him, her face flushed and her golden eyes red from all the crying.

"You took a bath," she mumbled hoarsely and he gave her a small smile, wiping the last traces of her tears softly off her cheeks with the back of his fingers before he placed one hand on her cheek.

"Well, a prince can't go around smelling like a whole horde of pigs, can he?" he teased slightly and saw a faint smile gracing her lips, before he continued cautiously. "Will you tell me what's causing you so much sorrow?" he asked her, his voice barely more than a whisper. "Please?"

She sighed heavily and inclined her head, almost as if in defeat. Her gaze settled on the collar of his tunic while she was absentmindedly pulling on a string there. Kili placed his free hand over hers to still her nervous fumbling, pressing it lightly to his chest. "Tarya…" he muttered, urging softly, fearing that if he raised his voice too much, it would destroy the feeling of calm that had settled in between them.

"Do you remember when I…" she hesitated a moment, her voice still a bit raspy from her crying. "… When I told you about my mother?"

Kili frowned a bit at her but she didn't see it because her gaze was still firmly set upon where her hand had been fumbling with his string, which had been replaced with his hand covering hers. "I do," he answered lowly, waiting for her to continue.

She did so after another moment of silent hesitation. "Do you remember what I said?" she asked him quietly, clenching her teeth for a second. "That I didn't know what happened to her?"

"I do," he repeated, observing her face intently.

"I know now," she whispered and the raw pain in her voice sent a deep ache through his chest.

He didn't rush her. Kili waited patiently, slightly squeezing her hand that felt so small in his own and bringing his other hand up to tuck a few strands of her hair behind her ear before he placed it back on her cheek, hoping to give her some comfort. He watched her close her eyes for a moment before she continued.

"She was killed," Tarya said, her hand fisting his tunic underneath his grip. "Murdered by the Pale Orc."

Kili's brows furrowed immediately when she said that but she went on before he could question her, almost as if she had to get it all out now that she had started, before she could back down.

"My mother was so kind, Kili," she continued in a low mumble, staring at his chest. "She was strong and wise and loving. And she was beautiful, too. She taught me everything I know. How to survive on my own, how to lead my life as a wolf of the Amarok. How every creature has a life and a spirit worth respecting…"

Kili could see how much it hurt her to tell him about this and he wanted nothing more than to pull her in his arms and comfort her. But all he could do was listen to her soft voice in the settling darkness as she allowed him to see more of her soul than she had ever let him before.

"She was the only one I had, Kili, and knowing that she died was one thing… But knowing that her life – the life of a creature so dignified – was ended by a filthy orc that is now wearing her fur like a rug, a cheap trophy of his own cruelty is… I- I can't bear it. I owe my mother everything and now she's gone and… and I'm just so _alone_, Kili," she said agitatedly, gripping his tunic tighter, so that he almost stumbled towards her, and he could see that she was on the brink of crying again, her eyes glimmering with unshed tears. "I have been alone for a very, very long time. It's part of being what I am. And I didn't mind, really. I didn't think about my mother often and I didn't think about the fact that I had a lonely life but when I saw that orc wearing her fur, I couldn't help myself, Kili. I had to fight him; he couldn't just get away with what he did to her. And then I saw Bilbo running towards him and Thorin was lying on the floor and… I couldn't let Azog hurt anyone else I care about. I needed to fight him. I _still_ _do_."

She closed her mouth then and clenched her teeth together, scowling at his collar. Kili waited until she raised her gaze and looked him in the eyes, her gaze full of uncertainty.

"I'm so sorry," he said quietly and he really was, not only for her mother. Tarya frowned slightly, lowering her gaze again and he continued quietly. "For shouting at you up on the Carrock. For saying you didn't care about anyone when you ran against Azog. You were caring about _everyone_. I understand that now."

He finally let go of her hand on his chest and lifted both his hands to her shoulders, squeezing slightly. "I cannot possibly imagine how it must be to spend the majority of one's life alone but I can tell you one thing, Tarya. And that is that you are not alone anymore. Nor will you ever be again, if you don't wish so. You have me now," he said and quickly continued in the same breath, "And Fili, Bilbo and all the others. Mahal, even Dwalin cares for you and he's not exactly the most affectionate kind of dwarf."

Tarya smiled slightly but still looked a bit uneasy.

"But you have to understand something, too," he continued, bringing one hand to her chin to tilt it up, so she was forced to look into his eyes when he told her what he needed her to hear. "You are part of our company. And we all care about each other. We're friends. We protect each other. So please know that this applies to you, too, even if I'm aware that you don't particularly like it."

He couldn't quite tell what she was thinking when she looked at him with her peculiar eyes that looked the colour of a rich vein of gold.

"Do you trust me?" he asked her quietly, unconsciously letting his thumb stroke over her cheekbone. Tarya nodded slowly, looking at him as if she were under a spell. "Then please don't shut me out. Talk to me and let me help you if I can, and I promise you that Azog will be rightfully punished for what he has done when the time comes."

* * *

_Tarya wasn't sure what to do. She felt Kili's warm touch on her cheek and it comforted her in a way that she didn't understand. She saw the deep honesty in which he spoke in his dark brown eyes and she couldn't help but feel sheltered._

_He was right. She wasn't alone anymore. Even though she had lost her mother, she was less alone than ever. She had become part of a company, she had gained friends. And then there was this one particular dwarf right in front of her to which she had committed herself. She hadn't thought about this part of their relationship in a while because she still didn't quite know what it embodied but she slowly came to believe that maybe – just maybe – it meant she had finally found somewhere to belong._

_And for that it was probably worth letting her guards down, she thought. It was worth letting Kili in._

_She finally brought herself to nod, although she still couldn't avert her gaze from the deep brown of his eyes. It was like he was an anchor, helping her to find her way back to calm in the horrible swirling of her thoughts._

_Kili smiled at her then, a gentle and bright smile that she couldn't help but return, even if hers was not as bright as his. But then again, she had never seen anyone with a smile as bright and contagious as Kili's, she thought to herself. He pulled her into his body again then, wrapping his arms around her and she returned his hug, putting her arms around his waist. She felt him press a small kiss to her head but before she could think about the gesture, a loud voice reached her ears._

_"Oi! What in Durin's name is keeping you so long? Seriously, you send someone to look for another and suddenly, they're both untraceable."_

_Tarya turned her head to see Fili fighting off a twig that had tangled in his sleeve. He got rid of it with a huff and looked at them, his eyebrows rising as he took in their position._

_"Oh, well," he grinned. "I'm not interrupting anything, am I?"_

_Kili quickly let go of her and they both took a step back from each other, Tarya feeling an uncomfortable heat rise into her cheeks, even though there was really nothing to be embarrassed about, she told herself. Fili's grin widened ever so slightly but he didn't say anything as his brother sent him a dirty glare, followed by a look that Tarya couldn't quite decipher. But Fili seemed to be all over it, since his expression lost a bit of its mischief._

_"You're not," Kili stated. "We were merely sorting out our…"_

_"Cat fight?" Fili provided and Tarya rolled her eyes at him, gathering her things once again._

_"Argument," Kili finished, shoving his brother's shoulder when he walked past him. Tarya followed swiftly, sticking her tongue out at the blonde dwarf who chuckled lightly behind her._

_"Well, I'm glad you sorted it out," she heard him say and Tarya looked at him over her shoulder, hearing a slight reservation in his voice._

_"But?" she asked and Fili blinked at her, a look of defeat on his face._

_"But… I have lost two gold coins to Bofur, thanks to you."_

_She turned to fully face him now, walking backwards behind Kili who snorted quietly to himself._

_"You took bets on whether we would make up with each other?" she asked him incredulously, annoyance written all over her face._

_Fili shook his head but she could see that he was trying to supress a grin that was threatening to spread on his lips. "No, no, never," he said solemnly and she raised an eyebrow at the blonde dwarf. "The odds to that would have been quite one-sided. We took bets on __**when**__ you would resolve your fight. I said not before tomorrow but here you go, cuddling on a riverbank not even a day later."_

_"We were not – ," she cut herself off and turned her back on him when she saw the mischievous glint turn back in his eyes. "You are incorrigible."_

_Kili shot her a glance over his shoulder. "That's my brother for you," he smiled at her annoyed face._

_"Well, you're brother is a moron," she announced just as they stepped back into the camp, tearing the companions' attention towards them._

_"Never a truer word spoken, lass," Bofur laughed from his spot and Tarya chuckled lightly when Fili let out an indignant 'Oi!'. The merry dwarf with his fur hat grinned at the blonde Durin and held out his hand in silent demand. Tarya heard Fili sigh deeply before he walked past her and tossed two gold coins into Bofur's open hand._

_Tarya walked over to where Bilbo was sitting with a bowl of stew on his bedroll. She sent the hobbit a smile when she sat down and Bilbo returned the gesture._

_"Here," Kili came to stand before her and as she looked up at him, she saw that he was carrying two bowls in his hands. "You must be hungry," he said, handing her one of them. She thanked him, before he turned around to join his brother on the other side of the fire that was by now warming the company in the settling night. Tarya watched his retreating form as she took a spoonful of the stew, only now realizing how hungry she actually was._

_This evening wasn't filled with the usual cheerful chatter of the dwarves, for they all were too tired to tell stories or to sing, as they sometimes did. It didn't take long after dinner until they all went to sleep, Gandalf offering to take watch, releasing Thorin from doing it himself, which the dwarf-king had actually planned on doing. But even Tarya could see that the proud dwarf was on his limits, even if she knew he'd never admit it openly._

_Tarya herself felt the very same way. Her body was aching and she was glad to finally catch up on the lost sleep. She lay down on her spot next to Bilbo who was already fast asleep, curled into a small ball, his hands tightly buried in his pockets, probably to keep them warm during the night, she thought, glancing at the hobbit a last time before she closed her eyes, burying her face in the warmth of her coat._

_Tarya didn't know how long she had been trying to fall asleep when she finally gave up and opened her eyes again. She didn't know what was wrong. She was tired enough to sleep through a whole day but somehow, something didn't feel quite right and she couldn't sleep. She would have blamed it on the fact that she was still troubled by the last day's events but the talk with Kili had really helped her with that – at least for now – so that couldn't be it. It had been good to get her thoughts off her chest and his response to it had really calmed her. So, what was keeping her from sleeping?_

_She slowly sat up, looking around the camp. The fire was still alight, although a bit smaller now and Tarya wondered how far through the night already was. She saw Gandalf sitting on a boulder nearby, puffing on his pipe in the darkness, seemingly deeply lost in thought. As her gaze wandered, it suddenly halted on the form of Kili who was turning around in his sleep as if he couldn't find a comfortable position to stay in. And then, she had an idea of what felt strange about this evening and what was possibly keeping her from sleeping._

_The Amarok slowly got up, gathering her bedroll and the cloak she was using as a blanket from the floor and quietly made her way through the camp over to where the brunette dwarf was lying. She met Gandalf's blue-eyed gaze halfway through camp and stopped in her tracks, when she saw his knowing gaze on her. The wizard observed her a second, before his gaze swept to Kili for another moment. When he next looked at her, he had a gentle smile on his face and Tarya returned it slightly, not quite knowing what to think of the strange twinkle in the wizard's eyes. But she shrugged it off and took the last steps until she was standing next to the dwarf she had aimed to._

_Laying out her bedroll next to his, she quickly lay down, covered her body with her cloak and closed her eyes. Yes – she thought, feeling Kili's warmth next to her – that was better._

_But Kili was still tossing and turning next to her, so she instinctively reached out and grabbed his hand, opening her eyes confusedly when the dwarf suddenly twitched and then stopped moving altogether. When she looked over, she saw herself confronted with his dark gaze in the murk of night. He didn't say anything, squeezing her hand before he turned around so they were facing each other. There was something strange in his expression, Tarya thought but she couldn't quite decipher it before it gave way to a slightly worried expression, confusing her even more. And then it suddenly vanished completely when he gave her a small smile, as if he had just wiped it off his face._

_She returned his smile slightly as he let go of her hand and she brought it up to tuck it under her head, wondering what he had been thinking about just before. All the while, she couldn't look away from Kili who was observing her silently. It was a bit awkward, she thought, and she was a bit embarrassed for coming to sleep next to him as if she were a fearful child. But then again, they usually slept next to each other, so she couldn't really be embarrassed for that, could she? It was normal and she just somehow felt more at ease here next to him than before beside Bilbo, although she couldn't tell why._

_"Good night," she whispered, unwilling to think about the topic any further and she quickly closed her eyes._

_She heard him shuffle a bit before his soft voice reached her ears. "Sleep well, Tarya," was the last thing she heard before she finally sank into the welcoming arms of unconsciousness._

* * *

Kili awoke early the next morning to the feeling of something tickling his face. He wrinkled his nose slightly, cracking one eye open, only to stare right into a mass of black hair. The young dwarf frowned deeply. What…? He couldn't finish the thought as he felt a body pressed to his front. He quickly jerked his head back, only now realizing that he was holding Tarya in his arms and that he had pressed her back flush against his chest, one of his hands sprawled on her stomach.

He immediately retrieved his hand as soon as his brain had caught up to the situation, awkwardly shuffling a bit backwards until their bodies were no longer touching. It was then that he heard an amused chuckle behind him.

"Want to tell me again that you were not cuddling?" Fili grinned as his younger brother sat up to face him, a slightly flustered look on his face.

"I just- I didn't… Oh, shut up," he grumbled, gracing his brother with an annoyed look as his grin widened. Looking around the camp, Kili was relieved that only a few others were getting up just now and apparently none of them had seen him sleeping – well, cuddling, really – with Tarya. Apart from Fili, of course, who somehow managed to always see everything that was even just slightly embarrassing him. His relief was short-lived though, when he met the light blue gaze of a pair of astute eyes across the camp.

He swallowed hard as Gandalf stared him down and Kili couldn't tell what the wizard was thinking at all. He looked just as much as if he were about to congratulate someone on his birthday, as he did like he wanted to knock him out with his staff.

Kili averted his gaze when he heard a low groan next to him and he looked over at Tarya who was stretching her limbs lazily, blinking up into the sky where the morning sun was shining down upon them. He could only hope that she hadn't noticed their position during her sleep. He wondered just for how much of the night they had actually spent in this position.

"Slept well, milady?" Fili chuckled from where he sat on his boulder and Tarya shot him a rather confused look while Kili sent a warning one at the same time. "Nice and warm?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, I slept wonderfully," she smiled then and Fili smirked slightly, raising his eyebrows at Kili.

"Do you hear that brother? She slept wonderfully," he grinned and Kili resisted the urge to roll his eyes at him.

"Yes, that's great," he said, sending Tarya a smile that she returned brightly. He felt his heart flutter at the sight, just as it had done the night before when he had woken up to her holding his hand. And just as the night before, as nice as the feeling might be, it had worry spread through him like a paralyzing poison. He didn't know why his body was acting like this all of a sudden but he knew one thing.

This couldn't be good.


	22. Meeting Beorn

**Aaand here's another chapter for you lovely people! I wasn't quite sure where to cut this, so it is quite a bit longer than usual but I think you won't mind :D** **I just wanted to finish the first night at Beorn's with one chapter, so there you go.**

**_happypills27_: And I love having Fili tease them :D Kili should really get back at him sometime for that, you're right :D**

**_Yougurholic_: Yes, Kili is finally starting to feel a little something, although he isn't very comfortable with it. And I can tell you that she won't stay human forever, I have something planned for her :D**

**_Doodler100_: Haha, yeah, _who_ would imagine themselves in Kili's arms? I mean, that's just crazy. xD And yes, dwarves and their bets. It just goes together :D**

**_Teshka_: Well, apparently, Kili is not quite comfortable with his developping feelings, but hey, I'm the author here, he'll come around eventually, I'd guess :D**

**Thank you guys so much for your reviews and also thanks to _kaia_, for your guest review! I really appreciated and loved reading all of them! :)**

**And as always, thanks for following and favoriting this story!**

**Now read the chapter and let me know whether you liked it or not and everything else you'd like to tell me :D**

* * *

They departed later than usual this morning and Kili tried to push his strange thoughts and feelings back to a corner of his mind when the company started out on the road again, not willing to dig deeper into them. He was not walking far behind his uncle and Gandalf when they started to discuss how to proceed with their journey. He had been listening silently to Nori who was telling Tarya some stories of his days in the Blue Mountains but directed his attention towards the wizard when he spoke up.

"Well," Gandalf said, "I always meant to see you all safe over the mountains, which I have done by good management and no small amount of good luck. I am further east now that I ever meant to come with you, after all, this is not my adventure but yours." The dwarves protested a bit at that but Gandalf cut them off. "I may look into it again before it is all over but for now, I have other more pressing business that I need to attend to."

Kili didn't miss the short look he shot Tarya at that and he frowned deeply at the wizard, wondering what this business of his might be.

"I am not going to disappear this very instant, don't you worry," he told them. "I can give you some more time. We have no food, and we lost most of our baggage, we have no ponies to ride and you don't know where you are."

"And you do?" Thorin interfered a bit grumpily, not happy hearing about the wizard's plans of leaving them soon.

"Indeed, I do." Gandalf replied, ignoring the dwarf-king's annoyed tone of voice, as he did most of the time. "You are still some miles north from the path we should have been following. Very few people live in these parts but I know of _somebody_ who lives not far away. The one who made the steps on the great rock we climbed down yesterday – the Carrock, as he calls it. He does not come here often, however and certainly not in daylight. It would not be wise to wait for him. No, we must go and find him; and if all goes well, I think I will be off and wish you farewell for the time being."

"But you can't just leave us!" Dori called out, saying what they were probably all thinking. The dwarves looked rather upset at the thought of not having the wizard there at all time to help them out of trouble and Bilbo in particular looked positively miserable.

"As I said, Master Dori, I have important business that cannot wait any longer," Gandalf replied a bit crossly, obviously not happy with the way they were nagging about his plans. Some of them begged him to stay then, offering him dragon-gold but the wizard wouldn't change his mind and it would have surprised Kili if he had. As he had come to know the wizard, he stood with a decision once he had taken it. "We shall see, we shall see," he said, waving their pleas off, "and I think I have earned some of your dragon-gold already – when you get it back."

He lead them on then and as Kili let himself fall back a bit to walk next to his brother again, he saw Tarya move forward so that she was falling in step next to Bilbo and Gandalf.

"I don't think she's happy with his plans," Kili muttered more to himself than to Fili when he saw the severe look on her face.

"You're right," Fili replied. "You should cheer her up with a little cuddle."

Kili didn't have to turn around to know Fili had a broad grin spread across his lips. He huffed slightly, sending the blonde dwarf an annoyed look. "Would you stop that?"

"I'd rather not," Fili chuckled. "The face you make whenever I mention it is more than worth it."

"The face I make?" Kili asked, raising an eyebrow at his brother who smirked back at him.

"You get all flustered and pink like a bashful piggy," Fili laughed and quickly dodged the hand of his brother that had flown out to hit him over the head, instead trapping the younger one's head in a tight grip, laughing as Kili cursed and tried to get him off.

"You just never learn," Fili laughed, wrestling the younger one into a position he couldn't get out of.

"What is going on back there?" The voice of their uncle rung out and made them let go of each other immediately before they both shot innocent looks towards the rest of the company who had all turned around to look at them after the little commotion they had caused.

"It's nothing, uncle!" Fili assured, trying not to snigger, Kili scratching his head sheepishly next to him. Thorin just looked at his nephews for a moment before he shook his head, turning around to continue after the wizard, muttering something under his breath that had Balin next to him chuckle.

When the attention was no longer upon them, Fili turned to his brother again, his look a bit more serious. "Of course she's not happy with Gandalf leaving, none of us are. But wizard's do as they please, so I guess we will just have to deal with it."

* * *

_Tarya turned back to the wizard and Bilbo who were quietly walking beside her, as they marched through the long green grass, along high trees, leaving the ford they had bathed in the evening before behind. She didn't know what to think of Gandalf's plans. She certainly wasn't happy with them but she knew he wouldn't stay even if she asked him to. But she wanted to talk to him sooner rather than later, before he would leave them to continue on their journey alone._

_"And why is it called the Carrock?" Bilbo asked, breaking the thoughtful silence between the three of them._

_"He calls it the Carrock because carrock is his word for things like that. And he calls this one _the Carrock_ because it is near his home and he knows it well," Gandalf replied, his explanation confusing Tarya more than it actually helped._

_"And who is it exactly who knows it so well?" Bilbo inquired curiously, obviously not being happy with the wizard's explanation, either._

_"His name is Beorn, if you must know," Gandalf said, seeming a bit grumpy for all Tarya could tell. "And you all must be very polite to him when I introduce you, for he can be very appalling when he's angry, so you better be careful not to annoy him. He's very strong and he's a skin-changer."_

_Tarya's jaw almost dropped at the revelation and she quickly tried to focus her thoughts when Bilbo inquired further, not quite understanding what Gandalf meant._

_"What? A furrier?"_

_Tarya almost snorted when Gandalf hurriedly cried out. "No! No, no, NO! Good heavens! Don't be a fool, Master Baggins. And do not mention the word furrier as long as you are within a hundred miles of his house, he would not take kindly to it at all, I assure you."_

_As the Amarok glanced over to her hobbit friend, she chuckled lightly at the stupefied look on his face. "He is a skin-changer," Gandalf continued, a bit calmer now. "Which means he actually changes his skin. Sometimes he is a huge black bear, sometimes he is a great strong black-haired man."_

_"Oh! Oh…" Bilbo muttered, at loss for a good thing to say but Ori spoke up from behind them and as Tarya turned to look at the dwarf, she saw that everyone in the company had been listening in on their conversation._

_"Like Tarya, then?" Ori asked and Gandalf frowned slightly at him, while her own interest was now awakened. She looked at Gandalf questioningly, all too aware that he was avoiding her gaze. "She used to be a big black wolf and now she's a black-haired woman."_

_"Well, not exactly," Gandalf muttered. "You see, some say that Beorn is a bear descended from the great ancient bears of the mountains that lived there before the giants came. Others say that he is a man descended from the first men who lived before Smaug or any other dragons came into this part of the world. I cannot say, though I fancy the last is the true tale."_

_He shot a look at Tarya then who was listening attentively. "Tarya on the other hand is originally a wolf of the Amarok and does not have any human ancestors as far as I know."_

_Tarya shook her head to confirm the wizard's words. There were no men in the history of her or her kin, at least she knew of none. They had always been wolves for as long as they'd existed. She wasn't a skin-changer and she knew that quite well. But still, there was this little part in her that hoped she would somehow be able to change back into her true self somehow. And of course, the prospect of meeting someone who was able to change his own form at will sparked her own hopes again._

_She felt some of the dwarves' gazes on her and she shortly met Ori's and smiled at him, as he looked a bit bashful for bringing her into the discussion like that. She didn't mind, though. Ori was always the curious one, the one that wrote everything down that happened and that somehow seemed to understand more through his silent ways than some of them did through their constant chatting. She liked that about him._

_"Can you tell us anything else about this Beorn?" Thorin inquired and she only realized now that he spoke up that he was standing right next to her._

_"Well, he lives in an oak-wood, in a great wooden house. He lives in the company of many animals, though he doesn't eat them, neither does he hunt or eat wild animals…"_

_Tarya listened as the wizard told them about the great bees that Beorn kept, although her thoughts kept going back to the fact that the man could change into a bear. She had never met a skin-changer before, which would be interesting, and she was really looking forward to be in the company of other animals once more._

_Eventually, the dwarves and Bilbo stopped asking questions and they marched on, everyone having enough to think about after Gandalf's explanations. It was quite some time later, already late in the afternoon, when Tarya realized that the landscape was slowly changing. The large trees to their sides were giving way to wide patches of flowers more colourful than Tarya had ever seen, the same kinds growing together as if they had been planted._

_"They look beautiful," Bilbo spoke up from beside her and she simply smiled, looking over the fields of flowers, green grass and clover. There was a lot of clover, its colours reaching from deep green over white to light purple. "I wonder what kind of flowers those are," Bilbo continued and she looked at him. "I have never seen most of those."_

_"I'm not exactly a flower expert," Tarya mused. "But you're right, they do look beautiful."_

_Then, she became aware of a busy buzzing and droning that filled the air and she felt Bilbo twitch just as he made the same discovery as her. There were lots and lots of bees, making their way from flower to flower of the fields. Gandalf had not been exaggerating when he had told them about the size of them, most being larger than any bee Tarya had ever seen. She didn't particularly like bees, having stepped on one when she was a pup. She remembered her paw hurting for over a week after the animal's sting and that had only been half the size of those that were buzzing around here._

_"Oh dear," she heard Bilbo mutter next to her and she turned her head to see the hobbit's worried face. "If one was to sting me! Can you imagine? I would swell up the size of myself again."_

_Tarya giggled slightly at the image and caught herself an indignant look from her friend. "I'm sorry, Bilbo," she smiled, "but don't worry. Bees don't usually sting if you don't anger them. And they seem busy enough not to be bothered by us at all."_

_Bilbo still seemed uneasy but as she reassuringly slung one arm around his shoulder and squeezed him slightly, she felt him relax a bit. "And besides, you successfully fought orcs, Bilbo. You won't be upset by a few bees, will you?"_

_"A few bees? There are about hundreds of them!" he obviously felt obliged to defend himself and Tarya laughed lightly upon looking at his indignant expression. Bilbo tried to scowl at her but couldn't hold it as she winked at him and finally joined her in her laughter._

* * *

"Lad, if you don't stop scowling at the hobbit's back, I'm afraid he will have holes in his vest where your gaze rests."

Kili jerked his head around to look at Bofur, who was watching him with a raised eyebrow. Had he really been staring that hard for Bofur to notice? Certainly, he hadn't meant to. He had simply been interested in knowing what had the two of them laughing like that. He didn't want to admit to himself that the sight of her having an arm casually wrapped around the hobbit's shoulder somehow bothered him.

"I didn't mean to," he told Bofur, trying to sound as casual as possible. "I was just thinking."

"Now there's something new," Fili chipped in from his other side. "I didn't know you did _thinking_."

"I do," Kili retorted. "You should try it, too, sometime. I think you'll find it rather refreshing."

Fili narrowed his eyes at him and the brunette dwarf shot his older brother a cheeky grin, as the blonde was at a loss for a fitting reply.

"Now," they heard Gandalf call out, as they reached a belt of very large and ancient-looking oak trees. As Kili looked up, he saw that they were standing on a little hill and a bit further down there was a huge hedge of massive wood built up that couldn't possibly be climbed by anyone and certainly not a dwarf. "You better wait here. I will whistle for you to come after me when I deem it the right time but don't come all at once, mind you. Only come in pairs with about five minutes between each pair of you. Since Bombur is fat enough to count for two on his own, his pair should come last. That should do."

Bombur reacted rather indignantly to this statement, not at all happy with the prospect of having to come last but Gandalf wouldn't change his mind and when Thorin spoke up, saying that he agreed with the wizard, the large red-haired dwarf resolved to state his anger with an annoyed huff here and there.

"Well, then, come along, Mr. Baggins!" Gandalf said and the hobbit quickly hurried after him as he made his way along the fence in search of the gate.

They sat down on the grass and beneath the trees then, waiting for Gandalf to make his sign. Kili took a seat with his brother, the both of them tugging out their weapons to sharpen them under the shadow of a large oak. Kili watched for a moment as Tarya turned around herself, seemingly admiring the view before her gaze settled on Ori who was leaning on a tree trunk, scribbling into his notebook, which he had set on his knees. She walked over to him then, crouching down next to the young dwarf and a moment later, Kili saw a slight blush spread on Ori's cheeks before he slightly turned his notebook so that she could take a look at it.

He forced himself to look away and concentrate his gaze on the sword in his lap, when an amazed smile spread on Tarya's lips. He was internally scolding himself. Was he actually _jealous_? _Jealous_ of _Ori_?

It took a while and they didn't hear of Gandalf, leaving them to wonder what was going on down at Beorn's house and Kili almost twitched when suddenly a shrill whistle echoed over the fields.

"Dori, you will be coming with me," Thorin called out. "Then Ori and Nori, Oin and Gloin, Bofur and Bifur, Fili and Kili. Dwalin, you will go with Tarya and Balin with Bombur."

The companions all nodded in agreement before the dwarf-king walked off together with the oldest Ri-brother.

Kili felt someone slump down beside him then and as he turned his head, he saw Tarya sitting there, a small smile still playing around her lips. The brunette dwarf tucked his sword back to his belt and looked at her questioningly. "Did Ori show you his drawings?"

"Yes," she smiled brightly and he felt his mood lighten ever so slightly. "Did you know he made a picture of us?"

Now he raised a surprised eyebrow at her and she quickly continued. "When I was still a wolf," she said. "By the fire. You were bandaging my ha - … my paw."

"Oh," he muttered, remembering the evening in question. He had seen Ori drawing in his book back then. It was kind of strange to think back to it. "Well, what did you think of it?"

"It was brilliant," Tarya beamed. "He is very talented. He captured you on paper like… you looked so much like you, Kili." He smiled at her excitement, while he watched Ori and Nori leave the company towards Beorn's house.

"And what did you think about yourself?" he asked her, smiling directly at her when she shrugged slightly.

"I look a bit different in it," she chuckled and Kili grinned.

"Just a bit," he replied, nudging her slightly with his shoulder and Fili chuckled beside them as well.

"A little furrier," the blonde dwarf stated and Tarya grinned at him as he stood up, getting ready to leave for Beorn's house as well. As Kili looked about, he saw that apart from them, only Dwalin, Balin and Bombur were still around. He quickly got up then, shooting Tarya another smile before he trailed after his brother.

It took them a few minutes until they reached the gate and as they passed it, they saw some horses browsing the grass a few metres away. The brothers walked along the pass then until they saw a big wooden house behind which were other buildings made of wooden lodges, such as stables, barns and sheds.

As the both of them rounded the corner, Kili could hear Gandalf calling out. "Ah, and there they are. Fili and Kili."

As usual, they bowed low, greeting the really huge man, smiling courteously and inclining their heads as he looked at them. They had just opened their mouths to greet him with the usual 'At your service', but Beorn cut them both off before they could even inhale the breath to say the words.

"Yes, yes, I don't need your service, thank you. Sit down and be quiet."

Kili slightly raised his eyebrows in surprise and exchanged a glance with Fili but he just shrugged and let himself plump down on the wooden floor of Beorn's house, Kili following his example not a second later.

"Now go on, Gandalf," Beorn demanded and the wizard did. Kili listened as he recounted their journey to the skin-changer, telling him about their fight in Goblin Town, their flight through the lower gate, until he came to the point where they had found out Bilbo was missing.

"You cannot imagine our horror, when we became aware of it. We counted ourselves and found that there was no hobbit. There were only fifteen of us left!"

Beorn frowned deeply. "Fifteen! That's the first time I've heard one from eleven leave fifteen. You mean ten, or else you haven't introduced all of your companions to me yet."

"Well, yes, apparently, some of them seem to have been shy to come along and lingered behind. But – oh – here they are!"

Kili turned his head to look over to the massive doorway where Dwalin was just rounding the corner together with Tarya.

"Dwalin and Tarya," Gandalf announced.

"And Bombur and Balin!" The remaining two dwarfs called out, puffing up behind. Gandalf frowned at them a bit, not content with them not sticking with the plan of leaving a few minutes between the pairs. But what was there to do about it now?

Beorn didn't seem to care. "Well, finally, you seem to have all of your companions together, Gandalf," he told the wizard, huffing slightly, while Dwalin, Balin and Bombur were bowing low before him.

He then shifted slightly in his chair and Kili swallowed tightly when he saw the massive man's gaze settle on Tarya.

* * *

_Tarya looked up at Beorn, rendered speechless by his huge figure. He was extremely tall, easily towering over even Gandalf who was not exactly small himself. His arms were thick-muscled as well as his legs. A big, fuzzy black beard was covering the lower half of his face and his bushy eyebrows drew together as he looked down at her. She had no trouble imagining this person as a tremendous bear._

_She felt the others bow beside her but she couldn't bring herself to do the same for two reasons. One, it was not her way to bow to someone in order to greet them and second, she was too dumbstruck to actually do anything else than awkwardly smile up at him._

_"Now that is not a dwarf," Beorn announced and Tarya was not sure whether he was talking to Gandalf, although he was still looking at her, ignoring her companions' polite greetings._

_"Indeed, she is not." Gandalf said. "Her part in this journey would be another rather long tale to tell, interesting though, nevertheless."_

_"It seems most of your tales are rather long, Gandalf," Beorn huffed, watching Tarya as he spoke. She felt highly uncomfortable under his scrutinizing gaze and she almost sighed in relief when he finally looked away from her and back to the wizard. "For now, finish the one you have been telling me, for there should not be any further interruptions now, I take it."_

_Tarya only listened with half an ear when Gandalf finished his story, telling Beorn how they had fought the orcs before the eagles had rescued them and carried them to the Carrock, finishing with how they had come to his house for help._

_"Well," Beorn said, when Gandalf was done telling. "That was a rather good tale, although you might still be making it all up. But I'd guess you have at least earned supper for entertaining me this evening. If you like, you can find shelter here for tonight and I will serve you something to eat."_

_"Yes, please!" some of the dwarves and Bilbo called out and Tarya smiled thankfully towards the huge man who only sent her a short scrutinizing glance, before he stood up and led them through the hallway of his house until they reached a large dining room where the table and chairs were quite big but still low enough that Tarya and even the small Bilbo could sit on them comfortably. As she took a seat, she found herself quite near the head of the table, where Beorn sat down on a much larger wooden chair, fit for his massive form. The skin-changer clapped his hands together then and as if on cue, the doors were pushed open and in came – to Tarya's utter surprise – white fluffy sheep with trays on their broad backs that were loaded with mugs of mead, as well as plates and bowls. She watched as more animals came in. Large grey dogs, walking on their hind legs, carrying trays with various foods, as well as forks, spoons and knives, setting all of it on the table in front of her companions, which were looking just as stupefied at the sight as she felt. But quite soon, animated chatter started to fill the room, a big warming fire was lit and she felt herself relax slightly, seeing that even Beorn seemed friendlier now that he had decided to let them stay. As dinner went on, he started to tell tales in his deep rumbling voice of the wild lands on his side of the mountains and about Mirkwood, which they would have to pass in order to get to Erebor._

_Tarya listened to him while Nori, who was sitting opposite her, next to Fili and Kili, kindly held out a small basket of buns to her and she smilingly took one of them before Dwalin, who was sitting to her left next to Thorin, handed her another tall mug. To Tarya's right, Ori had taken a seat next to his oldest brother and was listening to Beorn attentively and Tarya had no doubt that everything he experienced here would be written down in his notebook as soon as possible._

_A large long-bodied grey dog came up to her then, setting a tray with honey and cream on the table before her, with which she would be able to eat her bun, before it let itself sink down on all four paws, looking up at her confusedly. She returned the dog's gaze and smiled slightly, when it cautiously took a step closer, sniffing at her hand before it let out a small yelp, making Ori twitch slightly next to her._

_Tarya didn't pay attention to him though, or anybody else, when she answered the dog's question with a nod and it came closer again, obviously still confused but interested as he let her cautiously stroke his head. It was really strange for Tarya to stroke an animal. She had never done so before and she wondered whether her own fur had felt as silky and fluffy as this dog's._

_"What's your name?" she asked him directly and the dog barked once, quite loudly. Tarya smiled broadly, not being aware that he had torn a lot of attention towards them. "Arvo," she acknowledged, as the dog was now smiling back at her, his tongue hanging out of his mouth, "'Precious'. It's nice to meet you, too."_

_"You understand what he is saying," a deep voice rumbled near her and she quickly raised her gaze to look into Beorn's eyes who had apparently stopped his conversation with Gandalf in order to watch the exchange. The skin-changer was looking at her with barely hidden surprise but there was also some scepticism in his gaze. As she glanced around, she noticed that every conversation around the table had suddenly ceased. There was a heavy silence over the table, gazes shifting from Beorn to Tarya and back._

_"I do," she answered, looking back at Beorn who narrowed his eyes at her._

_"How?"_

_"I listen," she simply said and he raised a bushy eyebrow at her._

_"You are no dwarf, neither hobbit, nor man. What are you exactly, girl?" He questioned, almost growling and Tarya felt the small hairs on her neck stand on end at his tone but not because she was scared. It was because she felt threatened and she didn't like it._

_"Tell me. Now!" Beorn ordered gruffly and watched her closely. She couldn't help a small growl leave her throat and she felt Arvo nudge her hand lightly with his nose to call her to her senses, yowling quietly to tell her that his master was of no danger to her. It worked and she quickly glanced down at the dog before bringing her gaze back to Beorn who had now both his eyebrows raised._

_"You're a wolf," he muttered and Tarya raised her head slightly, confirming his observation, as he leant back in his chair, swiping one hand over his beard, looking at her thoughtfully._

_"An Amarok," she told him, after Gandalf had nodded slightly at her, and Beorn stared at her for a moment, completely silent. It was a few seconds until he broke into a rumbling chuckle and Tarya raised her eyebrows at him in surprise._

_"Now, it would seem like your story is an interesting one, indeed. Tarya, daughter of the Amarok."_

_Beorn had her explain then and after a moment of hesitation she did, all too aware that also her companions were listening to her when she told him about her origins, how she had stumbled upon Thorin and Company. Gandalf supported her in her tale after a while, telling Beorn how she had transformed in Rivendell._

_"This one?" Beorn asked, pointing at Kili, when Gandalf mentioned the commitment that had taken part in the story. The mentioned dwarf looked a bit irritated at being pointed at as if he were a funny choice. Kili crossed his arms over his chest, raising a challenging eyebrow at the skin-changer. Beorn grinned in reply. "Interesting."_

_The tale went on then while they were eating and eventually they found themselves in front of empty plates, bowls and mugs. Tarya felt slightly dizzy and she didn't quite know why, although it probably was because of the amount of mead she'd had been given to drink. But nevertheless, she answered Beorn's questions as well as she could, since the skin-changer had by now leant forward over the table to listen to every word of hers attentively. When he asked her about the fight with the orcs, she hesitated, though, and only when she caught Kili's reassuring gaze across the table, she spoke up again._

_"I have fought to protect my friends," she told Beorn. "And to avenge the murder of my mother, committed by Azog's kin."_

_She felt the companions' piercing gazes on her as she said it and after a moment, she brought herself to return them shortly but quickly averted her gaze back to Beorn when she met Thorin's incredulous blue eyes. The black-haired man growled and clenched his hands into fists._

_"Filthy orc pack," he snarled. "Your kin are respectable and dignified wolves. Murdering one of them is an abject deed."_

_Tarya just inclined her head slightly; acknowledging his words, before she quickly finished her tale by saying that she greatly enjoyed being around animals once again, dogs especially, since they were of almost the same kind and she was able to understand them even in this form._

_They had changed their positions by now and were seated on comfortable logs or on the floor near the fire in the room. Arvo was lying by her side and Beorn shortly observed his dog, before he nodded._

_"They know of your significance," he rumbled and Tarya inclined her head slightly, knowing that dogs naturally felt tributary to her kind. "And he does enjoy your company, it would seem."_

_Arvo grumbled lightly in agreement to his master and Tarya smiled._

_There was a short silence then, before Beorn sighed slightly and stood up. "You are welcome to stay the night," he announced. "You can sleep in this halls safe and sound but I warn you: You must not stray outside until the sun is up, on your own peril."_

_And with that, he stood up and Tarya watched as he left the room quickly, the door slamming shut behind him loudly._

* * *

Kili, who was sitting on a log with his brother, could see that most of the dwarves shot glances over to where Tarya was sitting in a corner. Another dog had joined her by now, one with slightly darker fur than Arvo and she was seemingly enjoying their company, separated a bit from the rest of the company.

All of the companions were still digesting her story, the news about her mother, especially and Kili couldn't blame her for avoiding their questions or their pity by sitting further away. He had seen how much it pained her to even think about it and he had been rather surprised that she had actually told Beorn about the whole affair. Kili could see that especially Thorin had been rather taken aback by her confession and the young dwarf would have liked to know what his uncle was thinking at the moment. The dwarf-king was broodingly sitting next to Dwalin who also had a deep frown on his face.

But they all accepted that she didn't want to talk to them at the moment and so they contented themselves with enjoying the warm fire, telling stories, drinking some more mead and puffing on their pipes. For once, no one had to keep watch and they felt safe for the first time since they had left Rivendell.

It was already dark outside, the night already having fallen over the lands when the first few dwarves and Bilbo decided to go to sleep, snuggling up in the beds made of mattresses of hay and warm woollen blankets.

And it was then that Tarya decided to join them. Kili almost didn't hear her, only the light tapping of the paws of the dogs that were still by her side, made him look up when she sat down next to him on the floor.

"You seem to have a way with them," Balin mentioned, watching as the two dogs lay down next to her crossed legs, one beside her and the other in front of her.

"Arvo and Kol are friends now," she told the old dwarf with a small smile and he looked at her interestedly, when suddenly Ori piped up from across the fire.

"You said Arvo means 'precious'," he said and Tarya looked at him, nodding slightly. "How do you know that?"

Kili saw that he had his notebook open in his lap and shook his head slightly, although with a little smile, when Tarya answered with a calm voice.

"Dogs and wolves, as well as wargs, speak a language of their own," she told the young dwarf who listened attentively to every word she said. "We understand each other and we all have names that are given to us by birth. You can name a dog Bill and it will listen to it if it decides to but it will always know its true name and to understand its meaning, you either have to be canine yourself, or you have to be told it by the animal itself."

They all looked at her rather stupefied and Kili looked down at the second dog to her side, when Ori inquired, "Does the meaning hold… well, importance?" Ori asked and Tarya slightly tilted her head.

"Depends, really. Sometimes a name refers to outer attributes only, sometimes to characteristics and sometimes both."

"Then what does Kol mean?" Dwalin asked, now also intrigued by the conversation that was going on.

"Kol means 'dark'," came the Amarok's answer and the mentioned dog with the dark fur huffed slightly as if to confirm her statement. There was a short silence then, as they looked at the dogs, before Kili couldn't hold back his question any longer.

"And… what does your name mean?" he asked quietly and he saw that they all shifted their gazes to his black-haired friend, as they had all been wondering the same thing. Very subtle, he thought.

Tarya turned her head to look at him and once more, Kili was fascinated by the way the fire made her eyes shimmer like melted gold.

"_Tarya_ means 'the guardian', 'the powerful one'," she said a bit sheepishly and Kili raised his eyebrows hat her.

"That's…"

"… interesting," Fili finished for him and leaned forward slightly to get a better look at the Amarok who shrugged slightly. "Has your mother give you your name?" the blonde dwarf asked, although he felt a bit uneasy bringing her mother into the conversation. But Tarya didn't seem to mind, she just shook her head slightly.

"Amarok are given their names by their fathers," she explained. "Normal dogs and wolves get them from both their parents or just the mother, sometimes."

Fili nodded slightly, sending her a smile, which she returned, before the conversation took another turn and the ones that were still up started talking about what they knew about Mirkwood and wondered how it would be to set gaze upon the Lonely Mountain once more, at close range. They had seen it reaching up on the horizon when they had been up on the Carrock and all of them had felt closer to their goal than ever, closer to their lost home. But they couldn't help but wonder what the dragon had done to the lands and Balin told them a bit of his point of view, how he doubted that there was much left of its former glory after the Smaug's attack. It was this mood of longing and of melancholia that had them begin a song, their deep voices droning over the fire.

"_The wind was on the withered heath,_

_but in the forest stirred ne leaf;_

_there shadows lay by night and day,_

_and dark things silent crept beneath._

_The wind came down from mountains cold,_

_and like a tide it roared and rolled;_

_the branches groaned, the forest moaned,_

_and leaves were laid upon the mould."_

Kili hummed and sang along with his companions, staring into the fire, lost in his own thoughts. He kept imagining Erebor, never having seen it and only ever having heard stories, with its great halls, the glory it had once possessed and the deep riches that lay there. Gold and gems and – of course – the Arkenstone, protected by a dragon. The young dwarf wondered shortly whether they were rushing headlong towards their ruin, attempting to defeat a dragon but he quickly put that thought aside. No, they would succeed in their quest and they would restore their homeland. They had to. It was what their people deserved, it was what Thorin was striving for and after all those years, ages, he deserved to truly be the King under the Mountain.

_"It passed the lonely Mountain bare_

_and swept above the dragon's lair:_

_there black and dark lay boulders stark_

_and flying smoke was in the air._

_It left the world and took its flight_

_over the wide seas of the night._

_The moon set sail upon the gale,_

_and stars were fanned to leaping light."_

Kili suddenly felt a weight on his leg and as he looked down, he saw that Tarya had fallen asleep and her head had come to lean against his thigh. He smiled slightly and slowly bent down, cautiously picking her up in his arms. He caught the gazes of Dwalin and Thorin when he got up to his feet, his uncle nodding at him slightly before Kili bid them all goodnight.

As he turned and carried her over to a bed, he felt Arvo and Kol follow slowly. He lay her down on the hay mattress and covered her with one of the blankets. He stayed beside her for a moment, looking down and studying the soft features of her sleeping face, before he gently wiped a stray strand of hair from her forehead. He sighed slightly, trying to ignore the little tug in his chest as he got up and turned to his own bed, leaving the two dogs to settle down to sleep next to Tarya's bed and seeing Fili already sitting on the edge of the one next to his. Although Kili didn't admit it to himself, he knew that he was starting to feel something more than friendship towards Tarya. But there was no good in letting these feelings develop any further. They were friends and nothing more, that's how it was supposed to be and that's how it ought to stay, otherwise things would become very difficult very quickly.

Fili eyed his brother silently when he lay down, frowning at the sight of Kili's brooding face. There obviously was something bothering him and Fili didn't have to be a visionary to know it had to something do with Tarya. Fili knew that there was something between them, there had been from the start and to Fili it had always been quite clear that Kili could maybe develop feelings for the Amarok. And as it seemed to the blonde Durin heir, his younger brother was slowly starting to do so.


	23. A means to an end

**Hello, hearties, new chapter for you!**

**I'm sorry updates are coming a bit slower at the moment, I'm having a bit of a weird busy time, organizing a few things and therefore don't really find the time to update properly, but I'm doing my best for regular updates :)**

**_Doodler100_****: Haha, yeah, Fili always gets the right vibes from everybody, the little psychoanalyst :D Oh no, don't be jealous of our little Tarya when the poor thing didn't even realize she was getting held by Kili :D Thank you for your review! :D**

**Also thanks to ****_Dj Sparkles_**** and ****_DwarvenWarrior_****! And to ****_kungfupandabear_**** as well, I hope there will be no further confusion with this chapter!**

**And also thank you to the people who favorited and followed! It is highly appreciated!**

**Now, this one is a bit of a filler/build up, really, to what happens in the next chapter but it's still quite... well... just read :D**

**And, of course, I'd be very happy if you'd leave me a review afterwards and let me know what you think :D**

* * *

_Tarya was woken by a loud thump and a curse in a language she didn't understand. She jerked up, looking around confusedly. It took her a moment to realize she was in a bed at Beorn's._

_As she looked up, she saw Bofur scrambling to his feet, him being the one who had caused the whole commotion by falling down the little platform his bed was on. Bilbo was rubbing his back slightly and shot the dwarf an annoyed glance. Tarya could only guess that Bofur had fallen right on top of him before landing on the wooden floor. She had to withhold a giggle as Bofur readjusted his hat._

_"Well, come on, lazybones," the merry dwarf said then. "Or else, there will be no breakfast left for you."_

_Tarya smiled, as Bilbo was immediately wide-awake. "Breakfast? Where?" he called out and the Amarok could only raise her eyebrows at how fast the hobbit had reached the table in the middle of the room, which was empty._

_"Mostly in us," Gloin answered him as he walked by. "But if you hurry up, you might still find something. We are eating out on the veranda."_

_Tarya laughed slightly as Bilbo hurried outside and she slowly got up to get some breakfast herself, only now realizing that she had slept longer than usual and that the morning was already giving in to midday. Most of the dwarves were done eating already when Tarya sat down next to Dwalin who acknowledged her presence with a short nod._

_"Slept well, wolf girl?" he asked, putting some sliced bread and butter on her plate that he had obviously been saving for her. Tarya smiled warmly at the bald dwarf who cleared his throat slightly, ignoring he grateful look._

_"Thank you. I did," she answered. "Like a log."_

_Dwalin chuckled a bit. "I saw that. You didn't even wake up when Kili carried you to bed last night."_

_Tarya raised her eyebrows at Dwalin but he simply grinned slightly into his mug and she looked around to find Kili. Only to realize now that the familiar brown head of hair was not present at the small table they had set up on Beorn's veranda. She frowned a bit, when she couldn't find Fili and Ori either. Bofur seemed to read her mind._

_"Lads went for the stream behind the stables," he told her, calmly slicing an apple with a small knife. "Doing some training, I reckon."_

_Tarya nodded slightly, although she felt kind of disappointed when she thought of not seeing the three of them for a while and she wondered why they had left so early. She could have gone with them, for she could use some training herself. Well, she thought, she would just have to find an occupation for herself, then._

_"Where is Gandalf?" Bilbo suddenly asked, looking around for the wizard while biting into a juicy red apple._

_"He vanished in the early hours of the morning," Thorin, who was just stepping out of the house, explained and Tarya looked up at him, slowly chewing on her slice of bread with honey and butter. The dwarf-king shortly looked down on her, looking rather unhappy, before he continued. "Mahal knows where he went off to. I reckon we won't be seeing him for a while."_

_Tarya huffed silently. The wizard was making it highly difficult for her to talk to him. It was as if he was deliberately avoiding the conversation that he knew she needed to have with him. As Thorin sat down and started to speak with Dwalin, he sent another sharp look towards her and the Amarok wondered what she had done to deserve it. She had thought he was unhappy about Gandalf but now she started to think that he was somehow displeased with her. She quickly finished her breakfast and got up, leaving her companions behind on the veranda._

_Walking in a random direction, she huffed quietly to herself. She was angry. No, not angry, she was frustrated, she realized. With Gandalf. The wizard was supposed to help her; he was supposed to tell her what she was meant to do with herself, with her human self, that was. And now he had vanished and left her on her own. Again._

_When Tarya finally looked up and emerged from her thoughts, she found herself to be standing in a rather big garden and she couldn't help but be surprised at the sight of the low bushes filled with ripe berries, the trees and the lots and lots of flowers that grew here. Beorn's home was truly a beautiful place to live one's life, she thought as she turned around herself, and she was impressed that a man like him – big and rough as he was – was able to create beauty and calmness like this garden was filled with._

_As she walked around, she saw that there were also other animals living here than the ones she'd already seen. There were squirrels in the trees and small birds had set up their nests up in the branches. Tarya sat down beneath one of the trees after a while and closed her eyes, leaning her head against the trunk._

_Why was she even here?_

_She knew why, of course. She had stayed with the company because something had been haunting her and she had thought to find help in Gandalf. And it had been Kili that had made her trust them, really. His unreserved behaviour, his caring nature. But then things had changed, she had become human and her world had been turned upside down from one moment to another and although she knew she wouldn't really be able to bring herself to leave them on their own, she couldn't help but ask herself why she was still on this quest that had never really been hers. Nothing was haunting her anymore now and she was far away from where it had happened the night she met Kili and Gandalf wasn't much help in regaining her true form._

_Maybe it would be better to leave this company now and let them continue on their quest alone. She had other things in mind at the moment, than to help them slay a dragon, which really seemed like a rather suicidal mission to her, although the purpose of their quest was a noble one. They deserved to reclaim Erebor, she thought, but dragons were not so easily defeated. Maybe she should rather be out, hunting orc, she thought, until she would find the Defiler and tear him into pieces._

_But then again, something held her here. Those dwarves and Bilbo were her friends, after all and she knew that as much as one part of her wanted to go and take vengeance on every orc she'd find, the other part wanted to stay. And deep down, she knew it was mostly Kili that held her here. She had committed herself to Kili and Kili was on a quest to reclaim Erebor. And she would go with him, for he had earned her loyalty. They all had, in fact. But there was also the loyalty she felt towards her mother and the duty to avenge her assassination._

_However, in a human body, that would be rather difficult to do. Of course, she had been rather able to fight, still remembering the powerful feeling that had flowed through her. But she still didn't know what that had been and how or if she could reproduce it again. And it would probably not be the best idea to fight orcs without actually knowing whether she could defeat them. It seemed much wiser to help a group of dwarves to fight for their lost home and to make sure her friends wouldn't get killed on the way there or when they faced Smaug._

* * *

"Your aim has not gotten any better," Kili chuckled as Fili let the bow sink down, the blonde dwarf frowning slightly at the tree trunk he had been aiming at. The arrow had landed quite a few centimetres from where he had wanted.

"Considering that I'm no archer and that the last time I used a bow was when you bet me I couldn't hit Dwalin's tankard a few years back, I'd say I did quite well," Fili pointed out and as he turned his head, he saw his younger brother's broad grin beaming at him.

"Oh, yes," Kili chuckled. "That was quite an eventful evening."

"If by eventful you mean Dwalin's tankard breaking, the mead spreading on the table and us running for our young lives while he chases after us with his hatchets, then yes, quite eventful indeed," Fili deadpanned, giving the bow back to his brother.

"You're right, that might have been a rather unlucky turn of events but remember we got a little advance when he slipped on the spilled mead," Kili continued to grin and now Fili felt a smile of his own tugging on the corners of his lips when he remembered the incident.

"And he took the poor barmaid right down with him," the blonde dwarf chuckled at the memory and Kili laughed as well.

"Did he get you after that?" Ori chimed in from where he was sitting under the shadowy branches of a tree.

The brothers shot their companion a grin as if they had synchronised it. "Nah, we ran and hid in the stables until he gave up and went back to the pub," Kili laughed and Ori raised his eyebrows in silent amusement.

"What are you even doing there, Ori?" Fili asked as Kili went and ripped his arrows out of the tree trunk that had been serving as an aim. The brunette dwarf turned around to see his older brother standing a few feet away from Ori who had his book pressed to his chest and was looking a bit sheepishly at the blonde dwarf before him.

"Yeah, let us just have a peek," Kili grinned as he walked towards them, putting his arrows back into the quiver. "Would only be fair if you let us see what you've had your nose stuffed into the whole day while we were training our arses off, don't you think, Fee?"

"I couldn't agree more," Fili stated with a smirk, as Ori closed his book with a snap.

"It's my journal," the young dwarf huffed. "It's not for everybody's eyes, just mine."

"You've let Tarya see," Fili pointed out, crossing his arms over his chest, as Ori hesitated for a moment.

"Yes, well, it's different with her," he all but stuttered.

"Why?" Kili asked, raising a confused eyebrow. Ori frowned slightly when he looked at the brothers standing before him. They had basically trapped him already and they probably knew it, as well.

"She won't make fun," Ori muttered defiantly and the two Durin heirs exchanged a look, before they directed their gazes back to the dwarf before them who was still leaning against his tree trunk on the embankment of the stream they were on.

"We won't make fun, either," Kili claimed and Fili nodded beside him.

"We just want to have a look," the blonde added.

Ori hesitated still. He didn't really want to show them what he had been doing these last few hours because he was sure they would still make fun, even though they claimed they wouldn't. He had heard those promises too many times when they all had been younger and he didn't want to show them his things. But then again, they had always had a way to get what they wanted, mostly resulting in him being nicked his book and then being held back when he wanted to get it back, as the other brother read its contains out loud. And as if Kili had read his mind, he spoke up again, a slight smirk gracing his boyish features.

"You know we can also do this the hard way, Ori."

"Yeah, it's all up to you," Fili joined in, grinning as well. "But we'd really advise you to cooperate."

Ori rolled his eyes at their childish manner, hesitatingly bringing himself to hold out the book to the younger brother who took it with a satisfied smirk.

"One would think you're still dwarflings the way you behave," Ori huffed, ignoring Kili's little chuckle at his words. He watched Fili starting to flip through his journal with a little unease then, until Kili suddenly stopped his brother's flipping to take a closer look at a page, the two of them now obviously starting to read rather than just flipping through the pages and looking at the little doodles along the margins. Ori could only watch their concentrated expressions as they examined the page and wonder which one they were on.

'_She tells us that her name means 'guardian', as well as 'the powerful one' and it seems to be more than just fitting when I look at her across the fire.' _Kili read silently to himself. '_The dogs, Arvo and Kol, seem to be her following more than simple companionship and she sits among them with the grace of a kind-hearted queen.'_

Then the text gave way to where Ori had produced a very exact drawing of Tarya between the two large dogs and Kili couldn't deny that Ori was right with his writing. Only now that he was seeing this drawing, he became aware of how graceful she looked even when she was just sitting on the floor by a fire. Her back was kept straight; she held her head high and had an expression on her face that seemed thoughtful as much as it looked friendly. She really looked like royalty, he thought and he for a moment, he didn't even realize that he was in the picture, too, before he felt Fili nudge him slightly. The brunette dwarf glanced up and closed the journal at the same time.

"Looks like a kind-hearted queen, huh?" Fili grinned at Ori who quickly scrambled to his feet and retrieved his book from Kili's grip now that he knew what they had been looking at.

"She does," the artistic dwarf replied defiantly, feeling a small blush fighting its way onto his cheeks, before he quickly stuffed his journal back into his bag. Kili didn't say anything but Fili chuckled lightly beside him.

"Certainly does in that picture," he said, pointing vaguely at where the book had disappeared in Ori's bag. "You made her look quite noble."

"I didn't make her look like that," Ori replied, not quite knowing why he was telling the two brothers this. "She always does."

Fili slightly raised one eyebrow amusedly but just inclined his head in acceptance, although he did wonder why Ori seemed so passionate about this. A quick glance towards Kili told him that he was obviously not the only one wondering and he quickly patted his brother quite roughly on the back to get his attention, which had been settled on Ori until now. Kili looked at him and Fili cleared his throat quietly. "We should head back," he said. "I don't fancy being out and about when Beorn the bear decides to come around and the sun is starting to set."

His two companions nodded in agreement and they quickly packed their things and unhurriedly walked back to Beorn's house.

* * *

_Tarya opened her eyes when she heard someone clearing his throat near her. As she looked up, she saw Thorin standing before her, the late afternoon sun shining down on his form and Tarya wondered shortly how much time had actually gone by since she had sat down when she looked at the position of the sun. She must have fallen asleep. Next to Thorin, Arvo stood, looking first at her smilingly and then to the dwarf-king who slightly inclined his head at the dog. Tarya could only raise an eyebrow in question when Arvo turned around and trotted towards the exit of the garden, leaving her to stare up at Thorin confusedly._

_"Is there something wrong?" she asked hesitantly, seeing his stern face._

_"You were gone the whole day. I know where my nephews and Ori are but no one seemed to know where to you have wandered off to. We were starting to worry. You should have told someone where you were going," he muttered and she sighed heavily, as he crossed his arms over his chest. Tarya sat up a bit straighter against the tree trunk, not feeling really at ease when he was towering over her like this. "The only one being able to track you down proved to be the dog."_

_"I just happened to stumble upon this place and forgot the time. It's not that bad, considering that we are safer here than we have been for weeks out in the wild," she said warily, feeling his piercing gaze on her as she spoke. "I didn't realize I needed to inform you about my every step."_

_"You don't inform me about a lot of things, as it seems," he countered and now Tarya shortly closed her eyes in realization._

_"So, you are not actually here because you were worried about me but because you feel the need to scold me for not telling you that Azog killed my mother," she huffed and got up to her feet, feeling disgruntled now._

_"I saw a member of my company missing and felt the need to remind you that you are not supposed to be out after sundown," Thorin replied gruffly, "And as you can certainly see, the sun is already setting."_

_The dwarf-king seemed to be in a rather foul mood but as he turned around to walk back to the house, Tarya heard herself speak, not actually knowing where the words were coming from._

_"Why are you so angry with me?"_

_Thorin stopped in his tracks and looked at her over his shoulder with a raised eyebrow. She shortly wondered whether she should just let it go but it was already too late now. She had his attention and if she had wanted to back down, she had not expected him to turn around and glare at her._

_"You are truly asking me why I'm unhappy with you?" he asked angrily and made a step towards her that had her automatically take one backwards._

_"Yes," she replied, a bit taken aback by his sudden temper._

_"I shall tell you then," Thorin huffed. "I do not like being withheld information from. As the leader of this company, I cannot accept one of my companions actively keeping secrets from me. And you are, if anything, shrouded in mystery. We know nothing of you, really, and it has me wondering whether you can truly be trusted."_

_"You think I cannot be trusted?" she inquired incredulously and quite a bit offended now._

_Thorin merely crossed his arms over his chest and stared her down. "I know nothing of your motives."_

_"My motives?"_

_"Why exactly you decided to join this quest," Thorin answered, scrutinizing her. "And how loyal you truly are to it. What tells me that you won't go running off to fight an army of orcs to avenge your mother's death; that you won't endanger all of us with a reckless decision? What tells me that you are not keeping even more secrets?"_

_She stared at the dwarf before her for a moment, speechless. Was that truly what he thought of her? Did he really trust her this little? After all she had done for him and his company and his quest?_

_"I have never kept secrets from you and I will not be accused of being untrustworthy just because you never bothered to ask me anything about myself," she argued. "And I will not apologise for not telling everybody straight away that my mother has been killed by Azog when I needed time to digest the news myself first. I did not know that the Defiler killed my mother, I didn't even know he existed until that night and it was not my plan to fight him right there and then, but I had no other choice when I saw you lying there at his mercy. If any, __**you**__ are the one of us to take reckless decisions and until this day, I do not know what you were thinking when you ran against him. But I did not need to know it, because I trust you had your reasons, just as I had mine. And I would have protected you with my life because I would not let this filth kill another person that I care about. Not you, or Bilbo, or Kili or anyone of this company, if I can help it."_

_Thorin looked like he wanted to say something but she wasn't done yet. "I have grown fond of everyone in this company. I regard each one of you as a friend and as such, you are worthy of my help. I will not go running off, killing orcs, because that would be rather selfish and quite useless, as well. It won't bring me peace. No, I will help you reclaim your homeland if I can because I honour your purpose and I think it is much wiser to fight for the future and the hopes of an entire people than for the vengeance of one person."_

_The dwarf-king was silently looking at her now and she felt herself slowly calm down again, after practically having shouted at him. Only now did she realize that she was feeling weirdly warm again, although not nearly as hot as she had felt on the battlefield against Azog._

_"Do not question my loyalty," she all but growled. "It might be true that you don't know much about me but I am an Amarok, after all, and you can be sure of one thing. I do not owe you my allegiance but once you have earned it, you have it until the end."_

_Thorin observed her for a moment and then inclined his head at her in silent acknowledging of her words but he didn't say anything and Tarya could see that he was still digesting her outburst when he looked her in the eyes again._

_"I apologize," he muttered and she nodded after a moment of hesitation. Thorin nodded back at her and turned around to walk back towards the house but turned around again when she called after him._

_"Why did you even take me with you if you doubted me so incredibly?" she asked._

_"You proved capable of defending yourself," he replied shortly but Tarya knew that this couldn't be it, not after what he had just told her. It just didn't make sense for him to let someone in on his quest just because she wouldn't die straight away and then question her loyalty weeks after he'd taken the decision._

_"That's not the whole truth," she stated and Thorin kept quiet for a moment, just looking at her in a way that she couldn't decipher. The dwarf-king seemed to be rather deep in thought when he finally cleared his throat slightly._

_"I reckoned that an Amarok could bring some advantage to our quest. That is why you were allowed to join us in the first place," he uttered, looking back at her. "I thought you could be a valuable ally, which proved to be right when you fought alongside us in your wolf form. I was not sure whether taking you along after you had changed was a good idea. I have never seen or heard of anything like it before. But you did not seem to be very keen on staying with the elves and you had earned a place amongst the others already, I could hardly leave you behind. And you proved to be just as skilled as a human as you have been as a wolf, which made one wonder what your transformation might entail."_

_Tarya nodded shortly, frowning at his explanation. There seemed to be something strange in Thorin's voice and she raised her eyebrows at him in question. There was a strange expression mirroring in his steel blue eyes as he looked at her and the Amarok suddenly realized what it represented._

_"The origin of light," she muttered. "You were wondering whether I would bring power upon you and your company as the legends suggest."_

_Thorin hesitated – although merely two seconds – but it was enough for her to know she was right, the look on his face giving him away. "You have never seen… in fact, no one has ever seen a human Amarok," she concluded. "I'm but a rare, strange treasure, which you hope will bring power upon you, am I not? That is why you've let me come. That is why you are questioning my loyalty, because you want to make sure that I will not just run off, so that in case the legends are true, you will be there to benefit from it."_

_"That is not true," Thorin replied but Tarya could see in his eyes that she had hit a spot. "You are a member of my company. An ally, a friend."_

_She couldn't say for certain whether he actually meant that or not but she didn't care now, anyway. She had seen that she was definitely far from entirely wrong with what she was saying._

_"No, I'm not. I'm just a means to an end."_

* * *

As Kili rounded the corner of Beorn's house together with Fili and Ori, he suddenly heard a loud snarl that tore the three of them from their conversation. The young brunette didn't know what he was supposed to think about what he saw when he looked up. There was his uncle, standing a few metres from the house's entrance, looking as if he wanted to go after someone but he was blocked by one of the large grey dogs. Kili needed a moment to identify it being Kol who was snarling at Thorin vigorously, although on second glance, he saw Arvo standing a bit further ahead, too, also having his teeth bared.

"What's going on?" Fili beside him asked confusedly, but also worriedly, as they quickly came closer but what caught Kili's attention was the head of black hair he saw when he turned his head to follow Thorin's gaze.

"Tarya?" he muttered confusedly to himself, before he realized that she was about to walk past the hedge of Beorn's lands. "Tarya!" he screamed after her then but she didn't turn around and after a moment, she had disappeared out of his sight.

He quickly turned to his uncle then who sighed heavily, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Where is she going?! What happened?" the young dwarf asked agitatedly but only got a huff from Thorin.

"She's gotten furious," Thorin said. "And stormed off."

"Why?" Kili wanted to know, coming to stand directly next to Thorin who was keeping an eye on the dark-furred dog before him.

"She thinks the only reason she's here is because I want to benefit from her supposed powers," Thorin declared after a moment and not only Kili looked at him incredulously.

"Well, we have to get her back," Ori chimed in a bit shyly, not comfortable with the tension that had suddenly started to build between the dwarf-king and his youngest nephew.

"I agree with Ori," Fili said. "The sun has almost vanished behind the tree tops already, she shouldn't be out there on her own. Beorn has told us not to."

"She doesn't even have her daggers with her," Ori exclaimed worriedly, looking in the direction where Tarya had vanished.

"I tried to stop her," Thorin grumbled. "The dogs wouldn't let me."

And as if on cue, the two of them started growling again as Fili made to head after Tarya, making the blonde dwarf take a step back.

"She told them to keep anyone from following her," his uncle explained and Fili closed his eyes in understanding. What was that girl thinking? She would get probably get killed out there!

"Then what should we do?" Ori asked. "We can't just let her – "

"Is she?" Kili cut him off, looking at his uncle sternly. Thorin raised both eyebrows, not quite knowing what he was getting at. "Is she here because you want to benefit from her powers?"

There was a heavy silence over the little group as uncle and nephew stared at each other.


	24. Back to basics

**And here's a new chapter. Yaaay, celebrate, fireworks, pa-kew pa-chew! Yaay, Anders. No wait. Wrong show. xD**

**Uh, well, back to business :D**

**Special thanks to you lovely people who keep reviewing each chapter! I really, really appreciate that! It keeps me motivated!**

**_Sam0728_: It does definitely hurt to know that. And she'll probably not forget it very soon, either.**

**_Doodler100_: Oooh, Thorin got bitch slapped xD I laughed so hard when I read that :D And well, he's just good at ruining things it would seem. I'm not so sure if he's also good at making things up, though :D**

**_kaia_: Ahh, I hope you'll be happy with this chapter then :D Mirkwood will be quite interesting for Tarya either way, though, I can tell you that :D**

**_DwarvenWarrior_: Poor Thorin. First he gets bitch slapped by Doodler100 and then he gets yelled at by you. Dude just can't do things right :D**

**Also, thanks to the people who followed and favorited!**

**Well then, I'll leave you to it.**

**Enjoy and leave me a review of what you thought at the end! :D**

* * *

_Tarya was furiously stomping through the bushes, not even looking where she was going. The only thing that mattered was to get as far away from those bloody dwarves as possible. She kicked and hit the twigs away that got in her way for a while, not knowing for how long she had been walking when she finally just stopped in her tracks right in the middle of the oak forest that surrounded Beorn's lands. Her breathing was going fast and her thoughts were whirling in her head._

_How could she be so stupid? Of course, he – they – were hoping to get an advantage out of her. People always wanted that. That's why Amarok avoided them. People were greedy and selfish, all of them. Elves, Men, and – although the realization really made her want to throw up – these Dwarves were no different at all, either. She felt completely betrayed. Used. How could they do this? How could she only be a source of supposed power to them, when she had continuously helped to save their lives? Did all of them think of her like that? Or was it just Thorin? Tarya didn't want to believe that Kili could feel the same way. He had always said he was her friend and he had been there for her, even when she'd still been a wolf and he hadn't even known that she was an Amarok. There was no way she was just a useful curiosity to him, was there? She couldn't be sure, though. What if she had committed herself to a dwarf that wasn't even her friend, really? She felt like a complete naïve fool._

_Clenching her eyes together, she let out a short frustrated scream and in her fury kicked the nearest tree. It hurt but she didn't care. Why did she ever have to transform? She didn't want this. She had never asked to be human and right now, she just wished she could be her own animal self again. She wanted to get away, to get back to her own life, in which she had been lonely, yes, but at least no one had been able to treat her like that._

_Her whole body was trembling with hurt and anger and she just couldn't handle it. And then there was the heat. That incredible heat that was threatening to overtake her every limb. She felt her breathing become harder as she tried to fight it and calm down, fearing like she would probably burn from the inside if it continued, but it was to no avail. She felt like she was on fire and as she opened her eyes, she suddenly saw things completely clear, although the forest was shadowed by darkness, for sundown was long past by now._

_Tarya forgot her aching body for a moment, as she scanned the area, surprised at how clearly she could see everything. She had never been able to see this precisely during the night ever since she had transformed into a human. But now, she saw everything dipped in different variations of grey around her. Single leaves on the trees were moving slowly in the wind, producing a soft rustling that was being carried through the air._

_Tarya was amazed. How was this possible?_

_Her ears were seemingly working better, as well. She heard the near rustling of something that she identified being the noise of a rabbit, and then there was a little squeak of a squirrel high up in an oak tree. Tarya looked up to the sky that was being covered by treetops, so that she couldn't actually see the night sky, as the soft hoot of an owl swept over her._

_She tried to ignore her burning skin for another moment, although the sensation was becoming more demanding again, and closed her eyes. As she concentrated, she was able to hear faint voices echoing through the woods. Familiar voices. She tried to withhold a smile as she realized that they had come after her. That they cared enough to search for her._

_And then there was another sound. Heavier. More dangerous. And as Tarya opened her eyes, she didn't hesitate for a second. She ran._

* * *

Kili made his way through the bushes carefully, trying to be as quiet as possible and at the same time seeing as much as he could. But there was no sign of Tarya whatsoever, except a few broken twigs here and there that they were following along, and he could feel the frustration and worry grow bigger within him with every further step he took.

"In which direction do you think she went?" Fili asked behind him when there were suddenly no more broken twigs that went on in a consistent direction. The blonde dwarf had both his swords drawn and his eyes were scanning their surroundings attentively.

"I don't know," Kili replied with a sigh. "I can't even find any footprints here. She could be anywhere."

"Maybe she's too light to leave footprints…" Fili mused. "You know, like some elves."

Kili didn't reply and after a moment, Fili continued hesitantly. "Maybe we should go back," he muttered. "I can hardly see a thing anymore and it will be pitch-dark further inside."

Kili shook his head, choosing to walk straight on forward. Going back was not an option for him and Fili knew it.

"You go back if you want to," Kili grumbled. "I haven't gotten past those dogs to turn back now. If I'm going back, I'm going back with her, Fili. I won't just leave her out here alone."

Fili sighed silently, looking at his brother's back as he followed him. He had known he wouldn't turn around, even though it was probably quite dangerous for them to be out here if Beorn's warning was anything to go by. But then again, Kili was right. He had gotten past the dogs – although he had had to draw his sword in order to get them to finally back down – and had defied Thorin when he ordered him to wait inside Beorn's house until she came back on her own. Might as well go through with it now. And of course, Fili had followed his brother. He would never have let him to something as reckless as this on his own and he wouldn't have felt comfortable just sitting around and waiting for Tarya to return when really anything could happen to her out here, either. She was his friend as well, after all.

"We'll find her," Fili mumbled to his younger brother who shot him a short look over his shoulder.

They made their way through the forest in silence then, searching the floor for eventual signs of her. Kili was slowly starting to lose every hope of finding Tarya when he suddenly heard a rustling sound a bit further ahead. Fili was beside him in an instant, having heard it as well. The brother's exchanged a short glance.

"Tarya?" Kili called out, although not too loud, for he couldn't be too sure what the origin of the sound had been.

There was no answer and both brothers tensed up when the rustling reached their ears again, this time seeming closer. Kili was about to call his friend's name a second time when suddenly, there was a loud growl coming from the darkness before them and just a moment later, a huge black bear emerged from the shadows of the trees and bushes. The two dwarves stumbled backwards as the beast – which was definitely bigger than any bear they both had ever seen – bared its teeth at them, growling and snarling wildly.

There was a short moment in which dwarves and bear just stared at each other, both keeping still in their positions, before Fili made a small step backwards and a twig cracked beneath his boot.

It was as if a spell had been broken. The bear roared viciously, baring large sharp teeth, spittle dropping from its mouth, before it lunged at them. Fili and Kili reacted simultaneously, both diving out of the way to the opposite direction. As they scrambled to their feet, they saw that the bear had turned around and was coming at them again, but just as it raised itself on its hind legs to attack them, something else came dashing through the bushes and lunged at the beast, knocking it off balance. The bear fell with a loud, angry roar and as Kili looked up, he met the familiar gleam of a pair of golden eyes. The face, however, belonged to the large black wolf he hadn't seen since Rivendell.

He just stared at her for a seeming eternity, his brother doing the same. However, not even a second had passed before Tarya barked wildly at them.

* * *

_They didn't move._

_Of course, they didn't. They never moved when they ought to. They just stared at her with wide eyes and although she understood why they might be surprised – she was so herself and not just a bit – there was no time to revel on her new old look now._

_Tarya let out another frustrated and urgent bark at her friends as the bear – which was most likely Beorn himself – got to its feet again. Now finally, Kili flinched and seemed to understand that she was urging them to run for their lives. He grabbed his brother by the shoulder and Fili understood within an instant, as they both took off running the way they had come not even half a second later. Tarya caught a last worried glance from Kili, which he threw at her over his shoulder, before he disappeared in the bushes and out of her sight._

_Of course, the huge bear made to chase after them but as it was about to set off, Tarya growled aggressively and lunged at it again, biting its right hind leg. The bear roared in pure fury and pain and hit her hardly with one paw. The strength of the impact had her let go of the leg as she was dashed away, a pained yelp leaving her throat when she landed hardly on the forest floor. But at least, the action had made the bear's attention settle on her now and not on the fleeing dwarves. However, she knew she didn't stand a real chance against a huge beast like that, even in this form, and she would have to run for her own life rather sooner than later. He was quite a bit stronger than her; one strike with his paw had been enough for her to figure that out. She wasn't keen on feeling that again. But at least now – as a wolf – she was definitely faster than him._

_The bear roared at her as she got to her feet and Tarya quickly dodged the paw that was coming at her, jumping out of the way. And then she set off running as the bear turned around and came after her. She dashed through the bushes and if she hadn't been in danger of being killed by a huge bear, she would have revelled in the feeling of how swiftly she was able to do it again. But since her ears could clearly make out the beast trampling through the woods behind her, she just concentrated on setting up a quicker pace. Tarya ran zigzag; slowing the bear down a bit as it wasn't as agile as her with its large body. Jumping over roots and low bushes that were threatening to hinder her, she made her way through the nocturnal wood. It was just a few moments later that she emerged from the forest itself and quickly made for Beorn's house._

_The bear snarled in anger as it chased after her and she felt slightly worried at how close he actually was, as she rounded the gate to Beorn's lands again. Further ahead, she saw Fili and Kili running straight up the stairs to the house where the companions were just opening the great wooden doors, probably having heard the two brothers scream for them to let them in. Tarya didn't know whether what she was about to do was a good idea. Maybe she should have led the bear away, further into the woods and not straight to the company. But she would eventually have been closed in on and she didn't want to know what Beorn would do to her in his current condition if he actually caught her. He'd probably tear her apart. The skin-changer didn't seem to really have control over what he was doing right now. He was bear thoroughly and at the moment, he was wild and angry. And she knew the only place to be safe from him now was his own home, since he had invited them to stay there._

_"Tarya!" she heard someone shout but she couldn't quite make out whom of the dwarves it had been, as she came running down the small hill that led to the house. The Amarok felt every muscle in her legs ache but she forced herself to go even faster for the last part of the way, hoping that she would gain enough advance so that the others could close the doors behind her before the bear could get into the house._

_When she reached the veranda, she jumped right over the stairs with one great leap, before slithering over the wooden floor of the porch right through the door, as the dwarves had hurriedly moved out of the way. She braked her own slithering sharply and turned around in one swift motion just in time to see her companions forcefully pushing the massive wooden doors closed. But just before they could lock into place, the black bear slammed against it with its huge head, the dwarves fighting with all their might to keep the door in place at the impact and not let him further in. Tarya saw Bilbo draw his sword, his face showing a peculiar mix of fear and courage, Gandalf – who had apparently returned – drawing his own sword beside him. Next to her was Oin who had his axe ready for battle and as Tarya looked back to the door, she saw that her companions were slowly being forced further back into the house together with the door they were so desperately trying to close._

_But Beorn was sticking his head through the gap between the two doors, as the dwarves tried to hold against it. The room was filled with their pained and strained groans and the roaring and growling of the black bear. Tarya quickly lunged forward again then, coming to stand on her hind legs, towering over Kili who was on his knees at the bottom of the door, trying to push against it and shielding him a bit like that. She fought her whole weight against the door, pressing her paws to it as she strained her neck to reach the bears head, before she vigorously sank her teeth in Beorn's snout that was sticking through the gap. The bear roared in pain, jerking its head back as she let go and the door immediately slammed closed with the weight of a whole company and an Amarok on it. Tarya quickly pushed herself off the door and took a few steps backwards as the others blocked the entrance with a large wooden beam._

_Her breathing was going heavy and fast and she watched the door closely, cocking her ears as she heard Beorn scratching and pawing against the wood from outside and she let her muscles relax slightly only when she was convinced that he couldn't get past the door. And sure enough, after a few moments, the noises stopped and as Tarya perked up her ears, she heard the bear trot off back the way it had come._

* * *

When the noises finally faltered and they were sure Beorn had left, the dwarves slowly let their weapons sink down and slid them back in their sheaths. The small group turned around then and all their gazes settled on the large wolf that was standing in their midst, panting heavily. The golden eyes of the familiar figure of the Amarok scanned the group until they settled on Kili who was making his way past the others, coming to a halt awkwardly as he met his animal friend's eyes.

She looked at him attentively as he shook his head slightly, his eyes still wide in shock when he gazed at her. The thoughts were swirling in Kili's head – How had she become a wolf again? What had happened? What did this mean? Would she stay like this forever now? Was the spell that had her being human broken? And what, in Mahal's name, had she been thinking when she had endangered herself for them like that again?!

But the only thing that really made its way into his conscious mind was that his friend was still alive and here, even though she had changed her form again. He smiled at her then, relief washing over him and the wolf made a small noise, resembling a whine, shifting her weight from one paw to the other. Kili took the last steps towards her ten and crouched down before her, putting his arms around the wolf's neck. As Tarya made a low grumbling sound, he started rubbing her neck affectionately, laughing as she pressed her head against his chest, leaning into his touch.

The company had fallen completely silent beside them, looking at the scene that unravelled before them.

"I'm really going to have your head one day soon if you keep doing things like that," he mumbled into the silky black fur, only for her to hear, before she took a small step back.

"_What_ in _Aulë's_ name **_happened_**?!" Gloin cried out to no one in particular, cutting through the silence in the room as he was completely at a loss of a coherent thought at the sight before him and the bear attack they had just survived.


	25. Recurring thoughts

**Oh god.**

**I'm really sorry this took so long! I had quite a busy time, my sister got married, job, life, ugh, and I just didn't have the time to upload anything until now. I hope you'll forgive me :D**

**_Chills_****: The Eternal Flame, huh? That just kinda makes that song go round and round in my head, whenever I read it xD**

**_Sam0728_****: I feel some anger towards Thorin here :D Let's hope he comes to his right mind soon and apologizes :P**

**_happypills27_****: Good old Gloin, he just has the best timing :D But Tarya and Kili will have a little moment in the next chapter, so I hope that will make up for that :D And I'm looking forward to meeting Tauriel, too, let me tell you :D**

**_DwarvenWarrior_****: Because I'm a meanie and won't let them have their moments :D But don't worry, the next chapter should make up for that, I think :D**

**_Doodler100_****: Oh, oh, if Gollum has to apologize for you, then something's definitely wrong :D I'm sorry for confusing you so much :D**

**Thank you all so much for your reviews, you guys, also to ****_kaia_****, ****_TheShawndaLee_****, ****_Borys68_**** and the lovely Guest review! :)**

**And thanks to the people who favorited and followed!**

**And now I'm done and I'll let you read :D Leave me a comment and I'll make sure that you won't have to wait as long for the next chapter! :)**

* * *

_Tarya watched Kili as he got to his feet. She was quite happy that his behaviour – although she could tell he was still shocked – had not changed. Kili truly was her friend, no matter whether she was human or wolf._

_No one said anything as Gloin's question hung in the air; instead they all kept staring at her. And she couldn't blame them, really, for she was quite surprised herself by the current events. She hadn't even actually realized that she had transformed again – it having happened just an instant before she had leaped – until after she'd knocked Beorn off his bear feet in the woods. She had run in the direction of Kili's and Fili's voices as fast as she could once she'd heard the bear approaching them from afar. But as she had been getting closer, she had become awfully aware that she was unarmed and that her body would never stand a chance against a bear in its human form and she had desperately wished to be wolf again because that had been the only way she could possibly help her two dwarven friends at all._

_Truly, this transformation had come just as much as a surprise to her as her first one. But it had felt different this time. Maybe it was because she had actually been conscious while it happened. Now, she felt like she knew the key to her transformation because there had only been two things on her mind as she had changed._

_The first one being her desperate will to do so._

_The second one being the absolute certainty that Kili and Fili would get hurt, probably even killed, if she couldn't change._

_Maybe Kili – the one person she'd committed herself to – and his life in particular being in imminent danger had been the last straw that had made her will strong enough to take control and make her transform. She didn't know. And she didn't know how much this commitment thing was influencing her relationship with the dwarf but it was a theory, at least._

_She hadn't actually listened to her companions that had by now started discussing wildly after having been assured by Gandalf that they would be safe for the night. Fili had pointed out that she had been a wolf already when they had found her, or rather, when she had found them, as he put it. The dwarves had started speculating then, making up theories as to how this could've happened but she didn't really listen to them. She had her own little theory and by now, the pain of her impact with the forest floor and Beorn's paw was making itself felt. Her ribs hurt badly and she was still panting rather hardly. Hopefully that would be gone in the morning, she thought._

_"She's hurt," someone pointed out over the different agitated voices in the room, successfully silencing the companions and catching her attention again but the Amarok felt anger sparking within her as she realized it had been Thorin to speak. Immediately, she felt several worried gazes on her and she huffed dismissively._

_"She cannot breathe properly," the dwarf-king continued, looking at Oin._

_The old healer frowned slightly at his king and Thorin pointed vaguely at Tarya's ribs, taking a small step towards her. Tarya instantly growled threateningly at him. Even though he was right – if there was one person in this room that she didn't want to have near her at the moment, it was Thorin Oakenshield. The dark-haired dwarf stopped dead in his tracks, sending her a weary glance as she bared her fangs at him warningly before she turned on her heels and trotted over to a corner of the hall. She didn't really want to be around any of them at the moment, really, but going back out was not an option, so she just resolved to separate herself from them as best she could._

* * *

The dwarves left Tarya alone after a while, after she had growled at first Oin who had wanted to check on her and then even at Bilbo who had wanted to get her to eat something. She'd successfully shooed both of them away. The dwarves continued their discussions for quite a while until late into the night, the only ones not participating in it were Gandalf, Thorin and Kili who were too preoccupied with their own thoughts at the time.

Gandalf had been quite surprised to see Tarya as a wolf again, although he had to admit that he had wondered whether something like this might happen. He had seen her appearance on the battlefield against Azog and his soldiers and the immense power that was slumbering within her human form. And he had wondered if it would somehow grant her the ability to change back, although the mere thought of it was quite bizarre since there had never been talk of human Amaroks before her, and none of ones being able to shift back and forth, either. But here she was, little Tarya, overthrowing almost everything the wizard knew about her kin.

Gandalf knew it was the 'origin of light' that was finally breaking through. Galadriel had told him that the Amarok had great power now and that she had, most definitely. More than Tarya herself or anybody here knew of, he was sure. The mere fact that she was able to shift between forms was proof for that, but also her fighting skills and the fire that was slumbering within her, waiting to come out whenever her anger was sparked enough.

Gandalf knew that if she were provoked enough, Tarya would be nearly invincible on the battlefield. And that was exactly the reason why he needed her to stay with this company.

The grey wizard had come to know about the little dispute she'd had with Thorin – nothing ever stayed hidden from him for long – and he could tell that the Amarok did not truly trust her companions anymore. And he could understand that, as well, knowing that Thorin was a proud dwarf who loved treasure as much as the next dwarf. Maybe even more. And Tarya was a treasure, after all, and she was worth much more than gems and gold. But she would be safe with them, the wizard knew, much safer than out in the wild on her own where she would be on display and accessible for any evil that wanted to make her theirs.

Thorin was sitting by the fire next to Balin who was talking to the group at the moment but he was only listening to his old friend with half an ear. He shot glances to where Tarya was lying in her dark corner from time to time, her black fur making her almost melt into the shadows. The wolf was still breathing rather strained but she had made it quite clear to all of them that she didn't want any help. And truly, he had seen that her wounds healed faster than theirs, so maybe she didn't need it, either.

He couldn't say that he was surprised that she had so openly shown her anger towards him, although he hadn't really been expecting her threatening growl when it had come his way. And he felt bad for what he had said to her earlier. Thorin had never really seen himself as a selfish person or someone who would draw advantage from another intentionally. And he could honestly say that he had never done anything like this in his years. However, the dwarf-king couldn't deny that his reasons for bringing Tarya with them had not been very kingly. He had considered her a treasure, a curiosity that could work to his advantage and he had to say that she did not deserve that. She was far more than just 'an Amarok'. She was a fierce warrior and a loyal companion. Tarya was loving and carefree as much as she was strong and truthful. Thorin felt guilt bubbling in his stomach, as he thought about the fact that this girl – or wolf – had associated herself with their quest without any contract binding her to it. And although Thorin was more than ready to grant her a fair reward at the end of the journey – just as much as Bilbo would get – he knew that she didn't really have any interest in the riches of Erebor. She wasn't driven by the prospect of wealth. That was not in her nature. Tarya had come with them because she had been haunted by something and ove time, she now helped them out of friendship and the belief in their cause and Thorin felt badly for not acknowledging that fully.

Kili was sitting next to his brother but his gaze was resting on the fire before him. His thoughts were still swirling around his canine friend. It was weird to see her in this form again all of a sudden. He had never actually thought about the possibility of her changing back to being a wolf and now he could have hit himself over the head for that. It had made him become painfully aware that she was actually a _wolf_ and he was a _dwarf_ and that the mere thought of them being anything more than just friends was downright ridiculous.

It was probably for the best that she had transformed, although there was an almost painful stinging in his chest when he thought about the possibility of her not changing back again. Kili didn't allow himself to explore the reason for that stinging any further and sighed heavily, trying to get these thoughts out of his head.

The young dwarf flinched when he suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. Fili sent him an asking glance as he looked down at him but Kili just shook his head slightly.

"You staying?" Fili asked then and as Kili looked around, he realized with surprise that they were the last ones still awake. When had the others all gone to sleep? He nodded slightly at his older brother then who shot him a short smile.

"Just a little while," Kili replied, pulling out his pipe as Fili turned and walked over to his bed.

The young dwarf lit his pipe and quietly stared into the dying flames for a while longer until he heard the tapping of steps on the wooden floor. As he looked up, he saw Tarya slowly trotting towards him and he frowned slightly as she walked past and around him but his frown gave way to a small smile as she lay down, curled around his back, laying her head on her paws next to his right leg. Kili slowly slid forward until he was lying on his back and his head was leaning comfortably against her torso. She huffed friendly and he slightly turned his head to look at her. Tarya was watching him out of the corner of her eyes.

"You all right?" he asked her quietly, feeling disappointed that she wouldn't be able to give him a real answer. That he wouldn't hear her voice, which he now realized he would miss if he never heard it again. The dwarf felt her body vibrate slightly as she grumbled in reply. He could only assume that meant yes.

"You know, I really would like to know how you did that," Kili mumbled then, raising one hand to pet one of her ears gently. He had always liked the greyish shade her fur had there. The wolf beneath him made a low, unhappy growling noise that made him raise an eyebrow at her, though he didn't say anything more and just resolved to quietly smoking his pipe and enjoying the warmth that was coming from both the fire and Tarya.

* * *

_Tarya woke early the next morning, feeling a strange weight on her body and as she raised her head and opened her eyes, she saw Kili who still had his head snugly lying on her torso. They must have fallen asleep in that position, she thought, slowly laying her head back on her paws, observing her friend's sleeping face. It was weird to wake up and seeing paws instead of hands but she had to admit that she quite liked being a wolf again._

_In her human form, she wouldn't have known where to go or what to do if she were to leave this company. But as a wolf, she was free to go wherever she wanted. She could go back to her old life and forget about this whole quest right there and then if she wanted. Maybe that would be the best thing to do._

_But then again, did she really want to leave? Looking at Kili's peaceful sleeping features, she wasn't so sure anymore what she was supposed to do._

_Suddenly, the doors swung open with a lout bang and Beorn came walking into the room with heavy steps, waking anyone who had still been asleep in the process. Kili's head jerked up and he hurriedly fumbled for his sword – which wasn't there – out of reflex. The bear-man was hobbling ever so slightly and he had a big bruise across his face._

_"You!" he cried out once he'd spotted them, walking towards Kili and Tarya who were on their feet in an instant, the Amarok flattening her ears and growling defensively while taking a few steps backwards. "What in the name of Eru do you think you were doing?!"_

_Kili came to stand before her then, apparently ready to fight the huge man with his bare hands if needed, although he wasn't even half as tall as Beorn. But the agitated skin-changer halted in his tracks, looking down at the dwarf before him for a moment, before he furrowed his brows deeply. "You're still in one piece I see," the skin-changer huffed._

_"Yes, after you tried to dismember me and my brother," Kili retorted and Beorn shot him an angry glare._

_"I have warned you not to stray outside after sundown, dwarf!" The skin-changer growled, towering over her brunette friend. "I am not to be blamed if you wander the woods at night and throw my warning to the wind."_

_"You are absolutely right," Gandalf interfered from beside them, as Tarya slowly let go of her defensive stance, coming to stand beside Kili who shot her a sideways glance. "Luckily, no one got hurt."_

_"I wouldn't say that," Beorn huffed, raising one eyebrow to emphasize the bruise on his face. He glanced down at Tarya who shot him a sheepish look._

_'You've not exactly been gentle to me, either, Master Beorn,' Tarya grumbled at him, knowing he understood the language of her kind. 'I had to protect my friends. It was my fault only that they were out there at that time of night and I apologize for causing trouble.'_

_Beorn looked at her silently for a moment as she slightly inclined her head in a way of apology, before he nodded abruptly with a slight grunt. "Do not disobey my orders again," he growled then, looking at Kili and her, before his gaze shifted towards Fili who had approached them from behind. The two dwarfs nodded and Tarya grumbled lightly, agreeing._

_The atmosphere lightened quite soon then as Beorn ate breakfast with them. Tarya wandered from Kili and Fili who both passed her some of their breakfast to Bilbo, slightly nudging his leg with her snout to apologize for her behaviour the night before. She had not meant to growl at the little hobbit, for she was sure that he did not have any ulterior motives in being friends with her. That was just not in his nature and Bilbo smiled happily at her as she allowed him to pat her head lightly._

_She mostly ignored the rest of the company and made herself comfortable near the door as Beorn started to tell them what he had been up to during the last night before his return. Apparently, he had gone to verify whether their story was true, walking back the way they had taken and past the Carrock. Tarya perked up her ears when he told them that he had found orc tracks leading towards the Carrock from the other side of the fjord they had crossed._

_It was highly probable that Azog and his soldiers were still after them. Tarya withheld a snarl as she thought about those filthy creatures, about the Defiler, still following them. They had obviously gained quite an advance on them with the help of the eagles but it would only be a matter of time until they would meet him and his soldiers again, that much was clear. And that was something that also the dwarves knew, for they all became quite serious after Beorn's announcement and decided to move on as soon as possible towards Mirkwood._

_Thorin seemed to become a brooding ball of anger and Tarya wondered what exactly had happened between the dwarf-king and the Defiler that she didn't know of. Thorin seemed to have more reason than anyone else in the company to hate him. Although he wasn't exactly her favourite person at the moment, she would have liked to find out more about it, for she knew very little of his story. Maybe if she did, she'd understand better what was going on in his head from time to time._

_Tarya left the house when Beorn started to explain that he would provide them with food and drink for their journey to Mirkwood and that he would lend them some of his ponies when they departed. The Amarok wasn't sure whether she needed to hear that. She wasn't even sure yet whether she would accompany them further and so she trotted away from the wooden house and lay down in the shadows of a few large trees that were standing quite a bit away from the entrance at the end of a green meadow._

_It was a few minutes later that some of the companions came outside as well, their weapons in hand. Tarya was joined by her two dog friends as the dwarfs started to train. She watched them from her spot, enjoying the company of Arvo and Kol, while she tried to make her mind up on whether she should stay or go._

* * *

Kili watched his fighting companions from the stairs on the front porch. Fili and him were not participating in this particular training session and had rather resolved to watch their companions compete against each other. Ori had already been defeated by his older red-haired brother while Bifur and Gloin were currently tied. Bilbo was practising a bit further away with Balin who had coaxed him into training for once, saying that it was crucial for the hobbit to learn to defend himself for the oncoming continuation of the quest.

The youngest Durin heir wasn't actually concentrating on the ongoing fights, though, his gaze continuously drifting back to where Tarya was lying in the shadows. She seemed rather distant since yesterday, he thought, and she kept separating herself from the company. Kili wondered what was going on in her head and he wished he could just go over to her and ask her. He watched her thoughtfully as she got to her feet and slowly disappeared into the bushes, leaving the two dogs on their own.

"Do you think uncle told us the truth?" Kili asked quietly, still looking towards the bushes she had vanished into. He heard Fili sigh silently beside him. Thorin had told them that Tarya wasn't just with them because he wanted to benefit from her powers before they had gone after her the night before. It had been a clear no but the hesitation before his uncle's answer had Kili wondering whether he had maybe been lied to, although he didn't really think that Thorin would do that.

He had been surprised that he had let Tarya come after Rivendell, just as everyone else had been. But she had proven herself and she had already been a true member of their company by then. They had long overcome the point of just seeing her as an interesting curiosity by now, had they not? Kili himself had never been at this point, really, and he was quite sure that most of the dwarves liked Tarya for _who_ she was and not for _what_ she was by now.

"Of course he has, Kee. Uncle wouldn't lie to us," Fili said, "and he knows what a valuable companion we have in Tarya. She's saved our lives more than once."

Kili nodded slowly, considering Fili's words. He was probably right.

"But I think she's still quite angry at him, considering the way she growled at him yesterday. Sounded like she would tear him apart if he came any closer. She probably still thinks we're just using her since no one told her otherwise," Fili added thoughtfully and his younger brother shot him a quick look.

"But we're not! She's our friend, she should know that," Kili exclaimed and Fili shrugged slightly.

"I know that but considering the history of her kin, I guess she has a tendency to mistrust," Fili mused.

The two brothers stayed silent for a moment, both lost in thought. "Do you think she'll leave us?" Kili asked then, the thought suddenly overcoming his mind. She wouldn't do that, would she? "I mean, she's a wolf again now, she could just…" he trailed off, not knowing what exactly he wanted to say.

"How would I know? You're the one who has the strongest bond with her here, not me," Fili replied, scratching his beard absent-mindedly. "But I think that if she were to leave us, you'd be the one able to convince her otherwise."

"Because of her commitment to me?" Kili huffed, rolling his eyes slightly. He still didn't know what that meant but it was the only thing beside their friendship that was actually binding them together somehow.

"No," the blonde dwarf muttered, sending his brother a thoughtful glance. "Not because of the commitment." And with that he got up and walked into the house, leaving a bewildered Kili to stare after him.


	26. Trust

**Hello, my dear readers, I hope you've all had a nice weekend!**

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* * *

It was already late afternoon, the dwarves sitting inside the house together with the hobbit, the wizard and the skin-changer, smoking their pipes when Tarya entered the room with heavy steps, trotting to the corner she had chosen as her spot the night before.

The company acknowledged her presence with a few curious sideways glances but she didn't pay them any attention.

"I'd almost forgotten what she originally looked like," Bofur said quietly, leaning back in his chair. Bifur grumbled something in Khuzdul in reply, making a few harsh signs with his hands to emphasize his point.

"I liked her better when she was human," Ori disagreed shyly, shrugging slightly when the burly dwarf raised his eyebrows at him. "She seems more menacing as a wolf."

"She doesn't seem menacing," Bombur chimed in. "She seems strong. But in a calm way, not menacing."

Kili shot the fat dwarf a questioning look but Bombur didn't notice and the young dwarf wondered what the redhead was thinking about when he glanced at the black wolf lying in the shadows of the room that was apparently not paying them any attention.

"Do you think she can change back?" Ori asked and almost flinched when a dark rumbling voice answered him.

"'Tis not a question of ability," Beorn said and captured the attention of the whole room. Only Gandalf didn't look at him but kept his gaze on the Amarok whose eyes were glowing through the dim light, pointing at the skin-changer who returned her gaze.

"What do you know of it?" Gloin asked and promptly caught himself a light growl from the bear man.

"I'm a skin-changer, am I not?" Beorn huffed.

"Yes, of course you are," the red-haired dwarf replied quickly, almost a bit abashed. "But Tarya isn't, she's – "

"She has shifted forms," Beorn cut him off roughly, looking back towards the black wolf in the corner. "Therefore, she is a shifter of sorts. The only difference between her and myself is that she has the same control over her body and mind in both of her forms."

There was a short silence in the room before Dwalin spoke up. "So, you say the wolf-girl can shift back?"

Beorn nodded, doing a slight shrug at the same time, which resulted in a weird looking gesture. "'Course she can. She knows it as well by now, I'd guess," he said, nodding towards Tarya who grumbled slightly at him. Beorn quirked one corner of his mouth up in reply to what no one beside him and Gandalf had understood. "Doesn't want to, though."

* * *

_Tarya felt the gazes of her companions on her as they inquired as to what Beorn meant with that. But she averted her gaze, her mind already having been made up. She knew she could change back to being human if she wanted to. She could feel it. It was as if she was holding on to something at the moment, a sort of string that held her to her wolf-being, and she would just have to let go of that to change back. She had realized by now that she had felt the same in the woods yesterday. She had just needed to get pushed enough to let go in order to transform._

_Gandalf looked at her questioningly and she shortly returned his gaze, the wizard's silvery-grey orbs boring into hers. He demanded an answer and he'd get one, she thought, making small grumbling noises followed by a low howl that echoed slightly through the room. Gandalf shortly closed his eyes with a sigh and Beorn slightly raised his eyebrows, looking around at the sitting dwarves who just looked confused._

_"Lass doesn't want to be human," Beorn grumbled, translating roughly what she'd just told them, obviously a bit annoyed with the dwarves who shot him incredulous looks. "She's a wolf – well, an Amarok – and she doesn't belong with you."_

_While the companions' looks shifted from her to Beorn to Gandalf and between each other, only the gaze of one dwarf was set firmly upon her and it made her feel slightly uncomfortable because she could feel it without even having to look at him. She saw Kili stare at her with an unreadable expression on his youthful face out of the corner of her eye and Tarya couldn't bring herself to look back at him and turned around, so she was facing the wall._

_"She'll be gone once morning comes and you depart for Mirkwood," Beorn explained, getting to his feet to leave the house as he did every night. The big wooden door fell closed behind him with a thud and left the room in a heavy silence. Tarya closed her eyes and tried to sleep, ignoring the words directed at her completely. And soon, darkness overtook her and she fell into a dreamless sleep._

* * *

Morning came soon and as Kili woke up, he saw that Tarya had apparently vanished with the first light, for there was no trace of her in Beorn's hall. She had actually gone, he thought and he felt a strange emptiness fill his body and mind as he got up, avoiding Fili's piercing gaze when he walked out the door. Some of the companions were already gathered on the small meadow in front of the house, packing a few ponies that Beorn was providing as he had promised. Kili saw his uncle talking to the skin-changer a few metres away, probably thanking him for his generosity and hospitality, and walked after his older brother towards the remaining ponies.

The young dwarf saddled and packed a lovely grey mare, all the while feeling somewhat numb to everything he was doing. How could she just leave like that? She was part of the company, they were friends and she just decided to throw it all away to go back to her life as a lone wolf? Kili couldn't believe it. And she hadn't even bid him farewell, he thought bitterly, and couldn't quite believe how hurt he felt at that.

Kili patted his pony's neck slightly when he was done, the animal neighing friendly at his gesture but the dwarf's movement stopped abruptly when he looked up and saw the familiar figure of the big black wolf sitting on the edge of the little oak-copse that surrounded one side of the meadow, watching him calmly across the field. The young prince felt something stir within him. She hadn't gone yet.

Gandalf, who had also spotted Tarya, quickly walked towards Kili, catching Thorin's attention in the process, causing the dwarf-king to follow him as he came to stand next to his nephew.

"Kili," said the old wizard calmly, although he felt quite agitated, really. The young dwarf turned his head to look at him questioningly. Fili beside him looked up as well. "Listen carefully now, young Kili, for I fear you are the only one able to prevent Tarya from running into perdition."

Said dwarf raised both eyebrows in surprise and slight worry. "What do you mean?" he asked lowly and Gandalf smiled slightly, relieved that he had Kili's full attention.

"Tarya is torn between her old life and the new one she began with her transformation in Rivendell," Gandalf said, "But it is vital that she stays with you. She has long overcome her sole existence as a wolf of the Amarok, she's something more now. Unique and more valuable than ever before and, I'm afraid, more endangered as well. I fear that if she ventures back into the wild on her own now, she will be the target of many who strive for might. And if her being falls into the wrong hands, she could live horrors that neither you nor I can imagine, young dwarf."

Kili looked at the wizard with wide eyes, his mind swirling with worry and confusion. Was Tarya really so powerful that she had to be… protected? Of course, he would protect her anytime if needed be and he didn't want her to live a fate as terrible as Gandalf was describing it. He would do anything to prevent that. And anyway, he had never wanted the Amarok to go.

"What do you mean by 'the wrong hands'?" Fili asked, stepping closer and quickly glancing at his uncle whose brows were furrowed deeply, before his gaze settled on the wizard.

Gandalf sighed deeply, obviously not quite sure what he could tell them and what not. "I'm afraid that an old evil is starting to form again in the south of Mirkwood and I will travel there to see for it myself soon. And evil has always had a desire for power. Tarya is powerful. And she is young and has suffered loss and therefore could make an easy target for manipulation."

"Tarya is strong, she cannot be manipulated so easily," Kili objected, brows drawn together.

"Strong she may be," Gandalf replied quietly, "But strength can be broken."

There was a short silence between the men before Thorin spoke lowly. "Her life is not safe if she were to stay with us, either."

"One is always safest in the company of friends," Gandalf replied, looking at Kili while he spoke, before he directed his gaze at Thorin. The dwarf-king inclined his head slightly, thinking about the wizard's words. Thorin didn't want for Tarya to be used or manipulated by anyone, him included. And he vowed to himself that she would have a true place amongst them, that he would try and be her friend from now on if she so wished, without any ulterior motives. He acknowledged her help with his quest as it was.

He nodded, looking at Gandalf and then at Kili who returned the nod slowly, exchanging a lingering look with his older brother who gave him a thoughtful smile, before he turned away from the three men and walked towards where Tarya was still sitting in the shadows of the trees.

* * *

_When Tarya finally saw Kili approaching, she got to her feet before she turned around and slowly walked through the bushes until she came to a halt on the little bank of the stream that was flowing through these woods. She heard Kili step through the bushes just a few moments later and she turned to look at him. He was just standing a few feet away, looking at her silently, his face betraying nothing of whatever he was feeling at the moment._

_As for her, she felt quite miserable, really, at the thought of leaving Kili. At the thought of leaving all of the companions but Kili in particular. But this would be the best thing to do. It was the best thing to leave this company now, for it had probably been a mistake to ever join them in the first place._

_"For a moment, I'd thought you'd left already," Kili finally said, crossing his arms before his chest and looking at her intently as she sat down and returned his gaze. She wouldn't be able to talk to him, but she could do her best to make him understand what she meant to tell him. So she tilted her head, humming slightly._

_"Yes, I know you wouldn't do that," Kili said and she shot him a smile, which he didn't return. "I don't understand why you want to leave at all."_

_Tarya stopped smiling and shot him a stern look but he continued before she could even try and make a sound. "No, I know why you think you should leave," the young dwarf said. "You think we're all just after your powers, after the… what's it called? The origin of light? But you're wrong, Tarya, and deep down you know it."_

_Tarya watched surprised as he stepped closer, one hand raised to emphasize what he was saying. "You're our friend and we all love having you with us. Not because you're an Amarok but because you're you. Because you're loyal and strong and kind. You've committed yourself to our quest, although you didn't have to and we're grateful for that."_

_"You're safe with us, safer than you'll be out in the wild alone." Kili was standing right before her now and she couldn't think quite straight anymore, shooting him a confused look. "It's what Gandalf said. And it's true, too. Something was haunting you when you first joined us but it has not bothered you since you've started travelling with us, has it?"_

_He was right there, Tarya thought. She knew there was something or someone out there who was after her. Or had been, as far as she knew. She remembered the whispering voice quite clearly, trying to convince her that she and her kin had been treated unkindly, unfairly and that she should avenge that fact with the owner of the voice. It had tried to manipulate her, had made her angry and blind. And it had almost succeeded, as well. But then her mother's voice had rung through her mind, told her to 'become light' and then she'd woken up as a little human who couldn't stand on her own two feet._

_Had this been fate? Had she been meant to change and to join those dwarves on their quest to reclaim the homeland that had been taken from them by an honourless greedy firedrake? Because maybe she couldn't avenge her own kin, couldn't have a home of her own, but she could help these exiles to reclaim theirs._

_Should she stay?_

_Tarya also knew that these dwarves, the hobbit and the wizard were good people. She trusted them, she trusted Kili above all, more than anyone she had ever met. Maybe she should just give them another chance?_

_She hesitantly looked up at her brunette friend who was returning her gaze intently. "Please, Tarya. Don't just leave. I… I would miss you…" he muttered, raising one hand to sadly stroke her head._

* * *

Kili looked down at his wolven friend, feeling terribly nervous but determined. Tarya looked up at him and there was something reflecting in her golden eyes, a feeling that Kili couldn't decipher. But he saw hesitation in her honey orbs and he slowly retired his hand from her head.

Tarya was looking at him attentively and Kili sighed silently. "Maybe you're transformation was meant to be, you know? It's an extraordinary gift and you like being human, I know that." The wolf averted its gaze slightly, grumbling a bit and Kili knew he was right. "Maybe you don't have to decide between being human or being wolf, Tarya," he continued slowly. "Perhaps you were always meant to be both."

"We don't want to use you," the young dwarf added earnestly and honestly. "I know you think that but it's not true. And if you give us a chance, we can prove ourselves to you the way you have proven yourself to us over and over again."

Suddenly, Tarya huffed some air through her nose as if in defeat and turned her head away for a moment, leaving Kili to stare at her nervously and expectantly. Then, the wolf looked back at him and inclined her head towards him and it took Kili a moment before he realized that she was pointing at his cloak with her snout. Frowning, he removed the garment and held it out to her, although he really didn't see what was going on now. Tarya stepped underneath his coat and made a small jerky movement towards the floor with her head. Guessing what she was trying to tell him but eyebrows raised in utter confusion, Kili let go of his cloak, the thing falling onto the wolf's form as it lay down.

Kili caught a last glance from Tarya before she closed her eyes and he quickly took an alarmed step backwards as the massive animal started to shrink before his very eyes. A shimmering light that was so faint Kili wasn't even sure it was actually there had come to surround his animal friend and the young dwarf could only watch with wide eyes as her limbs started to change swiftly underneath the warm glow.

It all went quite fast but for Kili it was as if he was staring at her for an eternity as her forelegs became bare arms and her big paws shrank and changed into delicate hands. In the end, the figure of the big black wolf had given way to that of a petite woman that was crouched on all four under his coat and when Tarya raised her head, Kili saw the familiar golden eyes beaming back at him out of the equally familiar beautiful face of his black-haired friend. She met his wide-eyed gaze with a calm one of her own, albeit she did look a little flustered, and they just looked at each other for a long moment. She had changed for him, Kili thought awestruck, and he knew that what had just happened here, was without doubt an incredibly intimate moment between the two of them.

His mouth was still hanging half open in shock and awe and he quickly snapped it closed when she shuffled a bit underneath his garment. Tarya pulled the cloak tighter around her as she came to sit on her knees and Kili suddenly became awfully aware that she was stark naked underneath the brown leather of his coat. He could feel his face turning bright red and quickly averted his gaze when she rose to her feet, the length of his coat allowing him to see her bare calves and feet.

There was an awkward silence between them as she stepped closer to him and he still couldn't meet her gaze, instead staring at the slowly purling stream behind her, his heart doing funny things inside his chest that he couldn't suppress.

* * *

_Tarya looked at Kili, trying to catch his gaze but he was stubbornly avoiding looking at her directly. She felt a bit flustered at what had just happened but she didn't regret transforming in front of him. It felt like she had shared something very important with him, something extremely intimate and he was the only one that she trusted enough to do so._

_"Kili," she muttered quietly and could see him inhale deeply before he finally turned his head and she could look into his dark brown eyes again. The Amarok smiled slightly at her friend, seeing that he was at a loss of what to say or do. She didn't quite know what to say herself, for there were too many things she wanted to say but she couldn't articulate even one of them properly. She would stay with them and she was ready to give them a second chance, knowing that they would never intentionally hurt her._

_"I trust you," she finally mumbled, hoping that this would be enough for him to understand._

_And Kili did understand, looking at her for another long moment in which Tarya couldn't avert her gaze from his, feeling as if she had been frozen in place by the intent look he was giving her, although strangely not in a bad way. There was a funny feeling in her stomach and for a moment she wondered whether she was hungry._

_Eventually, Kili cleared his throat slightly, giving her a small smile and held out his right hand to her. Tarya smiled brightly, putting her left hand in his, holding the cloak together with her right one. Kili turned around then and led her away from the stream and she followed him through the bushes with bare feet, their hands wrapped tightly together when they emerged from the little copse._

_There were a few surprised gasps and grunts from her companions when she crossed the meadow beside Kili, feeling him tugging her slightly closer to him when they passed the first dwarves. She caught a few gazes and returned them with a shy smile but Kili had already led her into the house before anyone had recovered enough to say something._

_He let go of her hand to reach for her bag that lay beneath one of the beds, which still stood in the hall and held it out to her. Tarya took it with a slight smile, hugging it to her chest._

_"I'll… I'm gonna wait outside," Kili spluttered and she just nodded at him before he turned around. She had just been about to turn her back on him when he turned around again and took two big steps towards her, grabbing her head gently between his hands and pressed a small kiss to her forehead. "I'm glad you're staying," he whispered against her skin and as he pulled back graced her with a soft smile that had her speechless for a moment, giving him enough time to turn away from her – this time definitely – and exiting the house to leave her to get dressed._

_Tarya stared after him and at the closed door with wide eyes for a long moment, not understanding what had her stomach fluttering so strangely._


	27. A dwarf's one

**Weeew, hello there! We've got a new chapter on our hands and it's quite long and I hope you're going to like it :D**

**_Doodler100_: You burned his coat! Why would you do that, he needs that thing, what's the poor guy gonna do now when it gets cold? xD And he didn't exactly gawk at Tarya naked, he didn't see anything, since she was covered by his coat. She'd actually thought of that :D**

**_DwarvenWarrior_: Yeah, unfortunately they're both a bit slow on the feelings-front... Buuut Kili's having a little realization in this chapter so you can hope that things are going to get moving a bit faster from now on :D At least if he gets his shit together xD I won't tell you when they're gonna get together but it won't take so much longer, I tell you that :D I'm really happy to hear that you liked the last chapter so much because it's one of my favorites as well :)**

**_happypills27_: Haha, I'm glad you liked it :D Let's see when they finally get it together and kiss already :D**

**_Teshka_: Kilarya ftw :D I'm glad you liked it! And I have some more Kilarya in this chapter for you :D**

**_TheQueenOfErynLagasryn_: Happy to hear you like the story! I hope it stays that way! :)**

**Thanks for your reviews guys! Also to _DJ Sparkles_, ****_ZabuzasGirl_, _kaia_ and _Angel Bells_! :)**

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**Now read and leave me a review, I'd love to hear from you guys! :D**

* * *

_As Tarya – now fully dressed, with her bag on her back and Kili's coat in her right hand – stepped out of the door, feeling it fall close behind her with one of its usual thuds, all gazes fell on her and she averted her eyes to the floor, feeling a bit embarrassed by her companions' staring._

_"Tarya!" Bofur called out cheerfully, causing her to raise her head and look at him as she walked down the stairs of the front porch. The dwarf with the big brown moustache was sitting on a light brown pony, sending her one of his trademark bright smiles. "Glad you decided to go on with us as we attempt to shove a bit of dwarfish iron up Smaug's backside!"_

_Tarya looked at the hatted dwarf for a moment with both her eyebrows rising in bafflement, as some of the others laughed while the rest shot Bofur strange looks or just shook their heads quietly to themselves. Tarya chuckled slightly to herself._

_"Wouldn't want to miss it for the world," the Amarok then grinned and Bofur returned the gesture as she walked past him until she reached Kili who was standing beside a grey pony together with his brother, his uncle, Gandalf and Beorn. The skin-changer shot her a look with one eyebrow raised as she came to a halt next to them, handing Kili his coat quickly, which he took with a small smile._

_"I see you've changed your mind," Beorn grumbled, making her look up at him._

_"I have," Tarya replied decidedly and Beorn sighed silently, giving her a thoughtful look before he nodded and turned back to the others again._

_"I have given you all the help I can," the skin-changer exclaimed. "The food I gave you will last long if you ration it with care and it will stay good for a long time. You will find streams and springs along the road, so you do not have to carry any water for now but your way through Mirkwood is dark and dangerous. Water is not easy to find there, nor food, and the wild things in that forest are dark, queer and savage. You will need the water-skins I gave you and the bows and arrows. Although I doubt anything you will find in Mirkwood will be good to eat or drink."_

_Tarya listened to the bear-man worriedly, her spirit sinking a bit at Beorn's grave words and as she looked around, she saw that also the others' faces were painted with seriousness now rather than the easy smiles that they'd had on them before. Tarya knew that Mirkwood was a dark place and the prospect of travelling through it was not one that she was particularly looking forward to. She only hoped that they would make it through without encountering problems. But even if they managed to avoid danger – which they seemed to attract almost magically – there was still a dragon waiting at the end of this journey and an orc troop on their heels. Tarya suppressed a sigh as she pushed these thoughts aside and returned her attention to Beorn._

_"There is one stream there that I know of that flows through the forest," he continued earnestly. "Black and strong it crosses the path. You must neither drink of it, nor bathe in it, for it carries enchantment that causes great drowsiness and forgetfulness." He shortly looked around, his gaze resting on the bows and arrows he had given the dwarves and which were now strapped to their backs. Even Tarya had received one, although she really couldn't handle it at all. "I doubt that you will shoot anything wholesome without straying from the path…" Beorn said. "And that you __**must**__**not**__ do for any reason. __**Never**__ stray from the path!"_

_As Tarya looked up, she saw Beorn's gaze resting heavily on her, the skin-changer looking at her thoughtfully. "I'm afraid that is all the advice I can give you. Beyond the forest gate, you will have to depend on your own courage and luck. I must ask you to send back my ponies and horse once you reach the forest gate but I wish you all good luck and speed. And know that my house is open to you if you ever decide to come back this way again."_

_The dwarves thanked Beorn and said goodbye with a lot of 'at your service' and many bows, which the skin-changer accepted a lot less grumpily than when they had arrived here. Tarya stepped up to him as the rest of the dwarves that were not yet seated on their ponies went to mount their steeds and bid him farewell._

_"You will always be welcome here, Tarya, daughter of the Amarok," Beorn muttered, bending down to put one large hand heavily on her shoulder. "I do hope you find what you are looking for."_

_Tarya frowned at the bear man as he shortly averted his gaze to something behind her but she didn't have enough time to follow his gaze before he had brought it back to her. "Thank you," she answered quietly, not quite sure of what to reply, "Beorn, master of the wide wooden halls, friend of wolves."_

_Beorn gave her a smile then that she hadn't seen on him before, an almost gentle one that didn't quite fit his rough features but was nice nonetheless. He retired his hand, standing back upright just as Kili called out for her._

_"Until next we meet," Tarya smiled brightly at the huge man who nodded at her, before she turned around and walked up to the grey mare – which went by the name of Dusty – that Kili was sitting on by now. She quickly turned around once more as she heard loud howling from behind her and as she did so, her gaze fell upon Arvo and Kol, the two dogs standing next to their master and crying out their farewell to her. Tarya smiled broadly towards them, walking backwards and waving to them until she came to a halt next to Kili's pony, turning around and not quite knowing what to do now._

* * *

Kili grabbed hold of the reigns as he looked down at his black-haired friend who was standing awkwardly beside his pony, looking around almost nervously.

"What is it?" he asked her with a slight frown. Tarya looked up at him, looking a little bashful in his opinion.

"I can't ride," she said quietly and Kili's mouth opened slightly in understanding. Of course, she didn't know how to ride; she'd never even sat on a pony before. The only time she had been on a horse had been when she had been brought into Rivendell by the elves and she had been unconscious and a wolf then, which were both not really helpful to gain experience.

"You ride with Kili," a deep voice announced and Kili, as well as Tarya, turned their heads to see Thorin sitting on his dark brown steed behind Tarya. Kili witnessed a lingering eye contact between Thorin and her, his uncle inclining his head slightly at the Amarok who just looked at him silently for a moment before she nodded shortly and turned back towards him with a little anticipation in her golden eyes that were shimmering brightly with the morning sun reflecting in them. Kili quickly dismounted Dusty again as Thorin moved past them, grabbing Tarya's arm gently and pulling her forward until she was standing right beside the grey pony, the young Durin prince coming to stand behind her.

"Ready?" he asked her.

"For wha-aah!"

Kili had grabbed her by the hips, lifting her up onto the pony in one powerful move, although she really was light enough so that he didn't need much strength to get her up. He chuckled when she quickly gripped the front part of the saddle, her eyes wide as she looked down on him, trying and failing to give him an angry glare. Luckily, Dusty was quite a relaxed mare and didn't mind the nervous Amarok on her back that tried to get a better hold of something in order to keep her balance.

Kili then swiftly swung himself onto the pony so that he was seated behind Tarya, before he brought both arms up and around her sides to grab the reigns, effectively assuring that she wouldn't fall off.

He made Dusty move forward then, following the others that had already started to leave for the great hedge that marked the end of Beorn's lands.

As they started out on the road, Kili's thoughts travelled back to the moment he had shared with Tarya this morning. He hadn't quite believed Fili when he'd said that he would be the only one able to convince her to stay but apparently his older brother had been right. And Kili knew that it wasn't just because of this strange commitment phenomenon but because Tarya trusted him. He couldn't believe his eyes when she'd transformed before him, his mind telling him that he should feel weird about this, that it was abnormal but somehow it had only made her even more beautiful in Kili's eyes. Tarya had an extraordinary gift and she had shared it with him.

Kili knew that he was the only person to have ever seen her like this and for some reason he wanted it to stay like that. Tarya had practically exposed herself to him with transforming from the massive black wolf to the small woman he liked so much right before his eyes and ever since she'd done it, his heart hadn't stopped thumping hardly in his chest. There was a strange fluttery feeling that felt like it was running through his very flesh and bones and there was warmth expanding from his chest into his whole body every time he so much as looked at the Amarok. It was very confusing and having her sit so close in front of him as they rode wasn't really helping to analyse what it was all about.

Additionally, if it hadn't been for his coat covering her this morning, Kili would have seen parts of her body that had him blushing slightly just at the thought. He had never actually thought about what Tarya looked like underneath her clothes before but now, suddenly, he had become more aware of the curves that her body possessed, to her body as a whole, actually. It was as if a thread had snapped within him that had been knotty for a very long time.

He had liked the feeling of her hand in his and had found that he didn't actually want to let her go once he'd grabbed hold of it. He had pulled her closer to himself when they had passed their companions, something he'd done without actually thinking about it, albeit now he realized that he'd wanted to protect her from their gazes. Sure, she'd been nicely covered with his cloak but still there had been the feeling that none of them were supposed to see her like this and that he was the one who ought to ensure that they didn't.

Kili was ripped out of his thoughts when Fili – who was riding to their right – spoke up.

"You know, I have never seen anyone looking so uncomfortable on a pony before," the blonde dwarf stated with a grin, receiving a glare from the Amarok, although her position didn't change in the slightest, her every muscle staying strained. Tarya was still clutching to the front of the saddle, her body completely stiff, even as they had now been on the road for a while.

"Truly, even Bilbo made a better first impression on his pony when we first left the Shire," Bofur provided from their left side. "And he made a _horrible_ impression."

Kili heard Tarya sigh silently in front of him as the others chuckled quietly but she stubbornly refused to relax even one muscle and Kili shook his head slightly. There was no way she wouldn't feel each of her muscles aching tonight if she didn't start to relax soon.

"I don't care," the Amarok grumbled. "This is completely foreign to me. It feels horribly weird and uncomfortable and I feel like I'm going to fall off as soon as I move."

"You won't fall," Kili answered, eyeing the space left on the saddle between her back and his front. "But you need to relax. It will be more comfortable if you do."

"I can't," she said decidedly and the young dwarf rolled his eyes slightly, catching his brother's amused gaze over her head and deciding that if she didn't want to listen, he would just make her relax on his terms.

* * *

_Tarya flinched violently when Kili suddenly let go of the reigns with one hand, wrapping his left arm around her waist instead. He pulled her backwards forcefully over the small bit on the saddle between them until her back was pressed flush against his chest._

_"Let go of the saddle," he mumbled into her ear, her breath almost hitching in her throat at the deep tone of his voice. What was he doing? She was about to protest, saying that she would fall to the floor if she did so but he cut her off before she could even start. "You won't fall off. I've got you," he muttered and she felt his warm breath brushing against her cheek as he spoke, at the same time putting a bit more pressure on his grip around her body to emphasize his words. A strange feeling filled her at this that she couldn't decipher nor describe properly and she reluctantly let go of the front of the saddle. In a lack of where to put her arms instead, she grabbed the arm that was encircling her middle, it being strong enough to provide her with the same feeling of balance._

_"Good," she heard Kili say next to her ear, his voice sounding a bit deeper than usual, and she could practically hear the satisfied smile in it. "Now relax."_

_It took her a few moments but eventually, she managed to relax her muscles as much as possible, leaning back slightly against her friend's chest, before he squeezed her middle slightly, acknowledging her actions. She felt Kili's thumb trail small calming patterns over her tunic where his hand rested and smiled slightly._

_"Now that looks cosy," Fili chuckled as Kili shuffled slightly behind her to get into a more comfortable position, all the while keeping a solid hold of her._

_"Well," Bofur spoke up with a grin. "Now we can say that we have actually seen a wolf riding a pony."_

_Tarya laughed slightly at that and felt Kili's chest rumble with his chuckle against her back but as she turned her head, her laugh slowly died down when she saw Fili who was smiling as well but at the same time looking at her strangely, making her wonder what the blonde dwarf was thinking about. The thoughtful expression disappeared from his face when he blinked at her, sending her a short wink before he turned to look forward again and Tarya wondered whether the hiding of facial expressions behind a mask of cheerful neutrality was a special talent of the Durin brothers, for she had seen Kili do the exact same thing._

_The four of them soon got caught up in a light-hearted conversation then that progressed for a long time and Tarya had to admit that she was more comfortable in her new position, slowly getting used to sitting on a horseback._

_Even so, she couldn't feel her bum anymore once they reached a place to camp for the night._

_Kili helped her down from the pony and as she slowly made her way over to where they were setting up camp, she met Bilbo's gaze. The hobbit was unpacking some flour from his backpack to give it to Bombur who needed it to make dinner, when she sat down next to him with a low groan._

_"Don't worry, it gets better," Bilbo smiled as she rubbed her sore legs. "I couldn't feel my legs for a week after I was forced onto a pony at the beginning of this quest."_

_Tarya shot him an incredulous look. "A week?!" she called out, drawing a few curious gazes her way._

_"Maybe you'll adapt quicker than me," Bilbo hurriedly tried to cheer her up but to no avail. She let herself fall backwards and stared up to the darkening sky with a pained expression._

_"She won't have a week, we'll reach Mirkwood in a few days and then go on without the ponies," Bofur said, taking a seat beside her._

_"Thank the gods," Tarya mumbled, earning a snicker from the hatted dwarf. She sighed silently to herself, not sure whether she wouldn't rather spend more time on a pony than entering Mirkwood so soon._

* * *

Fili was assigned first watch that night and as everybody else went to sleep, he found himself a nice spot near the fire for the time being. Soon, snores started to fill the camp, some light, some quite loud, and Fili caught himself thinking about the journey ahead of them. He wondered what was waiting for them in Mirkwood, for he'd heard stories of that forest that didn't exactly make him look forward to entering it. Fili knew that passing the forest would be the most dangerous part of their journey, which seemed to be a rather dark prospect, since their journey so far had not exactly been a walk in the park, either. They'd almost been roasted by trolls, been hunted down by orcs, almost crushed to their deaths by stone giants, got collared by goblins and they'd had a rather nasty encounter with orcs once more afterwards that most likely were still on their heels. But they'd come out of it more or less unhurt and Fili sure hoped that luck would remain with them.

His gaze wandered over to where the Amarok was sleeping peacefully next to his little brother. Kili had turned towards her in his sleep while Tarya was lying on her stomach, her face turned towards him. Fili shook his head slightly as he put another branch into the fire to keep it going nicely. He wondered whether these two would get it together before the end of the journey, really.

He didn't know whether Kili was simply clueless or rather in denial of his own feelings towards the girl, although he reckoned it was a bit of both. Fili knew his brother better than anyone else in Middle-Earth and he could read him like an open book. His little brother had always liked Tarya and Fili was sure that there had been deeper feelings from the moment he'd first seen her human form in Rivendell; Kili had just not realized it. But ever since then, there had sometimes been a very particular expression on Kili's face when he'd looked at the Amarok. An expression that Fili knew because he remembered it from when he was little. It was the same expression their father used to have on his bearded face when he'd looked at their mother. And Fili knew for a fact that their mother and father had been each other's One.

The blonde dwarf sighed slightly and looked up to the stars, realizing that his shift was almost over and that he would have to wake the very person his thoughts had been circling in a few minutes. With another sigh, he put two more branches into the flames before he got up and walked over to the sleeping Kili.

The brunette dwarf woke slowly and only when Fili nudged his shoulder rather harshly, he finally opened his eyes completely.

"Your turn, sleepyhead," Fili muttered, helping his brother to his feet with one hand. Kili yawned slightly.

"Your waking methods are as affectionate as ever, brother," Kili grumbled, rubbing his shoulder slightly. Fili chuckled quietly.

"You know you like it."

Kili rolled his eyes at the blonde dwarf and shortly glanced down at the sleeping Amarok to his feet, unconsciously making sure that she was safe and well, before walking over to the fire. Fili, having noticed the gesture, watched him before he decided that his sleep could wait for a little while longer. Kili looked up questioningly as he sat down next to him. "Are you not going to sleep?"

"In a minute," Fili replied, not quite sure whether what he was about to do was a good idea but deciding to do it anyway. Kili just shot him a questioning look, the fire causing the shadows to dance on his face. Fili glanced over to Tarya who was still lying in the same position as before. "You're quite protective of her."

Kili followed his brother's gaze for a moment before he looked back into the flames, shrugging slightly. "She trusts me. I'm only trying to look out for her," he replied rather vaguely. Fili raised his eyebrows as Kili looked at him and the younger dwarf exhaled a long breath.

"She trusts me," Kili repeated quietly.

"You make it sound like that's a bad thing," Fili answered and Kili shook his head slightly, staring into the fire, his expression hardening somewhat.

"It's not, I just… I saw her transform. She trusted me enough to transform in front of me, Fee."

The elder's eyebrows rose in surprise and understanding. That indeed seemed like a big step in their relationship. Fili could imagine that Tarya wouldn't change in front of just any person. But that still didn't explain the hard look on Kili's face.

"And that's bad because…?"

Kili sighed heavily. "It's not bad, it's just... I –" he snorted slightly. He'd had his thoughts swivel around this very topic over and over again the whole day and hadn't gotten to an explanation. There was no way he'd find one now. "Never mind."

But Fili's interest was definitely piqued now. His brother seemed to be deeply troubled by something and the blonde dwarf was determined to get it out of him. And as if Kili knew that, he turned his head towards him with another small sigh. Fili raised his eyebrows in question, seeing uncertainty flicker in his little brother's eyes. It was only a short moment later that Kili lowered his gaze and spoke up again, this time quieter, almost as if he was ashamed of what he was about to say. But if he couldn't talk to Fili about it, then whom could he ever?

"I feel strange," Kili admitted and upon an inquiring look of his brother, he continued. "Ever since she's changed, there's this… feeling… inside me."

"What feeling?" Fili asked curiously.

"It feels as if my whole body was on fire," Kili mumbled quickly, barely audible. "My heart beats as if it wanted to jump out of my very chest each time I so much as look at her and…" he trailed off and Fili's brows furrowed as he leaned forward to get a better look at his brother's face. The brunette was looking back at him from underneath his lashes, seeming embarrassed by what he'd just said.

"And?"

"And I don't know what to do about it," Kili muttered quietly. Fili didn't know what to say or how to respond to his brother's confession. He had more than just a suspicion what was causing his brother to feel the way he did, of course, but he was quite sure that Kili didn't want to hear about that theory if the way he was glaring at the campfire was anything to go by. Fili still gave it a try.

"You know, I've heard people say things like that when they're in – " he started casually, only to be interrupted immediately by his younger brother.

"You know that's impossible," Kili huffed, though not raising his gaze from the flames. The thought, of course, had entered his mind a while ago but was in itself utterly ridiculous. That couldn't be it.

"Dwarves can't…" he hesitated for a second, inhaling slightly. "Dwarves can't fall in love with non-dwarves."

* * *

Two days of being on the road later, the company was as merry as they had been when they'd first left the Shire and for Kili it didn't even really feel like the dangerous quest they were on at the moment. The late summer weather provided them with so much warmth and sunshine, dipping their surroundings' greens into warm light before they would soon turn into brown, red and orange tones when autumn would claim the lands, that everything just looked beautiful.

Even the evenings were quite warm and they had enough light until late so that Kili had taken on the opportunity to teach Tarya how to use the bow Beorn had given her. Thorin had agreed that there was no use in her having it if she couldn't handle it. She was not very good at it, though, Kili had to admit. There was nothing of the naturalness with which she wielded her daggers but Kili was determined to get her to at least be able to shoot an arrow and hit something with it. Tarya was easily frustrated though and therefore made a rather difficult student.

"This is ridiculous," he heard her growl and as he turned his head, he saw her dropping her arms with a huff. Kili shot his friend a pointed look from the fallen tree trunk he had been sitting on for the last twenty minutes. Tarya was standing in the middle of the small clearing they were using as a practice ground, looking at him with an exasperated expression on her pretty face.

"It's not ridiculous," Kili replied, crossing his arms over his chest. "You need to have the right position before you shoot or you'll never actually hit your target."

"How could I possibly hit something if you don't even give me my arrows to use?" she asked angrily, kicking slightly at a few pebbles on the ground.

"I'll give you your arrows when you have the right stance and until then the twig will do. Because last time you had an arrow, you missed the target by the-gods-know-how-much and almost hit Dwalin in the leg," the young dwarf replied light-heartedly, leaning forward on the tree trunk, as he glanced at the quiver filled with arrows that was lying to his feet on the forest floor. When he looked back up, Tarya was practically glaring at him and the dwarf felt a small smile tugging on his lips.

"That wasn't intentional," she huffed.

"Which is exactly the point," Kili said, getting up and walking over to her. "Had you actually been aiming at his leg, I wouldn't be bothering you like this. I mean, I would be quite concerned that you tried to cripple one of us but – "

"You've made your point," Tarya grumbled, turning away from him and Kili chuckled quietly to himself.

"Show me your stance again," he ordered then, sobering up, and as she did so, he slightly shook his head as he stepped up behind her. The only things in the right position were her feet. Kili slowly stepped closer, their bodies almost touching as he did so. "You need to turn your upper body a little more, you're way too tense, your right arm is too high up and you're gripping the bow too tightly."

He heard her growl, even though she'd obviously tried to suppress it, for it came out a bit muffled. Nevertheless, she tried to adjust her position to his comments. Kili pressed one hand to the small of her back to keep her rightly positioned as she slightly turned her torso towards him. Then she lowered her right arm and her grip on the bow lightened ever so slightly. Kili nodded to himself. "Good. Now relax."

"That's the second time you said that to me in a span of three days," she muttered, slightly irritated, he could tell, but he still felt the tension in her back lessen beneath his hand.

"And both times you listened," he grinned, murmuring into her ear before he took a step back to look at her. "That's it. Now hold that position for a moment and you can try it with an arrow again."

Kili turned around, went to pick up the quiver from the floor and returned to her just a few seconds later. He could already see the tension in her arm from keeping the bowstring drawn but she didn't show a sign of strain on her face.

"There you go," he muttered, handing her an arrow. She took it with a sceptic look, before she threw the twig he'd forced her to use away, nocking the arrow as he gave her a little nod. "Point towards that tree and draw." Tarya didn't respond and he watched her comply with his order, her body settling into the position she'd been holding just moments ago, much more accurate this time.

Kili stepped closer again, putting one hand on her left hip, the other coming up to adjust her right elbow a little bit. He couldn't deny that he was finding far too much pleasure in having so much physical contact with her and for a moment, he got distracted when his nose grazed her hair and an almost sweet earthy scent filled his nose.

His heart gave a hard thump in his chest that had Kili almost cursing under his breath. Could that bloody thing not just mind its own business for a moment?

The young dwarf felt the Amarok slightly turn her head towards him, a questioning look on her face and he quickly cleared his throat, pushing his thoughts into a dark corner of his mind. "Good, good. Now release. And try not to hurt yourself or anyone else."

Tarya muttered something under her breath that Kili couldn't make out but he was quite sure it had been nothing nice. He nudged her slightly in the ribs and she snorted slightly at him, although not angrily, before she released the arrow. It hit the tree with a satisfying thud and as Tarya lowered her arms, he quickly took a step back.

"Good," he acknowledged. "Another one."

* * *

_Tarya felt her arms ache slightly when they finally stepped through the bushes to where they had set up camp that night. It made her happy that she'd finally made some progress with the bow thanks to Kili but still, she was quite grateful that it had become too dark to keep training. Her legs already hurt from the continuous riding; she didn't need her arms to end up the same way.  
And she needed to get some space between herself and the brunette dwarf, if she was to be honest. Ever since they'd left Beorn's, she felt strange around him and she couldn't tell why for the life of her. Every time he touched her, her stomach tightened and each time he spoke to her, there was this strange fluttering feeling that invaded her body. By the gods, sometimes even a look from Kili was enough, she thought gruffly. She had no idea what her body was trying to tell her but she sure didn't like it._

_The dwarves looked up as the both of them walked up to Bombur to collect their dinner._

_"Went better this time I take it?" Nori asked, looking up from his plate._

_"There were no further assaults on any of my limbs, so I'd go with a yes," Dwalin grumbled from beside Thorin and Tarya shot him an unnerved look._

_"I apologized, didn't I?"_

_Dwalin grunted and slightly raised one eyebrow at her before he just shrugged, digging his fork back into his food._

_"It did go better, though," Kili provided from her side, before giving her a small smile as he sat down. Tarya made her way over to Bilbo, choosing to sit beside the hobbit that evening. "It went well."_

_"Good," Thorin said, causing her to look at him across the fire for a moment, meeting his gaze. They hadn't actually talked much since the incident at Beorn's house and the dwarf-king hadn't apologized. That wasn't really in his nature, Tarya knew by now. But there was some sort of silent agreement between them that had been set up when she decided to stay with them. She would help them as best she could and he accepted that there was nothing more to it than that. She lowered her gaze to the plate on her lap and stuffed her mouth, not caring that Bilbo shot her a little disgusted look from where he was sitting next to her._

_"You really have no manners," the hobbit accused, watching her stuffing half of a large potato in her mouth. "Ladies shouldn't eat like that."_

_"Thankfully, I'm a wolf and not a lady, Bilbo," Tarya replied grinningly, making some of the others chuckle while the hobbit shook his head with a sigh. "Why doesn't a lady eat like that, anyway? How does a lady eat, then?"_

_"Well," Bilbo huffed slightly, before he drew himself up to sit a bit straighter. Tarya shot him a sideways glance. "A woman shouldn't stuff her mouth like that. Ladies shouldn't speak with their mouths full of food and they certainly shouldn't eat with their fingers. In fact, no one should, female or male."_

_Tarya shot the hobbit a sheepish grin as she popped the sausage in her mouth, licking her fingers. Fili – who was sitting a bit further away next to his brother – chuckled heartily as Bilbo raised his eyebrows at her, obviously displeased with what he saw._

_"And why not?" she asked once she'd swallowed, deliberately trying to at least comply with one of his rules._

_"Well, for one thing, it's not a very attractive thing to do," the hobbit said and Tarya frowned slightly._

_"Attractive?" she asked and raised her eyebrows as Bilbo suddenly became a little flustered, redirecting his gaze to the food in his lap._

_"Aye, you won't find a man if you have worse table manners than him, lass," Gloin chuckled amusedly._

_"Well, you'd know. You're married, aren't you? How are your wife's table manners then, Gloin?" Bofur asked, earning an irritated glance from the red-haired dwarf as he grinned at him._

_"They are impeccable!"_

_"No, they're not," Oin laughed from his brother's side. "Her eating manners are as bad as yours, brother, you're just not bothered by it."_

_Gloin's expression became a little harder at that and he shot his brother an angry look. "Rimma's manners are immaculate!" the burly dwarf exclaimed, puffing out his chest, obviously determined to defend his wife's honour even if it was just about the way she ate._

_Tarya exchanged a small glance with Gandalf who just watched the scene before him with an amused twinkle in his grey-blue eyes. The wizard winked at her when he saw her looking at him and Tarya smiled slightly before she directed her gaze back to Bilbo as he muttered something under his breath. Luckily, since her transformation at Beorn's, her senses were working better and her ear was accurate enough to have heard the hobbit's words as clearly as if he'd exclaimed it out loud._

_"It would certainly bother me," the small man with the brown curly hair had said and Balin who was sitting to the hobbit's other side had apparently been close enough to hear it as well, for he gave Bilbo a mild look._

_"Not if she were your One, it wouldn't, lad," the old dwarf said and Bilbo looked up at him with a confused look. Tarya was staring at the old warrior, as well._

_"His One?" the Amarok asked uncomprehendingly, shooting a confused glance to Gloin who was looking rather smug. Fili coughed slightly, causing her to look at him across the fire but his gaze was directed at his younger brother. But Kili was keeping his gaze on his food, and so she looked back to Balin who smiled gently at her._

_"Aye, lass," the old warrior said. "Dwarven women are rather scarce, you might need to know. And marriage among our kin is therefore not as common as it is for the race of Men, for example. Many of us never get married, either because we don't find a woman or because we are already married to our craft, you could say."_

_Tarya nodded slightly, a small frown on her face as she concentrated on Balin's words. The camp had gotten considerably quieter ever since he'd started talking but the Amarok didn't really notice that. "And what is it with 'the One', then?" she asked. To her surprise it was Fili who answered._

_"A dwarf can find his One, although it's quite seldom, since we don't have as many women. Your One is the one you were made for, your soul mate."_

_"Your soul mate?" Bilbo asked, obviously intrigued as well by the dwarves' tale. Fili nodded. "And… what happens when you find them?"_

_"You fall in love with them," the blonde prince stated the obvious with a shrug, causing Bilbo to roll his eyes and Tarya to frown. She'd never heard of finding one's One. It wasn't exactly how things went with her kin._

_"Yes, but… how do you know it's the One?" Bilbo asked and Tarya looked at Fili as well who was scratching his head with a sheepish expression._

_"Well… I wouldn't know. Ask Gloin. Gloin?"_

_Tarya's gaze wandered over towards the red-haired dwarf that cleared his throat awkwardly, obviously a bit taken aback by the sudden attention he was getting, for the whole camp was practically staring at him and waiting for an answer now, except the ones that probably already knew the story, Tarya thought, his brother for example._

_"Well, I – " he cleared his throat, obviously not sure what to say or whether to say anything at all. But as Tarya caught his gaze, she saw him hesitate for a moment._

* * *

Kili watched Gloin as he hesitated, looking into the Amarok's eyes that were apparently having an almost compelling effect on the burly dwarf. It was just a moment later that Gloin huffed slightly, although not angrily but rather in a defeated manner.

"Well, you just… _know_, I suppose."

"How did _you_ know?" the Amarok asked quietly, obviously not happy with the answer and Kili couldn't help perking up his own ears.

"You _know_," Gloin repeated, unsure of how to explain himself. "Your body tells you. You look at your other half and your body reacts to it. The heart thumps hardly and the mere sight of your One fills you with warmth. And you… Mahal, you _just_ _know_."

Kili averted his gaze to his lap, a deep frown working its way onto his face. That was exactly what his body was doing to him lately and he could practically feel his brother's gaze on him.

"So it's love at first sight, then?" Bilbo asked and Kili looked back up. Was it? He hadn't fallen for Tarya at first sight, he thought, so there was no way she was his –

"Wasn't for me," Bombur interfered merrily, happy to participate in a conversation in which his opinion was actually one of the most valuables, for he had experience on the concerned topic. "I only realized Delifra was my One about three years after I'd met her."

"Yeah, I remember that day. He came all but stumbling into the house, all wide-eyed and flustered. Said his heart was trying to jump out of his chest," Bofur chuckled and turning towards Tarya he added, "I thought his heart had finally succumbed to all the fat he'd been stuffing himself with and was refusing to work any longer."

Bombur's cheeks reddened slightly at his brother's words and as Tarya curiously looked up at him, he shrugged awkwardly. "Well, I guess I was rather slow to understand. But I eventually realized that it only ever happened around her," the burly dwarf explained and the Amarok, as well as most of the dwarves smiled slightly.

Only on Kili's face every hint of a smile had suddenly vanished and had given way to a shocked expression that was directed at the plate in his lap, for he quite didn't dare to look up. And so he didn't notice that not only Fili, but also two other people were watching him closely.


	28. Stepping into darkness

**Hello and first off: sorry for the wait! I had a little personal drama going on lately and didn't get to write or update as I would have wanted to. But now I'm here and I have a new chapter with me :D**

**_happypills27_: Hahaha! Oh my god, I don't ****wanna know what that teacher was thinking :D I'm really glad you liked the chapter, though! Thank you so much :)**

**_DwarvenWarrior_: Yeah, now Kili knows what's up, though that causes another problem, you'll see :D I know that feeling, I was on a riding day-trip once when I was younger and god, my muscles were so sore afterwards :D**

**_Doodler100_: Well, she could hardly go and run around naked, could she? xD Kili is one sexy dwarf, indeed, I can't argue with that :D But I think your OC should rather have a few words with Kili then, since he's a bit more the one 'making the moves' and Tarya has no idea of what's actually going on around her :D**

**_Teshka_: Aww, yeah, Kilarya the little cutie pies xD I'm happy you liked the last chapter! :D**

**Thank you guys so much for your reviews! Also to _DJ_ _Sparkles_, _ZabuzasGirl_, _AngelBells_ (I loved your reaction :D), _kaia_ and _Angel of the Night Watchers_!**

**I love reading from all of you guys!**

**Also thanks to those who favourited and followed and whatnot!**

**Now, read and please let me know what you think when you're done reading, I'd really like that :D**

* * *

_Tarya listened to Bombur as he sat down next to her to tell her about his wife and she couldn't help but smile at the big redhead's story. Apparently, Delifra had made a move on Bombur after she had been working with him in his kitchen for three years and everyone had long become aware that the dwarf maid had a soft spot for the cook. Well, everyone except the cook himself._

_Then one day, Delifra had waited for Bombur in the kitchen halls, a blueberry cake placed in front of her on the table. She'd said that she'd especially made it for him because she knew that it was Bombur's favourite._

_"It was the best blueberry cake I have ever tasted. The crust was perfectly baked, neither overdone nor underdone. The sponge was great and the filling was just exquisite, let me tell you. Sweet with just a hint of vanilla and –"_

_"I don't think the lass wants to hear about the cake, Bombur," Bofur interrupted his brother amusedly. "But rather about what happened with you and Delifra."_

_Bombur shot first his brother and then Tarya a sheepish look to which the Amarok replied with a small chuckle. The big dwarf shrugged slightly, a faint blush creeping on his cheeks. Tarya smiled softly at the redhead. She had never seen Bombur with as happy an expression on his face as he had now that he was talking about his One and she enjoyed it greatly. Tarya was quite fascinated by the concept of Ones, really. Apparently, it was something that only happened in the race of dwarves, for Bilbo didn't know of it either and was listening as fascinatedly to the companions' stories as she was._

_"Well, as I ate the cake and looked into Delifra's face… she was looking so expectant and hopeful, you must know… it was like something clicked in place inside me."_

_"Well, they always say that the way to a man's heart is through his stomach," Bilbo muttered next to her, earning a few chuckles from around the camp._

_"Who says that?" Tarya asked, slightly confused, as she turned her gaze to Bilbo. She'd never heard anyone say that. Animals sure didn't, she thought, and as she looked up, she saw that almost all eyes were on her again and she wondered whether she'd just said something stupid by the way the dwarves were looking at her._

_"Well, all sorts of people, really," the hobbit answered after a moment of silence, looking at her with a curious expression. "It's quite a common saying."_

_Tarya slightly nodded her understanding; a small frown working it's way on her face. Love seemed to be a rather big thing for all races if they were even common sayings about it, not just dwarves, she thought._

_"Have you never heard it?" she heard Fili ask across the fire and the Amarok quickly glanced over to him, though accidentally catching his younger brother's gaze in the process. Her frown deepened slightly. Kili was looking at her as if he'd seen a ghost. But she had no time to wonder about it as the brunet dwarf quickly averted his gaze to somewhere else, leaving her to hesitantly move her own over to Fili who was watching her thoughtfully._

_"No, I haven't," she said in reply to his question. "I guess it's not as common amongst my kin."_

_"Right," Fili mused, his brows drawing together in thought as he looked at her. "What is it like for Amarok, then?"_

_Tarya shot him a questioning look, to which the blonde dwarf cleared his throat slightly. "When you fall in love, I mean?"_

_Tarya shrugged slightly. She had never really thought about that before. "We don't."_

_"What do you mean, 'you don't'?" Fili prompted quickly, almost sounding offended. Tarya could only raise her eyebrows at him in surprise._

_"Well, romantic love is not something that Amarok are overly familiar with," she explained hesitantly, hearing her voice gaining a hint of defiance, although she really didn't quite know why. She didn't have to justify her kin's customs. "Amarok are wolves, we don't fall in love, really. We don't even live in packs like normal wolves, so we don't have those bonds, either. We – " she paused shortly, a bit embarrassed by what she was about to say. But the truth was the truth, she thought, and clearing her throat, she finished. "I guess we just… mate."_

_There was a long, almost uncomfortable silence as none of her companions knew how to respond to that and Tarya kept her gaze firmly on the floor, not willing to look any of her friends in the eyes, feeling heat spreading in her cheeks as they all stared at her. Although there was truly nothing to be embarrassed about, she thought. Even though she wasn't really just a wolf anymore and wasn't even sure how accurate her description still was in her own particular case, it was still completely natural behaviour for Amaroks. And anyway, there were so few of her kind out there that mating between Amarok was a rare thing in itself. In all her years, Tarya herself had never even seen another Amarok besides her mother. Still, she felt like she should have just kept quiet._

_"Well… that seems quite natural for wolves," Balin spoke up after a moment, his voice gentle and friendly as always and Tarya slowly raised her gaze to meet the old dwarf's. Balin was smiling softly at her and she was thankful for the old dwarf's friendly demeanour._

* * *

Kili was not a happy dwarf.

In fact, the young prince of Durin felt utterly miserable as they set out on the road again the next morning.

He had not been able to find any sleep that night, his mind keeping him awake until he could see the morning sun rising in the sky. The last evening, his thoughts and feelings had wandered from first confusion, as his own body seemed to betray him whenever he was near Tarya, to the shocking realization that he had evidently found his One in an Amarok and that there was nothing he could possibly do about it. And then, before he could even so much as truly process that he was in love – that he _actually_ _loved_ Tarya – he was confronted with the crushing certainty that his adored one would never return those feelings because she didn't even know what love truly meant.

The fact that Tarya had been lying as close beside him as she usually did and that he could practically feel the warmth radiating off her body had not been helping much to calm his mind, either. Normally, the black-haired woman's presence next to him would have helped him sleep quieter, ease his mind. But last night it had suddenly just been a painful reminder that she was so close and yet unreachable. And that feeling still remained the same now that she was sitting in front of him on the pony again, her back softly colliding with his chest every now and then.

It was driving Kili insane.

She was there – his One – right under his nose and he couldn't tell her how he felt about her, although his whole body was urging him to do so. It almost seemed to be worse than before, now that he knew what was going on with him. But Kili knew he couldn't give in to that. The way she had talked about her kin's attitude towards love the night before was his proof. Tarya was not familiar with it and he would just ruin their friendship if he suddenly made a move on her. She wouldn't understand and he would probably just manage to scare her away from him. He couldn't risk that.

This was all so wrong, Kili thought with a silent sigh. There had never been word of dwarves falling in love with anyone not their race. At least, none that Kili had heard of. Why did it have to be him of all people whom it happened to? It seemed like the Valar were playing a rather cruel joke on Kili, letting him fall in love with someone who wouldn't return his feelings. He wasn't sure what happened to dwarfs whose love stayed unrequited. It was said, though, that a dwarf who found his One would never love another in his lifetime. And Kili had no trouble imagining that. Now that he knew what exactly it was that he was feeling, he was also certain that he would feel like this towards Tarya for the rest of his life, even if he'd never actually tell her. He couldn't tell her.

He knew he would never be more than a friend to the Amarok, never her beloved. But Kili could do that, he thought, albeit a bit grimly. It wasn't quite enough, it wasn't what his heart truly wanted but he could live with it. He could live with never being able to call Tarya his beloved if it meant that he wouldn't lose her. But he would have to keep his distance from now on, at least for a while, until he had his feelings back under control. For his own good.

"Well, here is Mirkwood!" he suddenly heard Gandalf exclaim loudly and was abruptly ripped out of his trail of thoughts. Kili blinked a few times, wondering how he'd managed to get so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed the large dark trees growing ever bigger before them as they came closer to the forest.

He then felt Tarya shift uncomfortably in front of him as the company stopped right at the edge of Mirkwood and quickly descended the pony, reaching up his arms to help her down. Tarya accepted his aid silently, shooting him a quick look before she turned her back on him as soon as she felt the floor beneath her feet and walked away towards Bilbo. Kili sighed quietly. He'd not spoken a word to her – or anyone, for that matter – since the last evening and she was obviously quite angry with him for giving her the cold shoulder. And Kili couldn't blame her, for she had no idea what she was even getting it for. But he just couldn't bring himself to talk to her as if nothing had happened. Not yet.

"Are you all right?" he suddenly heard a very familiar voice asking carefully from beside him. Kili looked up and saw Fili standing a few feet away, holding his own pony by the reigns and watching him worriedly. The blonde dwarf had of course noticed the dark rings around his younger brother's eyes.

Kili shortly looked around, noticing that the rest of the company was a bit further away, nearer to the forest gate already.

"Yeah," he then mumbled, avoiding his brother's gaze. "Just tired."

Fili's brows drew together in worry as he observed Kili's face. His little brother was looking positively miserable and Fili was quite sure he knew why. He'd seen the realization dawning on his face the night before and he'd seen the hopelessness creep into his features just moments later. Fili knew his brother was in love with Tarya, and he knew that Kili knew it as well. The only problem was that apparently Kili's solution to this was to push the Amarok away from him.

He opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by a sharp look from Kili. "Don't start."

Fili closed his mouth, eyebrows rising in question.

"I know what you're about to say," Kili stated, maybe sounding a bit harsher than he intended to. "Don't start."

With a sigh, Fili inclined his head, accepting that his brother didn't want to talk at the moment. Maybe it was just too early, the blonde dwarf thought; Kili always needed some time to adapt to big events. And finding one's One was quite a big event, indeed.

* * *

_Tarya felt an unpleasant feeling fill her stomach when she came to stand beside Bilbo and looked up at the massive dark trees before her. The forest gate was formed like some sort of archway out of two large trees that had mingled and knotted their branches together over many decades and Tarya already dreaded the first step inside the looming darkness that waited behind it._

_"Now," she heard Gandalf say. "You must send back these excellent ponies you have borrowed."_

_Tarya heard a few of the dwarves grumble at that, although she didn't quite understand it. After all, they had always known that they would have to send the ponies back to Beorn. And quite honestly, she was glad that she didn't have to share a pony with Kili any longer. While she had slowly gotten more used to the strangeness of sitting on a pony thanks to him, she could easily do without the awkward heavy silence he'd treated her with today and that would be easier if they weren't pressed up against each other all the time._

_"Beorn isn't as far off as you might think, you fools," Gandalf huffed at the dwarves' nagging. "If your eyes were as sharp as Mr. Baggins', then you would have seen the large bear that has been going along with us and watching the camp at night. Beorn is a bad enemy, and you had better keep your promises. You cannot guess the kindness he has shown you in letting you ride his ponies so far, nor what would happen to you if you dared take them into the forest."_

_Tarya raised her eyebrows slightly as she saw some of the dwarves exchange worried looks and turned her gaze to Bilbo who just shrugged. She had never actually seen Beorn following them along during the last days but every now and then in the evening, the wind had carried a certain smell over the camp and Tarya had known that the familiar bear was near._

_"What about the horse, then?" Thorin asked gruffly. "You don't mention sending that back."_

_"That is because I'm not sending the horse back; I am riding it."_

_Tarya felt her stomach drop at the wizard's announcement. Of course, she had known that Gandalf was planning to leave them soon but that he was dropping them off on the very edge of Mirkwood still filled her with a certain amount of dread. Having a wizard in the company had been quite useful, after all. As it turned out, a lot of the others had similar opinions and did not hesitate to share them with Gandalf but he waved all complaints off. He had pressing business to attend in the south and – as he was saying – he was already late._

_And so there was nothing left to do for them than to fill their water-skins on a nearby stream and unpack the ponies. Tarya saw the two Durin brothers stand together, both their faces hard and thoughtful, although Fili shot her a small smile when he caught her gaze. Tarya smiled back as Dwalin handed her the pack she'd have to carry._

_They had distributed the bags and packages as fairly as they could, although Tarya was almost sure that hers was a bit lighter than the others', for when Bilbo put on his pack, he almost toppled over. Tarya quickly grabbed his shoulder to steady him and the hobbit shot her a thankful look out of slightly widened eyes._

_"Don't worry," Thorin said from beside them, causing the both of them to look up at the dwarf-king who was just re-strapping his bow to his back. "It will get lighter all too soon. I expect we will all wish our packs heavier before long, when the food begins to run short."_

_"What an optimistic outlook you've got there," Tarya replied dryly and Thorin just sent her a pointed look. They both knew his words were true and the Amarok sighed quietly as he stepped past her, directing her gaze back to the archway that marked the entrance to the forest. She didn't feel good about this._

_"It looks quite uninviting," Bilbo muttered and she just nodded, for the hobbit was stating a mere fact._

_"Let's just hope we'll get through soon," she said, sharing a small smile with Bilbo before she suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder. Turning around, she met Gandalf's sharp gaze. The wizard bent down slightly, leaning on his staff as he did so._

_"My dear Tarya," Gandalf muttered, a small smile coming to play around his lips. "I sure hope we meet again before the end of your journey. You have made the right decision in staying with them."_

_"Have I?" Tarya asked lowly, her gaze involuntarily wandering to the brunette dwarf that was standing further away with his brother, his back turned on her. Had she done something to offend him? Tarya didn't know but she felt her mood drop further with every moment he kept this behaviour on._

_Gandalf smiled softly. "Indeed, you have. And be certain that you will always make the right decision as long as you are following your heart."_

_Tarya returned her gaze to the grey wizard, frowning slightly as she tried to make sense of his words._

_"Trust your heart and your friends, and you shall always find the right path, Tarya," Gandalf muttered, squeezing her shoulder gently. Tarya couldn't help but return his smile, sad that the wizard was leaving._

_Gandalf's gaze wandered to Bilbo then who had witnessed the exchanged silently. The hobbit was looking rather uneasy at the idea of stepping into Mirkwood and Gandalf patted his shoulder amicably. "Now, Bilbo, don't back out now. You have come so far already. I wish you good luck for the remainder of the journey."_

_Tarya looked at Bilbo who still seemed a bit uneasy, gazing up at Gandalf with an unsure expression on his face. He cleared his throat slightly. "I- I found something in the Goblin tunnels," he then mumbled, causing Gandalf to narrow his eyes at him. Tarya's brows drew together questioningly as she watched the hobbit's right hand fumble the small pocket on his vest._

_"What did you find?" asked Gandalf slowly, observing Bilbo closely. The hobbit's gaze flew to the ground then, before it landed on Tarya who gave him a small smile. His expression changed ever so slightly and as he returned his gaze to Gandalf, he pressed his lips together for a moment before he finally answered._

_"My courage," Bilbo said a bit hoarsely and Tarya smiled brightly at this statement._

_"Good," Gandalf chuckled, winking slightly at the small man before him. "You'll need it."_

_Tarya exchanged a look with Bilbo and her returner her smile as Gandalf turned away from them and towards the rest of the group. Everyone had their packs shouldered by now, their weapons strapped to their sides and backs, ready to depart. Bilbo followed the wizard as he stepped to his horse and began to bid them farewell. Tarya averted her gaze to the entrance to the forest again, standing alone at the edge for a moment while Gandalf wished them good luck and courage several times, telling them something about how he would maybe check in on them once again before the journey was all over. Tarya wasn't really listening though, her hands nervously fumbling the two longs daggers that were strapped to her hips._

* * *

"Goodbye!" Thorin growled at the wizard, after Gandalf had already mounted his horse. "If you won't come with us, you had better get off without any more talk."

Fili saw Gandalf shoot his uncle a slightly cross look but a moment later, the wizard turned his horse in the direction they had come from. "Goodbye, then!" he called as he rode off into the West. The dwarves turned around and headed for the forest gate when they suddenly heard the wizard's faint voice one more time and as Fili turned around, he saw Gandalf's silhouette in the distance, the wizard having brought his hands to his mouth as he called out to them. "Goodbye! Be good, take care of yourselves – and DON'T LEAVE THE PATH!"

Then he turned around and was soon out of sight.

"That wizard always needs to have the last word," Fili muttered quietly, causing Kili beside him to snort slightly.

"Well, it's either him or uncle. He won this round," the brunette whispered so that only Fili would hear it. The blonde dwarf grinned at his younger brother before they turned around as Thorin ordered them to move.

As Kili turned, his gaze fell upon Tarya who was standing right at the forest gate, staring into the dimness they were about to step into. The Amarok was looking rather nervous but her expression changed when she threw a look over her shoulder and accidentally caught his gaze. Her features hardened somewhat as a hurt look crept its way into her golden eyes. She kept looking at him as he came closer with Fili beside him and Kili felt his heart give a hard tug in his chest. He sighed quietly. This had to stop as soon as possible, he thought, as he averted his gaze, settling it onto the back of the person that was walking in front of him, which happened to be Bilbo.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Tarya fall in step further ahead next to Dwalin as they plunged into Mirkwood.


	29. Breaking bonds

**Hello again! A new chapter already? Yes, yes, indeed :D**

**_Sam0728_: I'm really sorry! Your last comment on chapter 27 completely slipped past me! You were right with Fili and Gandalf watching Kili (Gandalf's always watching everyone xD) but the third person wasn't Thorin. You'll see whom it was in this chapter, though :D**

**_DwarvenWarrior_: Haha :D Well, it's all a bit too much for poor Kili... You'll see what his behavior leads to in this chapter, though I'm afraid you're not gonna like it xD**

**: Yeah, poor Kili can't quite cope with all that new information... It would definitely be a spoiler if I told you whether this has a happy end or not, so I'm gonna keep my mouth shut and hope you keep reading :D**

**_Doodler100_: Yeah, Kili's quite far from telling Tarya how he feels at the moment, though maybe that will change with this chapter... or not... who knows? :D**

**_Scribe of Erebor:_ Oooh, yes, there's a lot of trouble ahead for Kili and not just because of his uncle... Though Thorin starts to warm up to Tarya in this chapter (at least a bit... a tiny bit...), although I can't tell you whether that will be good for the whole affair in the end or rather bad... Considering that we're talking about Thorin, I'd go with the second option :D**

**Thank you all for your reviews! Of course, also to _ZabuzasGirl_, _Lillianpost_, _Karkitty_ and _kaia_! I really enjoy reading from all you guys! :)**

**And thanks again to the lovely people who keep favoriting and following!**

**Now read and leave me a comment when you're done because I'd really like to know what you think! :D**

* * *

_The forest path was narrow and they set up to walk in pairs of two, so that there was enough room to both sides, following it as it went around tree trunks, leading them ever deeper into the murk of the forest until the small light that was coming from the other side of the gate was nothing more than a small dot behind them and then soon vanished completely._

_Tarya's mood had hit bottom as soon as she had made her first step into Mirkwood. She had already felt rather hurt by Kili's unkind treatment and now additionally came the unease of being in this gloomy forest. Tarya didn't feel comfortable and she could see that she wasn't the only one, since the companions' chatter had more or less died down a while ago. For Tarya, it was simply too dark, too stuffy in here and above all it was much too quiet for her liking. It was not an enjoyable quietness that this forest harboured but an ominous one. One that made the hair on Tarya's neck stand on end. There were a few squirrels that sometimes crossed their path with fur as black as the night and the trees along the path were crowded with large cobwebs, much larger than any Tarya had ever seen, though none of them reached out to the path. But what truly troubled Tarya were the occasional scrambling and scuttling noises in the murk of the trees beside the path. She couldn't see what was lurking there but she was quite sure that it wasn't friendly, more than a few times feeling like something was watching her out of the darkness._

_"You all right there, little wolf?" Dwalin asked after they had been on the forest path for quite a while already and Tarya had walked silently alongside him while the little light that managed to get through the treetops was slowly fading. She shot the burly warrior a sideways glance. Dwalin's gaze was set on where Thorin was walking with Balin not far ahead of them but Tarya knew he was waiting for an answer._

_"I don't like this forest," she muttered, her eyes scanning the trees around them._

_"Aye, neither do I," Dwalin replied grumblingly. "Maybe the lads in the back could cheer you up a bit."_

_Tarya turned her head to look at him and then just shrugged hesitantly, not quite knowing what to say. She knew that he was talking about Fili and Kili but she was truly not in the mood to be walking with them, which was to say with Kili. All that awaited her at the back of the group was a silent treatment that she didn't understand and she could gladly do without that. It would only hurt and anger her more than she already was._

_"I'm quite happy with walking beside you, Dwalin," she said with a small smile, though her heart felt heavy in her chest. The warrior looked at her thoughtfully for a moment before his gaze hardened ever so slightly at whatever he was seeing in her eyes. Suddenly, he looked like he wanted to hit something with his axe and Tarya frowned at the burly dwarf. Dwalin's gaze softened as soon as he noticed her look and he patted her shoulder roughly yet cordially._

_"Well, I appreciate your company, khael."_

_Tarya glanced curiously up at him. "Khael?" she asked, raising her eyebrows at the unknown word. Dwalin shot her a small look._

_"'Tis Khuzdul," he replied. "It means 'wolf of all wolves'."_

_Tarya saw both Thorin and Balin shoot them a look over their shoulder out of the corner of her eyes, the white haired dwarf having a surprised smile on his face, but she didn't pay attention to it as she was now genuinely smiling up at Dwalin, feeling bashful and yet deeply honoured that he would bestow a name like that upon her. Dwalin seemed to sense the effect of his words and put one hand on her shoulder to squeeze it slightly. He offered her a small but honest smile and Tarya had no doubt that he had just shown her a rather big sign of affection when he had decided to call her that._

_Dwalin didn't say anything else after that and they walked on in a comfortable silence until Thorin stopped before them. The dwarf-king shortly glanced over the whole company._

_"We will make camp for the night. It's too dark to keep moving on and we can't risk losing our way in here," Thorin announced and Tarya quickly let her pack slide from her back, thankful that she could get rid of the heavy weight for a while. And truly, the forest was so dark now that you could barely see your own hand if you held it in front of your face. Tarya didn't know how bad the dwarves' vision was if she already had trouble with her sharpened wolf-like sight._

_They huddled together on the path, not daring to move into the trees beside it and Tarya suddenly found herself between Dwalin and Thorin – which was highly unusual but she could hardly just go and sit beside Kili – as Dori attempted to get a fire going. But all too soon, large moths came flying and fluttering about the camp, leaving them no choice than to put the fire out and sit in the all-consuming darkness by themselves as they ate their dinner._

_Thorin took first watch that night and as one after the other the dwarves' low talking turned into rather loud snoring, Tarya couldn't find any sleep._

* * *

Thorin watched the darkness with one hand on the hilt of his sword. He could barely see anything, which made it hard to keep watch at all. The only thing there was were big glooming eyes watching the camp from the dark beside the path. Insect eyes, Thorin thought, only much bigger than usual. It would be difficult to defend themselves in this darkness in case these things decided to attack them if they couldn't even see where their blows would land. The dwarf-king already started to hate this forest more with every passing hour.

There was slight movement to his right where Thorin knew the Amarok was lying and just a second later, he felt her body graze his leg as she turned on her bedroll. Then there was a sigh.

"You should be asleep," Thorin murmured into the darkness, feeling a bit strange to have Tarya next to him at night, since she usually slept beside his youngest nephew. But the two of them had not spoken a word to each other the whole day, Thorin had noticed, although he didn't quite know why. It seemed unusual, since the two of them seemed to have developed a rather deep bond of friendship. Thorin only hoped that whatever quarrel Kili and Tarya had would not affect the quest or else he would have to step in. He couldn't afford any of his companions to get distracted from the journey, especially now that they were in Mirkwood, which was probably the most dangerous part of the whole quest if one didn't count the dragon waiting at the end of it.

There was a short pause before Tarya's quiet voice reached his ears. "I can't sleep with all those eyes watching me."

Thorin nodded slightly, he probably wouldn't find much sleep either if he weren't on watch anyway. The big yellow glimmering eyes moved around up and down the edge of the path, some closer and others further away but they were all watching the company.

"You should still try to get some rest," the dwarf-king said and there was a long silence before he heard Tarya shift uncomfortably beside him again. He shortly wondered whether anyone else beside the Amarok had so much trouble sleeping.

"Thorin?" he suddenly heard Tarya whisper quietly and he couldn't help but turn his head to look at where he thought her head was. It was hard to tell in this blackness but as he looked at her, he saw her golden eyes glimmer faintly through the darkness.

"Aye?" he replied questioningly, not sure whether he was comfortable with a nightly conversation with the Amarok. They had never actually talked much to each other before the incident at Beorn's and after that, it had become an even less frequent occasion. There was some sort of silent agreement between him and her, Thorin thought, and he was happy to keep it that way, not sure whether a conversation between them would not eventually result in an argument.

"What is Erebor like?" Tarya asked lowly.

Now that took him by surprise and he looked down into the warm gold of her eyes with raised eyebrows that she probably couldn't see in the dark. Thorin hesitated a moment, not sure what he ought to say. But Tarya waited patiently and eventually, he spoke up again, his voice barely more than a hoarse whisper in the night.

"It was beautiful," he said, thinking back to the time before Smaug's attack. "Great halls and mines, hand-carved into the stone, reaching down further than the roots of the mountain itself. Every wall was lined with precious gems and lit with torches that made the jewels in the walls dance with light. It wasn't just a damp dark hole in a mountain, or a city. It was a home."

He heard his own voice fill with resentment as he continued, unable to stop where he should have. "It was a home fit for kings… and it was taken from us." He felt Tarya stir next to him. "We were once a noble people, not tinkers and merchants scraping around in the dirt for copper coins - but dwarf lords!"

"You dwell on the past," Tarya muttered lowly beside him and Thorin huffed slightly, feeling his temper rising at her blunt statement.

"Do not tell me the past does not matter."

"I don't." Tarya said quickly, her voice soft and careful and filled with something that Thorin thought to recognise as dolour. "Our past is what makes us. I merely think it's of no use filling your heart with so much sorrow."

"Are you saying that I do such?" Thorin asked quietly, although he could hear the lurking tone in his own voice. There was no doubt Tarya had heard it, too, for she stayed silent for a long moment in which the dwarf-king wondered what she was thinking about.

"I think your heart is filled with the grief and anger of a whole people," Tarya murmured eventually and Thorin was a bit surprised at the compassionate tone that suddenly accompanied her voice. "And I think that something like that might be too much to bear for one person alone."

The dwarf-king looked into the darkness that surrounded them for a moment, thinking about her words. Tarya was speaking the truth; he knew that, of course. Though he wondered why she seemed to care so much. Maybe it was because her kin had been hunted for decades. Thorin used to have a home but Tarya… she never had the possibility to stay somewhere and build one for fear of being detected, he thought frowningly. The dwarf-king closed his eyes for a moment, before he sighed wearily, unwilling to dwell further on this topic.

"Rest now. You will need your strength once morning comes and we move on," he said then, clearing his throat quietly. "No harm will come to you in your sleep, I will see to it."

Everything he got as an answer was a soft sigh and after a few minutes he heard Tarya's steady breathing beside him, telling him that the Amarok had finally fallen asleep.

* * *

_A week after entering Mirkwood, Tarya was still walking at the head of the group, mostly next to Dwalin, Bofur or Bilbo. Sometimes she even found herself walking beside Thorin for a while even though they never talked much. But it was somehow quite alarming that suddenly even the dwarf-king would speak more to her than Kili._

_She had made two attempts of talking to Kili during the last days, both failing as he stubbornly spurned every of her efforts. It was driving Tarya crazy, it hurt and she was angry, although she tried to keep her feelings to herself as best she could. At the moment, she was wishing she'd never actually joined this quest in the first place and it was all because of Kili. She had tried the nice way, approached him like she would normally do but the brunet dwarf kept brushing her off as if she were nothing but an unpleasant travelling companion. And when Tarya threw a glance over her shoulder and saw him talking casually with Fili, she decided that she had had enough of it._

_"What is your problem?" she demanded as she let herself fall in step beside him, causing Fili to move aside for her and walk in front of them after he'd shot the two of them a wary look. Kili looked at her, seemingly a bit taken aback but didn't say anything. Tarya raised her eyebrows at him, feeling her frustration rising steadily. "Have I done something to offend you?" she asked, trying to keep her anger out of her voice._

_"No," Kili replied curtly, averting his gaze from hers. Tarya had trouble suppressing the growl that threatened to rise in her throat._

_"Then why are you avoiding me?"_

_"I'm not," Kili answered and the Amarok snorted angrily when he still didn't look at her._

_"Then what exactly is it that you're doing?"_

_When Kili refused to answer, she stopped in her tracks, grabbing his sleeve harshly. That caused him to stop as well and look at her reluctantly as the company moved on steadily without them._

_"Tarya…" Kili muttered, suddenly sounding almost pleading, confusing Tarya even more than she already was._

_"What's going on, Kili? I don't understand why you are doing this. Are you angry with me? Have I done something wrong?" She heard the slight tremor in her own voice, hoping that Kili wouldn't notice it._

_"You haven't," Kili replied shortly, retrieving his arm from her grip quite roughly. And then he suddenly seemed to be getting angry as well, looking at her as if she had offended him somehow. "I simply don't want to talk to you, do you not understand that? I just can't have you near me at the moment, so… so just kindly stop bothering me and use your time for more useful things. Go fetch a squirrel or something."_

_Tarya took an appalled step back upon his harsh tone of voice. The last time he'd spoken to her like that had been upon their fight on the Carrock and just like then, his words struck her like a punch in the stomach, only harder because this time, she didn't have any idea where they were coming from. He didn't want her to bother him anymore. He didn't want her to be near him because apparently, she was nothing more than a stupid doggy in a human form to him. Go fetch a squirrel, the disrespectful words echoed in her head and she couldn't help the hurt expression that fought its way onto her face. How could he say something like that to her? Friends didn't treat each other like that._

* * *

Kili could have slapped himself in the face. How could he possibly have said something like that to her? _Go fetch a squirrel? Really?_

His eyes widened as he realized what he'd just done. He saw the hurt expression appearing on Tarya's face and immediately wanted to apologize, wanted to take his words back. He hadn't meant to say any of those things. Mahal, he was just _so_ _angry_. Angry with himself for not being able to get his feelings under control. Angry with the Valar for putting him into this misery. Kili was angry at the whole world and now he had taken it out on the one person that meant the world to him.

"I – I'm… I didn't mean – " he stuttered, taking a step towards her but Tarya cut him off before he had the chance to formulate his apology, holding up her hand to stop him from coming any closer.

"Very well," she interrupted, her voice cold and yet trembling with suppressed emotion. "I will not bother you any longer. I'm sorry my company is such a nuisance to you."

She turned away from him then and made to head after the company who had gotten quite far already.

"Tarya!" Kili called weakly after her, not able to fight the desperation that suddenly flooded his body and mind. He'd just wanted to distance himself from her in order not to ruin their friendship and now he'd managed to do just that. The Amarok turned back to him for a moment, only to give him an icy glare that felt like a punch in the stomach to Kili.

"And never tell me to go fetch something again, _ever_." She growled before she turned her back on him and jogged to catch up with the rest of the group.

Kili just stood there for a few seconds, running his hands through his hair in complete frustration as he watched her move back to the head of the company and out of his sight. "Now you've done it," he muttered to himself, kicking angrily at a tree root before he headed after the others as well. He reached them quickly, seeing Fili shoot him a questioning and worried look over his shoulder as he saw him approaching but before Kili reached his brother, he suddenly felt himself getting gripped roughly by the collar of his coat and pushed painfully against a tree.

A surprised and slightly pained grunt left Kili's mouth and as he looked up, he saw himself confronted with Dwalin's face mere inches from his, the bald warrior staring down at him as if he was about to ram his axe into his skull.

"What have you done?"

"I – what?" Kili choked out uncomprehendingly, eyes wide as Dwalin pressed him up harder against the tree trunk.

"Tarya," Dwalin growled dangerously, having seen the hurt expression with which the Amarok had basically fled from Kili. "What did you say to her?"

"I – that… I don't want her near me," Kili stuttered helplessly, fearing that if he would make an excuse, Dwalin would know and he would surely get a punch in the face by the angry dwarf before him.

Dwalin narrowed his eyes at the young prince. "You're a fool," he all but spat. "You're trying to fight it. You can't fight it."

Kili just looked at him, not understanding what Dwalin was talking about. The big dwarf growled in annoyance before he let go of Kili's collar, causing the young dwarf to fall with his back against the tree with a slight huff.

"You listen to me now," Dwalin growled, raising his index finger to point it warningly at Kili. "If Tarya truly is your One, then you can't fight it. It won't go away just because you distance yourself from her. The only thing you will achieve with that is to cause pain to both you and her."

Kili's eyes widened in horror as he processed the dwarf's words, completely shocked that Dwalin was able to pinpoint what had happened so easily, something that did not go unnoticed by the bald warrior. "I saw you when they talked about it. It was written all over your face, lad."

"I didn't…" Kili trailed off, not knowing what to say, not even able to sort out any of his thoughts at the moment.

"She's not fully wolf, Kili," Dwalin continued, obviously still angry with the young one in front of him but determined to give the prince a piece of his mind. "She's much more than a normal Amarok – _in every way_. But I will tell you one thing, and I'm telling you once only."

Kili's eyebrows rose in question as Dwalin paused a moment, glaring dangerously at him.

"If you take your problems out on her once more, if you hurt her again… you will answer to me."

And with that, he stepped away from a completely confused Kili and quickly moved to the head of the company again. Kili's eyes were still wide and his mind whirling with thoughts when he finally willed himself to step away from the tree and catch up with Fili who was the only one to have noticed the incident from his spot at the very end of the company.

"What in Mahal's name was that?" Fili hissed agitatedly, taking in his brother's flabbergasted face.

"That was… a very angry piece of advice," Kili muttered quietly, unconsciously rubbing his neck, unable to fight the small flame of hope within him that had rekindled upon Dwalin's words. It was true; Tarya was not an ordinary Amarok. Maybe she was able to return his feelings. She'd said Amarok didn't build strong bonds, since they didn't even live in packs but Tarya had developed very deep bonds with all of them. Himself especially, Kili felt. She trusted him enough to transform in front of him, for Mahal's sake. Maybe there was still hope for him to be with her, Kili thought. That was, if she would ever speak to him again.


End file.
